


Quarantine

by YouAreJesting



Category: bangtan sonyeondan, bts, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, COVID19, Corona Virus - Freeform, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friends2Lovers But as slow as you can go until the anticipation kills us all…, Friendship, Multi, Other, Quarantine, Romance, Slow Burn, Slowest Burn, covid 2020, nothing too extreme just a reporter wanting a scandal, slightly obsessive side character, slowest burn but we be burning the eternal flame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 103
Words: 134,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23278762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouAreJesting/pseuds/YouAreJesting
Summary: Something to make your quarantine alone time a little less lonely. Immerse yourself into Quarantine with the Bangtan Boys.ALERT! The city has shut down!While you happen to be visiting the BigHit building. Banning anyone from stepping outside for the whole length of quarantine, while they disinfect the streets. If you step outside you might get arrested, shot or poisoned by the chemicals they are emitting through the city. But you aren't alone, you happen to meet the international Kpop boy group 'Bangtan Sonyeondan'. The stakes are high when supplies start running low and mysterious individuals roam the streets. Can you trust everyone inside? Are you ready to put your heart on the line when you know it could be risky?
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Reader, Jeon Jungkook/You, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Reader, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/You, Kim Namjoon | RM/Reader, Kim Namjoon | RM/You, Kim Seokjin | Jin/Reader, Kim Seokjin | Jin/You, Kim Taehyung | V/Reader, Kim Taehyung | V/You, Min Yoongi | Suga/Reader, Min Yoongi | Suga/You, Park Jimin (BTS)/Reader, Park Jimin (BTS)/You
Comments: 157
Kudos: 275





	1. 18/03/2020

The announcement lit up everyone’s phones at once the chimes and vibrations alerting everyone within the dance studio to the emergency update. Your brother looked horrified up at you as he read the text you couldn’t speak Korean or read it well enough to understand but he left to his office. You followed his footsteps and caught his office door before it could shut. 

Switching the tv on he nervously tapped the remote in his hand listening to the people in the news station talk while bright red banners at the top and bottom of the screen relayed the emergency message repeatedly. 

“What is happening?”  
“Everyone is to stay indoors, they are closing down the streets and disinfecting everything if you step outside you will be shot, detained or poisoned by the chemicals, they said there are no more flights in or out of South Korea” 

Running his hand through his dark brown hair which had once been what some might call a dishevelled design and now was a nest. His tone was clipped as he told you to stay in the office, he left the room his jacket disappearing as the door shut with a small click. The ticking of the clock was so loud or perhaps that was the fierce beating of your heart thrumming against your eardrums and shaking your vestibular system. Bladder feeling tight as the rush of adrenaline caused your kidneys to work double time. Lunging at the door and chasing after your brother, Where had he gone? Opening doors left and right down the hallway calling his name. 

Trying to catch a single glimpse of the tails of his coat, before you busted open more doors filled with back up dancers all looking equally nervous. Turning the corner you started a new hallway throwing open every door you could get your hands on, your chest grew tight. Falling through the door and into a room you called for your brother trying to see through your tears. 

“Where did you go?” You sobbed, falling to your knees you were gasping for air.   
“The virus?” One of the boys pointed at your collapsed figure in the doorway he had a very unique face, he had a strong jawline and high cheekbones his nose was super cute like a pixie slightly turned up and gave him a mischievous nature, his lips were turned in concern and the cupids bow was well defined and overall he had a lanky figure. You knew what he said as you had heard this word spoken repeatedly since you had been notified of the Coronavirus.

“Y/n” The familiar voice pulled you back to reality, “hey Woah it’s okay breath, it’s just an alert” There was a familiar rattling sound of a shaking canister and the plastic pressed to your lips brought back memories. You instinctively took a deep breath. “She is fine, she just gets panic attacks”

“You left me” wiping your eyes  
“You are okay, we all got tested on the way in remember, we are all healthy we have food and water and supplies to last a long time, and I am not leaving you alone okay” Laying your head back against the wall calming down enough to know you had walked into the office of the most famous K-pop boy band.

“I am sorry boys for my sister barging in”  
“No, it’s okay really,” This man said softly his voice was deep and he spoke English with clarity. He didn’t have a typical Korean boy band face but it was exotic and charming. He was very tall and slim. His full lips curved up into a smile and he handed over a blanket. Wrapping it around your shoulders, his large hands and long forearms had a few prominent veins that seemed to make you lose your breath in a totally unrelated way. “you must have been so scared, it’s okay?”

“I am sorry”  
“You can stay if you would like?” This voice was sweet and gentle speaking slowly in English. And yet the man behind the voice was truly a god sent the first thing you noticed were his large eyes which had sharp edges slightly turned up like a cat. Next, you noticed his smooth skin and prince charming demeanour. His lips were like soft pink pillows that made you wonder what it would be like to just gently bite. He stood up and walked closer kneeling in front of you, your eyes scanning his form he had shoulders like he was hiding football armour under his sweater. A part of you wanted to reach out and squeeze them gently.

“it is scary being on your own and my handsome face will make you feel better” he winked and you bit down on your lips before you said anything embarrassing.  
“No, we should leave you to it, come on, let’s not bother them anymore” With his arm under yours and across your back your brother helped guide you back to his small office. He was a choreographer and managed a few dance groups for BigHit, not at the level of BTS but bigger than a high school dance team. He laid you on the small couch and got you a glass of water. “Sleep I will email mum and dad”

He circled the floor his footsteps soundless on the plush carpet. You heard the tapping of a keyboard and faint sounds of what were either you dreaming or talking. It was like everything was happening at once and it felt like you had shut your eyes for a mere second, however, when you opened them the light was off and it was dark outside. The tapping of the keyboard and the talking had come to an abrupt stop. The silence was so loud.

He was gone. Throwing yourself upright you almost fell off the tiny couch only to be caught by a pair of hands. “your brother went to get some food but he was worried you would wake up, I was the only one who willingly stayed behind”

“Who are you?”  
“Kim Seokjin, but you call me Jin, You know” Eyes adjusting to the darkness you saw you were in the arms of the broad-shouldered gentleman. He sat you back onto the couch and you tried to discreetly touch his shoulders and you squeezed the area and he looked down at your hand.

“I am sorry, it’s just you looked like you were wearing football armour, I thought your shoulders were fake but they aren’t that is crazy”  
“Yes, they are real, so is my handsome face, you know, you may touch” he laughed grabbing your hands trying to bring them to his face, you shook your head before your stomach started growling. He pushed up onto his feet pulling you to yours as his hands were still gripping yours in a firm and yet gentle grip. “Okay, we go to eat”

He went to leave holding your hand but you moved it from his and linked your arm around his gently holding onto his bicep for support. He treated you like a gentleman and even helped you get a tray of food and carried them across the cafeteria. It was a set meal and Seokjin lead you to his table, you couldn’t spot your brother so you followed the broad-shouldered young man like he was parting the sea. 

“Ya Jiiiin” they shouted all talking as Jin placed your meal across from him.  
“Miss y/l/n, This is Kim Namjoon our leader and Jeon Jungkook, Min Yoongi, Park Jimin, Jung Hoseok, Kim Taehyung” They greeted you with a small hello bow or wave while eating and you lowered your head giving your name back before continuing to eat in silence. 

You made a face at the strong smell of kimchi. Gently lifting the small metal circle off your tray and pushed it to the centre of the table. Your stomach couldn’t handle the strong fermented taste of Kimchi. “Where do we sleep?” You piped up when they had finally stopped talking to eat their meals, your question had some of them freezing as they looked down at their plates.

“There is one room of beds but I don’t think we will get them, the CEO’s get priority” they nodded at the words and you hummed looking around.   
“What about all the couches? Are they foldout beds?” Pushing your empty tray forward to rest your hand on the table.   
“I don’t think so?” Namjoon hummed “perhaps we should invest”

Once dinner was over you searched the building for anything remotely useful for a bed and you came across an old storeroom, that had obviously accumulated props, broken furniture and lost and found items. Among the broken chairs and ripped curtains. You found a queen-sized futon in a packet it looked like a promotional item, the plastic cover was dusty and you found three sleeping bags. Taking the service elevator you brought the items upstairs and as quick as you could to your brother’s small office. 

You passed the boys communal meeting room and froze you didn’t need all these items. Knocking on the door you waited patiently. They opened the door and you stepped inside and shut the door, “I found a futon and some sleeping bags and I know there isn’t enough for everyone but I only need for my brother and I and thought maybe you might like something, as a thank you for being kind, You can probably fit three or four on the futon so you should have it”

“You found it so you should have it?” Namjoon said softly and you blushed you hadn’t expected all their attention on you like this. It made it hard to think of what to say.  
“Where did you find it?” Jungkook asked  
“There is a storage room in the basement full of broken furniture”

“Look Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Jungkook and I have Futon’s cause sometimes we fall asleep here when we are working you should keep whatever you want and we will take any extra’s”  
“Well, um if five of you have futons, then the other two can share the queen futon, and my brother and I will have sleeping bags, do you know if there is anyone else who needs something to sleep on?”

“Uh yes actually our manager in the office to the left,” Jimin said walking forward. The room seemed to get hotter with every elegant and precise step he took. Feet crossing one over the other his leg extending gracefully his steps looked light as a feather and didn’t leave a hint of a sound. He looked like you could bump him and he could go flying away. Yet the muscles contracting visibly against the dark fabric of his pants proved he wasn’t as feeble as you thought, he was compact and strong.

“Do you have a preference in which sleeping bags you would like?”  
“Uh..” Mind blank as you were frozen in place by his piercing eyes, they were a smouldering dark reddish-brown. You blinked cheeks turning a brighter shade of pink and started inspecting the three sleeping bags in your arms, you checked the size and made sure they were all cleaned and didn’t have any odd lingering smells. They were all in excellent condition so you chose the smallest. “I assume I am the smallest so your manager can have one of the taller ones”

“You’re cute, let’s go” He grinned taking one and patting your head, you followed him out watching his tight pants move with every step. You noticed his shoulders dip with each step and that he was leading with his hips. You ducked past him as he knocked on his manager’s office door. “Ah, goodnight dream about me”

You froze eyes blowing wide and your cheeks going bright red, his laugh made him look like an innocent schoolboy and he almost toppled over in amusement. You scurried off into the office trying to regain any semblance of composure, leaning against the door taking deep breathes the laughter echoing in your head “Where did you go?”  
“I got sleeping bags from an old storage room in the basement”

That night you couldn’t sleep to busy thinking about the handsome young men who were a few rooms down, you had met them all but only a few of them you had the chance to inspect closely.


	2. 19/03/2020

When the sun poured in from the window, you deemed it time to wake up, though you hadn’t actually slept, not that you didn’t try. There were specific requirements you needed to sleep. It had to be pitch black with soft tone music in the background and there had to be air running across your face by a fan or you would feel claustrophobic.

Stepping out into the hall, you heard two young female employees talk as they passed about ‘hot water running out’. Following them down the hall you saw the first set of bathrooms. It was packed, the line stretched out down the hall. 

“Maybe we should try the bathroom on the third floor?” one of the two women said,   
“No these are the best and it will be packed as well so we should just stand in line.” 

You walked away and to the third floor to see the line, you weren’t worried about showering anytime soon. It was also out the door with tired men and women sitting against the wall. Humming thoughtfully you remembered the storage room, there was an old bathroom beside it, what are the chances there was a shower in there. 

Taking the service elevator to the basement. It was clean and brightly lit, just as it had been the day before. There were cameras in some corners of the halls. You walked to the end cautiously, why did basements have such a bad reputation. Seeing the familiar storage room ahead of you and to the right was the bathroom. You pushed the door open hesitantly; you saw the stalls they were clean and unused, and like luck would have it the last had a shower. Locking the door you showered quickly the water was hot because there was a personal hot water system in the corner of the stall. 

With a towel wrapped securely around your chest, you quickly ducked into the storage room. Cleaning up a little and hanging ropes across the pipes on the walls. Making a makeshift clothesline to hang the clothes you had washed in the shower. There were some old costumes and props and hoodies. Searching the piles of clothing for something that fit. You found something you were nervous to wear. Embarrassingly you had found a box of old merch and discontinued items in various sizes, none of it had been worn they all still had tags and were sealed in their packets folded professionally. 

You pulled out a set of BT21 underwear in your size and felt your face grow hot if you were caught wearing these character underwear you would be mortified. You found what looked like a plain black hoody in an XXL and slipped it on. It reached to your knees. You chose this size as there were no pants in the pile and boxes you had searched just hoodies and underwear. 

You took the service elevator up to your floor and stepped out walking past the two women who had lined up in front of you still haven’t gone in. Continued walking you slowed past the boys meeting room you could hear groans of annoyance, “there is no hot water and the lines for the showers are huge” 

Deciding to take pity and potentially losing your secret shower, you knocked on the door. Met by a dishevelled Jin. Slipping past him and shutting the door, the room had a very manly musky scent and you blushed “I um… found a secret shower with a personal hot water system but you have to promise to keep it a secret or I won’t tell you?”

Their eyes lit up. Scrambling to you. You told them to pack their shower stuff in a discreet bag and they lined up waiting. 

“Follow me?” Turning and peeking out the door you heard them gasp and start laughing hysterically. You froze confused, had your hoody rode up and exposed your underwear. Tugging the back of the hoody down you sighed in relief realising that wasn’t the case. Whipping around to see they were hanging off each other trying to suppress their laughter. “what is it?”

“We didn’t know you were a fan of Suga?”  
“Who?” They pointed at the small thin young man, his eyes sleepy and his face blank, the corners of his mouth seemed permanently turned down.   
“You’re wearing my uh merch, it says ‘Suga’ on the back” you turned to have a look and facepalmed. 

Yoongi couldn’t help laughing at your shocked reaction, his eyes lost all their sleepiness and turned into rainbow arches, his soft cheeks lifting and his smile revealed. You could see his pink gums and you knew he was genuinely amused. 

“I uh stole it from the storage room, I thought it was a plain black hoody you have a lot of merch clothes down there,” Leading them from the room and past the line of employee’s to the service elevator.   
“Why do you take the service elevator?”   
“What services will we get when the whole city is stuck indoors? And the regular elevator is small and busy” 

“You are pretty smart?” Namjoon nudged you with his shoulder, which would have been fine if your body wasn’t tired and lethargic from lack of sleep. Stumbling back into Jimin’s arms.  
“Thank you, I find I can be smart when I need to be” The doors opened and like every time you stepped into the basement you felt like you were in some action or horror movie. 

“This is where we die?” Hoseok laughed his voice cracking a little. You laughed, actually laughed. There was something about the way he said it in English with his cute accent.

“That’s what I think every time I come down here. The bathroom is in there, there is only one shower but if you wash your clothes with the bucket and the generic soap I stole from the supply cupboard down the hall, you can wash your clothes and hang them in the storage room. It has decent ventilation down here so they won’t take to long to dry”

You left them to it, going back to the storage room, cleaning some more you found a board game and some promotional cans of drinks. There were some more clothes in another box, you tried to find a pair of pants that would fit but were unlucky. You couldn’t have it all. 

You sighed hanging a long white fabric backdrop over the slightly stained couch. Sitting as you emptied some more product boxes while waiting. You were tired but you couldn’t sleep. Deciding to use the BT21 makeup, you found you put on some makeup and smiled it was nice. You wondered why the storage room was filled with random bits of their work. 

You finished applying the lip tint when they walked in clean wearing only towels, “oh um” you turned to cover your eyes, “you have clothes and costumes over there”

They all sorted through the clothes and dressed while you faced the corner of the room. When they said they were done, you walked back to the couch to find it already occupied. “You look happier” Examining the group of boys, Taehyung was tying his shoes on the couch and Jimin and Yoongi were talking quietly looking up and down your legs your cheeks tinted pink 

Jin and Jungkook were hanging out washing and they stopped staring at your bra and underwear, causing you to get redder especially your neck and ears. Taehyung hooked his finger under the hem of the hoodie you were wearing and gently pulled it up at the side. With a squeal and a jump, you flailed slapping his hand away. 

“Taehyung, you can’t just do that?” Namjoon scolded and Taehyung blushed holding his hands up in defence.   
“Sorry I wasn’t trying to look at your underwear I was just wondering if you had pants on, but, um… are you wearing Cooky underwear?” Jungkook froze his cheeks going red and you looked away refusing to answer your face feeling like it was on fire. “I don’t know the character names but it’s a bunny?”

“Oh JayKay you lucky boy” Hoseok slapped the younger boys back and you frowned.   
“Again I just wore what was clean and I could find” You walked out of the room unable to stand to be near them your face was too warm. On your way back to the corridor they all caught up joining you in the elevator to the second floor. You were all going to the dining room for some breakfast. 

Your brother again was nowhere to be found, many of the boys were wearing prescription glasses complaining about not having contacts.   
“You look good don’t worry” you mumbled to Jin and he seemed to fluff right up like a proud peacock blowing a kiss at you from one end of the table. 

Taehyung sat in front of you and it was kind of hard to eat. He was so handsome. His face was mesmerising. His eyebrows were thick and eyelashes were long. He had rounded ears that stuck out giving him a silly kind of look but you thought it was so cute. You seemed mesmerised by the tiny freckle on his nose. 

Eating slowly giving up your kimchi again and settled for rice and the lightly seasoned side dishes. “You mustn’t like kimchi,” Namjoon said  
“It’s a strong flavour I am still getting used to but as for now it is making my stomach hurt my body is not used to fermented foods”  
“But kimchi is so delicious” Hoseok defended

“It’s like, imagine how you would feel if you had to eat bread every day your body would react. It’s nice at first but then you get sick of it, wanting something you are used to eating. Your body would bloat unused to the carbs. My body does the same thing with kimchi but instead of bloating if I eat it I might just vomit”

Yoongi nodded understanding and you sighed “I just want something bland like mash potatoes and chicken with no chilli or kimchi just plain food, just once” you sighed pushing the food around your plate Jungkook laughed beside you his teeth were adorable, and when he smiled his eyes did too you were lost for a moment. He handed you some of the plain food from his plate. They were all really handsome and you had to keep yourself from saying or doing anything embarrassing. 

Parting ways you went to find your brother, he was practising with the dancers. You sat watching, even helping one of the students through the routine. Dancing was a family trait, you had been dancing for as long as you can remember but you didn’t anymore, you had gotten so many rejections from your auditions that you finally gave up. 

So your brother tried not to act too surprised when he saw you standing and doing the very basic steps to show his student the routine. They were practising for a festival which might not even be held due to the virus. sighing, the kids all took a break and your brother left sparring you a glance. 

Frozen in place you didn’t know you were walking until you were face to face with the stereo. Pressing the play button the music played and all you could hear was the rejection. 

_‘I am sorry you didn’t get the part’_

_‘We regret to inform you, your audition was not accepted’_

_‘You didn’t make it to the final audition round better luck next time’._

Shutting off the music you were having a panic attack. Again. Racing out of the room, you ran straight into Hoseok. He grabbed your arm. Looking down at your face, “hey breathe it’s okay, look at me and breathe” You copied his breathing until you felt yourself slump against his chest. He rubbed your back, “Hey, tell me what’s wrong?”

You hadn’t let any tears slip not this time, and you were determined to keep it that way. “It’s nothing”  
“Come on, that was not nothing?” He squeezed your hand, “tell me about it, I am a really good listener”  
He sat you down in your brother’s office and poured you some water, “it’s stupid”  
“Nothing is stupid if it makes you react like that?”

“I used to do something I pursued it and loved it very much, but everyone rejected me, said I wasn’t good enough said I wouldn’t become anything and after all the rejection I couldn’t take it anymore I couldn’t even think about this thing without panicking, I miss it so much, it use to make me happy. I use to get an electric buzz through my body and it was surreal. I could express myself and become whoever I wanted to be, but now all I hear is their voice telling me no”

“I understand, I wasn’t always this famous guy, I was a street dancer, I tried and tried and tried and I got rejections after rejections until one day I got scouted by BigHit”  
“How many times were you rejected? If you had to take a guess.”  
“Fifty to a hundred at least”   
“I was rejected 873 times, I had a tally that’s the equivalent of being rejected every day for two and a half years, forgive me if I felt worthless”

“Don’t let the no’s stop you okay, keep pushing until you get that yes because a life of struggle is better than a life of regret” he smiled patting your knee before leaving quietly and you sat there confused. 

You spent the day thinking about it, it scared you how your feet began itching to dance. Your body wanted to move. You walked past the dance studio rooms at least three times before finally, you got the courage to step inside. You sat off to the side watching your brother and Hoseok perfect their routine. 

“Hello” Namjoon smiled as the two of you were talking, he started teaching you a tiny bit of Korean, you only got through greetings, my name is, how are you? Where is the___? what is this? It was fun and took your mind off the dancing. 

You caught your foot tapping and left the room slowly before the feeling caught up with you. You went to the basement and to the storage room your clothes were almost dry, you continued searching through the boxes and bags of clothes and found some more stuff. It was a shirt that said plus multiply plus in yellow and blue, and the sweat pants you found the tag said soobin and was a perfect fit. 

Slipping them in a bag you headed upstairs, everyone went to dinner. Sitting beside your brother you ate slow, mind wandering with what if’s. He was right a life full of what if’s and regret was worse than the rejection. Your brother was talking adamantly with his students and the dance team, you ate what you could before you excused yourself leaving. Laying in the storage room you really couldn’t get the feeling out of your body or the music out your head. Your fear had morphed, you were scared to feel the joy that only dancing could bring, a fear of how bad you must be after the long break.

It was torture, it got dark. You got changed and travelled up the stairs this time trying to tire yourself out or slow yourself down because you knew exactly where you were headed. You took your time and you finally arrived on the fourth floor. You stepped into the empty dance studio and turned on the lights dimming them so they gave a faint glow, you didn’t want to alert anyone that you were inside. 

Turning down the stereo system you plugged your phone in and started a slow song, it started small, feeling the music, trying a few moves and stopping you didn’t have anything to go on just yet you were warming up. When none of the songs could draw anything out of you, you switched to the CD and hit play on whatever was inside. The song title appeared on the small led screen ‘Louder than bombs’. The music was able to move you, it had been so long you danced the lyrics ripping through you 

_Louder than bombs I break_. 

You finished the song crying and you wanted to do it again but the next song had you with the beat of the drums it was called ‘On’. Slowly getting into the songs each one bringing out a new emotion. Expressing everything you had, you had gone through the album twice. Dancing to black swan, the music died out when you heard clapping and turned falling on your behind. 

There was a slapping sound and a deep “ow what was that for?”  
“Tae, She isn’t supposed to know we are here idiot” The lights grew a little brighter and you saw the BTS boys and your brother.   
You frowned “how long have you been here?”  
“I have been here since pretty much the start,” Hoseok rubbed the back of his neck “you were dancing to some English songs”

“I came in halfway through louder than bombs the first time” Jimin grinned doing a few of the moves he memorised.  
“Your brother was looking for you, we had been searching everywhere,” Namjoon said “We worried you went outside”  
  


“Your dancing was really nice?” Jungkook said “I liked what you did with my song and the black swan dance you did was very pretty”  
“Y/n I haven’t seen you dance in years” Your brother stepped forward, you were feeling a little overwhelmed, “it was really good?”

“Well remember it because I am still not dancing” Trying not to cry the declaration ripping through your chest. Namjoon started explaining the meaning behind black swan you looked at your shaking hands “I have to go I really can’t do this” you tried to push past them as you staggered off down the hallway wiping your eyes on your sleeve. 

“It was nice” You froze the gravelly tone made you turn. Yoongi walked over and placed his hand on your head awkwardly patting it. While refusing to look at you. “I have never seen anyone move like that to my songs before, it made it seem like it was something more I don’t know beautiful it looked like actual art” 

He shuffled looking a bit nervous. Walking away leaving you dumbfounded. Sure it was one thing to hear. ‘You are so good’ but it was another to hear the sincerity in someone’s voice as they said something as deep and meaningful about your dancing like Yoongi had said to you. He called your dancing _‘Art’_ for crying out loud. That’s the highest compliment you could possibly think of at this moment. 


	3. 20/03/2020

Again sleep evaded you, leaving you pissed. Ready to destroy your brother’s clock because it just kept ticking. Unable to take it any longer you left the room strolling through the hallway like a zombie. You moved through the building to many floors you knew you definitely should not have been on but you were ready to use your foreigner card. The one that allowed you to walk into restricted areas. All you had to do was look at them and say.

‘I am sorry, I don’t speak Korean’ and when they try to translate it to you, ‘I am sorry, I didn’t know I can’t read any signs’. This was a great way to feed your curiosity and get in some snooping. The fifth floor was full of recording studios. It was quiet, the whole building was still. Yet here you were walking in some mang slippers that were way too big for your feet. As you walked passed the doors you heard a faint sound coming from inside a studio.

Finding the studio named ‘Genius Lab’ emitting such a beautifully inviting melody you were met with the stark contrast of the studio door. Trying not to laugh, there was a doorbell, a keypad lock and there was a mat that said ‘go away’ with a cat giving the middle finger. Someone didn’t want people to enter. You kept walking along but ended up at the stairwell heading up another flight. 

The sixth floor looked different. It was like a high-end office; the floors were buffed and it was so open, it made the other floors look like a shed and the basement like a hole in the side of a mountain. You knew it represented the tiers of people in the business so it was probably right that you spent most of your time underground. You didn’t step onto that floor going back down to the fifth. Slowly watching your feet as you retrace your steps along the corridor. Startled you fell back as you received a door to the face. 

“ah joesonghabnida, ah sorry sorry” he couldn’t stop laughing. Feeling so tired you just laid there on the ground staring at the ceiling, but this to him was pure comedy. 

“Are you okay?” He called, you blinked eyes barely open, he stepped over you and walked around until he could crouch by your head. Yoongi looked absolutely stunning above you especially when he was amused. What you didn’t know was he thought you looked equally beautiful below him. “Are you sleep geodgi… Ah, I mean sleepwalking?” 

“I wish I could sleep” your voice was more like a croak from the lack of use, “I haven’t slept in days and it’s making my head hurt”

He straightened you up onto your feet and he walked with you back to where you were supposed to be staying. He wished you good luck and continued on to the BTS meeting room. You laid there trying to meditate, count sheep, anything but it wasn’t working. The air seemed stale and it was too quiet. His laptop on his desk had a blinking light and you couldn’t sleep. 

The next morning you walked down the stairs slowly gripping the rail not trusting yourself. You had been like this before, usually, able to stay awake for two whole nights but when the third night came you would pass out. Everyone had gathered around on the first floor talking about something. 

Leaning over to a young man, he was short and stocky. His hair looked odd as it fell limp against his face like it had been cut for a specific styling technique but you assumed everyone was living without their hair and face products. “what are they talking about?”

“They got an alert today saying that the Information centre had food supplies. The Yongsan Health centre has our supplies for this area. But they need a volunteer to go collect the supplies for this building, they are just calculating how much they would need and no one wants to go”

The people awkwardly shuffled, they were scared. Whether it was lack of sleep or because you felt like you had been freeloading on their supplies, you found yourself stepping forward to volunteer, “I can get the supplies” The man looked relieved handing you the suit. You looked at them and began putting it on, some people helped you. Looking out over the crowd you saw Jungkook and Hoseok the two looked confused for a second pointing at you before running off.

Assuming they were going to get your brother you quickly asked for a map of how to get there. They drew up a map and handed you a long-range walkie talkie. With a deep breath, you sealed the suit and started the breathing piece. It took a long time to get through the streets and you followed the instructions, it was going good until you came across something that wasn’t on the map. 

“Hello, this is y/n, I seem to have come across a small intersection that wasn’t on the map. There are two parallel streets going diagonal to my right. Is it the first or second street that I am supposed to take when turning right” you waited and there was no response. “Okay, can I ask that you put, mister y/l/n on the walkie talkie or even Kim Namjoon as I am comfortable talking with the two?”

“Hello, this is Kim Namjoon. Your brother is both pissed and restrained at the moment. How can I help?”  
“Okay the map says turn right but there are two streets to my right, can you tell me exactly which right am I to take the first or the second?”

“Uh… Okay, I will check the map for a second, Jimin, hold this?”

“Hello, friend” Jimin’s voice came through the radio

“Annyong, Jiminie. Eotteohge jinae?”

“Joh-eun”

“That’s good, I am just standing in the middle of the street, I am bored”

A sweet song came through the radio and you listened and felt your body swaying. His voice seemed to fog up your brain but it made you feel special that he was singing for you. Trying to ignore the discussion in the background on what street to take. You decided to just start walking. You were wasting time and the air filter. Trusting your gut you headed down the first and looked at the map if this was the case you would reach the centre on your right.

“That’s a really pretty song Jimin, what is it about?” Grinning as you had found the place, you listened to Jimin speak flustered. You stepped inside the building and handed over the form. They wheeled over a canvas wagon with a long handle, the whole thing was the size of a single bed and up to your hip.

“Uh, it is about my love for you” Your cheeks turned pink, “I can be uh… whatever Jimin you want me to be?”

“I want you to be you Jiminie, that’s the Jimin I like the best. The one that is real. Not filters but natural Jimin.” Turning to the people and asking specifically if they had any extra products that weren’t foodstuff and they looked at you, you did some bargaining and you left with a few extra things. Jimin had become too flustered and handed the walkie talkie to an equally flirty Seokjin.

“Hello, It is I handsome Jin. I am here to cure your loneliness” He said making an exaggerated kissing sound into the walkie talkie. You felt like the lack of sleep and the situation was making you goofier and more giggly. They sent you off, you pulled the wagon along it was heavy and you were getting more and more tired. It was hard to pull the wagon down the street and you were outside the building. 

“My loneliness is killing me, and I, I must confess that I still believe still believe”

“Ya! Spears! Britney Spears?” he laughed into the device as you rounded the corner walking down the main street the building insight.

“Okay hello again, we figured it out it is the first street,” Namjoon’s voice came through the walkie, laughing as you had already gotten back to the building. You pulled the wagon inside and everyone turned excited, some cheered and whistled while others were talking about the bravery of westerners. You pulled off the top of the suit taking in the open air, feeling a little dizzy. 

“Something tells me she already knows that Joonie,” Hoseok laughed patting your back, Namjoon sighed in relief. Almost tackled by your brother, you tried to stay upright while he looked you over for any injuries. He scolded you openly in front of everyone but you were too busy stepping out of the suit. Wrapping your arms around him, “You were scared I get it, but I am fine, relax it’s over”

Eating lunch, you finished quickly heading to the basement for a shower, wheeling a heavy wagon across the streets of Yongsan was tiring and left you sweaty. When you opened the door, however, you saw the glorious figure of Seokjin, he was not wearing a towel but was thankfully facing away from you. Apologising and shutting the door, your mind flooded with images of his shoulders. How could they be so wide you wanted to hug him, hold them in your hands and rest your head against them. 

He stepped out and grinned at your pink cheeks, He thought you looked cute all pink like that. Throwing you a wink as you ducked past him. The shower was perfect, your muscles relaxed and you were feeling cleaner already. Washing your hair, it sounded as if the door to the bathroom had opened but when you peaked your head out there was no one there. You continued showering, hearing the noise again. Again it was no one. 

You tried to ignore the noise, hearing it a few more times. Until Jimin’s voice called out. You only understood Jin’s name the word hurry and shower so you assumed he was complaining about how long Jin was in the shower for. Before you had a chance to respond he spoke again and the shower stall door pushed open. Jimin was staring at you shirtless. Having just enough time to wrap a towel around yourself you knew he had gotten a glimpse of your body. He was frozen staring back and forth between you and the bathroom and with one singular apology, he left the room. You quickly finished up getting dressed and went to the storage room to hang out your clothes. 

Taking the elevator upstairs you were walking back to b/n’s (brothers name) office. As you passed the Bangtan meeting room you heard laughing. You had missed Jimin’s recount of exactly what had transpired memories replayed in his head. He had given details about the way your hips curved and the likeliness of your breast feeling like soft pillows. You only heard him groan in what you thought was in embarrassment “I can’t look at her in the eye again?”

“It’s fine, so you saw her naked, Jin just said she saw him naked” You knocked on the door and Taehyung answered his face splitting into a boxy grin, his imagination working overtime with only what he had heard from Jimin.

“The shower is free, please tell Jimin it’s okay, I am not mad or anything” Sighing you gave a wave which he returned grabbing your hand and giving it a squeeze before walking away you heard laughing.

“She isn’t mad, maybe she likes you and that’s why she doesn’t care if you saw” Taehyung teased his friend. “She looked really tired?”  
“Yeah she hasn’t been sleeping” Yoongi added “On the plus side we don’t have to practice if there is no tour in the foreseeable future”

“And what if there is a cure tomorrow” You smile at the playful bickering but don’t stay any longer as you aren’t an eavesdropper” 

Stepping into b/n’s office you sat at his desk trying to find your favourite sleep music. Hoping that if you found it you might have a chance at sleeping. You spent hours trying to find it but couldn’t remember the name, only the picture. You gave up heading to dinner. You were dragged over by Taehyung to their table. He sat you across from Jimin trapped between Taehyung himself and Jungkook both amused. Eating together Yoongi asked you if you had managed to get some sleep and you shook your head and almost fell over.

“I guess I am a fussy sleeper, but I like when it is dark and there is like air moving across my face and there is this sleep music I use. It’s like one tone and it really helps me sleep” they listened, relaying their sleep habits.

“I like to sleep holding someone” Taehyung frowned “but the others don’t let me”

“If you need a cuddle buddy Tae, I like cuddles” you leaned over resting your head on his arm tired. His heart sped up and a few of them felt almost jealous at this statement. After dinner you walked upstairs going to try and sleep again, hoping that the adventure had tired you out. Reaching the top of the stairs, your head began to spin. Before you could topple over backwards you felt a hand on your back. Jungkook led you away from the stairs sliding his arm under yours and behind your back he watched your head fall forward. 

“Are you okay?” He caught you as your legs gave out and carried you in his arms. 

“I think she might have passed out,” Jungkook said as he stepped into the meeting room.

They walked over to see you asleep ahead resting against Jungkook’s chest. Clearing off the couch he lowered your body onto it. You looked so tiny in Jungkook’s arms and when they tucked you in, you curled up even smaller.

“Hmm with the light out the storage room is pitch black and I can see about the sound maybe her brother might know and I can recreate it” Yoongi hummed looking around at Jimin who gestured to the air purifier

“We have this, do you think that could work”

“That might work,” Namjoon said.

“Jungkook and I will carry her to the basement?” Hoseok said collecting some bedding and watching Jungkook carry your body against him to the service elevator.

“Words, I never thought I would hear from you?” Yoongi laughed. They laid out a futon and your sleeping bag and they positioned the air purifier so it would create a small breeze across your face. Your brother remembered the name of the music you listened to and they moved a set of speakers down to the basement and started playing it. The moment it played your body relaxed under the Sleeping bag and you rolled onto your stomach they left you to your peaceful sleep. 

It was refreshing. You were dreaming that you were walking next to someone but every time you looked over their face would change. It was a mix of all the bangtan boys. You woke confused, it was pitch black and you didn’t know where you were, that was until you caught a familiar scent. You moved across the room and turned on the light. Looking back you felt a warm sensation, the boys had done all this for you. Checking the time you had been asleep for several solid hours. 


	4. 21/03/2020

It was late in the morning, you had slept for twelve hours and felt ready to take on anything. Cleaning and sorting the storage room you had made a makeshift coffee table out of the top of a desk and strongboxes full of shredded paper. The room had almost become a little home for you. Deeming it time to venture into the world you decided to get dressed. Starting with the basics you picked out Koya character underwear which after a small discussion with a nameless employee on the third floor. You had figured out whose characters were whose. You had found a box labelled GFriend full of clothes that might actually fit you, dresses and skirts all in bags named. 

Rifling through some bags you found one labelled ‘ _Summer Rain’_. Opening it to find a bunch of beautiful white dresses. Slipping one of them -that looked about your size- over your head. It was adorable. Assuming that it was supposed to be an innocent flowing style. It seemed that your breasts were a little fuller than the person it had been intended for. At least that’s how it appeared in the small bathroom mirror. Not only was the bust fitted, but the skirt also raised slightly due to your hips and bottom, which must have been a little bigger as well. Meaning the dress only reached your mid-thigh. The fabric was made out of a stretchy material and all in all, it didn’t look small but rather perfectly cut for your body. 

Looking undeniably pretty, you found shoe boxes marked with the same name. Briefly hoping the owner didn’t get upset that you were borrowing their clothes. Inside the boxes were matching white heels. Slipping on a pair your first thought was how they were super comfy like standing on tiny pillows. Giving a spin for the mirror you thought something was definitely lacking. An outfit this cute deserved some makeup. Racing to grab the small BT21 makeup you had collected into a pile days previous. You began applying the BT21 makeup trying your best to style your hair with a few pins. At least half of you wanted to look good for the boys but the other half was doing this just for your own self-esteem.

Stepping back to get the full picture, your lips pulled up into a smile. Now you felt good. “You are pretty and you look cute and no one can make you think otherwise. You are special and one of a kind. I love you and that’s the only thing that matters, everything else is a bonus.” You will admit you had adopted this technique from Seokjin who complimented himself in the mirror after every shower. Taking a few Selfies or as the boys had taught you selca’s you got a text. From your brother.

**[Are you dead?]  
[What if I say yes?]  
[Seriously how long are you going to stay down there?]  
[I have just finished getting dressed]**

One last look in the mirror and you sighed, best not to keep b/n waiting. Running along the basement corridor, you took the elevator and headed up to the cafeteria hoping to catch a late breakfast or an early lunch. They said they would be serving lunch in an hour and handed you an apple apologetically. Thanking them genuinely, you enjoyed the crisp fruit whilst slowly strolling through the floors. That would hold you until then, you were never really big on breakfast anyway. Greeting some familiar faces. Familiar meaning: you had seen them in passing more than four times, yet you still didn’t know any of their names. Perhaps you should take some time for other people. You noticed most people were wearing weird tracksuits while their clothes were being washed. Considering yourself lucky to have a secret stash of clothes. 

Continuing on the journey to the dance practice room wanting to have some fun. The full night sleep gave you so much energy. No one was inside, looking at the schedule on the door. It would be empty for half an hour. Plenty of time. 

The floorboards made a familiar sound as you crossed and seeing yourself in full in the mirror on the walls made you smile throwing up a peace sign. This was all nostalgic and had you reliving long nights in the studio dancing routines over and over. Plugging your phone into the stereo you searched for an old dance playlist, once found you selected a warm-up song. It was one you always used. An old routine you performed your stretches to targeting your arms back and legs. The bridge hit and your body was warm and buzzing ready to start a dance. Quickly switching to something a little more upbeat, you began another familiar routine. Dancing hit after hit until your brother stepped into the room. Pausing you turned to him getting ready to pack up and leave. 

“Keep going, we don’t start for another five minutes” he gestured as he went over to your phone, his students stepped in. Filing in one after the other you stopped dancing feeling that it would be time for you to leave “Hey, you remember the routine to this one?”

B/n played you something that had your muscles moving before you could control it, “Yeah! There you go!” He paused the music “you kids want to see the masters at work?”

“Your old teacher, save it” The kids laughed. It must have been pretty hard being stuck in the building away from their families.  
“That sounds like a challenge, brother, let’s show these kids how it’s done!” the kids laughed oohing and causing a general commotion from the back of the room. Nodding to your brother who set up a camera hitting record. You did a couple of last-minute stretches as the music started. He joined you for the dance and you watched the kids’ mouths fall open. 

(I made this Gif from a 1million dance studio video the dance is ‘sorry, not sorry’)

The kids seemed to enjoy it. Each one looked more energized and ready to dance. Grabbing your things and heading out of the room with a wave. You checked the door for the next empty spot but decided to just take a picture of the schedule. Feeling like you were up in the clouds as you were skipping down the hallway. Giddy from your first real dance in a long time, in front of a crowd too. 

Spinning as you went, not noticing Hoseok step out of the elevator until the last minute. Trying to stop, digging your feet into the ground, torso flying forward. Toppling over him, you worried about Hoseok. Slipping your hand behind his head and tilting your knees out to avoid his crotch area seconds before you landed. You didn’t want to be the reason the guy couldn’t have children. But in doing this you were now chest to chest while straddling him. 

“Nice underwear,” Namjoon whistled. Squealing and rolling off of Hoseok you pulled the back of the dress down. Mortified beyond belief you flopped back onto the ground and covered your eyes, feeling someone stepping over you, voice calling from above. “Come on don’t be shy, it’s cute that you are wearing our underwear?”

“You know it’s not by choice” hands pried your arms away from your face. Revealing Namjoon who squatted over you one of his boots either side of your waist. Tilting his head to the side, looking down at your figure before actually helping you up. 

“Miss y/l/n” a soft voice spoke, Namjoon turned, stepping back so you could see around his towering form at a young teenage boy his English was broken but adorable “you left your headphones on the stereo, and um… your dance was amazing”

“Thank you” reaching out to grab the headphones, a hand grabbed them before you. Namjoon thanked the boy rather seriously, his face looked a little much. The boy ran off, turning to the guys curiously, “he must be nervous around big stars like you guys”

“Yeah that was definitely why he ran away” Jin rolled his eyes. Watching Namjoon hand you the headphones with a smile. The boys were so nice to their fans and strangers. It was nice to see celebrities who didn’t let the fame get to their heads.

“Y/n I am bored, can we play a game?” Taehyung wrapped his arms around you, his head resting on your shoulder. With anyone else, you would question what exactly this meant but you knew it didn’t mean anything romantically inclined. The boys were just super friendly and being quarantined in a building together, they didn’t have many people their age who don’t already work for them to make friends with. You had seen the way they were treated it was all business, every time they tried to approach someone their first words were, ‘what do you need?’ ‘how can I help?’ Not that they didn’t hang out with other employees. You were different from the others, a friend, at least you hoped they thought of you as a friend.

“There is a board game in the basement we can bring upstairs. If we look around there might be other games down there as well,” accompanied by Taehyung and Hoseok the two were excited to explore the basement some more. 

You were shuffling through the pile for the board game you had placed there a day or two ago when you heard Hoseok laughing, “Hey Tae look what I found” glancing over your shoulder thinking it might have been another board game, your blood ran cold however when he held up a small box. It was from the bag of things you had requested from the supply centre.

“Ah wait no, those are mine” launching across the room and snatching it from Hoseok.   
“Yours, oh… I’m sorry” Hoseok stopped lost in thought, he felt a little upset that you hadn’t told them you were taken. Worried he might think you were someone you were not, you stammered out an explanation. He watched your mouth open and close for a few seconds and he chuckled. He liked when you were flustered, he didn’t know why but it was endearing.

“Well they aren’t all mine” You clarified and his eyebrows pulled together confused, “I asked the supply people to throw them in, in case anyone was getting a little intimate, but I forgot to hand them over”  
Taehyung snatched the box from behind your back, “it’s open, have you been using them?” He waved the box at you laughing. 

“No, I asked them to mix and match sizes and styles. So we opened some other packets and got a bunch of different sizes and styles and put them back inside that box. The green ones are latex-free, I don’t know what people prefer and it would suck getting intimate and then realizing that you don’t have your size”

“Hey, they have our size in here” Taehyung grinned held up a foil packet and you wished you hadn’t noticed the XL on the blue square because now it haunted you. You knew when night came and you were trying to sleep, all you will be able to think about is their sizes. “Jin, Namjoon and I are the same so that’s good” 

“Cool…” You mumbled confused on what an appropriate response to that statement would be. Had he not realised you were right there? He noticed your odd expression and lent down wiggling his eyebrows.   
“You don’t believe me?” 

Clearing your throat and trying to snatch the box back. He was quick, taking a few from the box. Before reaching up to place it on top of the lockers against the wall. “When you need them just ask and we will get them down for you?” He winked. Hoseok was laughing at your expression and the two grinned, distributing condoms between them. 

“Or if you need them a little urgently you can always come to see us directly we will make sure to give the other boys some too,” Hoseok said feigning seriousness. What did this mean? This couldn’t be an invitation. They were celebrities and you were no one. It wasn’t like that, they were just friendly and playful. Reminding yourself once more that you wouldn’t even talk to each other if not for the quarantine and you knew they had been hanging out with a few other employees so you weren’t special. Hoseok smiled holding the board game and Taehyung had found a stack of regular playing cards and you followed the boys out of the room. 

Pouting the whole way down the corridor and following them into the elevator. The journey to the cafeteria felt like it took forever. Over lunch, you started a game of monopoly. People came to watch the game each finding the ordeal very amusing as this was the only source of entertainment lately. Jungkook won causing the other boys to groan. The group started packing up ready to head upstairs. You went to escape, thinking of stealing a ladder from the maintenance room and getting the box down when Jungkook placed his arm around you. Saying you were his trophy and leading you away.

Jungkook walked you straight into their meeting room “what should we play now?”  
“Poker,” Slipping out from under Jungkook’s arm and racing behind Taehyung. You reached into his back pockets. His eyes went wide, “and we are playing with these” you pulled the foil packets from Taehyung’s back pocket and threw them on the coffee table they all stared at them “Hoseok you too?”

He raised his hands in surrender pulling out the rest from his pocket, after sorting them and giving each coloured packet a price the game began. Being good at bluffing the only person who was a challenge was Yoongi who gave nothing away. The game was lengthy and you watched the boys nervously eyeing the packets as they each lost. Everyone was out except Namjoon and yourself. Currently playing all-in, you had a straight and was feeling pretty good though you bit your lip in feigned nervousness trying to bluff Namjoon who was playing numbers and odds in his head.

“Okay, I’m all in,” Namjoon said looking up with a smile. You hated that smile it meant he knew he won the round. The others looked nervous at their leader huddled around his shoulders.   
“come on you got to win them back,” Jimin said with a look of desperation that had you curious, who were they planning to sleep with that they needed condoms anyway.

Showing your cards, Namjoon grinned revealing his much better hand taking the collection. They cheered and you hummed “alright you are making me desperate, I will play my secret stash” you reached down the neck of the dress into your bra and between the fabric were the soft cup sat you pulled out a ‘for her’ studded and ribbed condom. Hesitating you stared at the pretty pink foil packaging it was the only one of its kind in this building. “And if you take this from me I am going to be pissed”

You threw it onto the table and Namjoon’s mouth split as they examined the packet, Hoseok read it out loud and they deliberated and nodded placing it on the table. “Alright, love one last game” Namjoon grinned running his thumb under his bottom lip gazing at you amused as Yoongi dealt the cards.


	5. 22/03/2020

Yoongi grinned while shuffling and dealing the cards, his long fingers moving quickly. He liked to see you like this, desperate. Tongue swiping along his bottom lip. Wondering what you would look like begging for him to use that pink condom. Noticing your face as you checked your hand. Your eyes narrowed slightly in disgust; he knew you had shitty cards. Leaning over he looked at Namjoons, giving nothing away. You weren’t going to win this but you began your bluff anyway, you tried not to make it visible that you were sweating. Namjoon was confident and if he was honest a little bit aroused from the power he had in a simple game of poker. He called for you to show your hand and beat your pair with a flush. 

“Ah, the sweet, sweet victory” he took all the ‘chips’ and the boys began distributing their shares. Jungkook picked up the one you had been saving and saw the way you stared at it. He almost laughed that one could get so emotional over a condom. Handing it back to you fingers brushing your palm. 

“We won’t take away your prize possession, plus we don’t need any help in the bedroom” he gave a bunny smile. Seokjin nodded agreeing with Jungkook’s statement if you thought a textured piece of plastic would help you in the bedroom then you clearly had a sad sex life. Not only did he pride himself on his looks he knew he was great in bed. He wasn’t as domineering or rough as some of the others but he was an expert at deep pleasure. 

You kissed the packet and slipped it back in your bra not noticing that all eyes were on you. Determining that you had to be classified as one of the boys, a friend. They couldn’t see you as a woman, especially if they were so comfortable talking about this with you. Crushing the tiny feeling of disappointment, because you didn’t actually like them that way either. At least that’s what you were telling yourself, surely if you kept saying it, you might believe it and then you wouldn’t get hurt. You started a game of solitaire, with the hope to erase all these thoughts from your mind. 

This was dangerous territory, none of them had anticipated getting this involved with you and as each day passed they were finding it more and more difficult to think of excuses to not pursue you. They watched you tuck your hair behind your ear, biting your lip as you concentrated on your card game. They were pulled from their thoughts and imagination by a knock at the door. Jungkook used it as an excuse to distance himself from you, he pulled the door open.

“B/n, what brings you here?”  
“We have all been taking turns with the cleaning of the building tonight would you be okay with doing the serving and dishes” your brother spoke beside him was the boy’s manager who was checking up on them, he was a kind-looking man who looked like he was under a lot of pressure. 

“Sure,” Namjoon said volunteering his group.   
“I can help too” you smiled as the manager’s eyes landed on you and then scanned each boy’s face. They all looked guilty, you thought it was because they shouldn’t have female friends in case of a scandal. You made a mental note to explain there was nothing going on to ease his stress. He sighed leading you all to the cafeteria. 

Eating early, you got ready to work. The boys were halved, the older four were on serving duty, the younger three and yourself were on dish duty. The kitchen was big and had two deep tubs and a sprayer that hung above the sink from the overhead rack. You each wrapped yourselves in aprons. Hoseok stepped behind you to help secure yours, he took the cords of fabric and pulled you towards him. He kept luring you in, you stepped back until you felt his chest against yours, able to hear his shallow breathing. He twisted the cords, pulling them together, you gasped at the feeling.

“That’s not too tight y/n?” He sounded different, there were no silly voices or amusing tones, no he was serious and the sound had you pressing your thighs subtly together. Breathless you confirmed that it was perfect, he secured the ties and smoothed his hands down the side of the apron. “There now you can protect your pretty dress”

You spent your time scraping plates clean, humming to yourself and dancing. The boys started fighting over the sink sprayer. Rolling your eyes at the pair you continued working this wasn’t something you needed to get into. Even if they were so cute playfully arguing. Jungkook splashed Jimin and the two got into a water fight. You watched the two drenching each other. Shirts stuck to their arms, the muscles rolling and tensing with every movement. The way the water clung to their hair weighing it down making it stick to their foreheads. Jimin with his continuous need to rub his hands through his hair, brought with it mouthwatering imagery of it slicked back. Scolding yourself for the impure thoughts. 

“Guys that’s enough we are almost done, seriously. You are such children just give it up”

“We are not” they hissed. They went back to work continuing washing the last of the dishes. Wondering what happened after quarantine; they hadn’t even asked to exchange numbers if that wasn’t an indicator of how much you actually meant to them you didn’t know what was. 

“These are the last dishes?” Taehyung put them in the sink, whispering to the boys his eyes on you. Rolling your eyes as they sprayed him and he flinched away. “Keep yourself away from perverted thoughts” You all finished the dishes and the others had packed up the leftovers. Jimin served everyone Hotteok for dessert. It was a fluffy warm Korean pancake. 

You dried your hands frowning at how wrinkly they had become in the water. “Jin I’m so old” you held your hands out to him. The laugh you managed to pull from his chest was something you would treasure. You thought you heard Namjoon whisper something to Hoseok who made an appreciative noise. Both staring at you. 

“We got permission to have a bottle of soju each and a Makgeolli to share” Jin grinned pouring everyone a glass, they taught you a drinking game, and you taught them one that you knew. 

There was a game that had you laughing loudly Seokjin paused walking around the small table and grabbed you by the shoulders you could barely hold yourself up from the joy “Ya! Ya!” He spoke quickly in Korean and when Namjoon calmed down enough he explained. 

“He says that people say his laugh is like windshield wipers but yours is like a squeaky toy” You covered your mouth cheeks turning red. 

Hoseok had stopped drinking, declaring he was getting too drunk, Taehyung winced and whined every time he drank. Suggesting you move the drinking to the basement. You took some of the promotional soda’s from a box and mixed Taehyung’s drinks for him, so they would taste a little sweeter. He seemed to enjoy it greatly. They all fell asleep and you sighed realising there was no way you could move them. Turning on your music and the air purifier, you laid down on the futon. Only to be grabbed by Taehyung who pulled you against his chest, you tried your best to get comfortable. 

He was asleep but he tended to make deep sounds, the kind reserved for adult bedroom activities. Namjoon had moved Yoongi from the floor onto the couch and gave a soft sigh, “can I lay beside you?”

“Of course” you lifted the sleeping bag “The blanket is a bit short so you might have to get close”

He laid with his back against yours and you smiled about to drift off when you heard. 

“I feel sick” Taehyung groaned. How is it this man could make anything seem so cute? You would think all his whining would become annoying but it was endearing. His hair was stuck to his forehead and he was frowning, sitting up immediately you tried to guide Taehyung from the room. Leading him to the bathroom where he sat leaning over the toilet. He was whining and you rubbed his back. He didn’t manage to vomit so you decided to help him stand and head back to bed but when he pulled himself upright, he vomited down the white dress you were wearing. 

“I am sorry,” he sniffed, getting upset and you laughed carefully, removing the dress and using the sleeve to wipe his mouth.  
“Don’t be sorry, it’s not my dress. Are you feeling better?” He vomited again but you had managed to turn him to the sink in time. Rubbing his back patiently until he stopped vomiting you helped him remove his shirt and pants.

“Hajimaaaaa…What are you doing?”   
“You are going for a shower, okay? You accidentally got vomit on your shirt and pants.”

“Oh okay, I thought you were trying to kiss me” He giggled at the idea. It made him smile. He bet you tasted sweet, he knew kissing you would cure the sick feeling in his stomach and the ache in his head. He had been imagining how soft your lips would feel against his ever since he watched you dance. He pulled you under the shower with him and you both sat while he held you in his arms. 

“No, I wouldn’t kiss you” You laughed reminding yourself that they were being friendly. That they were celebrities and they were stuck in quarantine for a week. It meant nothing.

“Why not?”  
“Cause you just vomited Tae”   
“So you would kiss me if I didn’t vomit?”  
“Sure would buddy, now into the shower”  
“But I am still wearing my underwear”  
“Yes because I don’t want to see you naked”

“No fair you saw Jin naked, why don’t I get to be naked” he gently played with the little heart charm on your bra.  
“Taehyung, listen I saw jin naked by accident. If I see you naked then everyone will want me to see them naked” He nodded seeming to understand that logic.

“You are so pretty, but you need to take those off” he pointed at your underwear and your cheeks lit up. “You should wear TATA underwear instead”  
“Okay when we are finished I will change into TATA underwear how does that sound”

You seemed to lose him in a string of Korean and he was singing to you asking you questions that you couldn’t answer. And he was upset. He told you he loved you yet you didn’t answer. He called you beautiful and whispered sweet nothings and you didn’t even smile. He felt his heartbreaking a little. But he couldn’t bring himself to hate you for it because he would make you love him just as you made him love you. You kept speaking in your funny foreign language and he thought it was cute, but he wished he knew what you were saying. He didn’t know that the feeling was mutual and you had no clue what he was saying either.

Wrapping him up and with as much skill as you could, you dressed him behind his towel. You led him back to bed and you grabbed some clothes and got changed. Jungkook walked in and froze. Your back was to him and you were wearing nothing but TATA underwear “Why does it smell? did you vomit, do you need water or something. Do you have enough clothes?”

“Tae vomited all over the bathroom and myself then got super flirty in the shower” 

You laughed wiggling a hoodie over your head and down your body. Jungkook wrapped his arms around you from behind. He buried his nose deep in your hair. You smelt like strawberries and cream, and that was much better than the smell coming from the bathroom. He wanted you, tonight, tomorrow, maybe a little more. But he couldn’t have you. Not in any way meaningful, they were allowed one night stands but if that happened you had to sign a nondisclosure agreement. The problem was one night stands by the company were just that. One night. they could never have you again. 

The idea to say fuck it and have you was killing him, his pants tightened this was going to make it hard to pee. But the idea of having you near was worth more than a night of drunken pleasure. He liked the way you smiled, the way you reprimanded them the way you weren’t afraid of anything. Hell, you had ventured out onto the streets through poisonous chemicals to retrieve supplies. You were badass and he actually enjoyed talking with you, your thoughts could get pretty wild like Taehyung. You had a full twenty-minute conversation over lunch about if this became a zombie apocalypse how you would survive. 

He let you go. It was simultaneously the worst and best thing watching you walk away leaving him alone in the bathroom. You had to walk away. Your resolve was weakening. Jungkook had felt so nice wrapped around you and a second longer and you might have started something you would both regret in the morning. Stepping into the storage room, you saw Taehyung had spread out on the futon and you sighed moving the air purifier across the room to Jimin’s futon. Where you had noticed he had a little room. Hoping he didn’t mind you laid down in front of him, your back facing him. He untucked the blanket and swooped it over you, his muscular arm locking around your waist before he pulled you back until you were against his chest. 

He was too tired, to do any more than this. You felt so warm and soft, fitting perfectly in his arms. Not only were you an amazing dancer, but you also were funny and kind and you understood him, the two of you just meshed so well. You were flirty and yet shy and he had never met a girl that was more perfect for him. He could tell the others liked you too but he was ready to fight and protect you. He wouldn’t let them think about hurting you. He settled back to sleep, his plush lips gently pressed against your exposed neck as you slept. His dreams were filled with lazy mornings waking up beside you and hot nights worshipping your body. You were drifting off to sleep once more when one of the boys farted across the room, you were too tired to even be bothered. Thank god for the air purifier.


	6. 23/03/2020

With the room pitch black, the constant noise and the help of being intoxicated, the boys slept in a little later. It was like their bodies finally allowed them to relax. Of course, Hoseok still woke first as he was used to waking up early. Making his way through the dark, standing on both Jungkook and Seokjin before he made it even halfway to the door. He went on to the bathroom to wash up, glad he had stopped drinking when he did. The bathroom had a lingering acid smell that he knew was most likely from someone vomiting last night. He hoped it wasn’t you not liking the idea of seeing you in pain. 

The sound of the water rushing through the pipes helped hold you in your sleep state. Dreaming, yet you could class it as a borderline nightmare. The quarantine had been lifted and the boys walked out of the building, not looking back at you no matter how loudly you called for them, they didn’t turn around. You watched them talk about the quarantine on a talk show. “Did you make any friends on quarantine? I heard you were stuck in the big hit building with some of the national dance teams who were working on a project for the festival later this year”

“No it was quiet and boring, we had to deal with a lot of awkward encounters people want to talk to us and we just had to smile and agree. You know stay civil for the days”

They each took turns in the shower and by this point, you were trying to cling onto the last piece of sleep you had trying to turn the dream around to something positive. “Don’t go you” Jimin’s arm paused, still wrapped around you from the night, “I don’t want to wake up yet”

Softly laughing and nuzzling his nose into your hair he agreed. “Okay we can sleep a little more”

You were drifting in and out of consciousness when he slowly tried to slip away from you again. The cold air creeping in under the sleeping bag you were both using as a blanket. Rolling over you hugged his middle tightly the scent of citron, jasmine and teal wood, taking over your senses. It was familiar somehow. “Noooo, I don’t want to get up,” the boys had just met you again after the quarantine at a fan sign. But they didn’t seem to recognise you smiling and asking about your day calling you cute and holding your hand. 

“You are so cute,” Laughing the boys watched, amused by your adorable antics, wanting nothing more than to lay in bed with you. They contemplated it. You were ever so tempting and looked so soft and tiny. The way your hair looked so fluffy falling into your eyes no matter how hard Jimin tried to brush it out of the way. It was yet another thing Jimin could add to the list of things he truly loved about you. And he didn’t use the word love lightly, but the way your hair cascaded like a waterfall over your face when you looked down. The way it felt so soft in his hands was so different from his own hair which felt super wiry and straw-like compared. What else could he call it except love, it made his heart all warm and his body melt. 

“Come on let’s get breakfast, even Yoongi is up right now” Jimin tried his best to be happy. He threw you a smile and grabbed your hands. 

“I will get up on one condition,” trying not to look disappointed by the way he smiled and held your hands the same way in your dream. Curious as to what the familiar smell was. Letting Jimin sit you up, he got up off the floor after detangling your limbs from around him. You watched him leave his thighs at eye level as he walked past.

“And what is that?” Namjoon asked looking over his phone, where he had been sending an important email and brainstorming lyrics. He saw you posing cutely with your arms out as if you were asking for a hug.

“After breakfast, it’s straight back to cuddles” 

“We have dance practice,” Hoseok said bluntly regretting it immediately as he didn’t expect you to get so disappointed. Feeling like he just kicked a puppy. Your cute smile fell along with your arms, he watched the hope fade from your eyes.

“And songwriting,” Yoongi added, drying his hair walking in from his shower. You hated how soft he looked with his messy hair. You knew they had to be busy, they were international superstars but did they really not get the choice to just take a day off. Or maybe your dream was right and they didn’t want to take a day off with you. 

“One day please” Pressing your hands together but they didn’t look like they would crack. And to be honest, the way they stared at you with their blank faces had you reliving how little you meant to them in your dream. Letting your hands drop onto your lap once more. Maybe you weren’t even a friend like you had thought. The only reason they were talking to you was because of the quarantine. It was time you let them go before you get too attached and give them the power to hurt you. “Okay, it’s fine. You guys are really busy it’s selfish for a random person you meet trying to stop you doing your job”

“Hey you’re not random you’re our friend,” Hoseok said but no one seemed to back him up so you guessed it was fan service, like when singers at their concerts say that every town they visit is the best town.

“Even so, I really shouldn’t stop you.” Standing and turning your back to them to search through the boxes of girls’ clothes, it was an excuse to hide your tears.

“What happened to your dress?” Jimin asked, stepping back inside his face and hair damp from his quick shower.

“Tae vomited on me last night” Your voice was clipped not trusting yourself to elaborate further encase the emotion bled through. Appearing to be seriously comparing the colours and fabrics of two shirts they excused themselves. Knowing they didn’t like you like that. There was no one to impress. 

“That’s what the smell in the bathroom was, we should go to get breakfast, do you want us to get you something while you get dressed?”

“No. That’s okay I won’t be too long” they filed out of the room and you let your shoulders sink. You hadn’t wanted to believe it was true but you knew this relationship was all in your head. You were just a fanatic pretending like you played an important role in their life. 

Deciding on a black pair of sweatpants, and crop top with a built-in bra, you decided to wash your undergarments. Wearing your clean and folded underwear you washed the clothes you had been wearing including your brassier. You skipped breakfast. Travelling up the stairs hoping to go to the roof, where you could feel like you had some escape. The door, however, was unfortunately locked. So it was back to aimlessly wandering the building, you bumped into a young woman. She was wearing an awkward tracksuit like everyone else. 

She looked stressed, the quarantine was getting to her. Arms filled with files and her hair dishevelled. You smiled introducing yourself. She told you her name was Areum. Helping carry the files. It didn’t take much to make friends, proper friends that talked to you and exchanged numbers after a while and clicked with you easily. Maybe the reason they are called the bulletproof Boy Scouts is that they have a ten-foot wall of bulletproof glass stopping anyone from getting close. 

Helping out where you could around Areum’s office. Making coffee and collecting the printed documents, you even carried files and folders up to the fancy sixth floor. The men up there were a little handsy but you were able to dodge and deflect their questions and wandering eyes. Feeling useful again, but one hundred percent of you was keeping busy trying to forget about them. The keyword being trying. The day passed and you hadn’t seen the boys since that morning. Not wanting to risk seeing them at dinner you headed to bed early, opening the basement door they had moved their things back, the room seemed so empty. 

Trying and failing to stop the tears running down your face. The pain of all those raw feelings and emotions, all those deep and meaningful conversations you had late at night. All the touches and hugs and smiles that were so very genuine for you but clearly meant nothing for them. The empty room was an accurate representation of how you will be left when they are gone. Telling yourself that there were only two more days. The space filled with the ghosts of them, you laid on the ground pretending Jimin’s arms were around you and Taehyung’s deep sighs filled the room. Two days and you could rebuild your life as if you had never met the idols. Or so you thought. 

An alert the next morning announced the quarantine was being extended as the virus can sometimes take a few weeks to actually show symptoms. They extended quarantine for FOUR more weeks. Deciding to get comfortable in your space downstairs you spent the day entirely alone cleaning and sorting it top to bottom. 

You emerged from the basement only to collect meals. Like some goblin in your cave. It had been two days since the morning you realised it was all a lie. You had given clothes to your new friend Areum. Walking to breakfast you saw everyone had gathered once more. They were making a list of supplies to receive from the Yongsan health centre. They saw you, beaming beckoning you over holding up the suit excited. Assuming this meant you were ‘volunteering’ once more, you used it as an excuse to leave the building and pretend to be free. Two whole days. Since you had seen the boys. Since you genuinely laughed since you ate in the cafeteria. Two days since you had become numb. 

You suited up, contemplating just leaving for another building. Not noticing the boys or pretending they weren’t there, watching you from the back of the room. Scolding yourself for the bubbling of hope in your chest every time you saw them. You were doing your best. You heard Hoseok call your name but didn’t turn. Shuffling out the door and onto the street, you saw another biohazard suit returning with a wagon of supplies. You waved and they gave you a warning in broken English, something about bad men with guns. The warmth from the sun filtered through the visor of the suit was almost as good as the real thing warming your skin. How long could you avoid them? You were testing that theory. 

Namjoon’s voice came over the Walkie Talkie and you almost tripped, catching yourself on a street sign. “Your brother will kill you if he finds out you have left again” His deep voice held slight amusement. You kept walking, wheeling the empty wagon behind you. You had been successfully refusing to see them because you knew the moment you did they would pull you back in with their smiles and fan service. You weren’t going to see them after the quarantine so it’s best to prepare yourself. You wondered if they started to notice. The way you took away your meals from the cafeteria, the way you hid when you saw them in the halls.

“Hey, you all good? Y/n please respond?” His voice was a little more concerned “y/n respond now or we will send someone out after you”  
“I will go out” Yoongi’s voice was far away and barely registered on the radio device but you caught it. He had a certain drawl you could recognise anywhere. 

“Don’t send anyone” You tried to keep your voice even, you didn’t want to sound like you cared. Keep them at a distance. Don’t get attached.   
“Oh thank god, why didn’t you answer?”  
“I am busy”

You stepped into the health centre and pulled off your mask, smiling politely at the people and you started talking about the supplies. You asked for a few extra supplies. Hoping you could take them to your basement and make your own meals. Thus eliminating the need to leave. They were pretty firmly against it until you complained that your foreign palate needed something plain. They threw in some extra foodstuff and you slipped them on the inside the backpack you were wearing. You pulled the head of the suit back on securing it. Pulling the wagon along you navigated the foggy streets and saw the BigHit building insight. 

There was a noise nearby it wasn’t the soundless breather this was a loud noise oxygen tank and a radio. Namjoon’s voice came through your radio, “what is your location?” You froze hearing the cock of a gun. You switched off your radio and quietly pulled your wagon moving fast as you could down the street. You were trying to see through the fog, looking behind you while going to step up onto the gutter. You were outside the building and you saw The boys looking out the glass beside your brother, Seokjin waved smiling. Your foot slipped. Falling forward and hitting the visor on the ground, there was a large chunk missing in the face of the suit. Taking a deep breath. You pulled the wagon dragging it to the door. Knocking your fist against it as they unlocked it. Eyes burning from the chemicals in the air. Rushing inside, the wagon in tow, you ripped off the head of the suit which had filled up with the poisons in the air. Gasping on your hands and knees.

“Water!” A bottle of water was thrust into view which you tipped over your face, washing out your eyes and the fumes off your skin. You laid on the floor. The man gave you a thumbs up which definitely would have been funny if this traumatic near-death experience hadn’t been so fresh in your mind. Brushing past everyone and beelining to the service elevator and heading to the basement. Stripping off your clothes in the bathroom your body feeling warm and itchy. 

Sitting on the shower floor emotions spilling over like the water overhead. You had missed dinner. The idea that you could have died gave you a sense of lacking. What had you done with your life? You had only just recently decided to get back into dancing. But that meant nothing as of yet, you had no friends having lost them all well before the quarantine. The last man in your life was three years ago. Others were getting married and settling down with children or becoming managers or successful business owners and you were stuck free-loading in your brother’s workplace.

This wouldn’t do. It was time to take a stand and make something with your life. Dried and dressed you asked your brother for the key to the dance studio. He nodded handing it over the dance teams were done for the day. Setting up the camera and plugging in your headphones as it was not appropriate to play loud music this late at night. You danced with everything you had. You brought up old routines, famous routines, audition pieces everything from hip hop, break dancing, ballet, tap, jazz, contemporary. The fire didn’t dim from your eyes and you didn’t lose any momentum each move precise. You didn’t want to feel regret like you did today, you didn’t want to think back on your last moments and wish you had done something more.

There was no rest, you sharpened each kick and turn you hit every beat. There was something fulfilling about going one hundred percent. You felt the music pulse through you. Your brothers figure in the corner. It was then you noticed the sun was coming up your sweat became a visible sheen on your skin. You refused to finish before the music stopped taking every last moment to show how much you were worth and how determined you were. The last spin you planted your foot down holding yourself in position unwavering. No matter how much your muscles and lungs were screaming you held your position until the music faded. The Bangtan Boys at some point had stepped into the room ready for their practice. Standing near your brother watching you. Your clothes were drenched. Letting your hands slowly relax to your sides you turned off the music noticing your phone was dangerously low on battery.

Stopping the recording your brother seem horrified “Have you been practising all night, you know how bad that is for you right?” You grinned at him slapping his arm as you left.

“Annyong” Jimin smiled giving you a wave, you walked straight past refusing to acknowledge the boys. Now wasn’t the time to feel guilty, they weren’t your friends. Rounding the corner you were gasping for oxygen like a dancer holding all emotions, pain and suffering until the moment you could finally step off the stage. Your muscles were ready to give out. Grabbing the wall as you walked along everything was on fire. Hoseok walked out of the elevator he spotted you limping, asking if you were okay. You ignored him but he followed you down to the basement. You took a small rectangle plastic tub one might use to store clothes or shoes in and sat inside. The sides came up to your underarms and your legs hung over the end. Still clothed you turned the shower on straight cold and letting it hit your muscles. He left. releasing a sigh tilting your head back. For a second it seemed like he was concerned but his fame came first so he must have gone upstairs to dance practice. You would be lying if you said it didn’t hurt there was a burn in your throat and a stinging in your eyes. You laid your head back tears escaping.

Hoseok returned with a bag full of ice packs and he froze. Biting his lip and walking over he placed the icepacks into the water on your arms and legs he held them there numbing the pain. His hands started massaging your muscles pressing the ice packs into the skin. “Your brother said you were dancing all night, you are lucky I am friends with everyone on staff, I had to raid the infirmary and the kitchens for all these ice bricks”

“Shouldn’t you be dancing?” You shivered, starting to feel the numbness reach your aching joints. “I know how important your work is too you”  
Hoseok noticed the acid in your words and looked at you in disbelief. “Is this what this is all about because we had to work and couldn’t hang out with you”

“No, it’s about you guys pretending we are friends when we are not. You know for a fact if it wasn’t for this quarantine we would have never met, you would never talk to me or give a crap about how I feel”

“You really think that low of us” he laughed but it wasn’t the light-hearted playful giggle that made everyone feel at ease, this was scornful, almost mocking this was Hoseok’s version of the middle finger. He took your hand and slapped the icepack into your palm walking out. “I guess we weren’t friends after all”


	7. 24/03/2020

You had a major major breakdown. Why did it hurt so bad? Was it the disappointment on Hoseok’s face? You crawled out of your makeshift tub and wrapped yourself in a towel. Slipping on clean underwear and a hoodie you trudged back into your little home if you will. Eyes which were swollen and red from your tears becoming heavy. The door to the storage room opened, there in the doorway stood Taehyung “Annyong,” his deep tone filled the room as you watched his tiny gestures. He had wrapped himself in his blanket and hugged his pillow. 

“What is it,” You were finding it hard to be blunt with him as he was so gentle and innocent. He was a fully matured young man, he had his moments of perversion or pranks but overall he didn’t have a malicious bone in his body. 

“Can I sleep beside you?” Nodding too exhausted and sad to say no. He shut the door and waddled over, laying down beside you and making himself comfortable. After a few minutes of fluffing his pillow and removing your blanket and laying his bigger blanket over you both. Despite the extra room his blanket gave, he pulled you close wrapping his arms around you. You fit perfectly in his arms, letting out an audible whine as your breasts felt so soft behind your hoodie. He tried to think about other things like his favourite painter’s while singing under his breath anything to distract from your presence. The plain vanilla scent that emanated from your skin had him pressing his nose to your neck. 

Every time you started to fall asleep he would moan your name and hug you tighter. Only settling when you wrapped him in your arms. His face up close was so inhuman, his sharp jaw and angular nose, the ratios between his eyes nose and lips were perfect, the symmetry everything. It was too good to be true. His personality was so gentlemanly as well it was like he just stepped out of a romance novel. Not the fifty shades kind where they have a haunting and mysterious backstory no this was the kind that is always there and the female lead doesn’t notice how good he is until the end and everything has a happy end.

Except this wasn’t the case, there was no love story here. People as perfect and gentle as Taehyung, they end up with; kind, generous and drop-dead gorgeous people. Even you wanted that for him. When you finally managed to fall asleep you were trapped in some romcom nightmare. Where your hunky neighbour and best friend Taehyung was trying to get you to fall in love with him. You had given in towards the end when he had saved your life in the dream. Taehyung lent in to kiss you, however, an inch away he pulled back and it was actually Hoseok. He looked at you in disgust and hurt. “I guess we weren’t friends after all”

Ripped from your dream with a jolt you accidentally startled Taehyung. It was useless to try to get out of his grip, you were supposed to be forgetting about them. You weren’t supposed to be worrying about Taehyung’s need for skinship and you definitely weren’t supposed to be hung up on Hoseok who was all you could think about. Him repeating those words ‘I guess we weren’t friends after all’.

“I missed you, why have you been hiding from us?” Taehyung hummed, finally addressing the subject of your disappearance the days prior. His hands slid up under your hoodie and his soft fingertips drew soft circles on your back. You don’t know if Taehyung knew the things he did were very romantic gestures one might do with a lover. Or if he just did whatever he wanted because it felt nice. You didn’t stop his gentle caress’ it felt too amazing on your jelly-like muscles. Instead, you pretended not to particularly enjoy the time you spent with him. Not saying anything that could ruin his innocent and happy bubble so early in the morning. 

“Tae I have to go for a shower,” You thought this time a hot shower was needed, your muscles were in quite a bad way. The journey to the bathroom and shower and the actions required to get there and undress seemed both impossible and daunting. 

“No don’t leave, I want to hug you” Did he not realise he was already hugging you? Your resolve wavered for a moment with the idea that maybe you could let him in and be nice. But the moment passed quickly and you sat up out of his arms he had rolled onto his chest pouting and kicking his legs under the blanket. His fake square mouth crying almost made you laugh and he noticed sitting up with a smirk. 

“Tae it’s just a shower”

“Take me with you,” he pinched your hoodie between his thumb and forefinger, you blushed causing him to beam a brilliant megawatt smile, maybe he knew what he was doing all along. You tried to get up eyes watering in pain, he held on firmly to the hem of your clothes. “Take me with you, it’s not the first time we have showered together” 

“Fine come on let’s shower, grab some clean clothes,” you said trying to pull his hand off your hoodie without flashing your underwear. He was frozen, his mouth falling open as he licked his lip, the idea of showering with you had been stuck in his mind ever since his drunken ordeal some nights ago. You managed to slip away from his grip and ducked quickly to the bathroom, remembering to lock the door behind you. 

You were shampooing your hair when you heard him try the door and whine “you’re a liar!” His cry made you unknowingly smile from safe and unseen behind the bathroom walls. Your brassiere was still drying after you showered in your clothes. Dressing in black shorts and a white button-up you decided to go without, to be safe you threw on a black blazer. You didn’t want for any reason the shirt to become see-through and reveal your thing is if you were going without a bra it had to be a look. 

You put your hair in a business-appropriate style, your makeup was done with a dark lip tint and a slight bit of contouring of your cleavage. Adding jewellery you had found in the boxes. Simple geometric chain earring and layered geometric shape necklaces that had a chain that fell between your breasts both in silver. After slipping on some black heeled boots and looked in the mirror. 

This was the look. You were fierce and ready to take on anything. When you left the bathroom Taehyung wasn’t there. Walking down the corridor you called for the elevator checking yourself out in the stainless steel doors. You couldn’t stop the small amount of concern that coursed through you for the boys to be impressed. 

The people in the cafeteria were staring at you. Acting like it was no big deal as you confidently strode across the floor. The servers looked you over, shifting almost ashamed in their tracksuits, You made sure to be polite and compliment them. You weren’t a total bitch, nor did you think you were better than anyone here. They were talking hastily in Korean. Collecting your meal you turned to face the room. Areum waved at you from across the cafeteria. She was such a nice young woman, she had a boyfriend who face-timed her daily he was stuck in their apartment with their cats. She listened to your problems and even gave you great advice. 

Waving back, she looked pretty in the dresses you had given her which were too small for you. She looked a lot less dishevelled having access to your secret shower you had given her a time slot where she could shower, in hopes that it was never congested in the basement. You didn’t want people to start wondering why everyone was hanging out down there. For the safety of the bathroom, you removed the sign on the door. So if anyone happened to go down there it looked like just another storage room. Aiming to sit next to your brother for lunch. He had, of course, threatened you to come out of the basement or he would give your secret shower location away to all the employees. 

You carried your tray, walking slowly across the cafeteria floor. Still not spotting your brother. You ignored Taehyung’s wave from their table. Someone snatched your tray, looking at them you saw Jungkook running towards the band’s table. Yoongi and Jimin wrapped their arms around your shoulders and waist, leading you without a chance to escape. Sitting you down trapped between them. Namjoon and Seokjin sat across from you both scanning your face and outfit. 

“Ya don’t pout we aren’t that bad,” Seokjin said pointing his chopsticks at you and snapping them threateningly. It wasn’t a real threat he looked rather amused, his eyes glancing to the unbuttoned section of your shirt every now and again. Hoseok refused to speak while eating his breakfast and whenever he was spoken to he merely shrugged. You ate your breakfast in mostly silence, answering them only when they asked you a question. 

Once breakfast was over you handed your tray over to the kitchen helpers and when you turned you saw Hoseok tongue pressed against his cheek staring at your ass in the shorts you were wearing. Whoever Gfriend was? They had some cute and stylish outfits. The others announced they were going to go get ready for the day, You went to the dance studio followed by Hoseok who sat at the back of the room watching you. You danced for about half an hour before the rest of the boys came in sitting beside Hoseok and cheering you on. The song you were halfway through dancing to had a lot you could relate to in your current situation. Dancing out your feelings. 

Hoseok had seen it the moment it started the regression and depression in your eyes, he knew when you stopped leaving the basement, that something was wrong. When you started hiding from them in the halls and dodging them he knew they must have said something to hurt you. He thought it showed how much they cared, how completely wrapped around your finger they were. When you came back from the supply run gasping and begging for water he was the one to get it. But hearing you say that they didn’t care because they were famous. He wasn’t expecting that at first, he was hurt and mad because none of that was true, but the more he thought about it he knew you were right about one thing. Without the quarantine, you might not have met. 

He wondered how he could make you trust them, that they wouldn’t just leave you when this was over, but he didn’t know for sure if they would even have time to hang out after. You had a right to be upset. No amount of makeup you wore could conceal the puffiness around your eyes. And here you were again a few tears falling as you put your soul into your dance. 

You spun a complete circle ready for the chorus, only to spot Hoseok in the mirror dancing beside you. Copying some of your choreography that you had been repeating every chorus and when you kicked your leg up he caught it. Pulling you forward to fall against his strong chest. They all didn’t look like much but they were all so very strong. While still holding your leg he wrapped his free arm around your back. Lifting you slightly and walking you back towards the mirror, you were both panting chest to chest your leg secure in his hand above your head. 

You felt the stretch in your hamstring and groaned. Your muscles were still sore. Turning your head away, not wanting to be a part of whatever it was he thought he was doing. He whispered in Korean his thumb brushing your cheek which you hadn’t realised was damp from tears. Pushing him away you straightened up both feet firmly planted on the ground. 

You grabbed your things and tried to leave, you were getting too emotional. They were trying to get close to you again. Didn’t Hoseok say that you weren’t friends? Namjoon stopped you grabbing your arm. “Did we do something wrong?”

“No” You refused to look at him and his grip tightened slightly as he tried to stop you struggling. “Look, I am just preparing for when the quarantine is over and we never see or speak to each other again because you boys are Korean celebrities and I am just a random foreigner who took your interest for a few days”

“Hey that’s not how we see you,” he said but you didn’t want to hear it, it could only make it worse if he actually said they thought of you as their actual friend. Because then you would get attached and when this was all over you would have to learn to cope never being able to see them again. Because of their crazy work schedule. What was the point of being friends? You knew you didn’t think this way, you would happily wait for them no matter how long their schedule was your whole life would be on pause for them. It was a dangerous way to live.

Passing Areum your head down, she called to you. Ducking into the elevator the doors closed on the shadow of a figure running towards it calling your name. The doors shut giving you a place to let your guard down, except when the door opened once more and you were met with the gorgeous sight of Kim Seokjin. He stepped inside and closed the doors. He hit the basement button and leaned back against the wall panting. 

“I got to work out more” you passed the second floor and he turned walking over. “You are right we Korean idols, we aren’t allowed to date, or hook up with anyone”

He tucked your hair behind your ear. “But that doesn’t mean our feelings aren’t real we are human” he reached up his palm covering the Elevator camera and he tilted your head up with his free hand. His face was so close and his eyes burning in anger. Anger that you could only assume was aimed at the very same idol status that was holding back from life. His breathing shook either from the chase or from the raw emotion he was feeling. “That doesn’t mean we don’t want to”

You were struck once in the chest, it was like the strike of lightning. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it once more unsure of the right words. The problem with the service elevator is it moved slower than the others, so you finally passed the first floor. And like that his lips were on yours. They were so soft and slid with such ease across yours. His warm tongue joining in and he tilted his head deepening the kiss and pressing you further against the wall. You felt helpless like Seokjin and the boys were an ocean at high tide and what was once shallow water had risen up around your knees and pulled you in. But every time it pulled you in it pushed you back. You were going to drown you just knew it. He was breathing heavily and audibly. Not wanting this to stop as he was finally feeling free, he finally was able to act on something. 

All too soon the elevator slowed. He placed his free hand on the wall beside your head and pushed against it, straightening himself back up. Looking up at him, he seemed to recall his blank demeanour now that his hand was removed from the security camera. Feeling your heart drop, disappointed eyes stinging as you tried to hold back tears. You punched Seokjin in the chest, you were too exhausted and weren’t particularly trying to hurt him. “Stop playing with my emotions. Is this funny to you?”

Storming off you went to your ‘home’ and curled up in your blanket, your hand drifting to your lips as you could still feel him there. You could still taste him. The memories wouldn’t stop replaying and you hated how it felt so good. You were having a panic attack and as luck would have it, your asthma puffer was four floors above you.


	8. 25/03/2020

Seokjin watched you leave the elevator in a hurry. His heart sinking almost sickeningly into the pit of his stomach, he was in deep shit. There was no way you were going to talk to him ever again. Obviously, he had been reading the signs wrong. 

The elevator returned him to his previous floor worry staining his perfect features. Slouching as he shuffled back into the dance studio, the others noticing his change in demeanour. He felt absolutely horrid, as he slid his body down the wall hanging his head in shame. The boys were shocked the Seokjin had such a pained expression. 

“What happened?” Jimin briskly joined him trying to get some information.   
“I made a mistake, I have ruined everything”  
“What did you do?” Yoongi asked, taking this as his break from standing, sat, then promptly laid back on the wooden floorboards.   
“I kissed her” Yoongi got up faster than anyone had ever seen.   
“You what!?” A voice shouted thundering footsteps closed in until Seokjin was being lifted by his collar. “That’s my sister!” 

They had no way of stopping the fist that connected with Seokjin’s face but they quickly restrained b/n before he did any more damage.   
“How will we explain this to the Army?” Namjoon turned Seokjin’s head back and forth. Looking at the swelling and bruising that had already started developing under his porcelain-like skin. 

“I will get some ice” Hoseok briskly ventured off and b/n stormed off to find you. Jimin after listening to His Hyung’s retelling of events wondered what the big deal was, it was just a kiss and there was no evidence he said he covered the camera. Management wouldn’t find out. 

Yoongi saw ideas hit Jimin like a freight train, “this is perfect, Quarantine means no paparazzi and as long as there are no security cameras we can do whatever we want”  
“You can’t do that, that’s what she is worried about being used and then forgotten” Taehyung picked at the lint on his pants, processing everything slowly. He started analysing every conversation they had shared. “She needs to trust us”

Hoseok who had walked back inside handed over an ice pack. “It’s not her that needs to trust us, we need to back off, do we all really expect to hang out when this is all over. We will be on tour again, tired and busy. Maybe she is right it would put too much strain on our friendship. If we are busy with the tour it’s just her waiting alone, she would be the only one putting in the effort” 

Namjoon hummed “you make a valid point”

_There was a brisk knock at the door, you were breathing into a paper bag as the panic set in. Your lungs closing up these symptoms resembling an Asthma attack, the human body was truly something. The door opened and your brother stepped in, he was tense but noticing your predicament he assured you he would return quickly with your puffer._

_Minutes past and there was another knock, you thankfully had calmed slightly. Enough to head over and open up the door nervously you saw someone you weren’t expecting. It was someone from higher up and they escorted you to the elevator. This couldn’t be happening, how would they know already. This had to be a coincidence._

_Arriving at the sixth floor. Everyone was wearing masks and gloves, you felt a little unsure. Taking small hesitant steps, the atmosphere was heavy. People were moving about the place silently, that’s what was unnerving. The silence. “This way” the two men either side of you pressed their hands against your back, pushing you forward. In a small office which looked to have been converted into a bedroom. An older man was laying in bed and he didn’t look well._

_“We have a list of supplies we need you to retrieve, we have made contact with the hospital and they are waiting,” A man behind a mask took your phone, typing in an address._

_“What if I refuse” Your voice was barely audible, two guns were cocked behind you making you freeze up. Looking over your shoulder to the two men who were aiming at your head. You swallowed thickly You would need time to process everything. “Please get dressed and meet us on the first floor while everyone is at dinner”_

Yoongi had finished showering and was dawdling to the elevator, he honestly hoped that there was something good for dinner. He never complained about food but he sure had his favourites. When this was over he would order lamb skewers. He knew these were trivial thoughts but he was trying to avoid the exhausting topic relating to the events that occurred that afternoon. The elevator doors opened and he saw you looking pale accompanied by two men in suits. What odd occurrences at first he was heading to the basement and saw your brother holding a puffer saying you had disappeared in the middle of a panic attack, and now. Now, here you were being followed by two young men, is this why you had wanted condoms. Yoongi frowned, why had you dressed like that. He didn’t like the idea of you looking so good in the presence of other men.

_You nodded as the shock was shaking you to the core, you were escorted down to the basement. Yoongi stood outside the elevator with wet hair, he moved aside as you went to the storage room to get dressed. Finding some long pants and your undergarments which had dried by now. You were dressed covered but not too warm; you knew walking would keep you warm”_

It was torture. You brushed passed him as he eyed the two gentlemen even though it really wasn’t his business. Running a hand through his hair he was exasperated. Not knowing how he got from the basement to the cafeteria but here he was focusing on his bowl of kimchi jjigae. Dinner had provided a much-needed distraction. He didn’t want to know what you and two men could get up to. 

_You stood off to the side of the first floor zipping you into the suit. You put on a brave face and spotted Areum walking to the cafeteria. Hesitating just long enough to get a gun pressed into your back “move”_

“I wonder what y/n will eat she doesn’t really like kimchi jjigae,” Jungkook asked quietly flooding back to Yoongi’s mind were subtle things, the way your eyes were blown wide you must have been excited. 

“Guys I can’t find y/n and last I saw her she was having a panic attack in the basement.   
“I saw her go to the basement with two guys, she is probably having the time of her life right now” There was bitterness in his voice that even left him shocked.

_She gave you a scared look as if she was going to call out but you shook your head slightly and flicked your hand in a subtle shooing motion. She quietly ran to the cafeteria and you were thankful she listened. Afraid that if they spotted her she might have gotten hurt. Heading out the building and down the foggy streets, there was something eerie about this all._

“She what!” Jimin froze looking at the monotonous rapper. “What do you mean?”  
“Namjoon-ssi” a voice shouted Hoseok recognised Areum and smiled.   
“It’s y/n, she, she and they with guns”  
The boys were on their feet, “what did you say? Who what do you mean guns?” Their words overlapped sounding like nonsense to the other diners.

“Tell Me” b/n shook her not so gently. She was scared as she tried to stay calm and explain.   
“They had guns pointed at her and they sent her outside.”  
“Outside!?” Jungkook went to run but was grabbed “let me go Hyung she could be dying, the poison”  
“They have guns Jungkook”  
“She was in a suit,” Areum said 

Yoongi scolded himself, she hadn’t been excited, she had been scared, he wanted to slap himself. Why hadn’t he tried to talk to you to find out what was wrong? He could have stopped all this. If only he just asked. He knew she was waiting for him to ask.

“Who were these men?” Namjoon hissed ready to throw hands.   
“That’s the thing, it’s the higher-up’s bodyguards, this is an inside job whatever they want they are willing to risk other people’s lives for it” Areum sniffed.   
“Maybe she left a note in the storage room,” Taehyung said hopefully and they all took off heading to the basement. They searched all the obvious places and deemed it unlikely that you did. They had no choice but to sit and wait. 

_You had been travelling for about two hours by the time you arrived at the hospital. The night was still, it was cool but inside the suit, you were very warm. The boots you were wearing ironically were not exactly made for walking. They were for style rather than comfort. Blisters already forming on the backs of your ankles. It was too quiet, you had your radio on barely audible. Not wanting to run into any unfamiliar people in the fog, with little to no noise you continued making the journey to the Hospital. Arriving they led you to the back, filling your pack full of supplies, staring at the oxygen tank you were supposed to carry back._

“What if she doesn’t come back?” Areum paced   
“She is smart, she will be fine” Your brother seemed dead inside, staring into nothingness. They didn’t want to admit the odds but they honestly thought he was being delusional the odds were stacked against you. 

“I heard there are thieves killing people and stealing their supplies on the street” Seokjin frowned. This was clearly his punishment for catching feelings. The nine of them paced and shifted around the room. Like the worlds longest and most anxiety-inducing game of musical chairs.  
“I hope she is safe” Jungkook muttered

_Heading back. Following the map in reverse, you heard someone talking. Switching off your radio not wanting to risk being found you slowly moving along the street. There was a voice speaking Korean one was shushing the other and they cocked guns._

_They could hear your breather, reaching behind you and turning the dial until your breather stopped. You continued moving quietly. You couldn’t let yourself be found. You knew these were bad people. You had heard about people with guns. The supply place had warned you about the thieves. You continued moving quickly, your lungs burning, you would have to take another breath soon._

Gasping Jimin pulled his head out from the water in his hands, he tried to clear his head splashing on his face. He wanted to confront the higher-up’s, he needed answers. He wanted to go out and get you but he couldn’t. There was no plausible way to do it. He felt like he was running aimlessly through the dark. 

_Running aimlessly in the dark, well you called it running but it was more like a glorified power walk, you reached down turning the dial. Taking slow breaths of the oxygen pooling back into the mask, you think you might have lost them. Your heart was beating so strong in your ears it was unbearable._

_Clutching the large medical oxygen tank, you navigate your way through the thick fog. It was damn near impossible to see, you were watching the ground for anything audible that would give yourself away. You saw a pair of feet stopping abruptly. There was a figure in front of you, thankfully they were facing away, their breather was louder than yours. His gun was strung over his shoulder and his hands seemed free._

“Why did you kiss my sister?”  
“I um, I think I have feelings for her?”  
“Listen, you know that’s not a good idea, why would you drag her into this, the kpop world is ugly and the fans deadly and devoted”  
“It’s not like we planned for this to happen, we just like her” Yoongi hummed Laying across the couch.   
“Wait, we? Great, just great, anyone else in love with my sister?” Taehyung raised his hand and the others followed suit. 

_Raising your hand you switched off your breather, he looked like he was about to turn so you swung with all your might. The tank colliding with the back of his head, he dropped. You snatched his gun and continued you had to be close, you passed a familiar building plaque. Turning your breather on you had to do something._

_Two buildings away. In a moment of stupidity, you unzipped the front of your suit, slipping the gun inside. Into the hem of your sweatpants, you arranged it to hide under the lumpy suit. It was quite a long gun it reached your knee and up to your underarm. But you had to make it look natural. You could feel the uncomfortable warmth on your body from the chemicals. Luckily the headpiece was isolated from the body of the suit meaning it didn’t let the fumes that leaked into the suit, up into your eyes or lungs._

_You made it to the door and they let you in, thrusting the items into their hands you told them you had to wash the fumes off and walked to the elevator in the suit. You got to the basement and heard both the boys and your brother arguing, turning into the bathroom and slipping off the suit. You removed the gun. It was a big, locating the safety on the side you switched it on. You thought you would be more scared holding a weapon but that moment had already passed._

_Throwing open the shower door you saw Jungkook turn, slipping in the process and covering himself with a washcloth. “Please don’t shoot!”  
“Jungkook shut up, look I need a boost. Can you lift me up here? I need to hide this.”  
“Where the hell did you get that?”_

_“Jungkook come on”  
“Okay,” he turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He walked over, body glistening and he squatted down holding his towel from shifting. His muscular arms wrapped around your thighs and he pushed up, standing. Placing the gun up on the ledge before he returned you back down. _

_Straightening up he frowned “what’s wrong with your neck, it’s all red.?”  
“Chemical burns all over my body, no major exposure but it’s potent stuff out there” those words registered in his mind at a lightning pace. Chemical burn, burn, an injury you were hurt. _

_He grabbed you, walking you backwards and turning the shower on. He took the detachable shower head and began washing you down. He frowned at the redness of the chemical biting into your skin. He one-handed pulled your shirt above your head and threw it with a wet slap across the room, his hand then travelling to your sweat pants sliding them down. “Is that better?” He was trying not to look at your beautiful body. Now really wasn’t the time._

_“Yes you can’t imagine the relief”_


	9. 26/03/2020

At some point the Adrenaline in your system had crashed, exhaustion taking over, your body falling limp in Jungkook’s arms. He took the towel you kept hanging over the shower stall and wrapped you securely in it. Carrying your smaller form and laying you onto the long wooden seat while he dressed. Not wanting your brother to have an actual stroke at the idea that you had showered together. Scooping you back into his arms he let you rest your head against his chest, your hair dampening his shirt. Strawberries and cream. A scent he couldn’t forget. **  
**

Walking your limp form back into the room, telling Yoongi to move off the sofa. Jungkook didn’t speak, his priority was to gently lay you down and cover you with a blanket. Stalling for time as he searched for the right way to explain what happened. But now that he had time to process he realised you hadn’t told him anything.

“She is fine, it was a bad chemical burn and so she had to wash it off but passed out, luckily I was in a towel, the redness and the rash-like reaction is gone” Jungkook rubbed his arm thinking over his words. “she didn’t tell me anything else”

Unaware they had been concerned until the tension in their muscles unwound slowly. It was like they had been so distracted by the situation they didn’t know their bodies had become so tense. And seeing you sleeping mostly unharmed and peaceful eased their worries. They followed your lead, wall to wall, the room filled with bodies lounging and sleeping peacefully. 

Waking with a start, there was gunfire upstairs. Areum was crying saying the boys had gone to check but hadn’t returned. You ducked out from the room telling her you were going to the bathroom to grab your weapon. Opening the door you peeked out, the silence feeling heavy like the calm before a storm. 

As quickly as you could you got to the bathroom, you had to retrieve the gun off the ledge. Standing up on the toilet you reached up, your hand barely able to brush the weapon. Painstakingly pulling it closer with the pads of your fingers. You jumped down gliding briskly to the door. Nervous you stopped your hand on the handle. It was like a checkpoint in a game, you knew something was about to happen. Your breathing became heavy and your vision distorted slightly. 

Unable to take the growing stress that was caused by the unknown you ripped the door back and sprinted for the storage room. Behind you, you heard Jimin’s voice and a loud clattering down the stairs. Looking over your shoulder. This had to be a sick joke. Jimin was flanked by your brother and his band members. They all ran getting dragged and pulled by what looked like previous BigHit members but were now the undead. You cocked the gun and told them to keep running, there was nowhere to shoot that wasn’t them. 

Heart shaking with fear as you watched Seokjin fall, he screamed at them to keep running before he was unable to make a sound. He was the first one to get to know you, the first to be there for you and he had kissed you. Hot tears fell down your cheeks. Namjoon turned after he heard the eldest stop yelling and tripped. You wanted to shout for him to get up but your mouth was sealed shut. He tried looking like he was in pain. Yoongi stopped running purposefully trying to give him time to get up and keep moving. He gave you a small sad smile before he closed his eyes looking almost peaceful. 

You watched him get torn apart. Namjoon was taken as well, too stunned and horrified, unable to get up off the floor. Jungkook pushed Hoseok ahead and started to fight back. He was holding up pretty well against them but when he was faced with Namjoon, Yoongi and Seokjin he couldn’t bring himself to hurt them and instead let them rip him limb from limb.

The hallway seemed so long and yet so short, as they were closing in on you. Taehyung was crying audibly, Jimin holding his hand pulling him along but felt a tug. Taehyung’s screams had broken him. Jimin saw his best friend and soulmate caught by the hair, sharp teeth shredding the flesh of his neck. Taehyung’s mouth fell open as he almost collapsed, hands grabbing at him. Taehyung tried to let go but Jimin wouldn’t give up. Stepping towards his tall best friend Jimin wrapped his arms around him holding Taehyung up while he too was attacked. He stood firm holding in his screams comforting Taehyung with his most pained smile, as the two were mauled before your eyes.

Hoseok and your brother were closing in but so were these creatures. You couldn’t take anymore, they were running and dodging with all the grace and strength of dancers. You aimed the gun taking out one of the undead getting a little too close to your brother. Hoseok reached you first. Noticing your brother struggling he took the gun and stepped out, shooting the oncoming crowd helping your brother get free and run towards the room. The numbers were decreasing until the gun made a barely audible clack. No more bullets.

Hoseok smacked one of those monsters in the head and ran but your brother pulled you into the room. “He isn’t going to make it.” Fighting the older male trying to get the door to stay open long enough for Hoseok to enter. “He has been exposed to the gas, it turns you.”

Looking back you noticed Hoseok was no longer running from them, but with them. The door shut, ignoring him and the other boys calling your name. Crying head pressed against the door hands pressed to your ears as you tried to stop hearing them call you. 

You couldn’t save them. Areum shouted your name concerned, you turned to see her on the ground trying to hold off your brother who had his teeth embedded in her arm. Had you really not managed to save any of them.

“Y/n?” They called and you tried to hold it together, the foreboding feeling overwhelmed you.   
“I got this” You brother turned to you, eyes as red as the blood on his face and shouted “Y/n!”

Struck across the cheek you jolted yourself, backing up against the arm of the couch panting and looking around in fear. They all jumped back at your reaction each showing concern and looking so beautifully healthy and human. 

It was a nightmare, just some shitty apocalypse-themed movie in your mind, tears of relief poured from your eyes as you grabbed the nearest being. Hugging Yoongi around the waist, burying your face against his soft lumpy old man cardigan. He laughed “what did I die?”

“You all did, you were turned into Zombies!”  
“Hey zombies aren’t real” Jimin laughed   
“Tell us what happened, you will realise how silly it sounds and then you will feel better,” Namjoon said you told them what happened and they seemed to laugh. 

“Why did I die, you think I wouldn’t punch my zombie friends” Jungkook scoffed  
“I don’t get it, Joonie you will trip and get yourself killed, but why was I first to die”  
“The funny one always dies first” Areum laughed. It was a nervous sound as she made awkward eye contact with your brother. 

“Tell us, what happened?”   
“That was it, I told you?”  
“Not the dream out there, where did you go?”  
“I went to get more supplies”   
“Tell us what happened?” Namjoon said, 

“I went out to get some supplies at the hospital. I came back and there were people out of the street, just like last time, I had to turn off my breather or they would find me. There is no way to see more than a foot in front of you so you have to move quietly as silently as one could in a full-body hazmat suit, but as I went I almost ran directly into another man, his back was to me and his breather was loud. I hit him across the back of the head and took his gun”

“Gun!”  
“That’s why you walked in the bathroom with it yesterday” Jungkook pointed and you nodded   
“This company sees me as expendable, that gun is my only form of protection”   
“Why did they need more supplies?” Areum asked curiously, but you were clueless shrugging. 

Areum left heading to the bathroom, she said it was almost time for her to get to work. Your brother left saying he had gotten a text from his students they were apparently scared. One of his pupils had apparently started to have a breakdown. So he told them all to head to the dance studio and he would watch over them while they slept. 

The silence fell, making Yoongi groan, the sound vibrating his torso deeply, and you felt a tiny twinge between your legs in response. “Let me sit” Yoongi tapped your shoulder with his long fingers. Loosening your grip, he sat on the couch and pulled your legs over his lap so you could lean back on the arm of the chair. 

“I won’t die,” Jungkook said, “I would protect you with my life but I won’t let myself die, the only person I would let kill me would be you?” He flashed you a bunny smile, his ears turning red. 

They each laid back down and started to drift back to sleep, you pretended but you were afraid you would return to that nightmare. A tap on your knee brought you to the present. 

“I am going to go to my studio, get some more rest” Yoongi stared at your knee and then patted it listing your legs standing and placed them back down. He was leaning over you tucking you in and he held your chin pressing his lips to yours surprisingly slowly. Slip. The way your lips instinctively parted had you met with a smirk as he teasingly brushed his tongue against yours. He was playing beautiful symphonies in your mouth. Before you could react he left. Without a sound. That man could easily be mistaken as a ghost with how quiet he moves.

“What!” You slapped your hand over your mouth in shock. That bastard seriously just kissed you and then ditched. Who does that sly piece of shit think he is? You were confused what did the kiss mean? At least Seokjin gave some speech about being denied physical affection or something, so you were willing to overlook that kiss. But this one was just out of nowhere with no explanation. Maybe he too felt like he was going crazy without physical affection. BigHit needed to do something, these boys were pent up and luckily you were in the right mind frame to understand it meant nothing they were just trying to relieve some stress.

No cap though, kissing both Seokjin and Yoongi was low-key fire. You felt your walls slowly slip a little more. It seems whether you liked it or not the Bangtan boys had ways to sneak back into your heart.


	10. 27/03/2020 Trailer for the fic follow the link to my tumblr.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://youarejesting.tumblr.com/post/613763428678549504/quarantine10-trailer

<https://youarejesting.tumblr.com/post/613763428678549504/quarantine10-trailer>

**Disclaimer** : I do not own the footage that belongs to BigHit, Run BTS. It is posted under the copyright law fair use. The purpose and character of the use, including whether such use is of a commercial nature or is for nonprofit educational purposes. (I don’t make any profit from this). The subtitles are FAKE go to Vlive or the BTS YouTube channel to watch the real thing it is funny, the couple videos are from kristino Olsens YouTube channel. I made this. I did my best with the limited footage I could find. None of the original clips belong to me. Credit to Kristino Olsen for her street couples videos on youtube (I don’t try to get look-alikes of the boys I just get similar hair or cut the heads out haha) BigHit, the movie Exit (2019, I recommend) The Bangtan boys. Various other dramas.

 **Your brother is now named Thomas** (I asked my niece to give me a boys name((cause I got sick of saying your brother and b/n))

The two girls dancing are YN and Areum. You can decide who is who. :)


	11. 28/03/2020

Thomas headed into the dance studio his students were waiting inside setting up their pillows and blankets. Smiling he told them to lay down, get comfortable and listen. Taking up the majority of the floor, it looked like a big pillow fort sleepover. He played soft sleep music and walked around the room talking softly.

“Some of you are scared because you are away from home” He began carefully stepping around his students, “I understand the feeling, you are not alone we are in this together. We are a family, so when you’re scared I don’t want you to be shy, come see me and we can chat. But know that it is alright to be scared, it is alright to cry and scream and get mad. It is human to feel things and it’s not a crime to share your feelings. I want you to know that your families are worried about you as much as you are worried about them. So stay safe and try to do your best, as they will be doing their best as well.”

Sighing he handed a few tissues out here and there, smiling softly “I know it isn’t the best advice but there is a reason I am a dancer and not a Psychiatrist”

“Cause you can’t read” one of the kids roasted you and you laughed.

“You bet your butts, I hate reading. But think of this as an opportunity, not only are you bonding as a team you have access to the studio whenever you want in the free spaces on the time table”

He hummed an idea struck him, “How about this? A little assignment, if you will. I want you to make a routine to any song you like to make your family proud and to show them you are safe. We will send it to them so they can watch from home and know you are doing okay. So get to thinking and dreaming about what you are going to do” 

Once all the teens and young adults had fallen asleep, he snuck out. Heading down the hall and along to the stairwell. He was heading up slowly, wanting to get to the bottom of these men on the sixth floor who sent you out in the night. Rounding the corner to the last set of stairs he saw Areum hiding against the wall, by the door to the sixth floor. The door was opened slightly and he leaned in to listen his chest gently brushing her back, she jumped turning and he slapped a hand over her mouth.

Areum calmed once more in his arms and he let her go feeling a strange tingling where his hands had made contact with her. They listened some more and looked at each other shocked. “The hospital called the samples that were taken have come back positive” The young receptionist whispered into the phone. “We have to get him to the hospital but we only have one suit. No, the CEO’s don’t know about this yet, no, well their plan is to get that girl to go again, they found another headpiece but the breather is faulty. They don’t think it will last the journey so they aren’t going to tell her and have people meet them halfway. Thomas’ eyes widened and he grabbed Areum and quietly sprinted down the steps.

He didn’t stop until they were a floor down, walking towards away from the stairwell hoping they didn’t look suspicious. Areum was shaking in fear, he knew she was going into shock he had dealt with this many times before. Securing her by the shoulders Thomas looked her in the eyes. Gently shushing her rubbing her shoulders. “They are going to kill her?” Her voice came out as a croak and her volume was a fraction too loud

“I won’t let them get near her?” Assuring her, pulling her smaller form to his chest and trying not to think about how she matched him perfectly.

“How will you stop them, they are armed. That’s how they took her last time”

Silence fell over the two. Once Areum had calmed down significantly they parted ways, promising to look for answers on the shady things that were happening on BigHit’s sixth floor. If BigHit was titanic, the two CEO’s would be the captains, anything above the fifth floor was the high class and any of the employees were the middle class. Y/n was in the lower class category because she didn’t even work here. She gave no profit to the company and was therefore expendable. 

The metallic doors of the elevator slid aside to reveal Yoongi. His finger had finally released the button that held the door closed. He walked to his studio, using the keypad to enter the room. It chimed to life and the feint click assured him of his safe haven. He liked the security he felt, knowing that this room was locked. This room was his heart and soul. The secrets he and this room shared were enough to destroy him. Not by way of scandals. But break him as a human, crush his hopes and dreams. This room had seen him cry far too many times to be healthy.

Leaning back against the door, he felt out of tune. He had just kissed Y/n one of the happiest moments of his life, he had never felt such a rush. Sure he had girlfriends in the past but they weren’t like this and he wasn’t like himself. Back then he was just a regular teen who didn’t understand his emotions. Now he felt a little more informed to them. But the pleasant feelings were off-key. Why? Because the company was planning on killing her, this couldn’t be right. The company wasn’t that bad. Was it. 

He was filled with mixed emotions, usually, his thoughts and feelings perfectly harmonized but right now this was the equivalent of a middle school band. He tried to put the feelings to work using his music to express and process everything.

He finally figured out the outlines of a plan. Knowing the resident genius could polish his idea. He began writing a text.

**[Yoongi: Alert! those people who sent Y/n out they are planning to do it again. We don’t know when but we have to keep her safe. We can’t let her know. So here’s the plan.]**

Laying there you were thinking about the kiss, about how your body seemed to hum like the strings of a harp. Yoongi had a way to make things feel poetic, even the tiniest gestures that seemed so nonchalant, you knew had been composed with the utmost delicacy. The boy’s phones all lit up at once. Was it another alert? You told yourself not to read it if it didn’t say Alert

When you looked at the phone there was a moment of amusement. You couldn’t read Korean. Well, you could you just didn’t know what you were reading. You went to put Namjoon’s phone back when it lit up again. Placing it back down you saw your brothers name. Scolding yourself for snooping, you placed the phone face down. You wouldn’t read it you respect them. To say it wasn’t eating away at you was an understatement. This was accompanied by the raw heat that burnt in your chest. Your brother had their number but you didn’t.

Unable to sleep you plugged in your headphones and started watching a few Korean Drama’s. Seokjin had shown you a few nights ago when they had all gotten drunk. You were obsessed. The boys were a little jealous when you said the male lead was good looking but after telling them that they all would make a much better lead they calmed.

The time ticked over and you knew about know above ground the sun would soon start to rise, ever so slowly. Hoseok stretched rolling up into a seated position and rubbed his eyes starring into the darkness at you. Your phone had a small glow that bounced off your skin. “Good morning, Hoseok” Crawling over he sat on the edge of the couch taking the phone and squinting at it like the brightness was personally offending him. He began typing.

Pulling him to lay down in front of you, he moaned quite loudly. “There you are Jagiya, we are friends now, See. I gave you my phone number”  
“Sunshine Emoji Hobi Sunshine Emoji” Of course he would make a cute name, you sent him a text watching his phone light up across the room. Biting your lip from the squeal that threatened to escape you wrapped your arms around him.

“Are you trying to spoon me?”  
“I believe the technical term for this is a jet pack because I am smaller and on the outside.


	12. 29/03/2020

It seemed you had fallen asleep again, why is it sleep was like throwing a dart. Sometimes it would be the best thing you have ever done, and you would wake well-rested, feeling relaxed and energised for the day. But then there were times you would do everything the same as normal but you wake up with a sore neck, your eyes and mouth have gone dry. Why is it that right now you feel like someone took your lifeless corpse and ran through a minefield dragging it behind them, then they thought it would be fun to fill your insides with sand to just weigh your body down. Then they dragged you through the big hit building from the rooftop to the basement taking the stairs and making sure you smacked your head on every step. Before throwing you on the couch and barely bringing you back to life, where some of your ghost was still hanging from your form and the idea of waking up was like trying to pull your soul back into your body. 

Yes, this was an accurate representation of how you felt. This time when you woke there was a light on in the room, it was like today wasn’t your day, why don’t they just light the couch on fire while you sleep and be done with you. 

“Hey” the soft almost nasally tenor pulled your eyes of death in their direction. Your glare didn’t soften as you saw the perfect features presented before you, hair a mess and eyes reflecting the same level of murderous intent as yours. You sat up stomped across the room and grabbed the free-standing room dividers and lifted them with some unknown strength moving them to either side of the couch. Throwing a clean dust cover over the top. 

Climbing back onto the couch in your little fort, you heard a whisper. “She is scary, how the hell did she lift it” 

“I don’t know and I don’t want to know?” Unable to fall asleep, you just rested thinking about whatever came to mind. Eyes closed and the small air purifier blowing air across your face, there was something about V’s deep voice that made you melt into the couch. The boys at least tried to keep their voices down but your ears picked up a very important word. 

You scrambled out of the makeshift cocoon, “do you want some?” Namjoon smiled over at you, you stepped out noticing the almost panicked lock in their eyes you smiled reassuringly. “We can get it why don’t you stay down here with J-Hope and rest”

“But I wanna come too” were they excluding you, your phone chimed and looking down it was a message from Hoseok. He was asking you to stay with him and you sighed “okay, I will stay”

They each waved in the doorway before disappearing out into the hall. Hoseok was tidying up space, so you decided to help. Packing up clothes and rubbish when you saw the bag of extra supplies. Asking Hoseok if the kitchen had a spare portable cooker and if the boys could get it. Seemingly curious but agreeing he shot off a text. 

Your phone buzzed accompanied with a short bell tone. It was a text from an unknown number. 

**[Unknown: hello friend ☺️ we will be bringing you the portable cooker]**   
**[You: Who is this?]**   
**[Unknown: 🥺 it’s Jimin…]**   
**[Unknown: Hobi said you wanted to text us…]**   
**[Unknown: 😞]**   
**[You: Hey Jimin, when are you coming back, please bring a pot as well?😊]**

“What has made you so distracted?” Hoseok’s voice which you realised had been talking, gently floating from the other side of the room. Was now coming from directly behind you, you were indeed too distracted to notice he had moved. 

“Jimin was texting me” you turned, showing him your phone conversation.   
“Ah don’t make me regret giving your phone number to the boys, but set his name as something sexy he likes being called sexy and handsome more than cute”

Humming you set his name to 🥵 Sexy 🥵  
“Hey! Wait I want you to change my name” Hoseok giggled behind you, tugging cutely on your hoodie sleeve “make me a new name as well”

“Alright how about this?” tapping away on the keyboard until it now read ☀️My Hope☀️ looking over your shoulder Hoseok was making cute noises and leaned down so his face was really close. 

His pixie nose looked absolutely adorable and his smile was the perfect heart, you thought he was going to kiss you. He licked his lips slowly, the action was so carnal, cupping your cheek and leaning into your lips so close your eyes started to flutter closed. 

You heard them before you saw them, talking loudly in the hall. With literally a breath between you, he pulled back a sigh escaping him. Leaving you stunned, continuing to clean. The boys entered the room and Jimin smiled showing you the portable electric stove and the pot in his hands. 

“Jiminie, I missed you,” he laughed covering his face, which had started heating up from the attention. Feeling cheeky you went over to him, holding your arms out for a hug and he was laughing so hard that when he went to hug you, the both of you toppled over. “Jimin-ssi?”

He tried to calm down as your voice turned serious, you were looking at his arm in his cap sleeve button up from their debut. You were squeezing his bicep and you looked up at him. 

“You must be so strong” he giggled again rolling on the floor. The others were laughing and Jungkook ran over, “I am strong too!”

You looked at the bicep he had revealed lifting his shirt sleeve. These boys were all so strong even if they didn’t appear so but the ones with defined muscles they had your heart stuttering in your chest. “Wah, how did you get so strong?” Climbing up off the floor you grabbed his arm and gave it a squeeze. He grew bashful as well as his cheeks and face red. 

“I-I have been working out” he handed you a cup of coffee. He sat on a spare couch cushion and beamed into his own caffeinated beverage. The boys had been acting weird, a fraction too friendly. They were lovely boys always happy to chat but this was just off slightly. You had to test out what it was they were hiding and you knew they were hiding something from the way they were side-eyeing each other. You had a hunch it was to do with something outside of the room, perhaps the cafeteria as they refused to let you leave this morning. 

Standing you headed to the door, planning to head to the bathroom and get dressed for the day. “Where are you going?” Namjoon asked looking up from his phone and you tried not to smile, they were definitely trying to keep something from you. Waving your clothes with a grin you turned to the group of handsome men. Each stealing your heart with their cute expressions.

“I am going to the bathroom to get dressed, is that a crime?” They all seemed to shy away, some even blushing at the thought. Hoseok laughed awkwardly smacking Namjoon’s leg in what you assumed was a warning. Whatever they were hiding, you hoped it had nothing to do with your brother who had texted them last night. Perhaps you would visit him. “Now excuse me I would like to get dressed now, or did you want to come with me and watch?”

Spinning on the ball of your foot you came face to chest with Yoongi, “Hey, I am never one to turn down an invitation, and there is nothing better to do?” Yoongi was not shy and if he was, he played it cool. Two could play at that game. The boys may have beaten you at poker but let’s see who would fold first this time.

“Ok, let’s go, you can hold my clothes?” You held the clothes out, he nodded his mouth shut eyes bored.  
“In that case?” He held up your Tata underwear and threw them across the room. Taehyung froze his face red as they landed on his shoulder. Hoseok picked it up, folded it neatly and placed it to the side laughing at Taehyung’s overly serious expression. As Yoongi picked up Shooky underwear and nodded. “These are better”

“Well, come on” You opened the door and gestured for him to exit, he started walking turning to you as he stepped through the door. Blushing you snatched the clothes and pushed him back inside. “So you don’t want me to come with”

He was bloody smirking at you, you ducked into the bathroom. Splashing cool water on your heated cheeks. You looked happy, eyes bright and cheeks rosy, it didn’t seem like you. This was the look of one of those heroines in a movie when she takes off her glasses and puts on a dress and suddenly she is beautiful. But you didn’t have a makeover, you just seemed to look at yourself in a different light. It was strange how nice the world looked when you were happy.


	13. 30/03/2020

Turning on the shower just barely you knew you would be quick, racing quietly out the door and down the hall, taking the stairs to the main floor. Crossing the lobby to the main elevators to your brother’s office, you used the keypad pin code to get in and looked at him. He looked tired, the bags under his eyes were dark, the sun coming in through the window lit up only half his face making him seem almost angelic, the other side shadowed with a strange look gleaming in his eyes. He smiled up at you the distortion between the light and the dark made you itch your arm nervously. Suddenly unsure of how to bring up the issue. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure” he gestured to the small couch and he turned to face you, his entire face entering the path of the sun.   
“What are you keeping from me?” You tested the water engaging his reaction and he gave you nothing.   
“Why do you think I am keeping something from you?” He looked at you curiously, his eyes narrowed as the sun shone harshly against his features.   
“Why can’t I leave the basement?”  
“You can leave the basement, you are here aren’t you?” He leaned back shielding his eyes with his hand “you want to do some dancing today?”

“Sure, is their a studio room free?”  
“Mm number three is free, here is the key go have fun it’s the boy’s studio but I am sure they won’t mind” you went to leave and he was watering a potted plant in the far corner of his room. “And Y/n, please stay safe, don’t overwork yourself” he smiled his face completely encapsulated by the darkness. 

You shivered, stepping out and waiting by the door trying to process everything. You heard him talking to someone rapidly scolding whoever they were and he dropped your name. Something was definitely going on behind your back. Once in the dance studio, you made the decision to instead learn a few things in Korean you wanted to get better at it. Having been a month since you arrived in Korea and a week and a bit stuck in quarantine, you knew keywords and some phrases, you learnt more trying to create sentences. 

A whole day of studying Korean and your brain was fried, you had been taking notes, heading back to your room in the basement. Head leaning against the elevator wall, everyone had been wiggling their way back into your presence. You had been so careful but you couldn’t stop them, deciding that you would let them in but protect your heart. You were happy to be friends but you wouldn’t let yourself go further, you didn’t want to get hurt. Ping. The elevator doors slid open. Stepping into the corridor and walking slowly down the hallway, you watched the door checking the bathroom to make sure the shower was in fact off. 

Walking to the Storage room door you noticed a piece of paper stuck to the outside that read; ‘Y/n’s Secret Base’ it seemed like all the boys had taken the time to make the sign. You could see where Jungkook drew a picture of you and judging by the ‘S’ right beside it Yoongi had drawn a pair of underwear. Opening the door, you noticed no one was inside. The smile fell from your lips. Disappointment coursed through you since when had these boys have such an effect on you. Since when had you become hopeful just to see them. You knew they were idols, and people wanted to ‘just see’ them every day but this was different, you didn’t want to fangirl. You wanted to watch drama’s with Jin and have Namjoon shush you when he was trying to read and work, you wanted the boys to laugh at your poor attempts at rapping. More than anything you wanted them there, just present beside you. 

A watched pot never boils. That’s not true you stared at it for what seemed like ten minutes and it started bubbling. Looking down at the small makeshift coffee table ready to open the ramen packets you saw water dropping into tiny pools against the wood. You hadn’t realised you had started to cry. Wiping vigorously at your cheeks, but they kept flowing.

“We are back and we brought dinner!” Seokjin cheered and they froze, seeing you sobbing over boiling water. Realising it must have been a rather odd sight, you couldn’t help the simultaneous laughing and sobbing that racked your body.   
“Hey what’s wrong?” Jimin asked hugging you from behind, he and Taehyung were the ones who were super physical, always wanting to use there senses to the fullest. 

You saw some employees shy away from Taehyung and when you brought it up he smiled scruffing the back of his hair. “They think I am a bit weird, so they don’t like to talk with me. They also have trouble understanding what I am trying to say because I am from the country.” This surprised you all the boys were really fluent in English, they were mostly shy and took a long time to process their thoughts into a reply. 

You were patient and never rushed them but there were a few times you had gotten frustrated when the meaning was lost between you. However, you would never avoid Taehyung for that, things like that is what made you all human. Taking his hand in yours you squeezed it. Even in your first days of meeting you were comfortable with them.

“I’m sorry, I was just sad” You laughed wiping your tears. “What did you get to eat?”  
“We got Bulgolgi tonight which we hope you will get excited for, cause it is not spicy or fermented” Namjoon smiled ever so thoughtful  
“What do you have there?” Jungkook asked leaning over trying to see what was in the bag in your lap.  
“I don’t know if you will like it” You tried to keep the cheeky grin off your face.  
“What is it?”  
“It’s a little something you might have never heard of, it’s called ramyeon” you grinned and their heads turned so fast many of them let out a satisfying pop.

All hell broke loose as they began shouting about Ramyeon, you grinned putting a few noodle cakes into the water and you followed the instructions. Yoongi took over and promised you he would make it nice. The boys kept the Chilli packets to mix through after they served you a large portion. “You know what I really want, Fried chicken or JjaJangmyeon.” The collective groan that passed through the room made you giggle. “When this is over we go for Fried chicken yeah?”

You held out your pinky to the middle of the table and they all looked at each other and then at Namjoon who nodded extending his hand to yours linking your pinkies and stamping it. They all grinned cupping their hands around your joined ones. Each talking about what they would do once this was all over.


	14. 31/03/2020

After ramyeon, the boys played games while taking turns in the bathroom. The shower was a comfort, even if your eyes were drawn to the place you had hidden the weapon. It seemed you had repressed the memories; they were nothing more than a sick feeling in your chest and a few distorted images. Washing your hair thoroughly you had your phone playing your Korean language app. You thought you were doing really well. Upon your return to your secret base, you noticed that your bodyguards had disappeared. Well not all of them. Hoseok was the only one left. Picking up rubbish and folding bits and pieces of stray clothes. 

It was becoming a serious problem how much you needed these boys, but you were in denial pushing it further and further down inside of you. You would deal with it later, whether you liked it or not you knew it would come and you would grieve deeply for each one. 

He smiled towards you, his head bopping to Senorita which played through the small static radio. He was singing rather cutely shuffling around the room. The tank top he was wearing had very low sides and you were trying your hardest not to stare. The two of you danced happily as you cleaned up the rubbish from the ramyeon packets. Dropping three in the bin, Hoseok grabbed your hand and spun you into his chest dancing. 

His body was warm against yours and he was pulling so many faces, each of them serious and sultry. With one swipe of his tongue, accompanied by the body roll of the century, you physically froze, unable to dance anymore. Not with the way your heart was beating harder than the bass in the song. He stopped examining you curiously. Eyes darkening as he noticed the emotion within yours.

The air was electric, like a thunderstorm on a hot day. He made your skin prickle in the most pleasant of ways. His hand on your waist twitched against you. It was hot, everywhere his body touched yours. Burning like a brand on your soft flesh. The smooth Latte tone of his skin made him glow like the sun. Oh, it had been so long since you had seen the sun. How could you not lean further into him?

He smelt like sweet and bitter citrus. A spark of pepper, the sensual haze of patchouli and the rounded notes of cedarwood. They were all such earthy tones that promised nothing more than vitality, intensity and fertility. His eyes flickered between yours trying to identify exactly what was running through your mind. He looked away for a split second to catch his breath. The scent of your skin was fogging up his brain. The saccharine mix of litchi and golden quince. The provocative heart of white chocolate and narcotic Jasmine. Followed by the depth and intoxicating flavour of gin.

He wondered if you would taste just as good, he swallowed thinking about how nice it would feel to press his lips to yours. He wanted you. Right now in this moment, just like this and simultaneously so much more. The way you danced the way you moved, curving your body like an exotic dancer. He knew how he must look and he wasn’t ashamed, seeing your eyes blown as wide as an excited kitten gave him a sense of pride as a man. Knowing you cared about him and wanted him in your life that gave him pride as a person. 

Everyone wanted to be desired, cared for and loved platonically or romantically, Hoseok wasn’t a stranger to these wants. Even if he masked it, behind his laughter, he wanted this feeling. You breathed his name, he shivered his hands releasing your hips and flying into your hair. Lips pressing against yours. It was an explosion. Sparks flying out around you, he was so warm and bright, he was a supernova burning himself into your memory. 

He wiped all other thoughts clean from your mind and replaced them all with his touch, his scent, everything that made him Hoseok. This wasn’t J-Hope the rapper, the dancer, the extraordinaire. This was Jung Hoseok the young man, with a kind heart, big smile and occasionally sad eyes. 

You pulled away from the kiss taking control of the situation, “Hoseok” you gasped catching your breath “you know this isn’t fair on me or you, but I won’t stop it, just please don’t get too attached because you know this won’t last, the quarantine will end and you will go on tour. I don’t think I am worried about my feelings anymore. I am worried about you, all of you”

“Hey hey shh, let’s talk about this later when we are in our right minds” he leaned in kissing you again pulling you to sit on the couch. Enjoying each other’s embrace for a few more minutes.  
“I wonder how you see the world?” Hoseok smiled,

“the same just a little lower to the ground?” Your words had a double meaning and he smiled sadly catching both. You leaned back on the arm of the couch, you were playing with Hoseok’s hands and fingers, intertwining them with yours. He grinned rapping adagio. You don’t know what it was but his voice was lulling you to an almost sleep. 

He watched your hands for a moment before pulling away and tucking you in. There was a quiet knock at the door and Thomas and Areum stepped inside. The three started talking in hushed whispers in Korean you tried to pick up the words you had been practising, only catching a few before Hoseok switched to English not happy with the conversation. “Thomas you can’t go,”

“It’s me or her and I can’t let them shove her out in a faulty breather”  
“Look Namjoon contacted a few people and is looking for a spare breather you just have to hold out a little longer”  
“They want it to happen tomorrow night there isn’t much time left, for this to happen, they have to get Mister lee across town to the hospital in the fog and back with less than ten minutes avoiding thieves and not dying”

“I wish they would stop pumping that disinfectant into the streets” Hoseok huffed. “Look, Areum will tell them we might, might have a volunteer, in hopes to stall them. We will take a vote before dinner. If we get no better ideas then you can take her place.”

It was almost painful not being able to react and tell your brother to stay inside, but you were scared the mention of the outside made you shake. You tried to not make it obvious, not wanting to blow your cover but you thought perhaps you had some sort of Stockholm syndrome to this building and particularly the basement. You knew you were safe here and here alone. Part of you was glad, glad that it wasn’t you, glad you didn’t have to go out again. They left and you laid there staring into the darkness shadows bending and weaving into strange and dangerous figures looming over you.


	15. 01/04/2020

It seemed sleep wasn’t going to come easily. Every time you closed your eyes, the memories played out like a distorted Spanish guitar. You were sweating, not every scenario was real, some you were captured or killed. It wasn’t until you saw the meeting in your head, you saw them vote and watched your brother walk out the building, dying a hundred different deaths. It was unbearable especially as he fell onto the ground face morphing into Seokjin’s. His handsome face, smiling up at you. 

“Don’t cry” Seokjin wasn’t here it was all in your Mind. You tried to push the thoughts away, he was the tide pushing and pulling you in but the water was growing weaker. Retreating, pulling further from the land and leaving you behind. You looked for something to help him. He was dying. There was nothing you could do, focusing back unable to speak from the sharp pain in your throat like you had swallowed knives. 

This was stupid you blinked at the dark ceiling you weren’t asleep. What was this? hallucinations? You were having some mild form of a panic attack and couldn’t move. Frozen in shock. 

Yoongi took his place, pulling off his helmet and smiling just as content as he always was. He beckoned you closer, taking hold of your cheek with his palm, placing a slow desperate kiss to your lips. The kiss was beautifully orchestrated leaving your body humming against his. Turning his head it became a more lively kiss, lips burning a trail against your jawline. “Jagiya, don’t miss me too much okay” Hoseok’s voice shocked you as you pulled away. 

Namjoon laid there out of breath “remember our promise, even if I’m not there you promised” he held up a pinky, you went to link it with yours but his hand fell limp into your lap. 

You couldn’t take it anymore. Stepping out the secret base to see Jimin lying on the ground of the hallway looking up at you. You almost screamed at the thought your imagination had finally taken over. From above, his eyes appear glassy and his lips turning blue as he wore the broken suit. He gasped your name. 

“Y/n hey why are you up?” You blinked. He really was there. Not dying but definitely sleepy, wearing long black pants and a jumper. “I am just going to the bathroom, go inside and I will be in soon,” he nodded, gathering his things and stumbled into the room. You stepped into the bathroom, relieving your taut bladder. Jimin hadn’t noticed your puffy eyes in the dark, you shivered looking up to the ledge for the weapon. If your brother was going at least he could go armed. A figure standing in the corner of the bathroom, hazard suit-clad arms extended out eyes milky white. 

“I can’t see” his voice was a deeper note and the form fell to the ground clutching their throat crying. “I don’t like this” the figure seemed to come into view. It was Taehyung. He looked up at the ceiling foam escaping his mouth. Cloudy eyes searching for something or someone before he let out a final tiny whimper. 

Shaking your head, you went to grab the gun from the ledge, he went still leaving you with the body of Jungkook. So still and looking so small, and innocent. The gun landing in your hands felt a rush of emotions, power, control, safety. You opened the stall door sick of these stress induce hallucinations. Washing your hands and your face, in the icy cold water that seemed to pinch at your skin. Looking up to see the boys standing behind you dead from the poison, your brother had been shot through the head. 

You knew you had made your decision, these images would haunt you if you let any of them take your place. Tying your hair back and forming a plan. You could navigate the fog better than the others stuck in the building. You grabbed the backpack you stole from the lost and found and placed the weapon inside. Watching Jimin’s blankets slip off his body, you smiled softly. Yes, this was the right decision, you couldn’t live with yourself if any of them got hurt. Tucking him back in you whispered. 

“Goodnight sexy,” you gently brushed his hair out of his eyes, glancing at his soft round lips. Thoughts beginning to wonder if he would get mad if you stole a kiss. You briefly pressed your lips to his, he came alive against you. Hands touching your face, running down your body, his soft lips molding to yours. He moaned your name squeezing your thighs in his hands, moving them only to palm your ass firmly. Pulling away before he did anything he would regret you headed out, taking the elevator to the sixth floor. Translating your speech onto your phone notes, as it ascended. Arriving at the designated floor, you approached the small group gathered around reception. 

“I am here to escort the gentleman to the hospital faulty suit or not” the HR officer and the doctor who worked in the infirmary turned shocked by your Korean. “It’s not the suit it’s the breather, the filter is cracked, the tiny system still runs just we can’t guarantee you won’t get traces of poison seeping through.” “How much?” “Anywhere from three to twenty-five percent.”

“Please get him ready, and I will need to borrow a car. Do you think you can do that?” “You can’t drive in the fog?” “I think I can, if you want him there alive that is,” you hissed back “Here are his car keys, we can control the underground parking to let you out” “Well, excuse me while I pack some supplies for the trip” you went to your brother's room with water and food leaving it there for him. 

Taking his phone you sent a text to the Bangtan Boys group chat saying he had left and that you were on the sixth floor being restrained until his return. Taking the door handle apart quickly, thanking your brother was the opposite of you, a heavy sleeper. Reversing the handle, the key lock was inside and the turn lock as on the outside. You pocketed the key. 

Moving on it was now almost three in the morning. It would be starting to lighten soon, you got suited up and the HR officer handed you the breather, I tried to fix it, it might last another half an hour or not but it’s the best I can do. You took the older gentleman mister lee to his vehicle in the basement. Using the remote key locking to find his car, placing him in the back seat, laying him down. 

“Please don’t scratch my car?” He was breathless and seemed rather nervous. “I won’t” you rolled your eyes scoffing audibly, and then looked back with a cheeky grin “Which side of the road do I drive on?” you didn’t turn on the lights moving quietly. As the gate slid open to let you out. 

“It’s a quiet engine I will give you that,” moving through the fog quickly you got onto the long empty highway travelling a little faster. You passed something big scraping the side of the car knocking off a side mirror. The car was being shot at and you clipped whoever denting the hood. You weren’t going too fast so you knew they wouldn’t be dead, at worst a broken arm from the fall. What took you 2 hours to walk the GPS said 13 minutes. Three more minutes than you had time for. 

You pushed the car a little faster watching the GPS for directions and you arrived at the hospital, swiping his card before getting him inside. They looked at you as you pulled off the faulty headpiece and they took mister lee who thanked you. 

“Don’t thank me I took off the side of your car” “You drove” the nurse paled “Yup” you acted nonchalant checking out your nails and waiting for them to leave. You went to their side room and found multiple breathers but you knew it was for the paramedics to save some people. You hated how you couldn’t bring yourself to steal it. 

You begrudgingly looked away towards at the filter on your hip; it still seemed to be holding itself well enough. You scanned mister lee’s card on the vending machine grabbing a cold coke. Half your job was done, now you just had to get back. A radio chimed through a broken message and hospital security brought out guns running off around the hospital.

“What’s going on?” catching one of the guards as he ran past, he looked you up and down seemingly on alert. “It seems a group of gunman are heading this way, someone hit one of the men with their car and now they are coming after them, we are locking down the hospital,” Your blood ran cold and you chased after him. “Let me out.” 

“We can’t do that ma’am” He didn’t even look at you, “we are hoping they will just pass through” “it was me I hit the guy,” They acknowledge what you said and you pulled out your gun. “Let me out, I led them here I can lead them away” They backed up and let you walk out, slipping your headpiece back on before racing to the car. The engine purred softly to life. Half your job was done, now you just had to get back.


	16. 02/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 100 points to whoever deciphers Yoongi's swears haha..

Jimin woke early the next morning sitting up, grabbing his phone for light to search the room. He noticed a notification from Thomas. It was a message, saying he had volunteered and you were restrained on the sixth floor. Blood running cold, he grabbed his things and ran tripping over the blanket tangled around his legs. He took the elevator up to the Bangtan meeting room bouncing on the balls of his feet feeling sick. If your brother had left it meant you were distraught and alone on the sixth floor probably locked in some small room. He wanted to hit himself, he was on guard duty making sure you were safe. How could he let you trick him into falling asleep on the job?

He busted into the meeting room and switched on the light earning a shrill growl and a pillow to the face from Yoongi. “Turn the F****** light out! You ******* **** *** ****** before I ram my ******* shoe up your ******* ***** *** ************* **** *** ****** *** ***** of **** **** my *** ********* **** and **** **** you and then maybe you might ******* learn how to **** your ***** *****.” All the members had sat up rubbing their eyes listening to the tiny rapper flip out over being woken so early in the morning.

“Thomas is gone and Y/N is being restrained on the sixth floor, did you not read the text?” They all whipped out their phone sobering up enough to comprehend the severity of the situation. They sat there all morning waiting for you to step out of the sixth floor, some waited in the basement some on the main floor and a few on the fifth floor by the stairwell. It wasn’t until Jimin got sick of waiting, this was his fault and he needed to make it right. 

Heading up the stairs he knocked on the door and the receptionist smiled politely. “Mister Park Jimin, How can I help you?” She said brushing her hair behind her ear. It was usually amusing watching others swoon over him, it used to make him feel good and gave him a sense of accomplishment. If not belonging, like someone out there actually liked him even if it was just for the way he looked.

But you were different after getting to know that there were people like you he didn’t want to have people stare at him like that. You were just an average person, nothing grandiose, nothing overly special. You were just there and kind. Jimin guessed that’s what he needed. His life was already so wild and crazy he didn’t need any more wild and crazy. He thought you were perfect for him, because you didn’t like him because of his fame, and you didn’t like him despite it. When he explained his new song Filter you had said that you didn’t want him to be anything, in particular, you just wanted him around. He knew you wouldn’t be the only one in the world who thought that but right now there was no one but you.

~

Whilst this was happening in the basement Jungkook and a Dazed Yoongi waited for the others to return. Jungkook paced back and forth, he knew this wouldn’t help but he needed to do something to keep his mind off things. He had just finished off his third bottle of water stress drinking to keep himself busy, but now he really had to go to the bathroom. Walking to the bathroom he relieved himself rolling his shoulders and neck. He was tense, this was getting to him. With his head angled upward towards the ledge, he got curious heading over trying to reach the weapon you had placed up there and came up empty. 

Something was fishy about that. Heading back inside the secret base he broke the silence. “The gun is gone?”  
“The what sorry?”  
“Y/n, She had a gun, I think she stole it from the bad men on the streets, she hid it for safekeeping but, it’s gone.”

~

One floor up sitting in the lobby, Seokjin and Taehyung sat facing the elevators playing on their phones, well at least Seokjin was. Taehyung, however, was staring at the message Thomas had sent. Something seemed odd, Was it the fact that Thomas usually wrote in English of that the sentence structure was too formal and to odd for Thomas. Perhaps it was the ellipses after a few words. It was definitely odd and yet somehow very familiar.

He wanted to see you again growing bored and sad. Knowing you must be scared at the idea your brother was out there, he opened your chat. You had all swapped phone numbers over ramen after your pinky swear with Namjoon. Hoping they hadn’t taken your phone away, he started writing you a text. Eyes glancing at the last message he had received. There it was the dreaded ellipses, he knew he recognized your way of writing. Everything came in three’s the full stops the emoji’s he flickered back and saw the three emoji’s ‘Thomas’ had sent and slapped Seokjin.

“Hyung, Thomas isn’t outside! Look!” Thrusting the phone into his hyungs face the older man getting a little annoyed by the suddenness of his dongsaeng ruining his game.  
“What do you mean?”

~

Meanwhile, Namjoon Hoseok and Namjoon were walking the fourth floor when they heard a muffled sound from Thomas’ office. The confusion filled their wide eyes as they saw the door handle had been reversed. “Hello?” Hoseok called against the door the banging stopped.  
“Hoseok, is that you?” Their eyes widened ripping the door opened. Coming face to face with Thomas.

~

“I am looking for Y/N” he said looking around, not noticing the woman’s smile fall. Too busy trying to spot you in down the halls. When he couldn’t find you he turned back growing impatient. “Where is she?”

“She went out?” The woman replied meekly. That was the thing she smiled at him saw what she wanted to see but she didn’t know him and when he showed his true colours she shied away.  
“She headed back downstairs?” Pulling out his phone. Why hadn’t the others texted him, to say she had returned. “No, sir. She headed out-outside… the building”

“No, she what!?” He ran down the stairs calling the group chat.  
“Guy’s she is gone!”  
“Yeah we know,” Taehyung and Seokjin starred into the camera with no care to how they looked. “Thomas doesn’t text in three’s, we need to meet up”

“Speaking of, we found Thomas, everyone meets in the lobby in five minutes”  
“We are already headed up, Jungkook told me she has a gun?”  
“A what?” Thomas shouted. “When I tried to leave my office this morning and couldn’t as she had reversed the handle, I realized she wasn’t asleep when we spoke. She wakes up to the smallest of noises. She heard everything and she left.

“What do we do?” Taehyung asked the group, trying to get some sort of closure or plan of action. “We could try the radio?”  
“The mask had ten minutes max, that and the bad guys on the street, it takes two hours on foot through the streets of Seoul,” Namjoon said sadly, he was never one to create false hope.

“Look we don’t know that and we are no worse off if we try, right?” Hoseok asked, Trying to bring the morale of the team back up, but mostly trying to distract himself from the thought of you being gone forever. “It’s too early to grieve”


	17. 03/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Listen to RM’s - ‘Do you’ 
> 
> This chapter was a rushed edit as I got a notification on my computer saying my storage was full (which doesn't happen ever like ever, ever) Anyway so I had programs crashing so I just posted it and I will either return and edit it properly or we will just deal with it and move on.

You were driving back thinking deeply about your decisions, were you playing with fate or had you saved your brother. Chewing your lip as you continued down the foggy street humming along to the radio when you saw the slight glow of headlights in the fog. It was like someone added a dry ice machine to the world's worst rave party. It had to be them. They were moving cautiously and headed straight for you. Throwing the car into reverse you laughed, the sound coming out like a mechanical wheeze from your breather remembering your driving instructor's words from your final exam. “Why are you better at reversing than actually driving?”

With the extra help of reverse sensors, you easily manoeuvred out of the way, heading off down a side road. The GPS chiming every seven seconds. ‘gyeonglo jae gyesan.’ The headlights seemed to multiply each following you down the thankfully wide streets. They were coming for you. You sped up taking the next turn still entirely in reverse. Your blood was pumping in your ears and you were laser-focused.

With one hand grabbing your bag and the weapon, the other threw open the door. Your heart was racing as you jumped from the vehicle scuffing the gloves and knees of the suit. The suit was officially compromised, and you were certain the abrasions on your knees were bleeding at least that’s what you guessed from the sharp sting radiating down your shins. Memories of falling in dance class and picking yourself up. The show must go on. The show must always go on.

The car went up onto the curb and hit a tree, the GPS calling out desperately once more. You rolled your eyes, it would be impossible to forget those words after today. Each step was torture as you sprinted down the street, passing by many restaurants and convenience stores. Every now and then you tried a handle or a window desperate to get inside. It felt like a reflection of yourself unable to let anyone in so of course everywhere would be locked. You knew this whole thing was more than skin deep, you sincerely wished there was someone out there who wanted you.

But the more you pondered these thoughts over the week the more you realized that it stemmed from you not liking yourself looking down on yourself and giving up all the time. What you really needed wasn’t someone to love you, but you to love yourself. It was hard not to scoff, those damn boys had an effect on you and every day with them you felt the walls slip a little further. Revealing who you really were because you had been wearing a mask, smiling and saying yes, you let their words get to you. All those No’s in auditions everything. Funny how when the adrenaline kicks in your brain starts to work super-efficiently.

Pushing yourself to move faster and faster, your boot got caught on the pavement. Unable or unwilling to stop, you staggered dramatically back into a rhythm. Slipping down a side street with your gun in hand, moving around barely visible obstacles. Navigating through a garden and over a small concrete bench. “gyeonglo jae gyesan” you repeated the GPS’s dying words with a grin.

You were still alive. This was good and surprisingly exhilarating like an extreme game of ‘Tag’ or what you would expect those first-person shooter games to be like. Still heading towards the BigHit building you scanned the fog for something or somewhere to hide. They were surrounding the area. Soon you would be stuck out in the open.

Reaching the last store on the block you could hear voices coming from ahead of you. Trying the window, it opened. The urge to cry was strong from your small but valid success, but you held it in. There were people waiting for you, you would make it back even if you lost all your limbs. As you got back, you would watch that drama Taehyung was in and tease him relentlessly even though you knew he would have done great. Climbing in you slid the window shut behind you, lifting your breather to take an experimental breath. The air was clean.

If there was an alarm tripped, it wasn’t audible for the intruder, you weren’t particularly worried about anyone coming to check though as everyone was on lock-down, but if so you believed your excuse to be adequate. You searched everywhere for a first aid kit, removing the suit to patch up your hands and knees. Your dominant side had taken the brunt of the fall, so you took care to wrap it firmly. One roll of duct tape later, and you had repaired your suit. Hearing voices you noticed; they were scoping the place. Grabbing everything you could in a rush you ran out the back to hear the shop door jingle.

The phrase your blood went cold was almost an understatement. Your whole being seemed to turn to ice. Looking around trying to find a place to hide and entering the freezer, waiting behind some boxes. After half an hour you suspected they had left you stepped out gun drawn and saw they were over by the counter raiding the cigarette cabinets. They had left their breathers on the shelf behind them. An ultimatum, leave now and risk the breather or risk your life to get a working breather whilst also risking the virus if they were infected.

Sneaking forward across the aisles you gripped your weapons and took the breather stepping back one at a time. Perhaps you could trap them inside and they wouldn’t be able to harm anyone. Stepping backwards, you grabbed the breather with no time to switch and began running. You ran straight into one of the men raising your gun to him, breathing hard through your breather it started to rattle a little. But you didn’t falter.

“Put it down?” He smirked at your request.

“Dumb foreigner if you shoot they will come here and find you” he placed down his gun and you and took his walkie talkie telling him to lay on the ground. Once he was halfway down, you ran down the stairs and over fences, moving this way and that as you heard him call for the others. Vehicles had started up and you did your best, your breath was rattling loudly and you couldn’t switch masks without the gas getting into the next mask.

It took everything to get to the supply centre but when you finally did your lungs burnt, you entered inside and ripped off your mask. They looked at you shocked. As you tried to flush out the poison with water. They treated you quickly, they didn’t have many medical supplies left as they all went to the hospital. Reaching into your pocket you to the walker talkie and turned it on.

“Hello this is Y/N” you breathed


	18. 04/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a crazy chapter. I legitimately finished the first post-it note worth of story plot, but there are three more post-it notes worth of events and I am writing more. This fic has got to last the length of the quarantine. Or so help me!

“Hello this is Y/N” you breathed completely exhausted from your expedition. If you ever had to run again in this life it would be way too soon. But you weren’t holding your breath, expecting it would happen sooner than you wished. Too tired to even hold the radio, you laid back on the small linoleum mattresses and waited for a response. It seemed almost instantaneous when you heard the reply. 

“Hello Y/N, is that you, what’s happening” it was your brother his voice sounding full of emotion. You wondered if he was pissed you had locked him in his office. He would definitely be pacing like he always did when he was nervous.“Where the hell are you?”

“I am on my way back, resting at the supply centre.” 

“Why did you leave?” Jimin asked his voice soft and a little distant from the walkie talkie, he must have felt bad being the one who accidentally let you leave. “we were all worried about you”

There was an unexplained rush of energy flowing through you. The idea that they were waiting was nice. “I will be back as soon as my legs decide to cooperate, I just needed a-” 

The walkie talkie you had stolen from the man on the street buzzed to life, a voice calling. “Ya foreigner, I know you are there?”

“What was that?” Namjoon asked

“I stole a walkie from one of the gunmen”

“When did you steal a walkie!?!”

“Yeah, after I stole his gun”

“Gun!?” Hoseok was shocked, you bit your lip, a fraction amused with how this situation was playing out. “You stole a gun?”

“I stole his gun as I was running away from them-”

“YA! Foreigner, you think you so smart because you took our breathers, you listen, we don’t let anyone take from us”

“Excuse me while I answer this,” leaving your finger held down on the first walkies PTT (push to talk) button, taking the second walkie talkie. While the one from BigHit was an emergency use one with a fluorescent orange colour, the next was all black and worn. “ _ Are _ ...You think you _ are _ so smart, learn English”

“Listen here you little bitch, you will not get past us again, we have guns”

“I have two of your guns already, I am not really worried, buddy”

“I am not your buddy, and you only have one”

“I hit one of your men over the head with a tank a few days ago and stole his too”

There was a ruckus on the line, they were furious, sending death threats you let them rant for a while. Switching off their walkie talkie, to focus on the one linking you to your brother and friends at BigHit. “So, I should be back by tomorrow, I just have to sneak past those idiots again. Oh, and I was in a convenience store for a while and I filled my backpack with snacks, using Mister Lee’s credit card. Also, I think I wrote off his car, poor guy does insurance cover reversing down the streets and hitting a tree”

“YOU WHAT!!” Your brother sounded like he was going to have an angina, with the amount of stress he was having. You were brought a meal to eat from the people working in the centre and you thanked them with a bright smile.

“I said I reversed into a tree, but listen, listen, here is the part I am most proud of. I lived. I have never felt more ready to take on the world than right now” 

“Look that’s how people get killed okay they get too cocky, anyway they are roaming the streets I don’t think you can get back, they have warned people in the buildings not to leave until they stop walking the streets.”

“I got past them once, I can do it again,” Feeling a little hurt that they didn’t believe in you. You would show them, you had to, they needed to know how strong you really were.

“I am going back and you can’t stop me,” You huffed eating some of the kimchi jjigae, pulling a face as you accidentally inhaled some of the chilli broth. You would have preferred eating some of the snacks you had collected from the convenience store but you thought it best to wait to share it with the boys. You also didn’t want to offend your hosts who graciously made you these meals, “I want to hang out with my friends and stay in the secret base”

The walkie seemed to be handed to someone else and for a split second you heard someone suspiciously like Taehyung whisper, “you can’t tell her that.”

“Look here is the thing, we aren’t your friends?” Namjoon’s voice clear and cold. It was like a shot through the heart. You didn’t want to believe him, it was just one sentence. You knew they were just saying it so you wouldn’t come back. It was a lie.

“You don’t mean that you just want me to stay here” Your voice was soft and weak. Feeling hurt, you hadn’t felt this much pain since your last audition the final one when you decided you wouldn’t open your heart to anyone or anything anymore.

It seemed your walls had slipped so much more than you realised, feeling like closing in on yourself you held your ground. No, this wasn’t about them, you didn’t care what they thought or who they were this was about you. And you were like one of the heroes in all those teen movies, you were the Katniss in the Hunger Games, you were Tris in the Divergent, you were Harry Potter in his own self titled franchise, if, you know he was a female. 

“I know you are joking so say whatever you want I am coming back,” To your surprise, your voice broke and you felt the beginning of tears drifting down your cheeks.

“We used you,” Jin said bluntly his voice sounded like it was mocking you, “We are stuck inside all we wanted was to get in your pants”

“No, we watched Drama’s together” there was a bubble in your throat that you tried to swallow down. Namjoon was talking to your brother in the background calming him down.

“I kissed you because Jin told me you would let me, but I left cause I am not attracted to you,” Yoongi’s voice as always was level and had no emotion “You’re not my type”

“You don’t have to romantically like me to be friends” 

Hoseok took the Walkie and you felt tense, you couldn’t hear another one of the boys say they didn’t want you, especially not Hoseok, you two had gotten rather close. He was the one you opened up to and told him all your worries and fears.

“Look I will be honest. I don’t want to hurt you, but they are serious. We play around with girls a lot, you really aren’t special, usually, we don’t tell them this because we usually leave on tour but we would rather if you didn’t come back and if you do, please don’t look for us again. We don’t want to talk. Making out was nice and fun, but that’s it, my only regret...” There was a pause and you were sobbing into your hand “is that I didn’t try to sleep with you before the feeling wore off”

You switched off the Walkie and fell back on the bed, it wasn’t quiet and it surely wasn’t pretty like in the movies but you cried hysterically. The people came to check on you trying to get you to stop scream crying. They tried their best before they decided there was nothing they could do and chose instead to sedate you for the night.


	19. 05/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the beginning of self-discovery, I want y/n to be able to thrive without the boys first. So though YN is depressed which who wouldn't be after hearing anyone say that about them, give it time and there will be growth and learning and just so much more. I don't want Y/N to be helpless without a man you know? I want all my readers to know how badass they are without a man first and instead of the girl absolutely starstruck by the boys, I want the reality that is misunderstandings and lies and disappointment before it grows into something beautiful and romantic because the good stuff doesn't come easy.
> 
> Just like the Quarantine, it isn't the easiest thing to handle and it brings on these feelings which are very human and natural to feel, stress, despair even depression. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel so stick to your path and walk it every gruelling step of the way because you will eventually reach the other side and breathe the fresh air.

The boys felt sick. Never in their lives had they torn someone down as they did with you. It was all a lie, but they couldn’t tell you that. As much as it hurt them to hurt you, they would rather you hate them if it meant you were safe. None of the boys were ready for what was to follow. The supply centre announced your disappearance late the next day. Having taken your bag and Walkie Talkie without a trace. However, no matter how many times they reached out, you didn’t answer. 

Had you been hurt or killed? Their only solace came from the men walking the street because if they were still searching it meant they hadn’t found you yet. Taehyung used the walkie talkie every night before bed, he apologised profusely, wishing you would come back and telling you all about his day. 

He missed you, greatly. Jimin was no better having barely eaten, blaming himself for you being in danger. The boys had to bring him his meals and even then they had to encourage him to eat. 

A week had passed since they last heard from you and the food supplies had dropped not just for their building but for the rest of the area. Unfortunately with the men outside, they were unable to retrieve more foodstuff. Having multiple reports explaining what was happening the military confirmed they would send out a team, whenever they were next available to try to detain the gunmen. One evening the radio’s between the buildings started going off, someone had delivered supplies to three buildings at the end of the street. 

Talk about supplies being delivered gained traction as it happened at least once every evening, to alternate buildings. The health centre explained they had no clue who was taking the supplies and delivering them. Each night the deliveries came closer and closer to their building. 

“Could it be Y/N?” Namjoon asked quietly tapping his fingers on the table, the name was a Taboo, it sent them all into a depressive spiral for hours. 

“Our building is next so we will find out tonight, we should wait in the lobby” Jungkook whispered

The group made their plan, taking their bedding and heading to the first floor. It was getting late, they stared out the glass walls for any sign of you. Each one hoping that their building was indeed next like Jungkook had said. Not meaning to doze off, they couldn’t help it when their bodies fell asleep, exhausted despite their efforts. 

It wasn’t all for nothing there had been a delivery, in the garage elevator. They just needed the footage and then it would be clear if the Good Samaritan was you. 

The end of the week brought with it the armed forces to take control of the situation. Why hadn’t they waited, the military might have been able to return you safely. The gunmen had left the area in peace, the men from the army taking it upon themselves to make food deliveries. But even they had to get back to work, outside of the city. When the military left the gunmen returned as did the second round of disinfectant gas through the city, the fog thickened once more. 

~

You were walking supplies to the hospital, raising your fist to knock and leaving the wagon at the door. They took the delivery thanking you via you had made several deliveries to the hospital this week. They asked you if you needed anything and you declined, walking back to your new base. It wasn’t homely like your other one, you didn’t think you could make another base like it, not because of resources but because of emotion. 

The people between the hospital and the supply centre called you dead eyes when they thought you weren’t listening but you didn’t mind. You didn’t really feel much of anything, maybe it was truly better this way. You rounded the corner looking at the car you had written off, you had written an apology to mister Lee explaining what you had done and he seemed grateful to just be alive. 

Climbing through the convenience store window you shut it quickly behind you pulling off your mask. It was quiet and had been so for days, a whole week had passed since you spoke to them. You didn’t refer to them by name and tried not to think about them often. Preferring to sit and read Korean magazines on the shelves slowly. You currently had an IOU list in the store using mister Lee’s credit card, but surprisingly you didn’t eat much apart from a packet of noodles once a day. 

Laying in the small staff room out the back you got comfortable on the carpet, checking in on the radio as you did every morning. Just making sure everyone was safe in that area of town. As you laid there your back would click and clunk back into position while you waited for the darkness to take over. The fog was starting to lift a little making walking during the day that much more dangerous. 

You heard the military was being called in for two days to perform routine patrols, planning to arrest the gunmen. The supply centre had agreed to keep your identity anonymous, especially after seeing you have an epic meltdown. You had informed a young woman who worked there what had happened and she consoled you for hours after you woke from sedation. She refused them from telling any of the civilians who you were but you allowed her to explain it to the soldiers. 

You stayed inside for the two days the cadets roamed the street, determining that the area was secure and deliveries were being made; you had no reason to leave. 

These two days were hell, with nothing to distract you, your mind filled with their words. The mocking tone of Seokjin’s voice and the downright heart-piercing bitterness in Hoseok’s confession haunted you every waking moment, but what was worse was falling asleep and having them kiss you once more like everything was okay. 

Their moans and wandering hands and how you felt so safe with them. This was your own personal hell because when you woke up, you almost expected to see them there with you, only to have reality rip you apart once more. The wounds were still fresh. 

Returning to the supply centre after a short break, you really didn’t sleep much having passed out once in the staff room two days prior. The soldiers urged you to return to your building saying they could protect you better if you were indoors safe. 

Peeling an orange but not eating it, you sighed listening to them talk about leaving that evening to return back to their base. There wasn’t much they could do if they couldn’t find the gunmen. Handing the now peeled citrus fruit to the young woman who you had half confided in. 

Your Korean had gotten so good you were proud, able to speak it, read and write it fairly quickly. When you are completely alone in Korea where everything you see and all the people they speak Korean well then you are bound to pick up the language quickly. 

The cadets left late that night, leaving behind a four-man squad to keep the Health centre protected and you sat turning on the radios, it was silent as usual. 


	20. 06/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter made me very happy we are finding a little more about Y/N’s personality. So far we know she is Adaptable, Stubborn, Emotional, a real Chaotic Good. She makes her own way a free spirit and a good heart. She won’t sit around if there is something she can do. Giving Y/N depth and character and own personal struggles besides that with the love interest. 
> 
> The boys will be learning valuable lessons in the next chapter. So stay tuned.

“You can’t just abandon the people when they need help!” The tired doctor hissed into the phone, his hair disheveled and the bags under his eyes extremely noticeable. You had just returned from delivering supplies. “Too many safety hazards, what about the safety of the people?”

“What’s going on?” You asked the young woman who was in charge of logging each supply run while watching the doctor pace the room. Pulling yourself to sit onto the health center's desk and Casually juggling three mandarins much to the young children’s amusement, there was a boy who had a broken leg, a teen in all black trying to look indifferent after an appendicitis and a young girl with a chemical burn. 

“The hospital has stopped sending out the paramedics when the sun goes down, the drivers have almost resulted in a few crashes and then with the number of gangs out there taking supplies and such. It’s too risky” the woman said, the doctor looked so angry you could almost see smoke coming from his ears. 

“What about if people are dying?”   
She looked up at you surprised no one really got to hear you speak more than one sentence at a time, “They say they can't do anything about it”  
“If that’s the case I will go to them, and perform in-home care, until morning. Or if they are safe to move then I will do so to wherever is closest otherwise, I will wait with them until morning”

The Doctor turned to you hearing your words and started talking rapidly into the phone. After several minutes he put his hand to the receiver “Are you seriously willing to do this? you will be required to learn first aid and CPR” You nodded, having until the sun was down to learn all the basics. Lucky for you, you passed the advanced day course and were given instructions. 

The moment night fell you would be directed to any call outs, the first was a child who split their head open by a falling snow globe, they sent a photo of the severity. The doctor at the clinic explained it could easily be glued shut as it wasn’t too big and to deliver some paracetamol elixir. You took the motorized scooter which you had attached one of the wagons on the back and hurried down the streets. Something about this felt different, the numbness seemed to ease and you were able to feel the weight of your decision. 

Yes, leaving the BigHit building had initially been a reckless decision made to spite others, then it was taken from your hands and you were practically forced to go. But this was your decision, this wasn’t to impress anyone or to show off, this was doing what you wanted and what you thought was right by your morals. You couldn’t sit around while people were in need of help. With your bag in the front basket and gun over your shoulder, you moved quickly through the streets.

Arriving at the house you followed the instructions of the doctor. Sealing the wound and checked for any concussion or swelling from the trauma. Smiling at the boy you gave him a sticker of a dinosaur. You told the parents what to do and to call if they had any issues, they thanked you. 

Before you had left there was another emergency, across town an older man was having chest pain. You went straight over, helping him into the Hazard suit with a working breather, placed him in the wagon and rode back to the clinic. The doctor immediately conducted an ECG and determined he was having a heart attack and had been for a while. He was stabilized and you felt your body relax with the relief, he had been such a kind, old man. This was definitely a tough job, but you felt tiny flecks of warmth in your chest. 

Unable to identify the feeling but it wasn’t bad, you were sitting beside the man. He spoke of his wife who was in the hospital and how he wanted to see her. You comforted him and as he relaxed he asked you about your life. When and why you came to Korea, and about the man you were in love with. You winced. 

“What happened?”  
“Uh it’s complicated” Taking your leave going to the vending machine for a coffee and something to eat, you were still using Mister Lee’s card the IOU list was gradually getting bigger. As you walked past the room you hear the nurse telling the older gentleman about what had happened to you. Calling it a night you shuffled to the clinic’s staff room, it was almost morning and it had gotten quiet. But before you made it to the door, the radio went off again a woman had gone into labour. 

Turning around you headed to the doctor who helped you pack a bag with everything you would need; clamps, sterile instruments and even a pair of Air Pods. Telling you, he would talk to you the whole time and guide you through it. With the address in the GPS, you stepped out wasting no time to cross the town. The doctor was telling you everything you needed to know as you headed over. 

Arriving at the woman’s house, she unlocked the door and you told her to step back. Ducking inside quickly so as to not bring too much poisonous gas into the house, you shut the door behind you. Stripping off the suit and hanging it up you put on your protective gear. 

She was pacing, breathing heavily and rubbing her stomach. You spoke to her in Korean and she looked at you so scared her husband was stuck across town in his company face-timing her. 

You set up an area on the ground laying out a plastic tarp, you were wearing goggles and a medical mask, you washed your hands slipping on gloves. You had acquired all of these from the store. Asking the woman to let you check how far along you were, not wanting to reveal you didn’t know what you were doing. 

Feeling extremely unprepared, but knowing help wouldn’t come until the next morning you squared your shoulders ready to take on this challenge. You were the only help this woman had. She was stressed enough as it was, you would do your best to pretend you knew what you were doing. This was just like going on stage and playing a role while dancing, you would play this role until you felt that it was truly who you were.

“My name is Y/N, What is yours?”   
“My name is Myunghee,” she said, “have you delivered babies before?”  
“Six” you smiled not wanting to tell you it was your pet cat who had given birth in the kitchen and you just sat around while she did all the work. 

Hiding your fear, the doctor was in your ear guiding you through the steps, you checked how far along she was and hummed she wasn’t quite ready to push yet, at least not to how the doctor explained. Telling her there was still some time. Not enough that you would make it to the hospital but enough time to try to relax.


	21. 07/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little longer and I didn’t get to explore as much as I wanted with the boys but, I think it will get there. But trust me there will be some talking next chapter. The boys are trying to distract themselves while they are feeling pretty rotten and it isn’t going as well as they hoped.
> 
> I posted without editing but I will edit it tomorrow morning when I post the next chapter so stay tuned.

Yoongi had been spending his time in the laundry listening to the constant churn of the machines, he moved the clothes from the washing machine to the dryer. Once they were finished he ironed and folded each piece, at some point he even learned how to hand stitch a few holes in items. He couldn’t stand being alone in his studio, which was such a strange notion and he didn’t know what else to do. It seemed the whir of the machines and the constant moving of his hands, gave him enough time to think. That dreaded conversation overlapping in his head again and again. He cried at some point as embarrassing as it was for him to admit but his words so brutal cut even him when he remembered the tone in which they were spoken.

Taehyung was taking his frustration out on the saxophone, he had locked himself in Jungkook’s studio and was playing obnoxiously loud until his lungs felt like they would give out. He was angry and wanted nothing more than to start a fight but he found this tired him out without bringing the conflict to the group. 

Jimin and Hoseok we’re keeping themselves busy online turning themselves out with posts and lives and people kept asking where the others had gone and why they looked so sad but no matter how hard they tried to deny it they knew they were just trying to escape their problems by focusing on the army. 

Each boy was overextending themselves, Namjoon putting himself into his writing and getting thoroughly pissed at the result of his work. He had stayed up through the night something he didn’t really like to do, walking to their dance lesson both on edge and exhausted. 

The boys were practising their dance routines, not that they had to perform any time soon but with nothing else to do they just kept going over the choreography making sure it was ingrained into their memory. They were partway through the routine when Namjoon turned too quickly his arms held out a fraction further than intended. Smacking Jungkook to the ground. Jungkook felt a pop and he laid there in intense pain, they were worried crowding around.

“Jungkook, I am so sorry, are you okay?” Namjoon asked the younger boy, who was laying on the ground trying to muffle his pain. 

“I’m okay Hyung?” Jungkook spoke through gritted teeth. They tried to help him up despite his yelp and protest. They looked him over trying to examine him for damage when they noticed how his arm was hanging limply from his body.

“It looks worse than it really is” Wincing as he spoke wasn’t exactly convincing them. They contacted their health equivalent within the building who called the hospital for someone to collect him and perform proper care. They didn’t want to damage the shoulder further. 

~

“Please tell me if you feel the urge to push okay, or a stinging sensation. Asking for her clinic book you took pictures sending it to the doctor for him to translate and explain if there were any possible complications. Encouraging her to lean on her couch on her knees you rubbed her back and helped her breathe through it. 

Her husband’s phone died about four hours in and she was crying for him. “He will be back okay” you assured her, “you are doing so well, this is your special moment between you and your baby.”

“I can’t do it without my husband” she cried  
“You can do it, you are tough, you are a beautiful powerful woman and you don’t need a man to prove how strong you are, Myunghee you got this okay, can I check to see if you are progressing?”

You asked nervously, she didn’t want to move and you knew it had to be time. Helping her to get into a comfortable position, Myunghee allowed you to check once more, according to the doctor she was ready and the baby was crowning. She had entered the second stage of labour and was ready to push. 

“Okay on your next contraction I want you to try to push, if it doesn’t feel right I want you to stop but pushing should almost feel relieving. When you push remember to breathe okay your baby needs oxygen. I will count for you each contraction you push for ten seconds okay” She nodded and the next contraction came and she started to push. 

“Breathe out two three four five in seven eight nine ten, okay how did that feel,” you said she nodded pushing continued for twenty minutes and Baby’s head was almost out “okay I need to check that the chord isn’t around the baby's neck so if I tell you to stop pushing, you have to stop, it will be hard but think about your baby okay at that moment think about how strong you are okay”

She nodded and she began pushing again and you told her to stop, she did her body shaking and she cried out. “The cord is around the baby’s neck, let me move it okay”

You unravelled the cord and she was whimpering in pain. “Okay next push and I think your baby will be out. So big push okay use all your muscles okay” she nodded and you had moved everything you had sterilized in hot water. You didn’t have to wait long but you took a deep breath and got ready.

The baby came out and you caught it in a towel using a sterilized turkey baster to suction any fluid from the nose and the baby cried instantly. Taking the clamps from the bag and clamping the umbilical cord either side to be safe you cut it. In the middle, you wiped the baby down and smiled “it’s a little girl” you grinned and she held her baby in her arms. She began breastfeeding and you did a quick amount of research on breastfeeding and gave her some tips. 

You relayed the tips and she seemed grateful for the help, you waited to help her deliver the afterbirth and checked that it was completely whole and you smiled helping her into the shower and getting dressed. She laid on the bed and you handed the baby over. 

“I will stay and watch over you both until the other doctor comes” you measured and weighed the baby. You prepared some food for Myunghee and checked she was okay every few hours and you smiled telling the father his wife was sleeping and showed him his daughter telling him how much she weighed and how tall she was and the time she was born. 

He was ecstatic, “I will get her to call you the moment she wakes up” he continued to thank you. She woke later to the baby’s cries and you smiled. “How are you feeling, your so tough, your daughter will definitely be proud of her mother”

Myunghee smiled “I couldn’t have done it without you, you were really amazing you made me feel safe”  
“Yes you could have done it on your own, you got a call while you were asleep, I told him everything went well and you were both resting, tell him about how good you were”

She smiled talking on the phone with her husband and showing off their daughter, the walkie talkie went off. You moved away from her to answer, “this is Y/N. Miss Bu Myunghee has successfully given birth to a baby girl weighing 7 pounds 2 ounces and 48 centimetres long, both mother and baby seem quite well and are being monitored, there was no tearing or major bleeding from mother and baby is eating well. I can stay until the doctor comes out?”

“That would be ideal, please keep on the lookout for any signs of regression” they explained what to look out for and you nodded heading back inside.   
“Come here” Myunghee beckoned and you rushed over alarmed.   
“Is something wrong?”

“Miss we would like you to be our baby’s godmother,” the father asked in English and you looked shocked.   
“Really?” You searched their expressions, they smiled nodding back.   
“If you want to, you have done so much for is already”  
“I would love to, what is her name?”

“Choonhee, it means born in spring”  
“Little Choonhee, you are so cute”  
“Would you like to hold her?”  
You held your arm out and gently took the baby and smiled she was so small and your heart warmed with a feeling you thought lost, you tilted your head back crying”

Everything you said to Myunghee, about being strong and thought and that she didn’t need a man that all stemmed from you, that was your subconscious talking to you. You smiled wiping your eyes with your clean sleeve. You felt like you were rebuilding like an epiphany began that this was the pivotal moment. You had been tossing around back and forth your self worth about being nothing and something and it not mattering but now you were sure you were worth it, you always were in the ups and the downs you were worth it”

It took guiding someone else through there fears and suffering to realise you weren’t lacking anything.

~

“We will try to send someone over as soon as possible, Please ice the wound and call back if the situation changes or the issue worsens” The doctor from the clinic hung up feeling light-headed, he turned to the receptionist with a pale face. Staring at her while he dialled your number. 

“What seems to be the problem?” Your voice coming through the phone seems to have more colour than he had heard in a long time”  
“We got a call, for a possible dislocation, there is too much swelling to re-position the joint safely but the problem is, it’s from that building”

“Which building?”  
“BigHit”   
“Oh ok, I will head over, do you know who got hurt?” he blinked, surprised you didn’t completely collapse in on yourself at the mere mention of the company they came from.   
“I think it was Jeon Jungkook”

“I will be around as soon as I can, will Myunghee be okay alone here, after just having a baby?”  
“You have been reporting her and her baby are in excellent condition and the ambulance will be collecting her and her child the moment the sun is out. I will notify the husband to call if anything seems to have gone wrong”   
“Okay I will let her know and then I will head straight over”


	22. 08/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes people are easily lured in with kind words and romantic gestures. Even when we tell ourselves we won’t fall for it sometimes the heart wants what it wants. Please keep healthy relationships built on trust and love. I know sometimes it is hard to see when you are being manipulated but when he comes to apologize with presents and 'I will change' after the fifth time, maybe it's time you move on and leave him. Even if it seems like the hardest decision you will make at the time. I promise it gets easier and better. Don't settle for being a side chick. Don't settle for halfa$$ed treatment. I left this kind of relationship and turned my life around. It was scary but you can do it too. I know this doesn't have much to do with the storyline but the behaviour within this chapter can seem questionable. Luckily our boys are learning and actually growing for the better (and it was a lie to save YN's life) and our heroine Y/N isn't swooning over them. Sure she enjoys the interaction but she doesn't immediately jump to, he loves me. She has a realization of, "NO, Not Today, 언젠가 꽃은 지겠지 But No Not Today."

Once you were certain that Myunghee was safe until morning you suited up and raced back to the health clinic. The doctor was unpacking and repacking your bag, explaining what you should do to help Jungkook when you see him. You were watching him, it was strange after the boys had broke you down it was like all the colour had been stripped from the world and you were in a black and white universe, but slowly the colours were returning. After helping deliver your new goddaughter Choonhee, the world appeared to have tiny flecks of colour if you concentrated hard enough.

“Are you listening?” The doctor asked looking at your face, you couldn’t help hugging him. He had done so much for you and you were truly grateful. “Are you okay?” “Thank you Doctor Chang Min-Jun, for everything, You helped me so much” “I am not dying” he laughed awkwardly patting your back and started explaining the steps again.

He sent you off with a pat on the head and a smile, he didn’t know what had changed your demeanour but he wasn’t going to question it. Taking off on the bike you headed through the city wishing to feel the wind in your hair but unable because of the suits. You radioed your position to the BigHit building before you took the turn onto the street and began speeding towards the entrance.

Passing dark shadowed figures in the street who started yelling and radioing. Thankfully they had opened the glass door covering their faces as you rode in on the motorized scooter pulling the wagon behind.

You stripped out of the suit and looked at them, they seemed tired it was almost three in the morning and there was still another hour before the sun rose. “Where is he?” Speaking entirely in Korean had them shocked and you had to stifle a smile. They gestured to the elevator dumbstruck and you walked over the staff racing after you confused.

As the elevator doors closed you couldn’t help but stare at your reflection, it looked a little gaunt compared to a week ago. The dark circles under your eyes were not a good match for your complexion, appearing like deep bruises. You kind of wished you had taken a shower and perhaps brushed through your hair, but you reminded yourself you were beautiful and unique and you don’t need to impress anyone. Because if you want someone to truly like you for who you were, it wasn’t about playing a role and changing for them it was about being yourself and being accepted.

The doors opened and you headed into the hall your feet already leading you to the BTS meeting room only to find it empty, the staff were confused. It was a strange pull in your chest, an inkling or dare you say, hope that pulled you back to the elevator and press the button for the basement. The doors closed on the staff and you headed down until you reached the familiar white corridor.

The fluorescent lights are a cool tone and the slight burn your eyes as you step out into the hallway, you head along feet feeling heavy. Biting your lip nervously, what were you supposed to say, how would they act you weren’t sure. “Just act professional, you can do this, this is your job”

Before you could even grab the door handle you heard them talking, “Jungkook is still in the shower, should we get him out?” If you said you didn’t miss RM’s voice you would be lying, even laced with worry, it was still deep and smooth and eloquent as you remember. 

“It is probably best to leave him be, the cold water is numbing his shoulder” Seokjin sighed, he sounded tired the complex nuances in his voice were too hard for you to decipher without seeing his expressions. 

You knew you should definitely go in there and announce your arrival but you just didn’t instead you turned to the bathroom and stepped inside, walking down the line of stalls until you reached the shower cubicle. Quickly peeking to see if he was naked before you barged in. Jungkook was standing there in his dark jeans under the jets of cold water, his fingernails and lips had turned blue and his body was shivering. “Jungkook, are you okay? I have some morphine, it will help your shoulder” you whispered and he turned looking down at you through wet bangs, he looked like he was on the verge of tears. 

Taking out your things you started prepping the morphine the doctor gave you one small bottle which would be equivalent to two doses so you gave him exactly one dose. He looked at you and you smiled at him trying not to appear nervous but he held your free hand and ran his thumb over the knuckles. You took a deep breath and did exactly what the doctor had taught you in your advanced first aid. Doctor Chang had been super nice even when you blew two of the veins in the back of his hand and on in his inner elbow before you got it correct. He didn’t wince and the vein didn’t balloon so you took that as a positive sign.

“You should feel it start to work within two minutes and it should peak at twenty, if by any chance you fee-” He pushed you against the tiled wall under the rain of the freezing cold shower. His lips pressed to yours, you shivered against him, trying to warm him up by wrapping your arms against him. As much as you told yourself to stop him, you thought perhaps this was how he was coping with the stress and if it kept him calm while the medication started working you were happy to assist him. Kissing Jungkook was like you were floating it was like an underwater paradise and you were completely submerged by the emotion he was revealing to you. He rolled his hip forward moaning quietly into your mouth and your eyes flew open, you were supposed to be professional. Not kissing your patients. You gently moved him back careful of his arm.

“Jungkook, we have to get you dressed so I can take you back to the clinic and have your shoulder fixed” You walked into the nearby stall, in the bottom of your bag you always carried a spare outfit, a tip from doctor chang, in case you have any unwanted spills or fluids on your clothes. Once dressed you led him to the elevator. Again you knew you should let the boys know that you were taking Jungkook but right now, with his cold hand holding tightly to yours, he became your top priority. The elevator ride was full of awkward stares he opened and closed his mouth but was unable to form a coherent sentence. You guided him into the suit, avoiding any strain on his dislocated arm and helped him lay down in the blue wagon. 

You took off out the door and up the street, you took a different escape route and headed to the clinic. You tried to make the journey as smooth and quick for Jungkook as possible. A shot fired past your ear and you swore moving faster and heading down a side street. You were glad Jungkook was in the wagon and not sitting behind you on the scooter. You couldn’t imagine him in pain, it hurt you too much.

There were more shots sounding off, none of them reaching you, but definitely in your direction, you parked quickly in the clinic garage and pulled Jungkook inside quickly.


	23. 09/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It isn’t particularly long but I like where it ends cause it leaves you on edge and wanting more. Also, I got seven posted notes worth of storyline and each post-it note has three chapters on it so that’s 21 chapters worth. Woooo... and that just covers this first arc I am creating I really hope you are all enjoying this story and that you stick around to make your Quarantine timeless lonely.

Inside the clinic, Jungkook watched you turn off all the lights and shush everyone, the gang were in the area and you couldn’t give away your position. The Doctor who's name tag read Chang seemed to realise the situation and pulled you both out of the waiting room, so you wouldn’t be spotted through the glass doors. “Mister Jeon, I hear you have dislocated your shoulder, how is it feeling?”

“Better after the medicine”

“I administered it on the first go” Jungkook watched you boast proudly with a big grin

“Lucky you” the doctor showed off his hands to him and you smacked his arm, causing Jungkook to chuckle. “Let me look at the damage”

Jungkook watched you leave the room and felt his heart drop, he didn’t want you to leave again, not after he just got you back. The doctor smiled knowingly, “So you are one of the young men who broke her heart?” Jungkook looked down guilty, sliding his shirt down his injured arm. “It was scary, I had never seen anyone react so strongly, we had to sedate her and the next morning she just disappeared. We don’t know exactly what happened between the time she left until her return, but what we do know is she heard about a teenage boy who had appendicitis. She carried him all the way to the hospital on foot and talked to him the whole way there. When she got there she heard the hospital was running out of supplies. She turned walking all the way back and filling up a wagon and walking all the way back. It was her third delivery that we offered her the scooter thinking it would be the best to navigate in the fog. She is a remarkable young girl when the pain and suffering were trying to shut her down, instead of curling up she opened up. If she was to suffer she would gladly take the pain of others if it meant they were happy.”

“I don’t know what happened but before she went and got you something had changed, she wasn’t suffering anymore, she was happy. It was like she finally got closure. Not only has she overcome the situation she was in she is now thriving, its slow one foot after the other but she is walking uncharted emotions taking those first steps and creating a path. I am warning you, as a doctor, don’t hurt her again, the human heart can only take so much”

Jungkook couldn’t speak, only nodding his throat feeling tight, while they felt crummy sitting safely in the company building, you were out here risking your lives for others and doing things that actually mattered and changed lives. He felt even worse and it had nothing to do with his shoulder, they had literally been complaining about being stuck inside doing dish duty and you walked two hours two a hospital to deliver a teen in your arms, two hours back to get supplies two hours to deliver them in by pulling them in a wagon and two hours back.

He silently cursed that he had let his hyungs tell you those horrible things via the radio that day. That he didn’t argue and they didn’t choose a different method to get you to stay. This had to be resolved. That is if he was even worthy of someone so gentle and kind-hearted. What made matters worse was how you believed every word, and he knew you did the way you stared at the floor refusing to look him in the eyes. The way he kissed you, and you didn’t exactly kiss back. It was like he put his heart in his hands and you didn’t take it. You were scared of him. Jungkook didn’t know how to prove to you that you were worth more than they led you to believe. That you deserve so much and that they were the monsters for treating you the way they did.

Jungkook held in his small desperate yelp when he shoulder was thrust back into place, the relief that followed was almost instant. Of course, there was an underlying tenderness to the joint but otherwise, it was feeling as good as new. He didn’t get long to relax before there was a loud heavy banging at the door. He rolled off the small examination table and followed Doctor Chang to the reception to see the men standing there holding guns and a Walkie Talkie. He waved three fingers at them and Doctor Chang picked up the Walkie turning it to channel three.

“Hello, how can I help you, are you injured?”

“We want the girl, the foreigner, we know she is with you?”

“She wears a Hazard suit and on the headpiece, she drew a face on the back, you know the one?”

“I don’t know any girl by that description,” Doctor Chang said bluntly, looking at Jungkook confused “Do you?”

“Listen here Doc, if you don’t send her out we will break these pretty little windows huh, let see you treat your patients when they are all asphyxiating.”

Jungkook took the radio, “I will get her” he said his face blank of any emotion and his hand twitching slightly.

“You are a good man” the gunmen pointed through the glass at Jungkook, who gave Doctor Chang a silent look and pushed past. Jungkook walked into the woman’s bathroom, he could hear the shower running and saw your suit folded up beside your clean clothes. He knocked on the door of the stall and you poked your head out.

“Jungkook is everything okay?” You held a towel to your front and watched him curiously.

“Yes, I just wanted to um…” he paused watching the water droplets run down the side of your neck losing everything he wanted to say. It was trapped in his head. ‘I’m sorry’, ‘we didn’t mean it’, ‘you mean so much to us’, ‘it was all a lie’, ‘I love you’. None of these words left his mouth instead he pushed the door to the stall open grabbing your face and kissing you with everything he had. The kiss was desperate conveying all the emotions he could. Your bottom lip being pulled between his before he pulled back letting it go with a sigh. 

You were both panting and he hummed “That is all” he pulled the door shut telling you to lock it and when he heard the confirmation he snatched the suit and helmet getting dressed in the next room before walking out. He made quick eye contact with Doctor Chang before he hung his head and went to the front door. The doctor unlocked the door letting him out and they turned away. Being the smart boy he was, his phone was hidden inside his suit on silent waiting for him to plan his escape.

**~**

Doctor Chang told you what had happened when you left the bathroom, he seemed upset and nervous. Watching for your reaction, you grabbed Jungkook’s hazard suit and helmet, walkie talkie in one hand, gun in the other. Heading for the door. It opened the few soldiers left behind to watch over the area walked in one with a bullet wound to the arm. It was embedded into the skin and Doctor Chang called you into the room to assist him, but also to keep you from running after Jungkook irrationally.

You were listening to everything he said about the bullet wound care in an effort to keep your mind from wandering. Once the wound was sutured shut, the soldiers had agreed to help rescue Jungkook but they needed to form a plan and to get closer to the location. The plan involved taking a few of the men into custody, and stealing their suits again while your suits were yellow and bright emergency colours theirs were painted black and grey in an urban disguise.

The suits were the perfect disguise as visibility through the visors were limited. All you needed was to find a few unsuspecting gang members with the suits. Lucky for you, you knew where to find them. A little alleyway a short distance from the BigHit building. You knew the group well and had listened to them talk about their favourite female idols.

You used to laugh at how they spoke into the walkie. It was like a teenager being forced to talk to his parents about his day at school. A lot of ‘fine’ ‘yeah’ and ‘whatever’s’. It took little time to take the three soldiers - the forth stayed behind at the clinic - through the streets. 

Pointing ahead in the fog they held their guns out and moved along silently, the five gunmen were restrained. You took their weapons, walkie talkies and phones. Guiding them to the BigHit building you felt your shoulders tense once more. Not only had you not spoken to the Boy’s in the building since the incident a week and a bit ago. You also lost their friend and band member. The five men were stripped out of there suits and taken by security. 

“Y/N” Thomas called hugging you, he looked you over frowning, “Why are you, with the soldiers and Why are you so thin?”

“The army are sending a few soldiers over within the house to take the mean in for questioning” You quickly grabbed one of the suits preparing to get changed, picking one that appeared to be the cleanest. 

“What are you doing?” Thomas said, “you're not leaving again?”

“Y/n?” Taehyung said curiously, you turned to see the boys walking over each looking tired, Jimin seemed to have lost weight looking as gaunt as yourself. 

“What’s happening?” Jimin asked 

“They took Jungkook, that idiot gave himself up for me and now he is in danger”

“Why did he give himself up?” Thomas asked

“That’s what I am asking, I am a nobody, and I mean nothing to him, why risk his life so casually, for someone he doesn’t even consider a friend. But that’s not the point he is my patient and we need to think of a plan to bring him back”

“You can use our meeting room” Namjoon guided you all to the elevator, it was squishy inside. Taehyung looked at you upset, you felt his fingers brush your hand, swallowing thickly trying to remove the tension from your body as he gently slipped your small hand into his larger one threading your fingers hesitantly hoping you didn’t pull away. 

You held his hand but it didn’t mean anything like it used to, the action lost it’s emotional meaning and was now just two palms pressed together, nothing more than a scientific evaluation. No hidden meaning, no feelings, you were a professional. Just comforting a client, you told yourself trying to tell yourself that your heart didn’t beat faster. You know, one who lost her patient to a bunch of dangerous men.


	24. 10/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am trying to stress the importance of both admitting and expressing your emotions because we don’t do that enough. AND the idea of not leaving your wants and needs behind for others they are just as important. Don’t live a life you will live to regret, don’t hold back from trying things. Always look after yourself, you are your number one.

The boys were completely engrossed in the cadet’s plan, they had found his location via a phone tracking app the band members had each downloaded for their own safety. The three soldiers agreed to head into the establishment whether it be a building or otherwise and retrieve Jungkook. 

“Okay, where would you like me?”  
“What do you mean? you are a civilian, you aren’t going to step foot outside”

The men blatantly refused your assistance in the matter, as it was their job to protect civilians. They were trained and you were not. But either way, you managed to convince them. “I am the closest person you will get with some form of medical experience that is willing to step foot outside. I am also an expert at navigating through the fog, hiding and escaping.”

“We still won’t risk it” The oldest sighed “We can’t let you put yourself in danger”  
“He is my patient, I have a duty, to make sure he is healthy and safe. What if they have done something to hurt him, you can take me with you, or I will follow after you leave.”

“Don’t act immature or we will be even less inclined to let you assist in this rescue and if we let you accompany and that’s an if. You will listen to everything we tell you, no running off on your own, no disobeying orders, no backchat or immature arguments like this one”

“Absolutely, you tell me to hide, you will never find me, you tell me to stay I will stay until you grow a beard. Your word will be the law.”  
“You can’t be serious!” Thomas shouted across the room “You are going to let her go back out there to face men with guns, men who want nothing more than to see her hurt or dead”

“Look if you asked me to do this when this all started, I would have been scared. If you asked me after the first week here, I would have done it to prove something. If you asked me when I was staying out there, I might have done it out of spite, but, I am not the same anymore. I am not trying to impress anyone, I am not trying to prove I can do it to anyone, not even myself. I am thinking more clearly than I have in my whole life. This is about being there, for my patient who was under my care and could be hurt. I am going to administer first aid if the situation calls for it and that is all”

The room went silent, there was something about the way you spoke, you weren’t shouting or begging. You were telling them exactly what you were going to do. It was so mature. Not that you were every immature, you just weren’t the most confident in your decisions. This truly felt like you had grown from a timid damsel to the strong independent woman. Seokjin found himself speaking feeling this was a situation and time to play the part of the oldest. Soon he would be in the army himself, he could have already been in the army if it wasn’t for BTS. It was time to face reality and step up to fate, whether he wanted it or not.

“Well if that is the case, I would like to request that I also join this rescue team, you can’t leave a young woman out there alone, Namjoon will stay back with the tracker on Jungkook and the walkie talkie to report any changes.” Seokjin said, “I will just watch her back, if we meet up with anyone, she is a girl and sounds like a foreigner at least I could possibly pass as one of them by being a man”

With little time to argue without endangering Jungkook further, they agreed to Seokjin’s addition to the plan. Suiting up quickly and heading out the door each armed though you were warned heavily by the three soldiers that you should not fire unless you are willing to live with the idea of ending someone’s life. Because they are not toys and people can die”

~

Jungkook had been sitting in the back of the van for roughly ten minutes, his arms had gone dead tied behind his back. He was lifted and dragged from the vehicle and into a building they pushed him down the hall muttering to each other. They must have believed he was a foreigner who couldn’t speak Korean as they weren’t shy to talk about his form.

“Do all foreign females have such big arms?” One commented not so subtly squeezing his bicep. In any other situation that wasn’t life-threatening Jungkook would have burst out laughing but he held it in, not wanting to blow his cover or they would go after you once more. “They feel bigger than mine”

“Haha, but have you seen her thin waist and thicker hips and thighs, there is a certain charm with foreign girls” The others free hand travelled down Jungkook’s back and for a brief moment squeezing the peach which was Jungkook’s behind.

The two guards laughed pushing him into the bare room and shut and locked the door, he laid on the floor. Memories and thoughts filled his head, he really hoped he wasn’t about to die, he didn’t want to bring pain to his Band members, his family or Army. He laughed how his fears weren’t even for his own safety but the emotions of the people who shaped his life. The ones he owed it all too. He didn’t cry. Not at first, he held on in the dark empty room as long as he could before the fear he held for his Hyung’s passed and he realized being alone was worse.

Being apart of BTS meant he was never alone and he couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment because it had crept up on him over time. But at some point, he put the others feelings and emotions before his own. He was happy when they were happy, sad when they were sad. One reason why the quarantine was so hard was that he was so isolated from everything he had been built around, and his routines were gone. He now had time to think, something he had the opportunity to do since before he joined the band. Seven years and this was it, all the things he had pushed aside and ignored and smiled through resurfaced.

When there was nothing to distract him but thoughts of his impending doom, he looked back on his life, he only regretted one thing. He focused on his happiness, he chased all these dreams and was successful and had everything one might want in life. But the one thing everyone wanted the most. 

To love and be loved in return, not the love of a sibling or friend or blood brother, not even the adoration and obsession of the fans. He wanted the love between his one and only, he wanted the union of body and soul. Perhaps it was because he had a taste of it, and wanted more of it. It was teasing him the idea that he was so close to feeling that and now here he was. 

People said you became a fool when you fell in love but Jungkook had never been more sure of his decision to take your place. He knew if he was to do it all again he wouldn’t change a thing, he would take your place in every lifetime, every reality, every universe.


	25. 11/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is all about owning up and being brave even when things seem scary stand your ground. If you know what's right, do what's right. Stand your ground. Don’t give in to fear.

Dressed and armed with your backpack filled with medical supplies and the smallest gun the men were willing to hand you. You set out on foot, Seokjin was hesitant walking through the fog, so biting your lip you took his free hand. At first, it was awkward very stiff like two teens at a high school dance, trying to get the courage to dance. But after a few obstacles, it felt like an extension of yourself.

“Step up on the curb?”   
“Ne” he mumbled following your guiding figure. He thought you looked cute in waddling around in an oversized suit. He pressed his lips together to keep from laughing. The soldiers soon told you to wait behind the building across the road and stay as this was the meeting point. You let go of Seokjin’s hand and holding the gun ready.

“That makes me nervous if you shoot me I will smack you upside the head, we will whistle when we are coming?” The soldier demonstrated with the opening from DNA causing Seokjin to chuckle. “We will get him and leave as quickly as we can, try not to cause any trouble”   
“You got it mister uh… weird I don’t know your names?” You threw a salute and the shorter one who you believed to lead the team frowned while the youngest turned your hand the correct way.   
“That’s not how you salute in Korea so stop” The leader grinned “and we are going to keep it that way”

You shrugged, “Alrighty then have fun at school don’t fight with the other boys but if they try anything, kick their asses, you hear me?”   
“Yes ma’am” the youngest grinned earning a smack to the back of his helmet and he sheepishly waved running off. You can’t believe you hadn’t taken notice of the cadets before this point, but honestly, you were like that, you didn’t recognize people easily. Having trouble remembering faces and names.

They were swallowed by the clouds in the street and you sighed leaning back against the wall and trying not to stress about the unknown. It was quiet for about ten minutes before the handsome young man beside you literally couldn’t take it any more and whispered a joke to you. One became two and soon he was giggling to himself the fabric of his suit did little to cover up the squeaks that fell from his mouth and every time his shoulders would bounce making the suit crinkle audibly.

You heard something, something tiny and brief but you grabbed Seokjin’s arm and pulled him down and shushed him whispering to him. “Don’t make a noise someone is coming” He didn’t want to admit it but he became nervous and froze his gun pointing into the opaque distance. Noticing you pushed the front of his gun down and turned off your breather, Jin followed turning off his and the two of you listened. You were more experienced and could pinpoint the source eyes following the hidden figure as they moved. They passed by heading down the street on your right, you sighed audibly, filing the information away for future use. Looking at Jin who appeared alarmed and seriously stressed.

“Breathe, you are okay?” You whispered turning on your breathers he nodded following you to take a few breaths, there was the sound of gunshots from the direction of the building making the two jump. You didn’t even get a chance to think about running off before Seokjin’s gloved hand grabbed you around the wrist and his stare held you in place. It was then you had realized you hadn’t looked him in the eyes since before you left the BigHit building to take Mister Lee to the hospital.

He took your breath away but not in a good way, his eyes looked back in shock. Something about him was off and the way his eyes widened showed he was surprised you even looked at him. His eyes lowered and gave a small laugh. “I am not brave, so don’t leave where I can’t see you”   
This seemed a lot heavier than just telling you not to run off into the fog and you twisted your wrist from his grip and grasped his hand.

“I am not going to leave you alone” You tried not to lead him on to think you meant forever because you knew that was too much to promise.    
“I wish I wasn’t such a coward” He hummed relieved by your words “I don’t know how you do it, but I am trying my hardest. I need the courage to be myself, to take responsibility for my actions, to overcome the fear of rejection and disapproval. To admit mistakes and then do what must be done. But I lack the courage to support my convictions. I can’t say one thing and never back it up with my actions. I can’t say I love you and then roll over when I am faced with adversity.”

You were frozen, he said the ‘L’ word. You tried to pull yourself free from his grasp, standing and struggling to get him to let go. “Jin please don’t say that… I really, I really can’t right now”   
“I kissed you and I meant it, I still mean it and what I didn’t mean were those god damn words I said to you that day. This is it this is me be brave and admitting to my mistakes and let me tell you this is the scariest thing I have ever done”

“Jin really I can’t right now, I don’t feel that way about you” LIES. “I need time okay, words can hurt pretty badly and it’s not something an I’m sorry can fix”   
He pinned you to the wall looking at you through his visor and into yours. “I know one apology won’t fix anything but listen to me I am willing to stand by your side and say it until we grow old and die. I have never fallen in love before and that in itself was scary the company and then the boys and the situation. We thought we were protecting you. But it wasn’t real. Jimin he hasn’t been eating. Namjoon hasn’t been sleeping, we are a mess without you”

“Jin. Stop.” You were upset but you held firm. “I don’t want to hear this right now if you say that you give me false hope”   
“I want you to hope and dream and this is what I have to say so maybe it’s not what you want to hear but it might be what you need. “God you brought a smile to my face every day and I was so happy to just have you by my side but every day I wanted more, I wanted to see you when I woke up and as I fell asleep, I wanted to see you when you weren’t there and hold you when you were”

You heard loud footsteps and a loud whistle, you turned down the lane and heard shouting “Move! go, get moving we got him now RUN!” Seokjin seemed frozen in place but you grabbed his hand and ran heading in the direction of the BigHit building, off to the right feeling yourself forgetting something important.


	26. 12/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have an EDITOR!!!! So if my work has suddenly become legible it's not me it is my friend.

Namjoon sat at the desk with Jungkook’s location on his laptop screen, walkie talkie in hand. To his left was Yoongi, who had his laptop open on a map of the area. Complete with directions and Jin’s location via his phone. 

Thomas no longer paced back and forth, your speech about this being the right thing to do dulled his fear just a little. He didn’t realize how much you changed before you came here. You were quiet, stuck in your shell. Now, you were out there saving lives.

“Jungkook’s signal hasn’t moved. So hopefully, that means he is waiting there. It seems like a warehouse. I tried searching online for any blueprints but there were none. I did get a few pictures and by the looks of it there are a few ways in,” Namjoon said listening to the men repeat. Yoongi watched Seokjin stop on the map and waited, placing his hand on Hoseok’s knee which bounced nervously.

“They will come home right?”

Everyone went silent. Glancing across the room, eyes landing on Jimin and Taehyung who were trying to comfort one another.

Namjoon pulled the walkie talkie up to his face.   
“You bring our boy home safe okay?” Namjoon called, “Bring them all back in one piece.”   
  


“Yeah no pressure though.”

~

Jungkook had been in the room a total of 30 minutes and the idiots didn’t realize the ropes around the bulky suit let him slip his hands free on the inside. This meant the rope loosened, sliding off and allowing his hands to be free once more.

Unzipping the front of his suit, Jungkook removed his phone and saw a text from Namjoon asking if he was okay and had his phone available. He replied that it was him and took a photo. His nose and cheeks stained a light pink from his emotional realisation a few moments prior.

Namjoon explained that the soldiers were coming for him. Last hearing on the walkie talkie that they were outside the building and asking him to be ready as they would be dressed like the gunman.

Jungkook stuffed the phone back into his suit as the door opened, revealing a scruffy looking man with a sparse beard. He stepped inside wasting no time pulling off Jungkook’s mask, eyes widening at the reveal. 

He lifted a walkie, speaking quickly, “It seems we have a mix-up boys. We didn’t pick up the foreigner, we got her little boyfriend. What do we do with him? Do we need him?”

Jungkook watched as the man reached for his handgun, before he was roughly disarmed and beaten by two gunmen in suits. The man lied unconscious, his walkie talkie going off. 

“We should keep him and lure the girl here, I am in the bathroom so give me a second and I will tell those good for nothing assholes to go back out and get her.” 

Ripping off the suit helmet, Jungkook immediately recognized the man as part of the armed forces.

“Jeon Jungkook?”

He nodded, scrambling to his feet, as the soldiers grabbed him and led him out the way they came. There wasn’t anyone on the lookout.  The guards all seemed to be drinking and smoking inside, which was good news for them . Briskly moving down the hall, the group ducked past a busy room of men talking loudly.

“The foreigner was really compliant, maybe we offer her a drink.” 

Jungkook saw red at the insinuation in the man’s words, but didn’t have time to respond as they continued on their way. Rounding a corner they heard a flush and a man stepped out of a bathroom, only to be greeted by Jungkook's yellow suit and two rescuers. 

The gunman shouted, reaching for his gun. The leader was quick, knocking the man out but not quick enough. He alerted the others and the chase began. 

Jungkook’s rescuers led him through the fog, meeting up with a third soldier outside. The four of them headed off down an alleyway.  The leader shouted, telling someone to run and Jungkook saw two more figures disappear up ahead. 

~

Yoongi was now on the walkie talkie, “Take a left, at the next intersection.”

To everyone watching him, Yoongi seemed to be the only one controlling his anxiety, keeping a calm voice as he gave the others directions. 

But with two groups out there Jin was quick to give a sassy reply.

  
“Who are you telling to turn left?”

  
“You and the babe in Group Jin, turn left,” Yoongi said.

  
“Don’t call us Group Jin, or we won’t make it home,” Jin joked out of breath.

The whole situation had Yoongi stressed. Namjoon opened the web document Yoongi was scanning onto his tablet, taking out a stylus and marking red X’s where the gunmen were waiting.   
  


“The way has been blocked off, Group Jk, take a right and then your third left and keep going,” Yoongi said watching more X’s appear. His heart-stopping as Group Jin was slowly also getting cut off.

“Fuck. You got to move, they are closing in. You got one more street, the fifth on your left. Don’t stop. Keep running. You can’t stop, there is no time. You will meet back up with the others if Group Jk follow their street around the bend and then it is straight home.”

~

Group Jin got the message, speeding up. Hoping the gunshots firing off behind them didn’t meet their target. They were trying their best to navigate the streets, listening to Yoongi’s instructions, when Seokjin ran straight into a hulking figure. The two toppled, Seokjin dropping his gun on impact. 

Seokjin and the man wrestled over the gun on the ground. Flicking off the safety of your gun you aimed it at the man.

“Freeze!” you shout.

He didn’t, instead, he started laughing, “They are coming and you won’t shoot me, foreigner, You didn’t shoot me before and you won’t shoot me now. Remember me.”

“Y/N just go,” Seokjin struggled.

You raised the gun taking a deep breath. 

“We haven’t got time, you need to go. Come on I am being handsome and brave.”

  
“Drop the weapon now, this is your last warning!” you hissed, watching Seokjin slowly getting overpowered. 

The gun shook and as it got closer to your friend’s head.

Panicking, you pulled the trigger. A deafening shot rang through the air.

You fell to the ground. The ringing in your ears seemed to take away any of the power you had left. 

It wasn’t a clean shot. 

It had pierced straight into the side of the man’s throat. He clutched the area as blood gushed from the wound. Your eyes widened, dropping to your knees. Grabbing the man’s neck, you added pressure.

“No, it’s okay, you are okay” You gasped.

“We got to go, come on let’s go,” Seokjin said as he grabbed your hand dragging you down the street. Seokjin pulled you along as shots fired over your shoulder.

~

Yoongi threw the walkie talkie onto the couch. They were surrounded and there was nothing he could do, he failed them. 

Thomas stared at the map, in denial at the situation. “No. She said everything was going to be okay. This can’t be happening!” 

He gazed blankly at the map seeing the red X’s and searching for another street, another way out. 

“There!” He snatched the Walkie Talkie.


	27. 13/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, so it turns out I didn't upload this I am so sorry. It was complete and I uploaded it to Tumblr and forgot about AO3....

“The car park!”

You snapped your head up searching for the parking lot your brother yelled of. 

“It’s the one with the cheap parking! Remember?” Thomas continued over the walkie, “That’s where I left my car the morning of the alert. Go there. The passenger door doesn’t lock, remember!” 

Seokjin kept repeating, car park, over and over again. Your head pounded, heartbeat just as loud and heavy, and as quick as your boots on the pavement. 

“And you told me to get a new car because the passenger door doesn’t close properly,” Thomas got out. “We parked there and walked a couple of blocks to work and got coffee,” he stammered, “-but that’s not the point. Go there and hide in the car.”

Pulling Seokjin into the parking lot, you searched for the correct number and letter sequence among the plates. Finally, spotting the rusty green mess of a car. It looked beaten up, littered with dents.

Pushing the fatigued Idol towards the vehicle. You ripped open the door, forcing him inside. Shutting the door behind the both of you. 

You panted as you tried to catch your breath. You could hear the men coming. Their footsteps echoing through the underground lot. Yanking down the back seat you shoved Seokjin into the boot and climbed in after. Moving the seats back up to their original position, you hoped to hide from prying eyes. 

Silence washed over the both of you as the adrenaline wore off. You ripped off your helmets. The air in the trunk was fairly clean, since the two of you hastily scrambled to get there. Clothing and cd’s sharing the space with you. 

Seokjin’s body awkwardly curled around you, stuck simultaneously under and over you . 

He tried to manoeuvre out from under you but ended up digging his knee into your thigh. You couldn’t help but let out a scream from the burning searing sensation.

Seokjin’s hand snapped to your mouth muffling your screams. He frantically reached for his phone to use as a light source. Scanning down your body his eyes widened. The two of you looked like you belonged in a horror movie. Blood covered both your legs, soaking the thin carpet padding of the trunk.

On closer inspection, Seokjin spotted a hole in your suit. He wiggled his torso down until he was almost bent in half. His fears were confirmed. You had been shot, directly in the thigh.

Turning to straddle you, Seokjin frowned and unzipped your suit. If you weren’t in this situation right now, under different circumstances, you may have thought this action was sexy. But the blood loss made you feel hot and nauseous.

Seokjin opened the suit, exposing your thigh, and grabbed one of the clean shirts that littered the back. He tied it tightly around the wound. He waited as he heard the men walk by, their footsteps moving quickly and voices calling out. 

The pain was bearable if you laid completely still but every breath and heartbeat was pure agony. After waiting as long as he could, Seokjin moved slowly so he was laying reverse. His head at your feet and your feet at his head. 

“I had a dream like this once,” He chuckled, opening the medical bag and searching for things that could help you.

“We were in a sixty-nine position in the boot of my brother’s car as bandits tried to kill us and I bled out. A classic, Who hasn’t had that one yet?” 

Your dry laugh was cut off by a groan as he bumped your leg. You reached between your bodies grabbing the bag and pulling out the last dose of morphine and a clean syringe. You have given injections in the past but you had a big fear of needles. You weren’t sure if this would work. 

“Not quite that old gem, cause you weren’t dying but I still took you to heaven if you know what I mean?” He snickered, “You were moaning a little differently too, it was more like Jin-ah don’t stop.”

“Check if there is an exit wound,” You spoke, getting down to business. Jin felt around the back of your leg. “If not this might get a little more complicated.”

“Like it wasn’t complicated enough,” he muttered as he continued to feel up and down the back of your thigh. 

“This isn’t foreplay Jin. There is a hole in my lower body”

“That sounds awfully a lot like foreplay.”

“You’re right, that does sound like foreplay.”

“Found it!” 

You hissed painfully as he indeed found the exit wound. He looked down between your bodies and gave you an upside-down grin. “I am nothing if not an attentive lover.”

You began directing Seokjin on how to treat the wound as you slowly tried to give yourself the morphine shot. It was the scariest thing but you got through it with gritted teeth and bruised arms. 

Relaxing against a soft pile of clothes in the trunk you looked up, eyes following Seokjin’s long legs in the puffy suit. You couldn’t resist and found yourself patting the roundness of his bottom. 

“Are you serious right now. You could lose a leg if you bump me.”

“You’re wrapping gauze around my leg Jin, not performing open-heart surgery,” you muttered, “Plus I am going numb from either the blood loss or the drugs. I am not sure. So take the whole leg off if it’s less trouble.” You giggled smacking his butt again, “You know I think you look better this way. If you looked like this you would truly be talking out your ass.”

Seokjin liked this side of you, it reminded him of the time you all had drinks after dish duty. You both talked exaggeratedly about the male and female lead and the plot holes in the drama storyline. 

“Shush I am working, no more touching or talking about my glorious behind.”

As the morphine took the searing pain from your head thoughts and images filled the space. The man you shot, his face there gasping as he bled out. A sick feeling bloomed in your chest like a drop of food coloring in water. It spread making you feel incredibly ill.

You hadn’t realized you were crying, a complete mess of broken sobs and thick sniffles. Seokjin took one of your hands and squeezed it, having finished the bandage and held you to his chest, “Let’s take a quick rest and then we will think about moving okay.”

Unable to answer you buried your face into his broad chest trying to muffle your screams. As the gunshot rang out over and over again flashes of a bloody hand reached out to you. The wet gasps as he choked on his own blood and the fear he expressed as you physically saw the candle that was his life slowly burn out. The panic was hitting you hard and you couldn’t breathe. 

Jin didn’t know what to do to help and in his own panic he started singing.

_It’s not that I believe it  
But that I want to try holding out  
Because this is  
All that I can do_

The words, desperate and quiet, tickled your ears in a whisper against your hair. There was nothing else he could do, there was no inhaler in your bag. This was his moment to prove he changed, he won’t shy away or run anymore, not from you, or life, or his military enlistment. He was going to push further until finally, he wasn’t scared anymore.

_Yeah it’s my truth  
It’s my truth  
I will be covered with wounds all over  
But it’s my fate  
It’s my fate   
Still, I want to struggle and fight_

Your body slowly relaxed against his and you fell asleep, exhausted from the events and the physical pain your body was in.

~

Jungkook kept running until he reached the meeting point. The soldiers caught up and sighed in annoyance. Their walkie was glitching and they haven’t received the last few transmissions.

“Captain Won-Shik, we don’t know if they returned?”

“Cadet Tae-U. We got to keep moving. Y/N isn’t dumb. She would have led Seokjin home.” 

Captain Won-Shik huffed, “Come on we risk more lives staying out here exposed like this. This isn’t some soap or drama. This is real life and you know we follow protocol. We don’t risk more lives than necessary, and right now we are risking lives.” 

The Captain walked off, “We just saved this young man and you want to endanger him yet again on an assumption that they aren’t safe.”

Jungkook hated how right the captain of the squad was, telling himself not to risk his life so foolishly. It felt weird being protected and not being the one going above and beyond. The old him would have sworn it was his duty to go out there and find you, to bring you back safe. But he finally felt like he was nobody and had no obligations.

It killed him not knowing whether you were safe and yet he has finally given himself the choice. Not what was expected of him, not what he thought people wanted him to do. No longer trying to push, to lead, to make a good impression. He was free of the burden. Free of expectations.

He turned that burden onto himself to bare alone. Everyone expected him to pick up any slack. Jungkook knew deep down that this wasn’t the case but the realization now hit him full force. He understood now how much he stretched himself thin for others.


	28. 14/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, because I forgot to upload yesterday's chapter have two chapters :)

Jungkook nodded to the captain in agreement to continue back to the building. He knew you passed them. Your route was quicker and more direct. You had to have passed them. He was sure of it and everyone was probably worried sick because he hadn't returned. 

They set out on foot. Still trying to send a message on the walkie but nothing was coming back through. Unsure of what was happening or what was left to return to because all they had was radio silence.

~

The group was frozen. The tension in the air as thick as the fog churning in the streets outside. Transmissions had stopped and they had no way of knowing who made it or not. All they could do was wait and hope. The clock ticked louder and louder, striking through the silence until it became unbearable. 

Jimin made eye contact with Hoseok who gave a small smile building up the courage to break the tension. “Would anyone like something to drink while we wait, a cup of tea or water?”

Yoongi pushed off the couch and stormed out of the room, heading to the sanctuary that was his studio. With every second that passed and each step he took his eyes stung with unshed tears. 

A light pink color flushed his cheeks and nose while a burning sensation swelled in his throat. A sob ripping from his chest as he slammed the door to his haven. Yoongi sank onto the floor pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes as if it would stop the tears from escaping. 

All it took was one message from Hoseok, checking if he was okay, had him screaming, “F*CK!” as he chucked his phone across the room

He hated feeling out of control. He felt this so often growing up and he swore he would never let himself feel this way. But you had burrowed into his heart and now he cared about you. You were worse than the boys, at least it was his decision to fall in love with them. Who wouldn’t fall for them.  They were so kind and Yoongi was never one for appearances. He fell in love with who someone was and not for the way they dressed, not for their race, and least of all their gender.

Yoongi needed to do something. He began tampering with his equipment, trying to make his stereo pick up a signal, anything. At the sound of Jungkook’s voice over the radio Yoongi felt himself relax, even only a little.

~

Taehyung and Jimin tried to comfort each other, sitting side by side on the couch. The two held hands whispering as Hoseok left the room after Yoongi. He decided not to leave Yoongi alone in this time of need. Namjoon stared at the two walkie talkies on the coffee table wondering what he was supposed to do.

“Guys, I am going to wait downstairs,” Thomas breathed heavily, feeling almost claustrophobic. “Text me if anything comes up.”

They watched Thomas leave, his eyes dull seeming so lost. Namjoon heard a tiny whimper across the room. Looking over, he saw Taehyung and Jimin sniffling and staring at the map left open on Yoongi’s computer. All the red X’s littering the map. 

Namjoon felt his heart sink. The boys shared a special bond, like ribbons connecting them to one another, drawing them close. The ribbons delicately intertwining them were tangled together. Right now, with the members separated, the ribbons twisted and taut, only entangling them closer than ever. 

“Come here.” 

Namjoon held his hands out in invitation. The two practically ran into his grasp. Their tear-stained faces turned red. He held them for a few minutes, holding their heads against his chest. Taehyung wrapped his arms around his waist, while Jimin curled up into an impossibly tiny cute ball. His little fingers curling into fists to try and rub away the tears.

~

Yoongi was in the middle of setting up his microphone, ready to reply to Jungkook who was talking out of breath into the walkie. The studio doorbell rang pulling him out of his concentration and out of his chair.

Hoseok noticed evidence of the introvert’s recent emotional endeavour alongside an unusual lively expression. Yoongi always felt grumpy and embarrassed after getting emotional, usually refusing to see anyone for a while. Yet here he was seeming lost in thought and almost relieved.

“Are you okay? Can I come in?” 

Yoongi pulled him inside impatiently, shutting the door and heading to his desk where he had set up the receiver. 

“This is Group Jk, I repeat this is Group Jk, we are heading back even though you can’t hear me.” 

Jungkook’s voice cut through the room and Hoseok, who had just settled down awkwardly on the leather couch, flew out of his seat and across the room. 

“That’s Jk!” Hoseok couldn’t help the feeling rushing over him as he looked down at Yoongi.

He grabbed the pale rapper by the cheeks and pressed a celebratory kiss to his lips. Hoseok pulled away watching Yoongi raise his fist to his lips and cough in an attempt to break the sudden tension. 

Pushing the button on the microphone with long thin fingers, Yoongi spoke as calmly as he could into the microphone, not wanting to appear flustered by either the situation or the kiss. 

“Group Jk do you copy?”

“Hyung!” Jungkook’s voice lost all its weariness and became as bright as Hoseok’s had been to hear the maknae’s voice. 

“Where are you?”

Hoseok all but took over and shouted into the microphone. He nudged Yoongi’s leg and gestured to move away from the desk. When he did, Hoseok sat down and tugged the thinner man onto his lap.

“We are just at the end of the street now. We will be there in a second, don’t worry,” Jungkook paused catching his breath before getting excited again, “Tell y/n that we are going to have celebratory ramen in the basement tonight. Together as a group. No exceptions. ”

Hoseok reacted, reaching for the mic but long fingers grasped his wrist preventing him from replying.

“Don’t tell him. Otherwise, he won’t come back.” 

“Hobi Hyung? Yoongi Hyung? It must have cut out again?” 

~

Seokjin heard the men speak about leaving more than an hour and a half ago. It had been quiet since. He looked down at your form drenched in a cold sweat and shaking in his arms.


	29. 15/04/2020

Seokjin took one of the spare shirts from beside him and wiped your brow. You weren’t looking good. He was no expert but even he could tell you were in a bad way. The radio was out and he knew he had to move you quickly, otherwise you probably weren’t going to make it. He shook you awake and you stirred for a second barely able to keep your eyes open.

“We have to go. I think they left.” His voice was gentle but he could hear fear in his tone.

“Jin, give me a little bit more time to rest. I can navigate us better at night okay,” you say. Your voice sounded strong and in control. It convinced him enough to give in. Surely a few more minutes won’t hurt.

~

With the building in sight the group didn’t slow down. The doors were already opened when they arrived. Jungkook and the soldiers quickly moved into the lobby. Shouts bombarded him before he even had the chance to remove his helmet.

He saw Thomas looking through each man's visor, gripping the suit in his hands, “Y/n! Where is she?”

Jungkook’s helmet whipped off in an instant, revealing the disbelief on his face. “What do you mean? Is she still out there?”

He was engulfed in a hug before he got a response, the familiar scents of lavender, citrus, and an ocean breeze surrounding him. He buried his face  between Namjoon and Taehyung’s shoulders, resting his chin atop Jimin’s head.

For a few moments, he forgot everything that had happened, for a few moments he forgot that you hadn’t returned, for a few moments he was happy. 

~

Seokjin struggled keeping you warm as your shivering got worse. The crease in your brow now a permanent fixture on your beautiful features. Checking his phone, he saw the battery was down to half. It was almost nightfall. He attempted to wake you again but you didn’t even stir. 

“Y/n?” He whispered, shaking you gently. His hand coming up to pat your cheek, trying a little harder to wake you from your slumber. “Baby. Come on wake up. You’re scaring me?”

“Water?” you gasped, eyes still closed. Jin quickly sat you up as best as he could in the limited space and helped you drink some water. “What’s the time?”

“Just after five, we should leave.” 

You raised your arm slightly to grab hold of Jin but your arm went slack and fell across your torso. You were too weak. He understood the gesture and sighed, “We can’t wait anymore. You’re sick.”

“I know,” you sighed, “But if you wait till seven we will be able to move easier. The soldiers are calling the military to take over the situation.  They know where their hideout is— just stay a little longer.” Your head spun, needing him to compromise, “Set a quiet alarm and we can go then. I promise you.”

He nodded and laid down. The air in the car was getting thicker. The car wasn’t a hundred percent sealed but it was the best you had. The handful of hours laying there made the air stale and hard to breathe.

~

Yoongi found everyone in the lobby and was immediately confronted by Jungkook.

“Did you know? Did you know she was missing?” Jungkook asked point-blank. He nodded silently in response, his facing hardening with resolve. 

He let the Maknae throw fists into his chest. Jungkook was without question stronger but Yoongi wouldn’t let his mask of indifference fall. He wouldn’t show weakness not now. Not ever.

One strike to Yoongi’s injured shoulder had him losing his breath, thin cat-like eyes narrowing dangerously. Hoseok became worried the older rapper would strike back, but was surprised when he pulled the younger male into his arms. Jungkook hunched over due to the height difference but buried his face into the dark hoodie his Hyung wore.

“I’m sorry that I lied to you, but that whole rescue mission was to get you back. Would you really let all their efforts and sacrifices go for nothing,” He sighed coldly, running his fingers through the chocolate tresses of Jungkook’s hair. “We just wanted you back.”

The group sat down eating a rather sombre dinner. They didn’t talk but sat in almost comfortable silence, each showing their support with light caresses and soft glances. The maknaes all curled up on the couch in Yoongi’s studio, worried that you and their Hyung were missing out there.

Rolling back the recording, Yoongi listened to anything that registered as more than basic radio static. He noticed three spots on the recording that had something, but they were hard to identify. He turned up the volume, cleaned the static out, and listened to it again. 

“I found something, but I don’t know if it’s them or even a voice, so don’t get your hopes up.”

He hit play and the room filled with crackles and ambiguous broken human speech that left them with more questions than answers.

“That’s Jin Hyung, I know his voice.” Taehyung sat up unbelievably quickly looking at Yoongi, “That’s him, can you not make it any clearer?”

“I am trying. It’s in a buffering system scanning the radio waves to extract human speech but it has another hour. My software is good but not that good,” Yoongi tried to calm the group down. Most of them began falling asleep. Taehyung, being stubborn, tried to stay awake but his eyes occasionally rolled back in his head as he mumbled to himself repeatedly.

Yoongi ignored him as Namjoon listened intently to the recording on repeat trying to guess what the voice was saying. He had a list of possible words. Pulling off the headphones, he paused to have a moment to think, reading over the possibilities he had. 

“So far I have ‘slide’— Maybe. Then the voice says, ‘You’re right’?” Namjoon was seconds from ripping out his hair, he sat quietly thinking it over.

“Emergency. Y/n was shot. Please wake up,” Taehyung mumbled in his half-sleep state. Hoseok shot up from the realization. The rappers turned to the sleeping man who mumbled in his sleep and it was like ice-cold water had washed over them.

~

“Emergency. Y/n has been shot! Please send help, she won’t wake up,” Jin spoke into the walkie before turning back to your cold and still figure. You struggled with every breath. He held your face in his palm and tried to wake you.

Jin cried out, “You promised you would wake up.” 


	30. 16/04/2020

With all the courage he could muster, Seokjin zipped your suit back into place; patching up the suit with some medical tape he found in the bag and securing your breather back into place. Tears fell as he knew you were fading away. You woke to the sounds of his movements.

Realizing the need to get up and move, you could feel yourself getting worse. The morphine had long since stopped working. You forced yourself up, opening the backseat and properly fastened your breather. You moved to the front of the car reaching into the glove box for the spare key to your brother’s apartment, finding the spare car key attached.

Your eyes fell shut for the briefest of moments before forcing them open once more. You started up the vehicle and drove off before Seokjin fully emerged to sit in the passenger seat. You knew the general area you were in, having travelled it a few times previous.

“Let me drive?” He asked and you shook your head immediately, regretting the action when your head started to spin. 

“I have driven in the fog multiple times, let me.” You were so close. Your injured leg was completely numb but still managed to cause so much pain. Seokjin watched you like a hawk, looking scared out of his mind.

“We are almost there. That’s the clinic right theee…”

You fell forward against the wheel both hands sliding down off. Lunging across the centre console, Jin grabbed the wheel sliding his foot onto the brake. He engaged the hand break causing the vehicle’s back tires to spin out and slide across the road. He covered your body with his as the car bumped into the street pole with no more force than a bumper car.

He immediately exited the car, running around to your side of the car and scooping you out. Glancing at his surroundings he noticed the tires had left black tread marks down the street. You did have a habit of crashing headfirst into situations. He shook his head, getting back to the fact you lay unconscious in his arms. 

The clinic was two buildings back and Seokjin carried your practically lifeless body to the health centre. Looking down at you he remembered everything. You knew how to make an entrance into someone’s life that was for sure. 

_ From the moment you crashed through the door on the day you met _ .  _ Joking with them over dinner and teasing them like you were old friends. _ You were as timid as a category five Typhoon, laying waste to the land around you.  _ Making hearts skip a beat when you flashed a smile or gave a flirtatious comment. _

There was something exhilarating about you that kept him coming back, the kindness in your heart was the new life growing stronger after a storm.  _ The way you moved so smoothly in the dance studio. _ He wanted nothing more than to suffer through it all, to see the clouds disappear and for sweet gentle hands to embrace him like a soothing balm.

_ “So, you think  _ _ Lee Jong-suk is better looking and makes a better male lead than, the, Kim Seokjin?” _

_ “Who is Kim Seokjin?” You had said looking up at him curiously, hiding a playful grin behind wide eyes. _

_ “Me!” He almost screeched, “This handsome face right here— I am Kim Seokjin.” _

_ “Handsome?” You tilted your head as if examining a work of art in a museum and honestly you felt like he was truly a majestic being. “I mean I guess some people might find this sort of face attractive” _

He chuckled remembering how he started blatantly showing you tweets and memes of himself and Army calling him ‘worldwide handsome’.

_ “See! They call me ‘Worldwide Handsome’ There is no face more handsome than this” _

_ “Then why did Taehyung win ‘Forbes most handsome man’ in 2017 and tell me Hyung how many times you have… Oh right, you haven’t won have you?” Jungkook had cut in, loving to tease the eldest  _

The pillow fight that followed was filled with flushed faces and your sweet giggles. Seokjin remembered Hoseok unable to stay awake any longer, the alcohol taking effect on him.

Reaching the clinic, Seokjin realized he had been talking to your unconscious form. He was begging for you to hang on. Pleading for your forgiveness and admitting his feelings without hesitation. He regretted never telling you in person how much you meant to him. Sure, he brushed the surface of the topic but it was the wrong time to tell you his true feelings. 

The middle of a rescue mission wasn’t the time for a confession. “When you wake I will tell you every day how much you mean to me.”

A gloved fist thumping against the glass door of the clinic alerted a doctor, who hesitantly approached before realizing you were regular citizens in trouble. Even though you both dressed like the gunmen.

Allowing you in, Doctor Chang immediately recognized your face and directed Seokjin to the examination room while collecting equipment. “Get her out of the suit and tell me what happened. I need to know everything. When did this happen?”

“Jungkook was kidnapped. We planned a rescue mission and left later that morning. As we headed back she was shot. We’ve been hiding in the trunk of a car waiting for the men to leave.”

“So it has been roughly how many hours?”

“13 hours?” With shaky hands, Seokjin wiped your forehead with a cool towel, “She wouldn’t wake up.”

“Well, grab this pack and follow my lead. We are going to scrub up.” Doctor Chang watched him reluctant to leave your side and sighed, “Quickly, we have to clean and stitch the wound and— judging by the time frame— attach a drain. I will need your assistance while the nurse goes to fetch the fluids, painkillers and antibiotics.”

Seokjin was concentrating on the doctor's words, following his orders while trying to hold himself together. The doctor had finished suturing the wound and began delicately attaching a small drain to it. “Her injury is badly infected from how long it was left untreated. But this is a critical time, if she makes it through the night then the worst is over”

“The hospitals have been notified that the military is on their way to deal with the gang of gunmen, so let’s have some hope.” Doctor Chang patted Seokjin’s broad shoulders, something that he would usually describe as strong and protective, now looked nothing but weak and helpless. He felt as if they were hollow, empty shells trying to hide the idol from the horrors of the world. 

Hours passed and Seokjin watched the nurses move you to a small cot to recover comfortably. In the next bed over, a soldier looked over empathetically. Seokjin walked the quiet halls, as the night grew dark, thinking about the boys and hoping they were okay. He had left the walkie in the vehicle two buildings away, so he had no way of contacting the boys.

Walking along, he saw a vending machine selling different ramyeons and despite the situation, he longed for the comfort food brought him when he was feeling sad.

As he pressed his hand against the glass his stomach called out. The sound of a coin being inserted into the machine followed by another made him move out of the way, “I am sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, you looked hungry. Pick whatever you like,” Doctor Chang smiled, moving to the next machine and ordering a coffee. 

Seokjin chose a flavour he enjoyed, listening to the doctor’s tired speech. “I haven’t slept well in days. When this fog lifts I think I will be much happier. I want to feel the sun on my back and let the warmth seep into my skin. What about you? What do you want?”

“I want my home. I want my family.” Although Seokjin said he wanted to see his family, which was true, at this moment he meant the boys. If he closed his eyes he could picture it now; each of them in the comfort of their own home, away from prying eyes. Where they could be themselves with more than subtle touches and glances. 

_ They would all be cuddling on the couch in the living room. He would lay his head on Namjoon’s shoulder and reach over to lazily rake his hand through Taehyung’s soft hair, singing deeply. His arms stretched out tickling the side of Jimin’s belly causing his giggles to fill the air. Yoongi would be asleep, his head in your lap and legs over Hoseok’s, while Jungkook carried lunch to the coffee table and the argument would be heated about what movie to watch. _

_ Not one would be able to settle on a movie huffing at one another. But within a few seconds, Jungkook would wiggle between you and the couch, his legs either side of you and wrapping you in his arms. He would bury his face in your hair, inhaling the sweet strawberries and cream scent that lingered from your shampoo and everything would be alright. _

He pulled away from his daydream realizing the doctor had fallen asleep. Taking the full coffee cup from the tired man’s hand and setting it down, Seokjin stripped off his coat and rolled it up. He rested the doctor's head on it, hoping the man would be able to sleep well. He finished the coffee and food before heading back to watch over you. The morning was an hour out and then you would be out of the danger zone.


	31. 17/04/2020

Thomas sat behind his desk, mind completely blank from everything going on. He truly didn’t know what to think. A soft knock on the office door broke his daze. It took a few moments to register but soon turned and sighed, rising from his chair and opening the wooden door.

“Areum, is everything okay?”

“You tell me? You haven’t been down to dinner in a while. I brought this hoping you would eat with me?”

“I’m not really–”

“Please humour me.”

Nodding, he moved aside to let Areum in. She carried the large tray inside and began setting the food on his desk. Areum pulled a chair closer and sat across from him with a soft sad smile. 

“Please eat.” Exhaling with a soft sigh, Areum started eating in an effort to encourage Thomas to eat as well. “Your students are worried about you. They came to me this afternoon saying you didn’t show up for your lesson. So, they asked me to check up on you; the poor kids really care a lot. I took them through some basic warm ups but I haven’t danced since I was in high school.”

“Ah thanks, I forgot I had a class this afternoon. Thank you for taking over, I will try and not forget next time,” He mumbled scooping his food into his mouth. Areum could tell by his facial expression that he wasn’t tasting the food nor savouring it; he was just chewing and swallowing.

“Thomas, slow down. You’re going to make yourself sick.” She grabbed Thomas’ hand in an effort to stop him from shoveling down anymore food. Areum walked around the desk and hugged him to her chest, “Thomas it’s okay.”

Breaking down wasn’t really something Thomas on the regular. Or in public for that matter, but here he was clutching Areum and crying hard into her blouse. “I’m so scared, I can’t lose her– my baby sister.”

The two fell into a comfortable silence after half an hour of tears and comforting words. Thomas could hear the soft beating of his coworkers heart; her perfume was a sweet rose mixed with lime zest and cotton. 

The air grew heavy as the two felt a subtle change pulling in their chests, hearts heavy with nerves. Untangling her arms from around him, Areum stepped back, eyes locking on his. 

Her hand lingered on his shoulder a little longer than he was used too. It was like she was the strongest metal and he was merely paper. No way he could have stopped himself from flying into her arms and embracing her properly, no tears this time. 

Thomas was feeling a lot more confident. Cupping the back of Areum’s neck, he tilted her head back to plant a soft kiss to her lips. It was a sweet innocent kiss, which they both savoured. They thought themselves too old to lose themselves to their impulses.

One more kiss wouldn’t hurt. 

~

“One kiss?” Taehyung whined. The sentence seemed so foreign to their ears. Yoongi realized it was because they haven’t been able to be themselves since getting locked in the building. When was the last time he had kissed one of the other members? He almost started laughing. Perhaps it hadn’t been as long as he thought, Hoseok had kissed him in the studio just the day before. 

They turned to see the three maknaes sitting on the couch in Yoongi’s studio. Though Taehyung was the only one to ask, the other two vocalists present looked hopeful sitting patiently on either side of him. Jimin was playing with his hands looking down, not wanting to seem hopeful. On the other hand, Jungkook was being as subtle as a neon sign flashing in the dark, electing to blatantly stare him down.

“I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt,” Namjoon said,  eyeing the door. The chances of someone entering Yoongi’s studio unannounced was slim due to its almost impenetrable locking system. Yoongi was protective of his work and one could never be too sure. 

Namjoon strided over to Taehyung and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. However, Taehyung was quick to grab him by the shirt, holding him there a little longer. Jungkook looked expectantly at Namjoon as the two broke apart but the rapper didn’t spare him a glance. “Good job for asking Taehyungie.” 

Jimin’s plush lips pouted, looking around the room in disbelief meeting the eyes of the two remaining rappers. Hoseok laughed, unable to resist their sad expressions. If they had been anywhere else he wouldn’t hesitate but they had to be careful. They were in the middle of the company’s building and they liked to keep their relationship strictly ambiguous. Boy’s will be boys if you will.

How long had it been since the group had spent some quality time together. Yes, he had kissed Yoongi before dinner the day prior, but before that it had been quite a while since all the boys had been busy with promotions for their new album. 

Being stuck in a building seemed like both a blessing and a curse; they had more time to see eachother but less opportunity to share intimate and romantic gestures like they were used to back home.

Hoseok held Jimin’s cheeks squishing them together as he pressed his lips to Jimin’s soft pillows, “My little dancer.” Taehyung grinned up at Hoseok and smiled, looking innocent with his arms out but they knew he had his moments. Out of all the members Taehyung and Jimin were the most touchy feely. They needed to have physical affection throughout the day; a hand on a shoulder or thigh, anything to give them their quota of human interactions.

“Me too Hyung.” 

“Of course TaeTae.” Hoseok had to admit it felt relaxing to hold and kiss them all again. Pulling away Hoseok smiled, “Jk?”

Jungkook didn’t verbalise his agreement but rather extended his body as far as it could go while trying to remain seated. Hoseok smiled, staying a few inches from the Golden Maknae’s lips smirking at how hard he was trying to reach him.

Jungkook huffed, sitting back in his seat and turning away. His bunny teeth biting into his bottom lip, refusing to look at Hoseok who had embarrassed him. “Come here Jk.”

“No, I don’t want a kiss from you,” he mumbled, playing a game on his phone. For a twenty-two year old he sure acted childish, throwing tantrums when things didn’t go his way, “Come on Jk.”

Hoseok tried to do a cute Aegyo to cheer up the grumpy young adult with little effect. Taking matters into his own hands he took Jungkook’s chin between his thumb and crooked finger and tilted it up, swooping down and pressing his lips against them.

“Let’s  _ all _ get some breakfast.” Hoseok eyed Yoongi, the rappers had agreed to keep the deciphered message a secret and to distract the boys from the topic. Yoongi removed himself reluctantly from his computer and shuffled to the door.

“Yoongi Hyung, I love you.” Taehyung’s voice didn’t waver and he didn’t look like he held a single ounce of regret for his words. He always said exactly what he meant, unashamed. Yoongi’s face, which was naturally relaxed, was obviously held still. He never gave anything away.If he showed weakness someone could use it against him. He nodded and continued heading to the door. 

“Hyung, I said I love you. I won’t leave until you say it back.”

“I love you too hyung,” Jimin giggled, knowing the older man was always reluctant to say how he felt. But right now he could recognise how happy Yoongi was by the faux relaxed expression adjourning his face. Yoongi was surprisingly very shy when it came to expressing his emotions.

“Why aren’t you saying it back?” Hoseok cocked an eyebrow, “You’ll make them upset.”

An inaudible sound that bared the slightest resemblance to their desired declaration reached their ears but they really couldn’t make out the words distinctly. The three vocalists wrapped their arms around Yoongi asking him to speak clearly because they couldn’t hear him. He acted put out before he gave in.

“I love you”

~

Namjoon walked the halls with no destination in mind, he spent his time thinking over everything. He had the company breathing down his neck and he wished he had never told them what was happening. Jimin had been on Vlive a few times and Jin had the night Jungkook hurt his shoulder, but the fans were noticing their absence more and more during the pandemic. He texted Jimin suggesting they do a Vlive together so they could give Army some reassurance that everything was fine.

Walking past Thomas’ office, he heard a clatter and realized he wasn’t the only one feeling stress and worry from recent events. “Thomas,” Namjoon poked his head inside and yelped. He saw Areum on the desk in just a skirt and bra. Thomas quickly slid off his jacket. 

“Oh my god.” Areum covered her face. Namjoon looked at the floor, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a foil packet. One of the ones the boys had won from the intense poker game that felt almost a year ago but in reality it was only a few weeks.

“I just heard a noise and was checking if you were doing okay. Um… I am going to go, but you should have this,” He laughed, still staring at the floor. He threw Thomas the packet before retreating.

“Hey Joonie, we are going to breakfast, you coming?” Jimin called as the elevator arrived. He nodded following the five members step into the elevator before laughing. “What’s so funny?”

“I walked in on Thomas and Areum, and so I threw them a condom and left.” They all looked shocked.

“He didn’t!”

“That guy is so smooth.”


	32. 18/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me again for the late submission, I have to not forget to post on two different platforms, and the bts BangBangCon had me very distracted. There will be another chapter later today.

Seokjin sat beside your bed drifting in and out of consciousness, watching the rise and fall of your chest. At first, it was hard to look at you, your features strained and obviously in pain, but as the night rolled over to the day you seemed almost peaceful. Cheeks warming into a soft peach hue. There was life in you yet.

He watched a sleek ginger cat walk through the open clinic door and jump onto the end of the bed. Its tiny bell tinkled. Seokjin sat up, ready to move the feline before it had a chance to hurt you.

“Leave the cat, just watch.” The soldier in the neighboring bed smiled at Seokjin. The cat gently walked up the bed and nestled by your injured thigh and started purring. “Cat’s purrs are said to help the healing process.”

“Mister Kim, I think you should get in contact with your friends before they worry themselves further,” Doctor Chang called from the door. He had showered, combed his hair and even shaved his shadow of a beard. He looked more respectable in fresh clean clothes and his white uniform coat. 

Seokjin realized the tight feeling he had in his chest. It all made sense; he missed the boys deeply and wished to just embrace them and recharge mentally.

“Thank you for last night. Here is your jacket,” The doctor smiled handing over the folded outerwear. Seokjin tried not to grow bashful at the appreciative words, and picked up the walkie talkie ready to contact his friends. His phone now had service above ground but had run out of battery.

With a small breath, he spoke clearly into the walkie, “This is Kim Seokjin, uh… I am uh trying to get in contact with BigHit”

“Kim Seokjin!” a voice called and he knew that tone, it was a fan. It only took a few minutes for the radio to sound off a mess of voices calling for him and announcing their love for him. The military, who were now in the area dealing with the gangs, began scolding these fans for misusing the emergency radios.

“This is Kim Namjoon, calling for Kim Seokjin, are you okay? Where are you?”

“Namjoon, I made it. I am safe. We are fine.”

“Mister Kim, we have been made aware of your situation with our more secure radio channel. We will send some men out to collect you and take you back to your company when the area is secured.”

“Ah, thank you,” he smiled, turning to see the soldier in his bed with radio in hand. 

“Hyung, let’s not use the radio’s cause we are now trending on twitter.” 

“Okay, my phone is out of battery but I’ll try to find some way to charge it.”

Feeling like perhaps things were looking up, Seokjin headed back to your bedside, seeing you stir momentarily. You were mumbling about shooting someone and he knew the memories must have been haunting you.

Taking your hand in his, he wondered when he would see your sparkling eyes open once more and gaze upon him.

~

All the boys had been present for Seokjin’s news and they were cheering and hugging each other. They had deciphered the message earlier when the oldest stressed the word other. They hoped that the message they received that night had indeed just been distorted and that you hadn’t actually been injured.

“Hyung they are safe!” Jimin grinned as he and Taehyung jumped circles around Namjoon, “Jin-Hyung said they are okay.”

Namjoon received a message calling him to speak with a few of the higher-ups. Looking at the boys in the midst of celebration, he quickly excused himself, catching Jungkook’s eye on the way out.

What did they want to see him about? He knew they were already in trouble for speaking over the radio. The fans and social media were going wild with theories of what was happening and he was too scared to even peak at the damage.

The elevator ride was, as always, slow and kind of stuffy but once he reached the third floor from the top, he sighed. The air was so cool and clean. Pulling his sleeves down and smoothing his unruly hair he approached the reception.

“Ah Kim Namjoon-ssi, please follow me to the meeting room.” He followed a thin young man in a suit to an elaborate meeting room designed for at least thirty board members to be present. But today? There was a single chair at the side of the long table.

The young man turned on the thin laptop, set up the headset, and selected CEO Bang Si-Hyuk icon on the screen. Namjoon smiled politely, trying not to appear guilty in front of the CEO. 

“Good day. I heard you have made quite a commotion late this morning. There are magazines and social media outlets asking ‘Where is Jin?’ and they want a statement as to why he is outside of the company building, who he is with and why he needs a military escort. What are you expecting me to tell the press?”

“Well– we can state that Jungkook dislocated his shoulder and the two went to the clinic together. And now he needs an escort back as we were informed there are some violent groups in the area that have been causing trouble.”

“As long as you know that this is a warning– if you do something like this again and put your images in jeopardy it will be a breach of contract. I don’t want to have to penalize anyone and I definitely don’t want to remove anyone from the band.”

“Yes sir, understood,” Namjoon sighed brushing his palms down his face.

“I would like regular updates on this female that seems to be causing trouble within the group. None of this was happening before you met her and I hope you aren’t thinking of breaking our dating policy. We have allowed you to have one night stands but we don’t want to cause any more scandals.” Bang Si-Hyuk looked comfortable in his home, but the dull light in his eyes showed he was put out by the latest internet exposure. “I will send out the statement. You boys know I don’t want to be the bad guy. I am trying to do what is best for you.”

“We understand sir, I will speak to the others and remind them of our obligations”

“Good man, keep me in the loop and I will speak to you soon.”

~ 

Seokjin woke up with a start. There was a commotion in the clinic; he could see people that were badly injured. He walked around to see if anyone needed help. People were on the floor, all pink and blistered, gasping for breath. “Doctor Chang! What happened?”

“The building had a leak– they all have serious chemical burns and poisoning from the gas.” Doctor Chang sighed, “There are too many of them; the hospital is filled and they have already sent some to nearby health centers but there aren’t enough beds. Can you pass me the saline bags behind you?” 

Seokjin handed them over, becoming more concerned. “We have to find these patients beds,” The doctor said, stacking more items onto a trolley.

“They can have mine. Doc, is there anything I can do?” A lethargic voice spoke softly. Seokjin turned so fast he felt his neck pop loudly. “My bed is free.”

“No! You were shot,” Seokjin said and you sighed, “I slept for a long time. I am fine, let me give my bed up. I am recovering and they are suffering, let me give them some comfort.”

The place was packed wall to wall and after some grueling work and care to the injured, everyone seemed to be taken care of. Multiple soldiers arrived announcing that they would be escorting Seokjin back to the company. He looked surprised to see you dressed in a suit as well.

“Why are you dressed?”

“I am coming back with you. I want to be comfortable somewhere quiet and dark. There are no more beds– I would just get in the way if I stay any longer. I will be on bed rest at the company, so it will be fine.” 

Seokjin saw the desperation in your eyes at the idea of leaving the clinic and nodded softly. “I have antibiotics and painkillers and I can come back when I need the drain removed. The government says they are going to stop the fog so it won’t be as dangerous to walk to the clinic and back.”

Reluctantly agreeing, the two of you made the final trek to the company. Seokjin held your hand the whole way. He could see you getting tired from walking, trying to mask the pain in your thigh. He lifted you up onto his back, letting you rest your head in the crook of his shoulder.He heard your breathing even out and knew you had fallen asleep, your exhausted body still recovering. 

You arrived at the Big Hit building and he set you down on the pavement, smiling at you as you yawned behind your visor. The fog was getting lighter as the day dragged on.

The building had just opened the doors, when Seokjin saw something pass the corner of his eye in the fading fog. He saw Thomas and the boys waiting in the lobby waving at you both, Taehyung and Hoseok with happy tears in their eyes. “Come on let’s go inside.”

Seokjin looked down at you. The smile on your face from seeing everyone again had him feeling warm and fuzzy; he wanted to hold you and kiss you in ways friends did not. He wanted to show you how much you meant to him and he knew his band members wanted the same.

Placing his hand delicately to the curve of your waist, he moved to your side, “You are so beautiful.” 

You blushed, cheeks reddening as you looked up at him. Everything seemed so surreal at that moment; the glow of your cheeks seemed to light up your face inside the visor, eyes sparkling brightly. That is until– the visor splattered red.

It all happened so fast– there was a noise that echoed in his ear, loudly ringing out through the street. He watched your body fall like a rag doll. Loud popping sounds continued going off around him.

Jin rolled you onto your back and saw a bloodied hole in the side of your headpiece. Blood pooled out from your head. Your body was lifeless, eyes no longer contained their sparkle. 

Everything happened so unexpectedly, he turned away from your dead body and proceeded to vomit onto the sidewalk. What happened to the smiling girl from just a few minutes ago. Where did he go wrong? 

Seokjin could register several voices screaming hysterically; Captain Won-Shik pulled Seokjin away from your corpse, dragging him safely inside. The captain shouted about tracking down every single gang member before running back onto the street to continue the search for any hidden gunmen.

Seokjin looked across the room at Taehyung who was crying so hard it didn’t sound human. That’s when he heard a very distinct meow and something soft brush his cheek.

Eyes shooting open, Seokjin was face to face with the ginger cat who meowed once more, rubbing its soft cheeks against his. He felt how wet his cheeks were and knew he had been crying.

If you have read any of my other work you know how much dreams mean to me. This one is packed with symbolism the first being y/n getting shot which basically symbolises a new beginning. Seokjin feels like he has finally closed a chapter of his life and is ready to face another.

The whole story is symbolic like the thick fog symbolizes troubles, confusion, scandals, worries, and uncertainty, going over a problem or issue in life that will help you see things in a new way. The fog surrounding your body - is a representation of uncertainty of a relationship and fog on land indicates that you may face a challenging time in the future. 

The dream and the chapter all represent closing and love and acceptance and starting a new a perfect way to end the Arc and begin the lead up to the new arc.

The next chapter is really sweet compared to this one so hang in there haha. <3 


	33. 19/04/2020

Waking up was like taking the stairs the day after competing in the  Tour de France; your whole body was screaming at you that it wasn’t worth it. Sleep some more, don’t get up– but the pain was making it impossible to rest peacefully.

You woke groggily, looking at a small ginger cat at the end of the bed. It meowed softly at you, looking up and cleaning its little paws. “I see you are awake.” 

In a cot towards your left was a soldier with a bullet wound to the arm, “You look better when you're not bleeding out.” The words came out hoarse, your vocal cords a little stiff from the lack of use.

“I could say the same for you, your friend has been anxious since he carried you inside the clinic,” He chuckled under his breath, gaze turning fond at whatever stirred his thoughts. “My mother always told me if I ever wanted a child– to ask for a daughter. She said girls have a fight in them and even when the odds are stacked against them. They hang on with every ounce of willpower”

“We match now, we are in an elite club; only those who have been shot can join. We can make jackets?” You started to fully gather your bearings and tried to lift yourself into a sitting position, instead opting to use the bed controls. 

“Your friend is in the shower, he is a rather handsome young man. Are you two…”

“No we aren’t but I can put in a good word for you.” The words fell from your lips but you weren’t feeling playful. It is hard to be friendly when you are exhausted from your near-death experience.

“That’s not what I meant,” The soldier's voice died out. He understood when you grimaced squeezing your eyes shut that you weren’t ready. “It gets better, I will tell you that. Each day it becomes more tolerable. If you need anything, I am happy to help. I am Cadet Sun-ki”

“Nice to meet you,” the words seeped through your lips. Though, you weren’t sure if you had even moved them or if you had given the world's most undignified groan.

“I didn’t catch that– but rest. You have gone through so much already.” 

You felt heavy. The bed you laid on felt like a raft floating atop an ocean, aimlessly drifting. It was peaceful for the first few silent minutes but it soon began to churn your stomach and you had the urge to vomit. 

“Ah my friend you have returned, you look refreshed,” Cadet Sun-ki’s voice was low and gravelly; it wasn’t an uncomfortable noise. “Your girlfriend woke while you were away.”

“She is not my girlfriend.” 

“But you want her to be.”

“Of course I do,” His voice was so sure. He didn’t hesitate, leaving you pressing your lips into a thin line to try and not laugh or smile.

“You seem pretty eager.” Using all your strength to open your eyes was definitely worth the comedic relief, his mouth in an ‘o’ shape as he grabbed his chest. “You look like you have seen a ghost.”

“I mean you weren’t far off when he brought you here,” Doctor stepped in handing Seokjin his phone, “It’s all charged, you seem to have a lot of missed messages and calls.”

“Ah thank you.” __

“And you missy, what do you think you are doing, playing hero? Weren’t you supposed to stay safe when I sent you out into the outside world,” he sighed sitting on the end of the bed, “You look like trash”

“You smell like it.”

“I will have you know I took a shower this morning.” You could hear the pout in his voice but your eyes had slid shut. “You must feel like hell.”

“I feel like I would rather not today. Today is cancelled.”

“Well, today can be cancelled for you, but I have to check your vitals before moving onto the rest of the patients.”

“Ah… It’s weird but like I feel like you remind me of someone?” You rubbed your chin feigning thoughtfulness, “like a weird boss I once worked for.”

You grinned as he wrapped your arm with a blood pressure cuff “I don’t like this.”

The doctor cocked an eyebrow. The confusion on his face was easy to read as he tapped his pointed finger at the blood pressure cuff in question. “What the hyeol-abgye?” 

“Is that what you call it? Ha, that’s easier than the English name.”

“What would that be?”

“Sphygmomanometer.” Wincing as the cuff grew tight around your arm, the room filled with laughter, “You think it sounds funny too? It gets me every time.”

~

Reluctantly, Seokjin had to leave back to the BigHit building as he was taking up space within the clinic. His phone was blowing up requesting his urgent return. The soldiers who came to escort Seokjin brought the bag from your brother's busted car into the clinic, handing you your phone.

“Call and text us whenever you are free. The soldiers say the government has stopped pumping the strong disinfectant into the streets; so the fog should disappear by the end of the day. Once the fog is cleared we can visit you.” He looked like he wanted to sneak you into his suit and carry you home. “So don’t get sad.”

“Ah Jinnie, I think you are the one who is sad. Come here and say goodbye.” 

“When your phone charges ring your brother and perhaps the boys, otherwise poor Jin will be bombarded when he returns.” Seokjin set up your phone and charger after a quick hug goodbye. Then he headed out to the waiting room where he dressed and left with the soldiers.

He shivered, remembering his dream and how vivid it seemed; but otherwise, he felt good. Feeling like he was ready–for what–he didn’t know. The one thing he did realise is that whatever was to come, he wasn’t anxious over it.

The walk back seemed shorter and the level of visibility seemed to increase. He could see shapes in the fog a few meters away. A part of him searched the shadows for any sign of threat, but he had come up empty. Stepping into the lobby, Seokjin saw it was fairly empty for this time in the morning; everyone must be working, ready for the fog to be lifted. 

He took the elevator to the meeting room and saw Thomas on the phone with you. Areum was sitting by his side gently rubbing his back.

“Jin, Y/n told us everything that happened. Did you really carry her to the clinic?” 

Jungkook appeared, smiling happily that his hyung had returned, and gave him a respectable bro hug that didn’t linger. They had company to worry about and they didn’t feel comfortable revealing their relationship to them.

“What else was I supposed to do? Make her walk? She was shot in the leg and then passed out behind the wheel of her brother’s car. Doctor Chang and I had to perform surgery– me Jk!”

“Shot!” Jimin shouted, “She said she got a graze on a fence running from the gunmen.”

“Thanks Jin,” she laughed dryly as her brother started to go off. He was speaking so fast in English everyone settled to just watch the two of you argue. “Yes I got shot– aren’t I brave? And my dear brother your car is no more, wait until the outdoor ban is lifted and scold me then. I am rather tired.”

~

Thomas was livid and demanded to know everything that happened. Seokjin was kicking himself for spilling secrets but took responsibility. He sat down and retold the story in all the gory details from running for their lives to wrestling for his survival and the gunman who shot you.

“We didn’t realise she was hit, but they had shot at the same time she got him in the neck. His bullet went straight through her suit and thigh.” Jungkook was pulling at the peach fuzz on his neck, Jimin was biting his nails nervously until Yoongi and Hoseok grabbed his small hands in each of theirs.

“She was shaking and wouldn’t wake up. I decided it was time to go, things had gotten so bad by that point and I knew we had to move or she wouldn’t make it.” He was trying to keep his voice free of emotion but he finally felt safe to let them out and fully mourn for that time. This was his closure.

“Once the surgery was done, that was all we could do. The rest was up to her,” He held his hands out to Jungkook, who was crying, and pulled the boy onto his lap, “but the doctor told me something she doesn’t know yet.”

“What is it?” Thomas asked. Everyone thought the whole story was wild enough and they wanted to know everything to ease their minds.

“Doctor Chang said she will have to learn to walk again with that leg. The muscles will be weak and considering the damage and the time it took to get medical treatment, she…” He tilted his head back trying to blink away the tears, his lips trembled and the tips of his ears turned red. 

“She won’t be able to dance again,” Yoongi said, gently touching his shoulder relating immensely to her. He too had been in a similar situation. The injury to his shoulder he never sought medical attention for now prevented him from doing everyday things.

Jimin and Hoseok were almost inconsolable, the two felt strongly about dancing and could never dream of stopping. 

The group headed down for dinner where Namjoon brought up their contracts and some recommendations from the board of directors and the CEO, Bang PD himself. They nodded solemnly as the air around the table turned particularly melancholy. 


	34. 20/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a face time video the boys share with you after dinner in chapter 33. Please watch the volume. It is fake subs and I left the Vlive mark for copywriter reasons.

Follow the link to see the video

[[Video]](https://youarejesting.tumblr.com/post/615831754351263744/masterlist-editor-yoongisauce-pairing-bts-x)

This is a face time that happens after the dinner in 33.

This is a domestic call something soft I made because I was distracted by the concert haha. Enjoy. **_Careful of volume!_**

**Disclaimer** : I do not own the footage that belongs to BigHit, Run BTS. It is posted under the copyright law fair use. The purpose and character of the use, including whether such use is of a commercial nature or is for nonprofit educational purposes. (I don’t make any profit from this). The subtitles are FAKE go to Vlive or the BTS YouTube channel to watch the real thing it is funny.


	35. 21/04/2020

They all waved goodbye to you on the facetime call and Jimin hung up with a smile and a sweet whisper of goodnight. Namjoon was quick to grab Taehyung by the arm and walk him to the side of the room. 

“Tae what did I say at dinner? We aren’t allowed to date, remember the contract. I have the company breathing down my neck, you can’t get attached to her,” He said gently holding the younger males cheek, brushing his thumbs over flawless caramel skin.

Taehyung’s thick eyebrows rose in a childlike expression of sadness. “Hyung, I love her,” he said quietly, his face falling into something more his age. “Why can’t I? We can’t date but I can speak my mind. I can love her and no contract can stop me. When we listened to you she got hurt.”

Namjoon released Taehyung’s face in shock, the jab pierced him like an arrow through the chest. He had been trying to forget what he had done, but he knew they all remembered and blamed him. “Tae, I–”

“No!” He pushed Namjoon away, “I am seeing her tomorrow whether you want me to or not. I love her Hyung, she is just like me. None of you understand, but I know she thinks the same way I do. She knows what we are all thinking. And now because of us, all this has happened to her.”

“She will never be able to dance again,” Jimin whispered, his eyes still wet from tears, a sweet rose color tinted the tip of his nose. Namjoon’s chest constricted, another arrow straight to the heart. 

Chest growing tighter and uncomfortably warm as dark thoughts polluted his mind, it made him feel sick. He swallowed, his lips pulling into a thin line, cheeks taught showing off his dimple but unlike every other time they saw it, Namjoon wasn’t happy. No, he looked indisputably tortured and strained.

“Okay,” his voice broke from the silent sob that tore from his chest, body shaking from the force of his gasps. Namjoon walked towards the door, throwing off the plethora of hands that tried to stop him. It’s not like he didn’t care for the girl ; he liked everything he knew about her so far, she really did know what he was thinking. 

Namjoon headed to his studio, writing lyrics in his head. Anger and hate-filled his body. The song building in his head was fueled by the hate he felt for his two different personalities: the Namjoon who followed orders and the Namjoon who wanted freedom. The verses were like letters of resentment from each part of him to the other.

The verses showed the regret, jealousy, longing, empathy, and anger both sides felt for the other. Both sides equal in the amount of emotion they portrayed. Namjoon finished writing the rap and put it to music, his words battling for victory. His phone lit up with a message from you. He knew which side won in that moment; the anger and raw emotion in his throat died as he delivered the last line in a soft whisper.

~

Thomas was lying in his office staring at the ceiling, the soft subtle breathing sounds and the arm wrapped around his waist was all that kept him grounded. He texted his sister hoping she was okay. His anxiety was so strong that Areum woke blinking slowly.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay. They said the fog will be gone by tomorrow afternoon. You can see her then.” Areum skimmed her fingertips delicately over his bare chest and tried to lull him into some form of sleep.

~

Doctor Chang wandered into the ward, coffee in hand, letting you know he had been hanging out with the vending machines in the reception once more. He saw your incredulous stare that landed on the palm of his hand. A cheeky smile stealing away the worn-out appearance which had become an almost permanent fixture atop his face.

“Ah, this.” His hand got lost behind his head vigorously messing with his hair.

“Doctor Chang, you should not be drinking this many coffees in a day,” scolding him and trying to snatch the beverage from his hand when he stepped within reach.

“Relax before you pull a stitch.” He pressed your shoulder back to the mattress, checking the wound. He handed you a medicine cup with a few painkillers rattling around inside. “How are you feeling?”

“Well, anything is better than getting shot so pretty freaking good. Still a little bit tender, a few aches here and there.” Doctor Chang looked at the way your hands scrunched the hospital blanket. 

“Do you have any questions? Or worries?” Your face tilted up examining the hesitation in his eyes.

“Nothing, should I be worried?” A small tense giggle filling the space around the room.

“Just let me know if anything comes to mind.” 

The doctor retreated quickly, leaving you alone in the room with two sleeping patients and Cadet Sun-ki, who was scrolling on his phone with his good hand.

“He is worried about you.”

“Yeah I can tell, he’s keeping something from me. I seemed to be getting that treatment a lot, enough for me to pick it up easily.” Pulling back the blanket and helping your leg over the side of the bed, you held the bed firmly sliding down until your feet met the cold tiles. You supported your weight onto your good leg and the IV pole.

“Where are you going?” Sun-ki asked abruptly, dropping his phone onto his nose “Ow, my face.”

“I am just going to the bathroom.” You made your escape while he was busy clutching his abused face. You hobbled down the hall reaching your destination. Distracted by memories of the shower stall, the very one Jungkook had kissed you in before leaving in your place.

With enough concentration, you could almost imagine the feeling of his lips against yours like they had been that day. You were tired, the short walk brought you so much pain and exhaustion. 

At that moment you decided you needed answers. If the confessions from Jungkook and Seokjin held any truth, what they had said to you that day were all lies. So why say it? Why did they feel the need to hurt you? You decided the poor maknaes were not a part of it and even to some extent you forgave Seokjin. But the others had broken your trust; they had destroyed your self-esteem and you wanted answers.

The burning in your thigh is a testament to the burning in your heart. Phone in hand you sent a text to Namjoon asking him a simple question.


	36. 22/04/2020

**[Y/n: Why?]**

Namjoon stared at the question for longer than he needed and the longer he stared the letters seemed to grow into a plea. This wasn’t something he could answer easily because he himself didn’t know why.

He slumped in his chair in the studio and pressed his thumbs into his temples in a desperate effort to relieve the ache inside. He was stumped. It was ironic, Namjoon the lyrical genius finally lost for words.

There was so much he wished to say but he didn’t have the right words, but as the words of his desire corroded his obligations to the company, he found his fingers typing away.

He expressed how he felt at the time: his reasoning, his regret and everything in between in a lengthy message. As an afterthought, he wrote a separate message with three little words that ripped through his chest harder than he expected, creating a canyon between his conflicting sides. 

He knew of his priorities but that didn’t stop him from looking longingly at his freedom drifting further away across the void. He would give himself this moment, to speak and express himself truthfully, but he knew he did not trust himself to walk the battered bridge connecting both of his personas.

**[Namjoon: I miss you. I miss you being there.]**

~

You woke to an uncomfortably tight feeling in your thigh, the intensity worse than any muscle cramp. Your hands dug through blankets to find the hurting limb and ease the tension it held. 

White hot pain bloomed like sweet flowers budding and piercing through snow with the promise of spring. Your spring came in the form of Doctor Chang and some painkillers, he shushed you quietly trying not to wake the other patients.

He held you as you quietly sobbed into his white coat. He gripped you tightly, encouraging you to breath between your silent screams. When everything numbed once more, Doctor Chang made a promise of breakfast and shuffled away quickly. 

“You will relive it for a while, it will haunt your dreams,” the timber notes of Sun-ki’s voice were amplified by the lack of use overnight, “Are you okay?”

“I really am. It’s more inconvenient and annoying than it is scary.” A shiver passed through you as you sat up, shirt drenched in sweat.

~

Jimin was drenched in sweat. He had woken early, skipping breakfast to start his morning dance practice, going through the routines and singing along. He gave everything he had into his performance and then replayed the video back noticing every little detail he needed to work on.

He gave up on watching the footage, disgusted by his work. He placed the small camera on the floor beside him, the music playing out. Meeting his own gaze in the mirror, he pointed out more and more flaws. He turned his head away from the reflection, unable to stand the sight of himself. Feeling defeated, he laid down on the floor of the dance studio, the sounds of older footage of him and the boys practicing echoed through the room.

A song played that grabbed his attention, one they had never danced to. His head rolled to the side catching sight of you on the tiny screen. Your movements were smooth and precise. It looked like you floated on a cloud and it took zero effort.

Jimin wondered how anyone could glance over your dancing and not get captivated by it. He was so entranced by your dancing that he didn’t realize an hour had passed. He could watch you dancing non stop. You never missed a beat or botched a move. Between songs your chest would rapidly flutter back and forth as you gasped for breath.

He smiled when you would play a song again because you enjoyed the routine. When you cried he cried and when you laughed and giggled from some silly moves his laugh mixed with yours.

Hoseok entered the studio and joined Jimin on the floor. The two ended up sitting and watching you dance. You didn’t tire even when the sun began to rise; you had cleaned up your sweat and changed your shirt midway through, the sun creating a golden glow against your skin.

Tears started flowing in abundance as they watched you dance to Black Swan. The lyrics hit hard as they watched you cry but you looked more determined to prove the words in the song wrong. You weren’t ready to give in. You had accepted the stagnate point of your life. Now you were ready to delve back into dancing, like you were reborn.

If this can no longer resonate No longer make my heart vibrate Then like this may be how I die my first death But what if that moment's right now Right now

They couldn’t watch anymore, turning the camera off. Hoseok pulled Jimin against him, brushing the younger man’s soft hair with his fingers. The two couldn’t comprehend a life without dancing and they knew you would be shattered by the news. Jimin’s lips trembled against Hoseok’s neck as he tried to calm down with the soothing scent of his hyung.

Jimin had exhausted himself from crying, his puffy eyes closed as he drifted off safely in his hyung’s arms. 

~

You were pretty happy. The boys were going to see you later in the day and you just finished lunch which consisted of pudding and foods that weren’t fermented or overtly spiced. Sun-ki was a little mischief maker. He went for ‘walks’ down the halls and returned with snacks and drinks from the vending machines which he shared with you.

The teen you had escorted to the hospital with the appendicitis stopped by to your ward. His name was Mal-chin. He asked you what it was like to get shot.

He thought you were ‘so cool’ when you told him about your adventure out in the fog to rescue your friend, leaving out certain parts like how you had killed someone.

Hangyeol understood when you went silent and when you didn’t want to talk about something. Sun-ki was quick to take over, telling him about all the things you learn in the military.

“There was that one time we went to the training camp and stole the captains underwear and hung them from the flagpole. We all had to crab walk with our hands on our ears the whole field three times,” He laughed. You seized the moment and took a slow walk from your bed down the halls. You made it to the reception and saw the fog was almost clear.

You sat for a moment, mustering the strength for a return trip, when you heard a baby crying. Following the sound, you came across a small ward with a familiar face.

“Bu Myunghee.” The name slipped from your lips and she turned with a smile, her baby was fussing and she was trying to console her. “When did you get here?”

“The hospital is over capacity at the moment and so after my check up I was sent here.” She bounced her baby gently trying to stop the crying. “Would you mind holding her while I go to the toilet? I have been trying to put her to sleep for an hour now.”

“Of course I don’t mind. Hello little Choonhee.” Securing her in your hands you saw the baby raise her legs up as she cried. Laying the baby on the bed, you gently raised and lowered her legs while massaging her belly, “You have a tummy ache, don’t you?”

It was funny how in that moment you couldn’t feel the pain in your leg; you could only focus on the tiny being crying for some help.


	37. 23/04/2020

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: This chapter is my love letter to my readers, but I want them to read it out loud to themselves because sometimes the best way to show yourself how much you care is to pretend you’re writing to someone else. We often devalue ourselves and put others first but not today. Today is about self-love. 
> 
> Editor’s note: Hey y’all Bueller here and I just want to let you all know that I SEE YOU. I see all the people who are self-conscious, the ones who mask their insecurities with self-deprecating jokes. I know because I do that sometimes. All you can do is give yourself as much love as you can when you can. We all have bad days but hopefully, the good ones outweigh that. I hope you enjoy this chapter because I know I did. Self-love and respect flowing in this chapter.

Yoongi had been fussing in his studio for a while. He was trying to decide what to take when they went to visit you. He had his fila duffle bag and inside he had packed you a change of outfit which consisted of Shooky underwear and a BTS hoodie that had ‘Suga’ on the back. He held ‘Banana Yoshimoto - Kitchen’ in his hand, it was his favorite book at the moment and he wanted to share it with you. 

He pressed his lips together and carried the bag and headed towards the basement to grab anything else he thought you would need. Like perhaps Shooky slippers?

~

Taehyung has been texting you since you had gotten off the phone yesterday evening; he took pictures and sent cute texts. He just was finishing telling you about what he had for lunch when he sent you a picture of a park asking if you would go with him when everything was better.

He was such a sweet guy you couldn’t say no.

[Tae: And you can be my model for a photo shoot]

Maybe you could say no.

~

A mass text was sent out; Sun-ki explained the ban was lifted and people could go home but to be careful and seek medical attention if anything happens. You hummed trying to quell the anticipation of seeing the boys once more.

There was this weird nervous feeling that crept through your chest. You hadn’t left on the best of terms with them. How would you approach them? How would they approach you? It seemed the boys were trying to avoid it, glossing over the fact that they had hurt you.

Should you follow their lead and leave it in the past? Maybe. Were you going to? Hell No. You were going to address it. You didn’t, by any chance, want to create enemies. You wanted to resolve this.

They were your friends and you missed them dearly but there was no way in hell you were going to be treated like that. Toxic behavior isn’t acceptable and you deserve more than that. You knew that now.

You didn’t need them to point out all those horrible things. You saw all of your own imperfections and knew how to tear yourself down better than anyone. Wishing that the discovery of self-worth had come sooner, you pulled out your phone and wrote yourself a letter.

Dear [your name],

I am the only me to exist in this world. I have come so far and grown as a person. To the me who was so afraid of rejection you never tried anything new: I hope you know your time is over. I hope I can continue to experience and try all the things I have always wanted. It’s okay to fail. But giving up isn’t an option. Each new day brings new obstacles but each day brings little joys. 

I have people who care for me as I care for them. I have people to live for and take care of. The you from the past used to rely so much on support, confidence, and love from others–from people who didn’t truly know us–when it was I who should have encouraged you. I should have loved you the way you deserved, I should have been there when you needed me.

I pushed away our feelings, but they are valid. I shouldn’t have run away from our emotions. I don’t have to prove my worth.

I am here for us now as I always should have been.

I am worthy of love.

I am beautiful even when I believe I am not.

I am strong, look at all the things you have done.

I am not always going to be perfect but I am enough. 

You are enough.

Love, [Your name]

“This is her room here,” Thomas’ voice shook you from your emotional moment. You sat up from the uncomfortable pillow at your back, wiping away your tears with a small laugh.

“Thomas!” You say looking over his shoulder and there was no denying the disappointment that ran through you. Areum arrived after Thomas, apologizing for not bringing any get-well gifts because all the stores were still closed.

You tried to not make it obvious that you were checking your phone and the door, but you couldn’t help when your eyes slid away from their faces. They were a no show. You should be happy to see your brother and Areum but you only felt upset at the boys’ absence.

~

Later that evening while eating dinner there was a quiet rap on the door to the small ward you shared with cadet Sun-ki. Turning to the door you saw the group of boys poke their heads in. First were the three maknaes, the others filing in after. Namjoon was the last to enter, standing quietly towards the back of the group.

“Sorry we couldn’t visit earlier. We were worried about paparazzi,” Seokjin smiled, winking at Sun-ki who coughed into his vending machine Ramyeon, “My handsome face attracts all the attention.”

It was surprising to see even Yoongi more talkative than the genius who had sent such a lengthy message the night before and even claimed to miss you. This wasn’t a time to question him. He must feel about as nervous as you do. 

You opened your mouth, ready to bring up the elephant in the room, but Hoseok beat you to it. He took your hand and with the sincerest and most serious look on his face he started talking to you. If you were honest most of what he said was lost in translation, he literally was talking so fast that you thought he was trying to show you a new rap he was working on.

“Hobi, Hobi, I don’t understand. Can you please use small words and slow down?”

“I am sorry I lied to you. I thought you would be safe here. I thought you hating me would be better than you getting hurt, but I know now my words hurt you more than anything.”

“What you boys said to me that day hurt worse than getting shot and I know because I have been shot,” you said, reluctant to accept his apology. You definitely weren’t going to let anyone else ride on Hoseok’s coat tails. If they wanted to apologize they would have to say it themselves. 

“I don’t blame the maknaes, they didn’t say anything to the extent you four did,” your voice strong, “The four of you need to earn my trust again.” 

You wanted them to learn from their mistakes and you couldn’t do that without having them stew a little longer on their wrongdoings. “I am so glad you were honest Hobi, it means the world to me that you opened up about this, but it’ll still be a long way before I trust you enough to call you my friend.”

Hoseok let go of your hand, a tense silence filled the room. All of their gazes shifted, none of them wanting to look you in the eyes. They knew what they did was shameful and they felt terrible for it.

“I brought you some things,” Yoongi sighed, breaking the silence. He made it seem like a chore that he had to go out of his way for you, “A change of clothes, a book and a few other things I thought you might need.”

“Is that what the bag is for?” Jungkook accused Yoongi, who had placed the bag on the bed and walked across the room to stare out the window, “You didn’t tell us you were packing a bag, I would have packed her some things.”

“When you say you packed clothes, you really mean you packed your merch: Shooky slippers, underwear and a Suga hoodie. What is this?”

“That's a pair of my sweatpants and this is a picture of Min Holly,” Yoongi shrugged, showing you a picture of his beloved dog, “I thought that would make you feel better.” Jimin set up the bedside table with all Yoongi’s gifts he had raided from his home.

“Wait a minute. Is this why you were cooking all afternoon?” Seokjin accused the small rapper who turned facing the window, the tips of his ears flushing pink. “You sly kitty.”


	38. 24/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh my mistake things have been hectic.

Seokjin demanded they all get a share of the food Yoongi prepared and snuck in from home. Everyone sat around sharing the meal quietly. Jungkook was in the middle of a bowl of Yoongi’s special, Spaghetti Aglio e Olio, when Doctor Chang interrupted.

“Good to see you again Mister Jeon, I hope your shoulder is feeling better. I would like to spend a few minutes of your time conducting a brief check up, if you will.” Jungkook looked up at the doctor chewing his mouthful of noodles.

His gaze fell to his bowl and then to the large container Yoongi had used to sneak the contraband into the hospital. There was a significant portion gone already and he knew the others would definitely want a second helping. Swallowing, Jungkook looked back up at the Doctor with an innocent expression that seemed to say, ‘But what about my dinner?’

Hoseok laughed, squeezing the youngest’s thigh, “Give me your bowl.” Jungkook’s eyes widened and he tried to stuff his cheeks with the delicious pasta before it was taken from him. “I meant I was going to fill it and put it aside, slow down.”

Jungkook grinned, his cheeks big and eyes gleaming happily watching Hoseok serve him another full helping and handing it back. 

“Put it up here Kookie. I will make sure they don’t eat it.” Jungkook continued shoveling food into his mouth, reluctant to hand the bowl over.

“I am glad to see your appetite is good,” The doctor smiled, gesturing to the door.

“I am a growing boy.” The pasta was unsuccessful at softening the cheeky grin on his face. The two walked to the door and out of sight, their voices floating further away down the hall.

“That idiot– he’s fully grown. How dare he say that? How much more does he want to grow he can get in line,” Jimin growled pointing his fork at the doorway, “Seriously the nerve of–”

Yoongi took the opportunity to stop Jimin’s rant early by shoving more pasta in the sweet vocalist’s face, “Ignore him Jiminie.”

~

“Alright. Finally, if you can lift your arms up over your head and make slow circles– that looks really good. It seems like you are healing quite well Mister Jeon,” Doctor Chang grinned, finishing up the report that he would have to send to his company, who requested the check up.

“You may be more prone to dislocations in that joint from now on so please be mindful of that,” he smiled up at the boy who sat swinging his legs and clacking the sides of his shoes together, “Do you have any questions?”

Jungkook pondered and for a moment Doctor Chang thought he would put his finger to his chin in mock thought, like children do. “If you think of anything don’t hesitate to call.”

~

“So, I helped her deliver her baby. I have never in my life delivered a baby and I was scared out of my wits. Thank gosh Doctor Chang was in my ear telling me what to do and look out for,” You smiled at Myunghee who had joined you all in the small ward; she thought you would be alone but was surprised to see a large group of boys playing tetris on the single hospital cot.

After giving him permission to hold Choonhee, Taehyung had practically snatched the baby from her mother. 

“Gwiyeom,” Taehyung’s deep baritone voice filled the room like honey. The sound made you smile softly at his adorable antics. Namjoon was looking over the permed brunette’s shoulder at the baby, smiling so brightly his dimples appeared. 

“She is so cute.” Namjoon looked happy. The whole time he had been in the ward his eyes were so analytical; there was no emotion behind the dark orbs. Choonhee yawned, making Hoseok giggle. 

“Did you see her little face?” Hoseok imitated the tiny baby’s cute yawn with an adorable sound effect. Everyone laughed, feeling more at ease. 

“Let me hold her?” Jimin made a grabbing motion with his hands, the many rings he wore sparkled under the clinic’s cold fluorescent lights. 

Taking extra care to not startle the sleepy infant, Taehyung placed his arms atop Jimin’s and slowly slid his away until the bundle was nestled in Jimin’s strong arms. 

“She is so pretty. She’ll be a handful,” Jimin gazed softly up at Myunghee, who was flustered because these Korean Idols were complimenting her child. She couldn’t recall a chapter on dealing with Idols in her ‘What to Expect When Expecting’ book.

“You know BTS?” Seokjin inquired from the woman who had gone quiet. She almost looked in pain at the scene. Unable to speak, she nodded slowly, staring at his handsome face. 

“I am handsome, you know?” He asked the woman with a sexy pout. Her cheeks turned red. Yoongi smacked the eldest in the face with a spare pillow, “Oh shut up, your lips look like they’ve been stung by a bee.”

Sun-ki snickered from the other side of his bed while slowly drinking his cup of tea. He wondered when his captain would approve his discharge from the hospital; the military was super cautious when it came to the health of their soldiers. 

“See even the officer thinks your jokes are lame,” the pale rapper said as he left the ward, also claiming he would return shortly. You had a sneaking suspicion it was because he had spotted the coffee machine in the reception on his way into the clinic. 

The atmosphere became more and more comfortable. Jimin and Taehyung had curled up on either side of you, sandwiching you between their chests. Their scents mixing together beautifully, Jimin’s sweet strong notes blended effortlessly with Taehyung’s subtle soft heart ones. 

You could also smell the others on their skin; Taehyung had Namjoon’s deep woodsy base rounding off the mix perfectly lavender and cedar. If they could bottle it you knew it would sell millions. 

Jimin’s aroma had a little more flare; his fresh citrus was complimented by a clean fresh water that was oh so Yoongi and a subtle hint of cracked pepper you associated with Hoseok.

You always recognized their scents and would appreciate them when you could. Jungkook returned, his priority at the bowl of noodles reserved for him. You were so happy in the warm embrace that was Jimin and Taehyung. Their heart beats resonating through their broad chests, imprinting each palpitation onto your skin.

~

Namjoon watched as the boys grew tired. They would finally be able to sleep in the comfort of their own beds tonight and he knew they all should. The leader suggested the group retire for the evening and felt his resolve soften when Jimin and Taehyung whined nuzzling closer to you. 

From where he stood at the end of the bed he could see the two pressing gentle kisses to your neck. “Alright come on guys. We need to get some sleep in our own beds and I am sure Y/n needs some rest of her own,” Namjoon gave each member a pointed look. You giggled at the collective groans that filled the room. Taehyung and Jimin reluctantly unwrapped themselves from you, getting up to follow the others out the door.

After several goodbyes and promises to see you soon, the group left to head back home. You let out a sigh, finally some time alone.


	39. 25/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay I fixed it this was yesterdays chapter and I am posting a few texts with the boys and reader as my editor has a couple of drinks and I want her to have a bit of a break.

Now that you were alone, you felt like it was just a little bit too quiet, too cold, too dark. Moving the blanket back, you grabbed a hold of your leg, lifting it so your feet could dangle off the edge of the bed towards the floor. 

You still wore a patient gown so you were truly thankful for Yoongi’s care bag. Even if you were soon to be a walking free advertisement for the rapper and his brand.

Lifting the gown slightly to examine the wound, you removed the dressing and opened up your bedside table. Taking some new gause, cleaning solution and your non steroidal ointment, you placed them on the bedside table beside the picture frame of Yoongi and Min Holly laying together. 

Doctor Chang had agreed to you changing and caring for your own dressings and wounds. You had suggested it since he already had a whole clinic full of patients. Even though the Fog and the ban had been lifted the Hospital was still over run, as was the clinic. All precautions to control the virus were still in place; which meant there were no emergency flights in or out of Korea

You were in the middle of cleaning the wound when there was a cough from the doorway. You almost jumped out of your skin, dropping the ointment to the ground. Namjoon stood there sheepish, he quickly made his way over and as he picked up the tube he came face to face with your wound. 

It wasn’t pretty, a hole the size of a small round door handle sewn back together sat in the middle of your thigh. You could tell the uneven and missing chunks would leave a hideous disfigurement on your body. 

Placing the cream back on the bedside table, Namjoon noticed you subtly pulling your gown over the wound. He wanted to tell you that you didn’t need to hide or be ashamed of it. He didn’t think any less of you for it, if anything he admired you more.

“What do you need?”

“I wanted to talk to you in private and apologize,” he hummed, “I am sorry for leading the boys in lying to you. I understand immensely where I went wrong. I hope you will allow me to redeem myself with actions over time.” He paused steadily gazing into your eyes pleading for you to forgive him. He broke eye contact, shaking his head, “My other point involves the band. We are all under a contract– it is different from our first contract– we have so much more freedom in this one and we get better shares of the profits.”

Namjoon paused again, dreading what he was about to say but he knew he needed to do it, for the boys. He raised his head to look you in the eye once more, “but the one thing the company won’t compromise on is relationships. I hope you understand when I ask you to slowly wean the boys away. They are getting too attached and I cannot allow you to lure them into falsehoods.”

A tense silence built between you two as you reeled from the absurd accusations Namjoon was making. You clenched your hands at the sight of his fan service smile. 

“We have to do what's best. We appreciate your affection and are happy to be your friends but it can’t progress past that,” Namjoon finished.

You felt the fake sincerity come off him and found your voice, “Okay first of all Kim Namjoon.” Namjoon shivered at the dark tone of your voice. “You don’t own their human rights just as you don’t own mine. I am not one to accept things quietly and until they say the words to me themselves, on their own free will, your words mean nothing.”

Namjoon’s jaw dropped, the finality in those words gave him hope that maybe you would be the one who would fight for them.

Out of all the tried and failed attempts at love that left both parties heartbroken, you didn’t budge. Not when they told you they used you. Not when he told you to back off.

~

“Namjoon, what took you so long?” Seokjin asked the leader as he slid into the back of the Starex van.

“I was just asking Doctor Chang to send Jungkook’s report to the company.”

“You seem awfully happy for a simple chat with Jungkook’s doctor,” Yoongi eyed him, he was used to people lying to him and knew Namjoon’s cues. The leaders' eyes flickered away from Yoongi’s and they both silently agreed they everyone was too exhausted to discuss the issue. 

Taehyung and Hoseok fell asleep by the time they got back to their dorm. The few left awake knew they wouldn’t wake easily. Jungkook tried to scoop up Taehyung, to carry him inside, but the farmer's son pushed his hands away.

Seokjin and Jungkook locked eyes, throwing their fists out in rock, paper, scissors. Seokjin groaned in defeat at the sight of Jungkook’s hand covering his own while Jungkook whispered ‘yes’ in excitement, moving to take Hoseok who was too deep in sleep to resist.

Seokjin watched Jungkook effortlessly lift Hoseok into his arms. He sighed moving towards the other sleeping member, knowing it was going to be more of a struggle. He ignored the broken ‘Hajima’ that struggled to escape Taehyung’s throat as he wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Come on Taehyung, let Hyung take you to bed,” coaxed Seokjin, brushing his fingers through the younger one’s soft hair. Taehyung let out a whine but didn’t resist when Seokjin arranged his body into a more compact form. Placing one arm around the sleepy teddy bear’s shoulders and the other arm underneath his thighs, Seokjin lifted Taehyung, holding him close to his chest. He made his way over to the others, focusing solely on not dropping the exhausted member he carried.

Everyone gathered in the elevator; Hoseok, like a princess, was cradled delicately in Jungkook’s arms. The members watched Hoseok lovingly; it was a strange sight seeing him relaxed like this. He was the one always consoling and protecting the group, never letting the others worry about him.

Jimin snorted, leaning into Namjoon’s shoulder at the sight of Taehyung in Seokjin’s hold. Like a child, Taehyung’s arms loosely came together around Seokjin’s shoulders, legs limply dangling on their own, while Seokjin supported him with hands under his thighs. The others thought the whole image was adorable, especially Taehyung’s face squished against Seokjin’s shoulder.

~

Seokjin thought he would be home free as he lowered Taehyung onto his bed. What he should have expected, but didn’t, was for the younger man to lock his arms together behind his neck. He knew Taehyung was a cuddler so if he were to struggle he would only be encouraging a stronger, more intense grip.

Accepting that this was his fate, he kicked off his shoes and tried to wiggle out from his jacket before succumbing to the cuddle session. Namjoon smiled from across the room, taking pity on his hyung and climbing into the bed behind Taehyung in an effort to calm his roommate's firm grasp.

Seokjin mouthed a small ‘thank you’. Not wishing to respond with words, Namjoon leaned over the sleeping body between them. The soft sound of Taehyung’s breath filling the room as their lips pressed together.

~

Yoongi and Jungkook quietly ate Ramyeon over the kitchen counter after everyone else had gone to bed. The oldest of the two retreated to his studio deciding he was going to send you a voice recording to say sorry for everything. He apologized quickly and desperately for the things he said, for being a coward, for not apologizing sooner, and for so much more that he needed to express. He hoped that it would be enough for now.


	40. 26/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about being late these couple of days and mixing up the last two chapters I had posted 39 and didn't post 38 but it is resolved so please read them again if you have not already. I am still writing and I am still here my sister went to the hospital and I have been looking after her children so it's been a little difficult. This chapter is texts between Y/N and the boys.


	41. 27/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is all about the stigma of receiving therapy and being classed as disabled temporary or otherwise. It is not a bad thing to talk about how you think and feel. Nor is it a bad thing to use services like psychiatrists to help you process what is going on in your life.

“Uhh– I am not good at this, so bare with me. First and foremost I am sorry. We had good intentions but that isn’t an excuse for how much we hurt you. We only thought about your safety and not about your feelings. Endangering yourself for us was the last thing we wanted– so we tried to stop you without thinking things through. Everything we said was rude and frankly all absurd lies. It wasn’t fair to you and it’s a brash decision we all regret making. I hope you can forgive and trust us again so we can be close like we were before that mistake.”

The voice sighed and you could hear the squeak of his studio chair as he leaned back. You could imagine his hands rubbing his face in frustration. “I– uhh– I guess that’s all I had to say. I hope you are recovering well,” the rapper paused once more with a sigh, “I miss you. That’s uhh it– bye.”

Waking up to the forlorn words from the quiet idol wasn’t a bad thing at all. You appreciated his words but it left you with a severe feeling of whiplash. The contrast between the band leader and the rest of the boys was strong. 

The other messages you had received were cute. Jimin had sent you pictures of the boys returning home after their visit. Seeing strong and assertive Hoseok in Jungkook’s arms was as amusing as it was adorable. How the roles reversed. 

Hoseok, the one who kissed you in the basement, taking the lead with his hands in your hair, looked peaceful in Jungkook’s arms.  He was a happy carefree person but always held that burden of being happy and caring for the others . In that moment he looked completely relaxed as he let someone tend to him, it was different. 

Jungkook, the one most ready to accept any role or order he is given, who had recently grown into his own self worth, who began prioritising his wants and needs, looked more commanding carrying his hyung with ease in his arms. His boyish charm evolved to a gentlemanly allure.

It was different seeing them this way, but good. 

~

Doctor Chang walked in that morning with a young man in jeans and a navy button up with a logo on the breast pocket. “Good evening Miss Y/n, I am  Commissioned Officer Han. I am here to conduct your and Cadet Sun-ki’s Physical therapy.”

“Okay I understand you being here for Cadet Sun-ki but shouldn’t I be put on a waiting list for a public therapist, I can’t afford this,” you looked between the men in confusion. The officer looked at you with a knowing smile and Sun-ki grinned as he began going through the slow exercises Han gave him.

With gentle hands the PT began manually and slowly moved your leg to replicate natural movements, whilst checking your strength, mobility and pain levels. “I heard you did some pretty heroic things during the lockdown.”

_ Bang! _

The gun shot rang through your head again and again. You had almost forgotten the whole thing and as the guilt set in how could you forget? You were a monster. Your eyes fell to your trembling hands; the blood wasn’t there, you knew you were in the hospital, so why could you clearly see it? Why could you feel the warm liquid between your fingers? Why was that rusty metal smell lingering in the air? 

Heart racing as you tried desperately to force air down your lungs, hands coming to your shoulder, a voice sounding muffled as if it was underwater.

Someone was calling your name, blinking and looking up at him, you wondered if he knew what you had done. With all your strength you pulled yourself from the falsehoods your mind created. The complexity of your own guilt and  _ distorted view of the past  _ playing tricks on you.

~

A week, it had been a week of physical and mental therapy and you held in your thoughts and emotions as long as you could. The idea of coming clean on what happened was so strong but you couldn’t bring yourself to expose your deepest secret to a stranger. 

It seemed the military was taking responsibility for your recovery, sparing no expense and sending you to the best of the best doctors in Korea. 

So good that they were slowly working you down, getting closer and closer to the secrets locked away. 

“Why are you scared to open up?” The doctor asked in English, you couldn’t even use your ‘I don’t understand’ excuse. 

“There is nothing to open up about.” You shrugged with a smile

“You are hiding something behind jokes and smiles but I am a trained professional. Is it fear of being seen as weak for expressing how you feel or is it the prejudice you hold against seeking help?” She asked sincerely, curious.

Diverting your eyes from her scrutinising gaze, your thumb rubbing against some raised skin on your cuticle. You shrugged pretending to be unperturbed by the woman’s scarily correct assumptions. 

“I think our time is unfortunately up. As always, it has been a pleasure. Truly I feel we are really getting somewhere,” you say lifting yourself off the plush sofa leaning heavily on the arm, collecting your crutches. 

“You are wearing a mask and will never feel like you are living a fulfilling life if you keep lying to yourself,” she stood up to get the door, as you pulled the mask from your pocket. 

“We are all wearing masks, Doctor Lee. We are all responsible for our health as well as the people around us.” You smiled until the black fabric covered the lower half of your face. 

“I told you to call me Sejin. I will see you tomorrow after your physical therapy.” You bowed and turned away from the woman. Your smile falling completely as you left, propping yourself up with the crutches every step.

Your brother was sitting outside, leaning against his new car. It was a newer model yet still second hand and all the doors on this vehicle were lockable. He was on the phone when he spotted you exiting the building. Catching the very end of his conversation where he said a distinct “Love you” made your eyebrows raise in curiosity.

“Who was that?”

“Oh uh mum, she was checking to see you are okay and when you would be able to come home.”

“She has been calling a lot lately. She knows I can’t return home until the borders are open for commercial flights. Maybe I should call her?”

“No!” He said grabbing your phone. “You know how she is; she will keep you on the phone for hours and I was thinking we should head home and order some food.”

“Okay that sounds like a better option,” you say, leaning back in the comfortable seats and massaging your temples.

“Was it that bad?”

“It was fine, she prys too much.”

“Funny that– I thought it was her job.”


	42. 28/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a continuation of the stigma surrounding therapy and disabilities temporary or otherwise. I am posting to AO3 before tumblr so you don't miss out again

You return home and notice your brother's house is oddly clean. An odd looking table arrangement that you wouldn’t expect your brother setting up for you; little place mats and is that a candle?

“What’s all this?” You chuckled crutching through the apartment, dropping your coat on the back of the couch. You watched your brother put your shoes away neatly and place your coat and bag by the door. “Sorry, I should have done that myself but this is unlike you, being clean?”

“What should we eat?” You asked and he smiled offering suggestions and to pay for it from where he stood out of sight in the bathroom, “Okay seriously what is going on you're being too weird.”

“Nothing I swear, I am just being an adult,” he said walking out and you laughed. 

“Being an adult! You are wearing a collared shirt and you have a comb over,” you climbed out of the arm chair and used the furniture to hobble closer, “What is that? Why do you smell like that? Is that like the world's worst aftershave?”

“Is it bad?” He frowned, “What do I do, how do I get it off?”

“You don’t, you are stuck like that,” laughing at his despair. 

He started erratically googling how to remove cologne from one's skin. “I can’t take a shower she will be here soon.”

“Aha! So that’s what it is, you invited a girl over, who is it?”

“Areum, I knew it was too much.”

“Oh my god you like her? Gross! You’re my brother, you can’t like girls that’s weird. You're incapable of feeling love.”

“Haha very funny,” he scoffed looking like he was ready to pull his hair out, “Help me.”

“I am messing with you. The cologne smells nice and clean, much better than your sweaty dance smell.” You paused, the word dance felt foreign. You hadn’t thought of dancing since the rescue mission and even your brother didn’t say much about his job, which was odd. 

Why was that? Was it because of your injury? Why were they walking on eggshells around you? This was so strange but you weren’t worried. In a few weeks you will be back to normal, you just knew it. It didn't seem like a big deal. 

~

Dinner was spent watching your brother and best friend acting super shy whilst still trying to flirt. It was like those cringey preteen movies. They were being so awkward you were getting second hand embarrassment from just being at the same table. Not to mention the whole time they were giving each other bedroom eyes which wasn’t helping the situation.

Eventually you bid the two farewell and retired to the guest bedroom while your brother drove Areum home. You flicked through some rather amusing texts.

Taehyung messaged to say he would take you to PT tomorrow. It was becoming custom for the boys to text you about such matters, letting you know who was going to accompany you to your appointments. Yesterday was Yoongi and the day before that was Hoseok. Most of the time it was Jimin and Taehyung who accompanied you. 

Jungkook went along with you once but he was so energetic you had overworked yourself trying to keep up with his encouragement. The physical therapist told him he was a bit too much for the lesson. Sadly, he took it the wrong way and hasn’t shown up at a session again. He did however meet you afterwards a few times to take you to your psychiatrist.

~

The boys’ schedule was still light with their tour on hold. Thomas drove you to his work every morning and Taehyung would pick you up. The two of you would head to the private clinic where you were rehabilitating. First was usually physical therapy where you would stretch your muscles in your leg, go for slow walks around the room and step up a small three step staircase. You relied heavily on the hand rails to support yourself as you went.

“You have improved so much.” 

The doctor was not joking. You remember your first ever session, you chose Jimin to accompany you and the soft boy praised every step you took. He held your waist the entire time and did not comment on the fact your leg was giving out every step. He would nuzzle your exposed neck and whisper against it.

Doctor Han was a little weirded out by the physical contact between the two of you but never mentioned anything. 

Your next memorable session was three days later when Hoseok said that dancing was good rehabilitation. He pulled you to his chest, taking most of your weight, and swayed you back and forth. He sang along to the song and made cute noises the whole time. When the song came to an end he gave you a challenge.

He asked you to spin under his arm. You looked nervous and he smiled, promising to catch you before you would fall. You spun with a smile on your face and landed with a small thump against his chest, once more your leg giving out.

“Okay but I am still so shaky,” you reminded the doctor. Taehyung, who had been walking with you every step of the way, started singing.

_ If you can’t fly, then run _ _   
_ _ Today we will survive _ _   
_ _ If you can’t run, then walk _ _   
_ _ Today we will survive _ _   
_ _ If you can’t walk, then crawl _ _   
_ __ Even if you have to crawl, gear up

“He is right– you have to crawl, to walk, to run,” Doctor Han smiled, handing you a water bottle, “Remember to stretch your leg and keep it warm. The cold will make the muscles stiff.”

Exiting the clinic, Taehyung smiled as you moved down the hall in a pendulous motion. The crutches were very helpful but they made people stare. The boys tried to be subtle but they wore their ‘celebrity in disguise’ disguise too well.

~

Piercing eyes watched the pair leave the building, scribbling down in a small diary with erratic hands. A sadistic smile curling up the corner of the masked stranger’s mouth. They collected their coffee and headed out the door, staring into the distance where the van had driven you and Taehyung off.


	43. 29/04/2020

“What about at home? How are things these last few days?” Doctor Sejin asked. You inhaled sharply leaning back on the couch, one arm stretched out over the back to grip the smooth leather in your hands. She crossed one leg over the other and propped her elbow on the arm of her chair, her delicate hand finding a comfortable place under her chin.

“Uh mum and dad are great. I mean, I guess they worry about me?” Your eyebrows pulled together in mock deep thought. Her face fell again, eyebrows low and mouth resting in a flat line.

“I meant your brother's home, do you get enough support?” You tried to appear more sincere as you looked to the left, lost in thought.

“Yeah it’s great. Thomas has a major crush on Areum,” you say with a small smirk on your face. You remembered how the two were so awkward at dinner and making eyes at one another. You caught yourself smiling and sighed looking back at the doctor.

“Ah your friend Areum, how do you feel about them being together?” She leaned forward, calming her face and raising her eyebrows encouragingly.

“It’s really fine, I assure you,” you chuckled, lifting your legs onto the chair, the left lifting with ease and the right quivering. A frown dropped into place.

“And how are things going with Doctor Han?” She really didn’t let your moments of weakness slip past.

“Uh...Really good. I am improving everyday. Yeah really good,” You rubbed your throat and looked around at the bookshelf, trying to ignore the scratching of her pen across the page. You hated that she thought she was finding these flaws about you, you were fine.

“You don’t sound convinced,” her eyes shot up catching yours on her pen. 

“You know how it is– you can’t see the results but others can and I accept that.”

“Do you?” her eyes scanned yours. Unblinking, you stilled your body completely, unwilling to flinch or waver from her gaze. 

“Yeah, I get it.” You smiled, gazing fondly at her hair which she wore down today. It was much nicer looking, less intimidating than her usual bun. “Tell me, did you always have highlights in your hair?”

“I washed it last night and you are deflecting,” she sighed, hands falling against the small notebook in her lap.

“I am not deflecting. I am complimenting you,” you laughed bitterly, running your hand through your hair and letting your head fall back on the arm of the couch. “Have you ever had a debilitating injury, _Doctor Lee_. I don’t think you have. So how do I know you are qualified to tell me how to feel.”

“You're being defensive now,” she informed you politely.

“Of course I am. If you were in my situation you would be too,” your words coming out as a warning. You were on edge, voice sharp.

“And what situation might that be?” She had her pen ready and you felt your chest heat in anger, hot tears threatening to fall.

“I was out there fighting for my life, fighting for other people's lives. I-I killed a man!” She covered her arms in her lap, a sign of her slight discomfort and fear towards you. “Are you scared of me  _ Doctor Lee _ ?”

“As a psychiatrist for the military I have heard worse I assure you.” You could see the vigilant way she watched you as she wrote things down, “I am glad you have opened up on the issue regarding the death of Mister Choi.”

The chill that passed through you was severely jarring. The warm feeling in your hands told you if looked down you would see red. You tried to hold your breath but the smell of rust hit you. The idea that he had a name, that he meant something to someone. 

“What are you thinking? Are you okay? Please breathe,” Doctor Sejin’s hand was dangerously close to the button on her wrist.

“Help me,” You whispered, throwing yourself onto the floor, head over a plastic waste paper basket and vomiting. 

“It’s everywhere! I can smell it. I can hear it, feel it. It haunts my dreams. He is choking on the blood and no matter how I hold the wound it seeps through my fingers and he dies.”

You were distraught, your broken sobs and gasps filled the room. You heard her step over to the side and turn on the coffee grinder. A hesitant hand flattened on your back as she held a cup of ground coffee beans to your nose and you felt yourself slowly calm until suddenly you were back on the floor of her office. 

“I think that might conclude our session today, but I want you to listen to me,” she led you back to the couch, “Mister Choi killed a total of sixteen people during the lockdown and if you hadn’t stopped him that number could have been more, like your friend Mister Kim.”

The memories of how close Seokjin had been to the barrel of the gun jumped to the front of your mind. You held the cup of ground coffee and inhaled deeply, the scent masking everything.

“The military and the government already know what happened and you are not going to be punished for it. We are instead working hard to return your life to as normal as possible. This incident happened and may leave you with trauma but we are taking responsibility for it.”

“That’s awfully kind for a foreigner.” Your voice was laced with a mute condescending tone, too tired to actually act rude.

“They want to thank you for your services. You did so much for people, taking supplies to those in need and even taking over for the paramedics. They have made a special medal they wish to present to you.”

“I only helped the paramedics one day, that hardly warrants a medal.”

She dismissed you, “Just focus on your health, that's the most important thing right now. I just wanted you to know that no one is blaming you for anything that happened out there. We all understand.”

“What if I blame myself?” Voice so tiny you had no idea if she heard you clearly, “I am not some kind of war hero.”

“I think that concludes our session today. I have something I wish for you to work on at home.” She closed her book and collected your crutches from next to the door, “I want you to tell you friend, Mister Kim, how you feel. He was there, he experienced it too. You will find you share more in common than you think. Can you do that for me?”

“I will try.”

Stepping out of the office you saw Jungkook’s smiling face and for the first time since you started coming here you genuinely meant it. You would try to open up.


	44. 30/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was the best way I could get this scene to happen, I tried so hard to write it but it wasn’t working, having the two in the same room wasn’t giving the right feel or freedom of speech that text brings. The next chapter is a really good one so far I am excited for what you guys think.


	45. 02/04/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay I had ruined my wrists they are both braced at the moment and I can't type of play piano so I am sad.  
> I am using talk to text so please bear with me while I recover and when I do it will be back to regular everyday broadcasts haha.
> 
> This chapter comes with a free Korean lesson, enjoy.

You wanted to contact Doctor Chang. The tears had stopped, now knowing what you needed and wanted to do. Your talk with Seokjin helped you to understand so much. No, he had not fixed all your issues nor had he cured your crippling guilt, but he gave you a purpose. He gave you hope that you could bring good into the world, to repent your actions. 

Even though Seokjin was blunt in his delivery it was effective in snapping you out of the pity party that raged inside your head. Reading back through the messages gave you a light laugh, you could practically hear him shouting the words a mile a minute. 

You pressed the little banana shaped button in the corner before you could second guess yourself. It took a while but you heard his voice.

“Yeoboseyo?” His voice groggy like he had answered while still asleep. Even then, the tone and depth of his sleepy voice was magical.

“Yeoboseyo,” you answered, feeling like a teenager with how nervous you felt talking to him.

“Yah, do you know what time it is?” Seokjin scolded you without thought.

“I wanted to thank you?”

“Mwoya! You couldn’t thank me in the morning?” 

“Oh– I– I’m sorry,” you hung up, embarrassed for overstepping his boundaries. Immediately, the phone rang in your hand. It was Seokjin. After letting it ring out, a notification let you know he sent you a voice message.

“Yah! Answer the phone. You woke me so let me know what you want. I woke up for you. Answer the phone!” 

Your heart stilled at his threatening tone, on the surface it seemed like he was annoyed but it didn’t fill his words. His voice almost sounded worried, wondering why you called so late in the evening. There wasn’t a hint of real anger at the fact you had woken him up.

Your heart now was racing as you answered his call, the nervous feeling intensified and you were unable to talk when you heard him on the other side.

“Yeoboseyo? Yah, are you there?”

“Yes, I am here,” you whispered to not wake your brother in the room across the hall

“Why are you so quiet now?”

The words fell from your mouth before you could stop them, “Bogoshipda.”

“You miss my handsome face?” his voice held a subtle ounce of confidence that cleared away some of the sleepy tone.

“Seokjin-Oppa.” He whined at the honorific. He said he didn’t like it but you could hear his bashfulness. “Saranghamnida.”

Seokjin paused, silence from his side of the call. “Wait. What did you say?” He whispered in disbelief.

“What?”

“Say it again.” This wasn’t a question, it was a demand. When the silence continued for too long he added a soft, “Please.”

His plea weighed heavy in your chest, the ache growing with a new powerful energy. Every beat of your heart sounded thunderous in your ears. For a moment you worried your chest would burst open.

“I have to go,” you rushed out. 

You managed to catch a disappointed sigh from Seokjin before promptly hanging up and burying your face into your pillow.

~

Namjoon was trying to slow down the amount of times the boys visited the private hospital in the middle of Seoul. It was too risky and every time they stepped out onto the streets the stakes grew higher and higher.

Jungkook had just disclosed he and Y/n shared snacks in the park earlier that day and Namjoon was about to rip out his hair.

“What did I say?” annoyed at his fellow band members for blatantly disregarding his orders. He was their leader and all he felt from them was disrespect.

~

Your brother drove you to the Bighit building as he did every morning. He parked his car and the two of you walked inside. Today you decided to use a walking stick instead of crutches. You had decorated it with cute little stickers and a bell, even gluing on a little figurine as an ornamental handle. 

You were happy with the final product. Yes, it made walking a little harder but you were trying your best to improve. You looked down at your phone at the text Hoseok sent earlier that day, “I will be in the dance studio all morning, text me when you get here and I will be straight down.”

Figuring you could use the short walk to the elevator, you headed up to the studio on your own. Music played through the door as you quietly entered the studio. Hoseok was dancing in the middle of the room, his movements were mesmerizing.

You started to sway to the music as it filled your body. It soon turned into more and more, until you put all your weight on your dominant leg, lifting the cane as you prepared to spin but you collapsed onto the ground hitting your forehead on the floor.

“Oh my god! Are you okay?” Hoseok asked, rushing over to you.

“Yeah I am fine,” The timber of the studio was pale, but the floor board all seemed to blend into one blur of color as your eyes brimmed with unshed tears and you didn’t know if you had the strength to stand just yet “I am fine. I just—”

Tears overflowed onto the floor below you, the realization that you might never be able to dance again hit you and hard. You knew deep down that this was always the case but kept denying it, in hopes that the doctor was wrong.

“Hey, are you crying? Is everything okay?” Hoseok’s voice sounded so reassuring, “I am here, okay. Look at me. Are you hurt?”

“I can’t do it,” The tears continued streaming down your face and suddenly you were seeing red like you were wearing those cheap 3D glasses. You looked at your hands confused by the colour change before looking up at Hoseok and his sad eyebrows shot up under his fringe.

“You’re bleeding,” He stated flustered, looking for something to help you. Droplets of blood and tears mixing on the floor.

“Hyung, weren’t you hanging out with Y/n today?” 

Jimin and Jungkook stepped in and saw you sitting, sobbing and bleeding. Jimin raced over pulling out a clean towel from his bag and pressing it to your brow. “What happened? Jungkook, find a first aid kit.”

“I was just trying to dance,” still sniffling when another cry took over, “but I fell”

“Hey hey, shush, we are here. Everything is ok,” Jimin said and the two dancers wrapped you up in their arms while you continued sobbing.

“Hyung, here is the first aid kit. Is y/n okay?” Jungkook exclaimed. He spotted the group on the floor and scrambled over, immediately pulling you into his lap and pressing his face between your shoulder blades. Hoseok opened the first aid kit and began handing items to Jimin, who started cleaning the wound and your eye.

“You look a little scary,” Hoseok whispered and surprisingly his expression made a small giggle break out between your sobs. Hoseok and Jungkook joined in, laughing gently with you. Jimin finished cleaning the wound and placed a small dressing just above your eyebrow.

“Don’t listen to them love, you are still the most beautiful person in the room,” Jimin used the towel to clean up around your eye and grinned, “That is a little scary, let’s gently wash this out.”

“It’s weird seeing everything in red.”


	46. 05/05/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully things are back to normal. I will post the next chapter tomorrow. It is complete so we are on a roll. :)

After cleaning the small gash on your brow bone the three men escorted you to your physical therapy session. The session was full of laughs and left little to no doubt you were progressing. 

The highlight of the intense training was when Jimin and Jungkook played on the equipment which resulted in Jimin falling from the three step staircase onto his behind. 

They boys walked you to Doctor Lee Sejins office where they bid you farewell. Your brother was picking you up so you could have another dinner with Areum. After a long chat with Doctor Lee you both actually felt pleased by the progress you had made.

Thomas greeted you promptly after, driving you back to the Bighit building, where the two of you stepped out. You were thoroughly confused why you had returned here as Thomas combed his hair down with his fingers. 

“I am just picking up Areum. She is coming over for dinner, remember?” He quickly disappeared into the building in search of his beautiful woman.

Looking around you noticed the car was parked in a 30 minute visitor’s spot, you shrugged slowly following Thomas into the building. It couldn’t hurt to work your leg some more since you didn’t expect to stay long. Walking around, you headed downstairs to the basement to see what became of your little home.

You assumed it would have been cleaned out and returned to it’s messy storage space. However the sign on the door wasn’t the paper drawing the boys had made. This was a black plaque with white writing.

Y/n’s Secret Base

You noticed a lock on the door as you tried to twist the handle. Before you could push the door open, the door pulled back throwing you off balance. Your cane clattered to the floor as you fell forward, legs giving out. Warm arms wrapped around you, bracing you against their chest, before you hit the ground.

You knew instantly who saved you from the familiar ocean scent.

“Are you okay?” His deep raspy voice caught your attention. Min Yoongi made sure you were upright and standing securely on your own before bending down to get your cane. “I believe this is your’s.”

Looking up at you from the floor, Yoongi saw up close how your leg shook. He sighed standing, leveling his eyes with yours, “Come sit down.”

“I am fine Yoongi,” you muttered, unable to look him in the eye.

“I want to talk to you just for a few minutes, so please humour me.” The gentle smile he gave you was not something you often saw on Yoongi’s face. 

“What would you like to talk about?” 

“Well, it’s about your injury.” 

“Okay?” You leaned back, hand upturning in a ‘go ahead’ gesture, “I am listening.”

“Look, I know what it’s like, believe me. I was injured when I was a delivery guy, busted my shoulder. I used to dance– was pretty good at it too– but not anymore because I never went to see help and I didn’t let it rest.”

He grabbed the hem of his oversized shirt and pulled it over his head, showing off his torso. His skin was smooth and had an almost golden yellow tone to his pale skin. It was like the colour of light passing through a crystal of brown sugar. 

He grabbed your chin tilting your head from his chest to his eyes, “My point is this–” 

You raised your head and looked into his eyes. From his eyes alone you could tell how serious he was about this and for a moment you felt yourself appreciative of this moment. Yoongi, a man that doesn’t show his emotions, was showing you his vulnerabilities. You saw the hesitation and nervousness grow in his dark brown irises. 

His head dropped as he squeezed his eyes shut. He never showed this side of him to anyone. Heck, the boys rarely saw him this way. But he needed to get through to [y/n]. He didn’t want someone he loves to go through what he did. With that growing resolve he raised his head to meet your eyes. He watched your gaze on his shoulder, the large scar a reluctant gift of the finest silver embedded into his skin.

Gathering the last bit of his courage, Yoongi told you the story behind the scar. His anxiety ate away at his decision to tell you about such an unpleasant fragment of his life. 

He waited for your expression to change. He knew that this would change forever how you view him. But when he looked at you, your eyes weren’t ones of pity nor disgust, they held a strange soft expression. Your hand gently cupped his shoulder as he spoke to you about his past in hushed tones. 

Pausing at the abrupt contact, Yoongi caught your eyes looking over his wound in wonder, finger tips tracing the curves and grooves of the scar. 

“It is a hideous reminder of what I should have done differently.”

“I think it’s beautiful,” you whispered, leaning in and pressing your lips against it. 

Yoongi grabbed your chin again and turned your head to meet his eyes. The two of you were like magnets, the weight of sexual tension increasing. A thick blanket seemed to trap the heat between you. 

Licking his lips, Yoongi pulled you forward slowly, your chin still between his thumb and crooked finger. You felt his gentle breaths on your cheeks as the distance between you grew shorter. 

A flicker of doubt danced across your eyes. Yoongi noticed, running the pad of his thumb slowly against your bottom lip. Your name came out as a whisper from his mouth as he asked for permission. 

There was no way you could resist it. Your heart never could rid the boys completely. You tried to pull them away but they stubbornly grew like beautiful wild flowers, their roots intertwining and restricting your heart until you had no choice but to acknowledge just how important they were.

He was waiting, watching your reaction as he slowly pressed his lips against yours. They were warm and soft. He paused for a moment and pulled back, judging the emotions in your eyes. Your gaze held no doubt and with your consent he leaned in once more, tilting his head ready for a deeper kiss. 

Brushing your lips with his, you closed the distance between your bodies. You both locked together in a slow make out session, placing your hands against his chest. You could feel nothing but the softness of his lips and the strong rhythm of his heart.


	47. 06/05/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think I may have to post every second day as to not stress my editor she is lovely bean but I don't want her falling asleep at 2am every night

Yoongi’s hands grew more confident, rising up into your hair, his finger kneading into the locks. Your phone rang loudly breaking the two of you from your moment. It was Thomas.

“Uh… I should answer this,” You breathed in a mixed sigh. You were grateful for the distraction because you were getting lost in your emotions and would definitely say something to scare him away. You were fighting a losing battle and soon you wouldn’t be able to deny it any longer. “Thomas will be wanting to leave, we are having dinner with Areum tonight.”

Yoongi watched you lean back on the arm of the couch which was completely different from the stained and broken one you were used to. It seems over the past week the boys decorated the space. You scanned the room, confirming your suspicion, as you got up to head for the lobby.

Yoongi stood up, following you as he grabbed his coat from the small table by the door. He handed you the decorated cane and accompanied you to the elevator. Once inside you noticed one of the buttons was disabled and labeled out of order. You looked into the shiny metal walls of the elevator and casually fixed your hair.

“Yes I am almost there. What’s for dinn-” The phone was snatched from your hands, Yoongi hung up on your brother and slid the device into the back pocket of your jeans. 

You stared at him with wide eyes as he smiled, tucking some of your hair behind your ear. He turned back to the elevator doors having finished his playful torture, an obvious smug smile pressed into the curves of his lips.

Grabbing his dark jacket in your fists, you turned him and pressed him against the wall of the elevator. You leaned in so your eyes were leveled with his own. Biting back a smile, you soften your gaze and entice him with a quick brush of your lips.

His lips were silk, so smooth and soft. Unmoving, he watched you. The flames in his eyes grew and his hand twitched forward to grab your waist but you snatched the offending limb mid air, pressing it to the cold metal wall.

He let out a breathy moan, his chin tilted forward desperate for the touch of your warm mouth against his. Leaning in completely with the intent to kiss him, you tilted your head slightly so nothing could block the two of you in your pursuit for the sweetest of pleasures. 

However, just as his eyes fluttered shut, you felt the elevator settle. You pulled back, releasing his hands which ghosted forward in a final attempt to hold you. Grinning, you straightened your jacket. 

The elevator pinged open as you turned away from him. Yoongi’s hand gripped your wrist, preventing your escape. He pressed the closed door button and spun you against the wall. The sudden movement paired with your weakened leg caused you to fall slightly and he pressed his chest against yours to hold you. 

He brought his mouth to the shell of your ear, “You think I would just sit back and let you play me like that. I am a patient man but if the maknaes acted like this I would teach them a lesson.”

His finger was still firmly pressed on the closed door button preventing it from opening. Leaning back to your lips, he devoured your mouth with his, bringing his free hand to the nape of your neck to angle your head.

The kiss had you breathless, literally. The pale rapper held so much power in not only his tongue but in his lungs. You felt yourself becoming light headed and he pulled away with a grin. Your eyes were blown wide with lust. Your mouth parted as you started panting. Your lips reddened from the intense friction.

“You should go, before you do something you regret.”

“What? Like tell you I love you,” you challenge, pausing momentarily as he licked his lips. His eyes meet yours, searching thoroughly. Fear coursed through your body. Why did you say that? Were you insane? You felt tears prickling in the corner of your eyes.

“Pretend you didn’t hear that.” You pushed him away, his hand releasing from the button. You readjusted your footing with the help of your cane, heading straight into the lobby.

~

Your phone was filled with unread messages from Seokjin, and now Yoongi, that you refused to check. Turning to the two nervously gazing at each other across the table, you remembered Doctor Lee Sejin’s words.

“I am going to be honest here and I want you to bear with me because this is um- a new concept. Not the being honest part, I always try to be honest. I just don’t exactly express my feelings often if at all,” the words tumbling out of you.

“I will listen and support you anyway I can,” Areum smiled, grabbing your hand, “I like to think you are my best friend.”

“Well I want you to know that I am happy for you two, being close and dating. But I would like to say…that I am a little jealous. You haven’t done anything wrong and you don’t have to change, I just have to be honest. It feels like I am a bit of the third wheel and I would like to have some more time with my friend sometimes.”

“I think that is a really good idea,” Thomas smiled, “perhaps you two can hang out without me sometimes. You two were friends before I came into the picture.”

“I agree, I like to have time away where I can talk with you about girly things,” Areum smiled and squeezed your hand.

“Speaking of us dating though, we wanted to let you know that we will be leaving tomorrow, to Areum’s family home. I need to ask her father if I can date her, he is very old fashioned,” your brother stated, “We were going to wait but tomorrow’s the weekend and her family have plans for the next few weekends. Is that too early? We can reschedule it, if you need me here?”

“No really it is perfectly fine, I am excited for you. Also I get the house to myself? I may throw a party while you are gone,” you laughed.

“Hey I won’t stop you, just hide the valuables. I don’t want things broken, especially if you are inviting Joon. I don’t know how he does it but just this morning he pressed the elevator button for the fourth floor and got it stuck.”

You smiled, remembering the button you had disregarded earlier that afternoon. “We will be leaving tomorrow. Will you be okay alone?”

“Of course, I will probably just watch movies all day. I was told to take a break from the PT sessions and then it’s all back on, starting Monday.”


	48. 08/05/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope every second day is working for everyone. I am so sorry. I feel like I have taken away something from you. I am still trying my best trust me and there is so many fun things happening in the story I am excited for you all to read

Sleeping in, you missed your brother’s departure. He left you some money in an envelope on the table telling you to buy yourself something nice. 

You felt strange being alone. It brought back memories of your time in the fog but something about this was relaxing. No one to see no one to smile for. Just you and your emotions once again. You always appreciated some time alone. 

Socialising with others was a really great feeling but when it was all over, you just needed time to process your thoughts. To wind down from that high you got, it wasn’t good to feel like that all the time. Otherwise it becomes overwhelming, it’s good to experience some sadness in order to truly appreciate the good times. 

So here you were on the couch under a light blanket watching the last of the drama Seokjin recommended. Your phone chimed with a message from Doctor Chang, he finally responded to your long email. 

_ To: y/n _

_ From: Chang  _

_ Subject: re: enquiry _

_ Dear Y/n, _

_ I hope your recovery is going well. Over the last few days after receiving your email I have been in contact with a few institutes and I have received only one response from the Korea Military Academy (KMA).  _

_ They would like to support you with a fully paid internship with my clinic. If you are still interested I have attached some application forms.  _

_ I would be honoured to work with you and teach you everything I know. But I must ask you: what makes you want to become a doctor? _

_ Sincerely, _

_ Doctor N. Chang _

_ ____________________________________________________________________ _

_ Dear Doctor Chang, _

_ Hey disregard this if it’s a dumb idea but would you be interested in perhaps having me join the clinic as a possible intern? I would love to keep learning. Again it’s probably dumb and I won’t be offended if you just say no.  _

_ I don’t really do emails well so um… bye? _

_ Y/N _

_ ____________________________________________________________________ _

Reading his reply made you laugh. There was a striking difference between his eloquent email that read like an important document and your nervous wreck of a message that read a bit more like a drunk text. 

But that wasn’t the point. The KMA had offered you a free education, alongside Dr. Chang’s clinic. 

Turning your attention back to the drama, you watched the leading lady confess her love to the lead male. The beautiful scene played out with flower petals falling around the two with soft romantic music in the background. You could never imagine being the first to say those words, it was too nerve racking. 

Even just experiencing the two actors on screen having their moment made you more anxious about letting your feelings slip out to the boys. Replying to a few random texts and even braving to read Seokjin’s and Yoongi’s, you threw your phone across the room in embarrassment.

Deciding to distract yourself, you played some soft music and gently swayed in the room with the help of your cane. Yoongi’s words of concern echoing in your head. 

Stopping after a song, you walked to your room picking up your dirty clothes and placing them into the washing machine. Your leg quivered gently at the strain. You decided that was enough for your leg today. All you wanted was to shower and then lay back down for an afternoon nap.

You placed your phone atop the counter, letting it fill the room with soft music. Gazing at your reflection in the mirror, you seemed different. There was something soft and gentle in your eyes. 

Undressing slowly, you were happy to see you were recovering from the stress of the quarantine. You let your eyes fall to your right thigh, the limb shaking more and more. The wound was uncovered and healing really well, but the scar would be significant. 

Stepping into the shower you pulled the curtain shut and began letting the hot water ease the muscles under stress. 

Dropping the bottle of body wash, you bent your knees slowly. Grasping the bottle in your hand tightly to prevent further slippage, you pushed up off the ground back on your feet. Thoroughly washed, there was no reason to stay any longer. 

Spinning to turn off the shower, you forgot your dominant leg was so weak. You fell. You fell hard. You laid on the ground feeling really dizzy from the impact. You busted open the small cut on your brow when you hit the ground. 

Reaching up you shut off the hot water and used all your strength to grab your phone off the counter. You blinked back tears, feeling a little nauseous. Pressing a few buttons on your phone, it wasn’t long before you heard a voice come through the speaker. 

“Hello?” The calm and calculated voice of Namjoon woke you from your haze, but you only made a small whimper in response. It was a sorrowful sound. “Are you okay?”

~

Namjoon’s heart skipped a beat. Something was wrong. “Y/n? What’s wrong?” He tried unsuccessfully to keep the concern from his voice. “Talk to me.”

The firmness in his tone must have pulled you further out from whatever unknown state you were in as you groaned, “I fell.”

“Fell? Fell where?”

“Home.” 

“Where is thomas?”

“Areum.” Thomas was at Areum’s so that meant you were home alone without assistance. Namjoon was across the room picking up his coat in an instant.

“Are you home alone?” He tried to gather more information on the situation, but he only heard a clatter. “Y/n? Y/n? Hey talk to me, are you okay?”

There was a faint sound in the background that sounded like a pained groan.

It was times like this that made Namjoon wish he had his license as he took a taxi to the address he had been once before on the day you were discharged from the clinic. Taehyung had insisted they all escort you home and make you feel comfortable. At the time, Namjoon complained to the boys for dragging him along but he couldn’t be more thankful in this moment.

On the way he texted Thomas and asked what the code was for the keypad lock on the front door. He explained to Thomas he was worried something might have happened to you and that he would call if it was anything serious. He just needed to make sure you were okay.

Quick to comply for the sake of his sister, Thomas gave the code.


	49. 10/05/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It has been brought to my attention that there is a slightly obsessive side character. He is not particularly obsessed with anyone in particular just with his work and wishes to make money off of scandals. I promise his character development is really good and I promise he won't get worse than pretending to be a maintenance guy to get some photos.

Clipping his shoulder on the elevator door, Namjoon ran down the hall towards your brother's apartment. He was impatient, something clawing inside of him to see that you were okay. He needed to know you were safe.

Fumbling with the door lock, he was in such a rush he hit the wrong number combination. He calmed himself with a deep breath and pressed the numbers into the keypad slowly. The chime gave him a short elation as he wrenched the door open, almost pulling the whole thing off its hinges.

“Y/n!?” He kicked off his shoes and ran into the living room. You were nowhere to be found. Normally, he would hesitate to enter any rooms without permission but when he knocked and received no response he peeked into the guest bedroom finding it empty. 

His next room of choice was Thomas’, a quick knock with no response and he moved on, walking through the apartment calling for you. He could not find you anywhere and was starting to panic, when he smelt the familiar scent that was your soft skin after a shower.

Reminiscent of the time you had sat beside him in the basement of the Bighit building. You hadn’t shared many moments together and he regretted every negative action he had made. 

His hand stopped on the door knob, momentarily nervous of what he would find. Pressing the door open he saw your figure on the floor surrounded by blood. 

The cold feeling that washed over him was intense. He grabbed a towel and wrapped you in it, carrying you to the couch in the lounge room. The whole side of your face was covered in blood. He called your name, repeatedly and you groaned. “I have a headache please keep it down. I am tired.” Being Namjoon meant he came prepared and pulled out a thin first aid kit from his side bag. 

He started cleaning the wound and dressing it, asking if you wished to go to the hospital but you refused. You mumbled to him explaining that you had a mild to moderate concussion and as long as you were able to wake up when called then you weren’t in immediate danger.

“Why are you here on your own?”

“Thomas went with Areum.”

“No, I know that, I just– why didn’t you see if anyone could help you? You are still getting back on your feet, literally” Namjoon scolded you. He was frustrated and angry, taking it out on you because he was worried and upset that he hadn’t been there to protect.

“I couldn’t really ask you now could I, remember you told me to stay away from the group” You hummed honestly too tired to fight but it didn’t stop you from trying.

“Look I am going to pack you a bag and you can stay with us for the night until your brother comes home” Namjoon sighed and walked to your room, beginning to pile clothes into a bag. He returned with clothes and laid them out on your bed, Yoongi’s hoodie and sweatpants among them. Part of him wanted to throw away his hyung’s clothes but another part of him loved to see you dressed in any of their stuff.

“Let me help you get dressed,” Namjoon said and it wasn’t an easy task considering that you were in pain, naked and he had feelings for you. He found himself growing warm a few times, having to walk away to cool the flames of his cheeks.

~

Walking into the building wearing a cheap suit and a side bag full of equipment, the odd man arrived at a small office, stepping inside he placed down a few photos on the desk. 

“Allan, I think that you are onto something but we can’t use these. The company can easily deny these pictures. We need more evidence regarding the topic.”

“Yes sir, I will do my best to find out what I can. I am sure something is going on between them but it is unconfirmed at the present moment. I will do anything in my power to expose them.”

~

Namjoon carried you to the Taxi out the front trying his best to move you quickly without further damaging your vulnerable figure. Placing you within the taxi, he gave his return address and you were weaving through cars and traffic. 

Namjoon felt uneasy with the clear windows but turned his concerns to you, your head had fallen onto his shoulder and he tucked some of your damp hair behind your ear. The taxi reached the address but the gates of Hanam were packed with reporters, he did his best to conceal his face with glasses, a hood cap and face mask, he pulled the hood up over your head and tucked your face into his chest.

Security let the taxi through but the paparazzi were rioting to get in and find out which Korean celebrity was bringing home a girl and holding her so lovingly.

Namjoon helped you out of the vehicle and into the elevator, your head resting on his chest. You were conscious the whole time but found it easier to pretend otherwise. He was so gentle and honest when you were alone and he didn’t have to keep up appearances.

His chest was warm and wide, as you laid your head on the large chest muscle you knew the fans were correct about the ‘namtiddies’. He brought you to the door of the apartment and put the code into the lock pad. He shuffled both of you inside, the door clipping your ankle.

“Ow!” Namjoon looked down worriedly, turning quickly and you saw the corner of a wall headed straight for you. A hand cupped your head and stopped you from the impending impact.

“Let me take her Hyung” Jungkook reached out, taking you from him and carrying you to the couch. He must have noticed the flesh blood on the bandage on your head “What happened?” 

Jungkook’s hand caressed your head, his thumb ghosting over the dressing on your brow bone. “You got hurt again.”

“I slipped over in the shower.”

“Well, I am here now to protect you. Are you hungry?” 

~

After making a few calls, the man received a uniform and would be joining a group for a routine inspection of the Hanam properties to make sure that they are up to fire safety standards. This meant he would have access to the biggest celebrities' homes. All he could think about was the scandals he could uncover.

“You have to be there early. We are already putting ourselves on the line by taking you along, this makes us even. Every scandal you have of me and my business is gone” the voice said before hanging up. Allan’s lips pulled up into a wide grin, he would have you now.


	50. 12/05/2020

Everything was so chaotic and yet so heartwarming. The boys were doting on you; bringing you food and drinks and tucking you in on the couch. Jimin snuggled under the blankets resting his head on your stomach laying against you, legs tangled together. He was sleeping peacefully with the blanket over his head and under your chin. 

You wrapped your arms around him and fell asleep happily, the weight was very grounding and therapeutic, plus he was warm and not extremely heavy. You all intended to watch a movie but you each fell asleep happily.

Waking later that evening the boys were collecting their things and cleaning up before bed. Taehyung sleepily tried to clean but ended up leaning on Yoongi who was doing the dishes.

He complained as he tried to readjust the younger man’s head so it wouldn’t fall off his shoulder. “Come on, Tae it’s time for bed.”

Hoseok collected the younger boy and walked him down the corridor and into his room, carefully tucking him in and dodging the long limbs that grabbed for someone to cuddle and handed him a pillow instead.

Hoseok returned with a soft smile, “Where would you like to sleep tonight? We all are no strangers to sharing a room, we have been for seven years now. Hell, Jimin and I still share a room.”

“Um…I don’t mind.”

“Okay; Namjoon snores, Seokjin and Taehyung have a tendency to talk and clap in their sleep, the latter also will cuddle you to death, Hobi touches himself.”

“Hyung!” Hoseok hissed his face going bright red as he covered his giant embarrassed smile, “Not like that!”

“Yeah, it’s like he is having an imaginary bath and he just gently rubs his arms, belly and legs,” Jimin giggled, “We have videos.”

“Jimin cuddles too, just less aggressively as Taehyung-ah. I sleep half/completely naked and Jungkook gets undressed through the night and moves his hands a lot,” Yoongi continued.

“Maybe with Namjoon” You smiled softly, looking at them all curiously “He seems like the safest bet.”

“You want some earplugs?” Seokjin offers with a laugh and you shake your head, “I think I would like to hear that he is there and breathing. I don’t know, it will feel less lonely that way.”

They all parted ways and Namjoon silently walked down the hallway. You followed him inside his room and he shut the door firmly behind him. Maybe you had made the wrong decision choosing Namjoon. It was awkward and you didn’t know what to do or say.

He looked at you and hummed opening his cupboard and pulling out a ‘Fear of God’ shirt and handing it to you then back searching for some pants. Had he forgotten that he had half-packed you a bag of clothes? He was mumbling about finding you some shorts when you stripped off behind him into the baggy shirt, walking into the bed and laying down.

“I don’t need pants, the shirt covers enough” You picked up his notebook and tried to read the page he had written on and he turned eyes bugging out. Placing the book down thinking maybe you shouldn’t have touched it but he laughed.

“You and I have different opinions on what classifies as enough” he left to take a shower as you laid on his bed staring at the ceiling. Jimin and Hoseok snuck in to wish you a good night.

“Goodnight, Jagi” Hoseok leaned down to give you a kiss and you let out a sound of surprise. His warm lips sparking the familiar supernova in your chest. He pulled away and left with a wave.

“Ah, Hyung” Jimin slapped Hoseok shoulder as he left the room, pouting Jimin walked and gave you a quick hug. You kissed his cheek wishing him a good night. He pulled back beaming and ran off with his hands over his cheek.

You grinned laying down sinking into the cloud-like mattress, this was such a contrast from the clinic cots and the stiff bed in your brother’s apartment. You hope he didn’t mind but you wrote on a page in his book. You assumed it was full of lyrics but you couldn’t read Korean and there was something you had to tell him but you knew you could never find the right words. 

Namjoon stepped into the room, his hair still partially damp from a rushed blow-dry. He walked over to the bed in only sleep pants, watching you as you laid there unable to sleep. He slid under the covers and took his book from the nightstand and his pen, he was propped up by pillows deep in thought. 

“Namjoon?” 

“Yes?” He said not taking his eyes off the book as he found his place. He didn’t expect your hand to drape over his soft stomach or your head to nuzzle into his side. Lifting his arm, he saw you nestled in the blankets, lips parted gently releasing warm breaths against his bare skin. 

“Can you read to me?” His heart skipped a beat. This was what he wanted, this was what he always wanted. He let his arm fall to rest over your shoulder and he began reading the passage. 

_ “She says I have a way with words.”  _ His voice was deep with exhaustion from a long day. His words soothed you into a soft state but with each new line, the words became a clipped tone, his chin pushing forward.

_ But how can something so pure be stained so blue, like a bucket overflowing and yet still managing to not let it show.  _ _   
_ _ She lets me kiss her lips, never to move against me the way I do her, never with the same ecstasy that I squeeze her hips. _ _   
_ _ We are all the same, her bucket overflows with tears unshed, we sit and shed them for her.  _ _   
_ _ Her skin oozes distance, her eyes scream alone, she buries her hope and tears apart her love because when she looks at us she sees nothing.  _ _   
_ __ We are all the same, but she said…

_ “I had a way with words.”  _ His breath was shaky; he seemed tense but truly it was a beautiful piece.

“That was beautiful, what's it called?” you rubbed your eyes trying to massage away the pain behind them, your head wound was throbbing painfully.

“This is a personal song called Tasteless,” he smiled, “It’s about you.”

“Me?” You turned around, looking him in the eyes. He blushed seeing you sitting on your knees, facing him with big curious eyes.

“It’s about how you bottle everything up and how you don’t care about your own well being. It makes us worried; how you look at us. No, how you look at me as if I wasn’t just a rapper, as if I was not a billboard artist but the same as you. It gives me a false hope. As if I can walk the streets beside you. God, I wish I was the same as you.”

“We haven’t kissed though,” You said confused, trying to think back on whether you had forgotten anything important. The line from his poem about his way with words brought with it the fond memory of Namjoon reading to you. That night when you had all drank a little too much. Before everything turned sour, you were so naive back then to their idol lifestyle.

“It is a metaphor that I want to but I can’t.”

“This is confusing Namjoon. You are telling me I can’t hang out with you guys and I shouldn’t lead the boys on but that’s what you are doing. I’m getting mixed signals. Why is it when we are alone you become someone else? Only when there is no one else– no other band members or the damn company breathing down your neck– is the only time you open up to me and tell me all these things.”

“Look you know where I stand on this, I can’t,” he sighed, “We all can’t and shouldn’t, we are bound by contract.”

“Then why– if you truly believe that– am I here? Why did you go to my brother’s apartment to save me?”

“I don’t know” he muttered and your mouth fell open. Crawling out of the bed without a word, you walked straight for the door ignoring his calls as you shut the door behind you.

Jungkook with a bag of snacks and a drink paused looking guilty. “Please don’t tell Seokjin I ate his snacks.”


	51. 15/05/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry that this took so long I posted it on Tumblr and then had the biggest breakdown of the century. Please know that I am here for you all during this quarantine even when my story is late I am thinking about you all.

The boy stood there head bowed low, waiting to be scolded. When it didn’t come he looked up to see the somber expression upon your tired face. You both heard a door open from down the hall and Jungkook grabbed you by the forearm, scrambling to his room.

He silently shut the door and sighed, resting his back against it and seeing you more clearly. The room was dimly lit but in the glow of the overhead lights he saw how cute you looked in just a big shirt. A part of him was jealous, he loved Namjoon’s ‘Fear of God’ shirts but he never let him wear them.

You looked around the young idols room, taking note of all the designer products thrown around the room. There seemed to be an abundance of white shirts and black pants; you didn’t understand the point of buying multiples of the same thing. 

Jungkook was tongue-tied. He wanted to let you know you could sit anywhere but he just opened and closed his mouth while watching you slowly walk around his room. He swore, placing his drink and snacks on his desk and rushing around to pick up his dirty clothes.

“Ah, I am sorry, I am usually clean.” He was trying to rush, his dirty clothes hamper filled to the brim, and when he turned he saw you crawling into his bed. The shirt you adorned had risen just a fraction, revealing a little ways up the back of your smooth thighs. His eyes caught the pink scar left over from the exit wound. Jungkook was bright red watching you slip under the covers.

He scurried over to his desk to recover his drink and quench the dryness in his mouth. Trying to ignore your presence, he played video games and ate snacks while you watched from the bed stealing said snacks and commentating. When things got silent, Jungkook turned to see you had fallen asleep on the bed sideways facing the computer. 

Logging off, Jungkook disposed of the evidence in his waste paper basket and scooped you into his arms, walking around the bed to tuck you in. The shirt you wore rode up your thigh again but this time he saw the front and the textured scar that laid there was like a unique flower he had never seen before.

He pulled the blankets up over you and stared at the bed; you who had been woken slightly from the movement mumbled. 

“Just get in the bed Jaykay?”

~

Dressed in a grey and navy jumpsuit, Allan readjusted the small camera he held. He couldn’t carry around his professional camera or he would be found out in an instant. Looking the part, he hopped into the van and headed towards Hannam the hill. 

The group started distributing apartment lists, the first couple of houses, and moved along sweeping the place. He was looking at the checklist of houses and counted down until he reached the one under the name of Bang Si-Hyuk. 

He nodded, following orders and taking photos of the fire alarms, and for extinguishers working, exit lights, and checking off lists that everything was working and in order. The stairwells and exits were all kept clear. 

He didn’t really see anything worthy of a photo as of yet but he wasn’t cutting corners on his job at hand. He wasn’t going to be the reason any of these people lost their lives or he would be out of a job.

~

Jungkook was warm. He felt a comfortable weight against his chest and assumed it was Jimin, who loved laying on top of others to sleep. But when he sensed movement and heard a soft sweet moan that wasn’t Jimin, memories of the night before came back. He felt your chest press against him, his tired eyes bugging out.

His heart sped up as he laid perfectly still, trying not to think about it. His free hand searching the bedside table for his phone. He pulled up the phone and received a text saying the buildings were being inspected by the ‘NBCK’, National Building Codes and standards of Korea.

“Ah, people would be walking through the house and inspecting the rooms windows, heating systems, fire alarms right now” Jungkook sneered, his arm flopping onto the mattress. He had to get dressed and clean his room properly. What would army think if word got out he was in boxers and a singlet next to a young woman? His room a pigsty and—

Jungkook bolted upright, throwing you, who was delicately snug against him, across the bed. You yelped, looking around alarmed as he scrambled around the room for clothes.

“Jungkook what is going on?” He grabbed and dragged you into his closet and, thrusting some pants into your arms. “What is happening?”

“You have to go now,” He said, pulling sweatpants over his boxes and ripping off his singlet, replacing it with a shirt. When he turned around he saw you clutching the sweatpants tears pouring down your cheeks. 

He froze, “No! I don’t mean leave because I don’t want you here. There are people coming and they can’t see you here in our house or it will be all over the news. I didn’t mean I actually wanted you to leave, leave.”

You sniffed, wiping your eyes. You were too tired to even comprehend what was happening. Clearly you were emotional from yesterday’s injury, last night’s falling out with Namjoon, and then being abruptly woken up and told to leave. 

The tears fell naturally as your body wished for some emotional release from the everything leading up to this moment. You pulled on the sweatpants as Jungkook kissed your temple, “Hey it’s okay” he smiled. He led you out of the room to see the guys all tiredly sitting around the kitchen table before their eyes landed on you.

They seemed to panic all at once. “I will take her home,” Seokjin said, standing and taking your hand. He was leading you over to the hall table to fetch the car keys when there was a knock at the front door. “What do we do?”

“Hide her somewhere?” He shouted before heading to the door calling out to the people “Just a minute.”

Seokjin grabbed your hand and ran into his room. He placed you in the closet and listened by the door.

“Alright, where shall we start, the left hallway or the right?” the man asked, his voice cheery.

“The right, the right” Seokjin hissed under his breath.

“Uh, the left” Namjoon spoke confidently.

“Of course, let’s start with the first room.” Seokjin ripped his shirt over his head. The sight was positively stunning: broad round shoulders and the wide expanse of his chest along with a cinched waist. He was a stunning specimen if you did say so yourself. And you did.

“Actually, I was just about to get changed. If you head to the next room I will be done in a few minutes” Seokjin smiled politely, hoping this would work. “Of course.”

Once the coast was clear, Yoongi reached in and dragged you, quicker than you have ever thought him capable of, to the in-home studio room and shut the door. He waited with an ear pressed to the door. He heard one of the men ask, “Do you mind if we split up and cover more rooms? We will be out of your hair quicker this way.”

“Uh are you sure? I don’t want you to miss anything, better to be thorough” Namjoon smiled.

“Oh, it’s okay. We work in teams of two so we will be better working separately.”

“Oh okay then” Namjoon’s voice clipped as Yoongi smacked himself in his head. “You can start with the studio, I don’t think anyone is working at the moment.” 

Yoongi swore under his breath while you laughed at the irony. The ring of the studio doorbell echoed through the room. “Ah, Yoongi must be working. How about you take my office and I will text him about the inspection.”

The men went into the office down at the end of the hall. Yoongi opened the door, leaning out. The boys stood guard on either side of the hallway to prevent either group of men noticing the female amongst them.


	52. 18/05/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Detailed depictions of a Panic Attack will be framed by red dividers.
> 
> I spent a few days break completing the next 4 chapters and I should have chapter 60 completed by this Friday at the latest. I was dealing with some things that really had me but we are good now.

**Warning: Detailed depictions of a Panic Attack will be framed by red dividers.**

Your head flipped back and forth between the boys, they each stared at each other, quietly thinking of somewhere for you to hide. You looked around and Jimin grabbed your hand, dragging you into his and Hoseok’s bedroom. 

Followed closely by Jungkook and Hoseok, the three pushed and pulled you around the room, trying to find you a place to hide and not be seen. Jimin ripped open the closet door and tried to place you behind the coats but Jungkook smacked him on the back of the head, pointing into the bathroom. They turned back around cursing that the whole bathroom was predominantly open with glass dividers.

“Yah, what about in here?” Hoseok called, waving to where he lifted the lid of the large  upholstered bedroom bench; a hollow ottoman that sat at the end of the bed that he and Jimin usually filled with throw pillows when they weren’t in use.

He gestured inside and Jimin held your hands, helping you step inside and lay back. You don’t know why but you felt a little nervous, gripping the vocalist’s hand tightly in yours. “You will be here, right?”

“I will be on the other side waiting for you,” He grinned, his puffy aegyo-sal hiding his eyes from you in his trademark smile. You pressed your lips to his, feeling the satin of his lips. His kiss was similar to Hoseok’s and yet so different. It was like you had ignited a red-hot fire inside of him. 

Before you had kissed him on the cheek and the poor boy almost turned into a bright red tomato. So why was it this time he wasn’t blushing and shying away? This was like he was about to burn you up entirely the way his hands dove into your hair, thick lips molding against yours. His cherry red lips were sweet and sultry as the fruit itself and you couldn’t help but let your teeth sink into his bottom lip. 

It was so delectably chewy and you found yourself wanting the moment to last forever. A small angelic moan surfaced, a stark contrast to his sinful lips. He was the devil in disguise.

He pulled away and shut the lid, shrouding you in darkness. You laid there instantly feeling the need to pee.  _ Why was it whenever you had to hide you had to pee?  _ As everything settled you realized you were breathing heavily and your heart was racing. 

Laying there, you felt the pain in your leg wound. The pain grew so strong, your body turning weak. Seokjin’s voice pleading with you as the temperature dropped, begging you to wake up, gunshots echoing in your head. 

Why now? Things had been going so well. These sensations were all in your head and you knew it _.  _ You whispered, repeating the mantras Doctor Lee drilled into you during every session.

“When it gets low, reach out to your friends and they will be there.” Flattening your hand against the wood of the ottoman, you tried to feel for any sign that Jimin was on the other side for you. 

_ “But what if they aren’t?” your voice tiny and unsure, she looked up with a smile.  _

_ “That’s the big mystery. We never know what’s on the other side, what we can’t see. Do they really care? What do they think? We can never know without asking but there is this big thing I want you to work on and that is trust.” She wrote a small list on a piece of paper.  _

_ “You do everything on your own because you said so yourself, you won’t ever let yourself down but you need to learn to trust others. Your assignment is to put your trust in someone and try to–I don’t know how but–let them lead you for a day and follow them.”  _

_ The single piece of paper in your hands felt like the weight of the world. The activities she had written down were quite fun: letting a friend plan a day out and not be told what is planned, following instructions to cook something you never have before.  _

You were sure getting locked in a box could clarify as a trust exercise but it was a damn scary one and not something you wished to experience. You felt yourself start to tense more and more as panic set in. You started gasping into the hand that you had pressed to your mouth to prevent making a sound. 

Tears fell down your cheeks and you couldn’t breathe like your throat had closed over entirely. This continued and fear took over your body as you pushed against the ottoman lid.

It didn’t budge. Your breathing grew harder and desperate as you began banging against the lid until the burn in your lungs rose so strong that you almost passed out from the lack of oxygen.

That’s when you heard his sweet voice singing just on the other side of the lid as he promised.  Your breathing stilled, the knife in your chest easing away slowly as you listened to the angelic aching tones of Jimin’s voice.

He sang about water and love, all in English, and you were honestly so grateful. You wouldn’t have been able to translate in your head right now. His cute accent made your heartbeat slow to a calm pace. With your body at ease, the adrenaline wore off and you fell asleep exhausted. 

~

Jimin felt the lid of the ottoman push against him from where he sat on it, preventing you from being found by the men inspecting the property. A sharp sting shot in his chest from hearing your whimper. He laid across the ottoman on his stomach, pulling his phone from his back pocket and opening Spotify. Water Fountain played quietly from his phone speaker.

He sang with his lips almost pressed to the bench, hoping to get through the fabric and into the depths of the hollowed inside in which you lied. He hoped his words could reach and calm you. When he didn’t feel your small fists collide with the lid of the bench anymore he smiled softly.

~

Allan looked around the room, testing the smoke alarms and the windows to make sure there were no obstructions in case there ever was a fire in the future. He had no ill will to wish that on anyone and there was no immediate evidence to anyone being present. He walked around and placed down the clipboard, smiling at the idol lounging on the long ottoman bench at the end of the bed.

“You are a lovely singer,” he smiled, picking up his bag, “I have to take a picture of this electrical socket that is damaged. I want to document this in case anything goes wrong and it starts a fire or electrocutes anyone.”

He placed down his bag and pulled out a small basic camera. Jimin smiled, still singing, and gestured to the wall. Allan stepped closer, crouching down and peeking under the bed as he took a picture of the socket.

“Well I best be off then, I don’t want to inconvenience you any longer.” He smiled picking up his bag and pulling it over his shoulder, slipping the camera back inside. “You have a lovely day.”

He made it to the end of the hall before realizing he forgot the clipboard on the desk and had to retrieve it. 

~

Jimin sighed, shutting the door behind him before rushing back and lifting the lid to the bench. His eyes grew wet seeing you still breathing softly, hands balled into small fists. Your knuckles would definitely be bruised from the lid of the ottoman. He lifted you from the box, closing it and carrying you to the bed. He wiped your eyes and tried to soothe your sad expression.

Jimin sniffed, his eyes feeling a little misty, as the door was thrown open. “I am sorry. I forgot my clipboard” Allan walked in and grabbed the clipboard, noticing you in the bed beside Jimin. He paused and gave a small nod to Jimin before promptly walking out. 


	53. 21/05/2020

Allan shut the door and looked down the hallway, so you were here. He didn’t pretend he didn’t see your sad expression but who were you? You couldn’t be the average foreigner if these boys were all so fond of you. They invited you into their house, you were definitely someone important to them. 

He wasn’t upset that he didn’t get a photo. He wanted the story first, something told him it would make the story more meaningful somehow. For now, he was feeding his own curiosity. He drove home and walked inside to his son studying at the kitchen table. 

“Hey kid, what are you doing?” Allan asked, peaking over his son’s shoulder and grabbing the book to glance at the cover, “biology homework?”

“I think I know what I want to do dad,” his son sighed, stretching his back and looking up with a small smile, “I am going to try my best to be a doctor, so I can help others, it’s important to me.”

“You still should be resting after your surgery. How about I make something warm for your tummy?” Sitting down and flicking through the son’s work and marking them for him circling the ones he might need to revisit. He loved his son dearly and would do anything for him. “What brought this on?”

“I just want to be good. I remember how much pain I was in and she was there by my side. She carried me to the hospital, the whole way in her arms and took care of me. She saved so many people and all I got was a photo but I want to see her again and show her how cool I can be too when she needs it.”

~

“I think she should stay here too Namjoon-ah” Yoongi sighed, brewing coffee for those who drank it. He always used little gestures like this to show the boys he cared; he made their coffee exactly how they liked. He even made one for you, making it precisely as he had observed over the time of your stay in the BigHit building. 

“I want to keep her” Taehyung pouted, stomping around the house, making Seokjin smile at how lovable the farmer’s son was this morning. 

“Our boy is in love Joonie, we shouldn’t crush it” Seokjin flipped more pancakes, swatting greedy hands from Jimin and Jungkook, both trying to sneak some whilst he was still cooking. 

Hoseok walked you into the kitchen, he dressed you this morning in his cute street hip hop style. You had your own clothes but Namjoon had picked tight pants that were hard to put on by yourself; they irritated your leg a little. You briefly wondered if Namjoon was a fan of tight pants on you, remembering he did have a tendency to stare at your behind a few days after you had first met. 

Hoseok kissed Seokjin, an obvious distraction to his real mission which was swiping four pancakes. He handed one each to Jimin and Jungkook before handing you one and grinning at the eldest. 

Seokjin watched Hoseok eat the pancake exaggeratedly. He moved to press Hoseok’s chest against the counter, stealing the pancake back and shoving it into his own mouth.

“You steal from me again– I will have you eating plain rice for a week, you understand?”

“Ok fine but I have to take princess to her PT session so I need her fed,” Hoseok answered, pushing against the older male with his rump, “also you’re squishing my crackers.”

“Is that what kids are calling it these days?” Yoongi asked, handing Jimin a cup of coffee. Jimin gave a shrug pecking Yoongi on the lips. “You are eating well, I could just watch you and Jungkook eat and feel full.”

You and Hoseok were given travel mugs, promptly taking your leave so you didn’t miss your appointment. 

It was on your way out of the session a girl snapped a picture, the sound audible causing Hoseok to freeze before leading you to the car. 

He then dropped you off at the psychiatrist. As you headed inside Hoseok’s phone pinged. While the two of you sat in the waiting room you took a quick glance to see a new hashtag trending. #Hoseok_Dating. There were only a few pictures but it was enough to cause damage. He went onto Weverse and you frowned, “Can we send a picture and explain?”

“That might just add fuel to the fire.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. He received a text from Namjoon “We all have to call the board when you get home.”

“You could say I am a backup dancer who got injured and needed a ride to PT. It can be something innocent like that.” 

“I have to go,” he said with a small smile, “we will pick you up after, okay?”

~

Hoseok walked through the door of the apartment and sighed, his mouth in a soft pyramid shape. Jimin walked over and took his hand, leading him back to the couch. Hoseok looked to his left at Yoongi and then his right at Jimin and sighed again. 

“I’m sorry that we got caught. I am sorry I was the one to let you all down.”

“We have to start the call” Namjoon sighed, setting up the laptop screen. At the end of the table Yoongi took Hoseok’s hand and intertwined their fingers. Jimin placed his hand on Hoseok’s shaking thigh. 

“Stay calm” Hoseok breathed, sitting up straighter and squaring his shoulders. He wasn’t going to cower away. 

~

The board of directors reprimanded them, refusing to allow them to see you further as it was bad for their image and they were under contract. Taehyung refused, standing up and blatantly telling them he wanted to redraw the contracts. Seokjin bit his lip, he told himself he wouldn’t give in to fear and would stand up for what he wanted. He then, quite literally, pushed himself onto his feet to stand beside Taehyung. 

“I agree with Taehyung, I wish to redraw the contracts. I am not going to back down on this. She is our friend, who saved Jungkook’s and my life; she took a bullet and is in therapy because of us. The military is doing more for her than this company. I will walk her into her PT sessions everyday, in front of the Army if I have too.”

Everyone went silent as the boys, one by one, stood together. Only Namjoon stayed seated, feeling torn on the couch. “What do you have to say, Kim Namjoon-ssi?”

“Namjoon for once what do you want?” Jimin challenged, calling to him over the divide that was the living room. His band members stood on one side of the chasm with the part of him who wanted exactly what they wanted. He remembered your face as you left his room the night before and how he couldn’t sleep because of it. 

He didn’t realise he was holding his breath until he stopped in front of his band members. A weight off his shoulders, elation in his heart as he breathed easy. He finally felt like he was part of the team once more. He puffed out his chest proud and turned to the board. 

“Let’s talk then,” Bang Si-hyuk sighed, his hands tapping the table, “We will contact you with a decision. Try not to cause any more scandals in the meantime.”

~ 

“You are looking steadier on your feet. There is such a difference from when we first met. You could even lift your leg up onto the couch,” Doctor Lee smiled, placing down her folder and walking you to the door, “you have come such a long way and it wasn’t easy but you did it and that is a huge accomplishment.”

“Thank you so much” you grinned, stepping out the front of the building. You noticed that the car wasn’t here yet so you took a seat on the bench, waiting while scrolling through social media. 

BigHit put out a statement, “None of the members are dating. There had been an incident during the lockdown with one of the back up dancers, who will remain unnamed for her safety. She was severely injured; the band members were just helping her get to her appointment.”

A notification popped up on your phone; Hoseok was doing a Vlive with Jimin. You clicked on the link, catching them in the middle of their conversation. “Ah just because people are asking I will answer, she is our friend and dancer, who got injured during the lockdown.”


	54. 24/05/2020

You texted Jimin, whose phone was in his hands, and showed Hoseok. “She just texted us to say she is watching and that it is okay to tell the story.”

“Jungkook, as we had told you all, had dislocated his arm after an accident at a dance practice. That’s why there was the incident with the walkie talkies.” Jimin laughed at the stupidity of his band members talking on an emergency channel, creating a frenzy of fan girls who flooded the line. 

“She left the BigHit building and was working for a clinic just down the road where she would transport supplies to buildings that were running low” Jimin smiled, his hands moving across the screen to demonstrate the clinic and the buildings. “And on top of that was escorting sick, injured and dying individuals to the hospital through the fog and the dangerous figures walking the streets at night.” 

“Now, she was carrying patients in her arms, walking hours to the hospital,” Hoseok butted in, trying to express the amount she had contributed to the audience, “she came to escort Jungkook and take him to the clinic where his shoulder was repaired. He is in perfect condition once more; he just has to be careful with his shoulder.” 

“She led him to the clinic for treatment and when it was time to bring him back Seokjin offered to help retrieve him. So she led him there and escorted them both back together.” Hoseok paused, feeling a little melancholy and Jimin licked his lip nervously, running his hand through his hair. “It was on her return trip back to the clinic she got shot in the leg.”

“She is so brave. She saved a few lives and delivered a baby; walking and carrying patients through the fog while several gunmen ran around. She is like Mother Teresa” Jimin gushed, looking like he was going to cry which didn’t go unnoticed by you or the rest of army in the comments.

Most of the comments spoke about how it could have been Jungkook or Seokjin who had gotten shot. They were all thanking you, calling you Mother Teresa. You smiled softly, you didn’t do it to be thanked like this but the recognition and approval for your work was unlike anything you had felt before. 

Jimin was quick to praise your efforts, “We don’t know what we would have done if something like that happened to Jungkook or Seokjin. We are so thankful that it didn’t. Her ability to maneuver through the fog undetected was our saving grace.”

“Her brother, one of our choreographers, is out of town,” Hoseok began explaining, “she has no one to help her right now; she actually fell and hit her head trying to move around on her own. So, we agreed to escort her to therapy sessions while her brother is away so that she can get better.”

“She is getting better,” Jimin answered a question, “She was using crutches–it was so painful and tiring for her to walk. Now she uses this cane that she decorated, so it was something pretty to help her. We have to wait to see the extent of the damage but I think she will be able to dance again someday, even just a little.”

—

You were listening to them chat for a while when a question popped up in your mind: If they were live who was picking you up? Standing with the assistance of your cane, you looked up and down the street for a familiar car. You were about to give up hope when you turned to see Jungkook, waiting with a coffee in each hand. 

Taehyung stood beside him smiling, holding two muffins and behind them Seokjin, who locked the car, walked over, his hands buried in his coat pockets. 

Your face held a huge megawatt smile. You couldn’t control how happy you were. You looked down and covered your face, suddenly feeling shy. 

“I got you a muffin but I don’t know what flavor you like so I got a fruit blueberry one and a chocolate chip” Taehyung offered.

“Hmm, they both sound delicious,” you hummed, “that’s a hard decision.”

“I know I can’t choose either,” He pouted.

“How about we have half each” you suggested and his eyes lit up, nodding. 

Seokjin had an errand to run so the rest of you sat in the van enjoying coffee and cakes. 

“Hey, we never got around to going to a restaurant, like we promised when the lock down was lifted.”

“Hmm, I will text Jin while he’s out to set us up a reservation. Where should we go?” Jungkook asked, the three of you starting to brainstorm ideas for dinner plans. 

Seokjin returned to the car and confirmed he booked the restaurant for a private dinner a week from now.

~

Allan was on the phone with his boss. It seemed he didn’t take well to a viral post leaking the scandal. Allan assured him that his scoop was better and BigHit was covering up. 

“I saw her in their house– I am getting close. I will give you a photo that brings on the scandal of the century.”

“I want background on her. We need to know who she is and what she is doing with them?” Allan nodded and then realized his boss couldn’t see him and confirmed audibly. “You better bring me a scandal that is worth the front page or kiss your son’s tuition goodbye.”

The line went dead and Allan sighed, walking out of his tiny garage and into the kitchen; his son working hard at the dining hall table. 

He walked by, placing a hand atop his son’s head and smiled softly, “How about I make you something to eat, anything you want?”

~

“Alright so you are telling me you have never played halligalli?” Jungkook asked, shocked as you all stepped into the apartment. 

“Funnily enough, I haven’t played any Korean games that you know and love,” you state.

“Not even dibidibidip?” Hoseok looked over from the couch “or something traditional like Yut?” 

“Gonggi?” Jimin questioned, looking over from the table where he was working on some sort of craft. 

“007 BANG!” Yoongi inquired curiously, sitting beside Jimin and watching him work carefully.

“No I haven’t. Have you heard of wink murder or the chocolate game?”

“The chocolate game?” Hoseok’s ears perked up. 

~ 

“Twelve, go Jimin” you shouted, gesturing to the middle where Taehyung was with a mouth full of chocolate, sawing away at the family sized candy bar. 

“Go Jiminie” Yoongi called. 

Taehyung quickly ripped off the costume and ran back to his seat in the circle. Jimin began pulling on the dress, necklace, hat, gloves and sunglasses and taking the knife and fork, sawing at the small cubes within the chocolate bar. 

You each took turns rolling the dice. Hoseok rolled a twelve and cheered, running up to the middle. The costume transferred from Jimin to Hoseok, who dressed and got to work sawing at the chocolate bar. 

Jimin sat beside you on your right and Taehyung on your left; their chocolatey grins were just so adorable, you giggled hysterically. 

It wasn’t until it was Yoongi’s turn that you lost it completely; seeing him in a blue dress, a pearl necklace, clout goggles, a huge straw hat and fluffy gloves, complaining as he cut away at chocolate. 

You rolled a twelve and moved it along, making Jimin laugh beside you and topple over. 

Yoongi soon realized everyone was a little too quiet and noticed they were filming and pretending to roll the dice. The pale rapper— with a mouth full of chocolate—complained even harder.

~

The group settled down after a plethora of games and excitement, heading for showers. You dressed all warm and cozy, now addressing the issue where all the boys wanted you to stay with them. You were lured in by Taehyung, who wrapped you securely in his arms all night. It was actually super reassuring to be held and feel safe and protected. For the second night since staying with the boys, you didn’t have any nightmares.


	55. 29/05/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have planned up to chapter 70. Haha, when will the real quarantine end? Sorry that it took a while I really want the story to last for the whole of the quarantine.

The next morning, when everyone woke, there was a new trending hashtag about you. People called you the Bangtan Angel. You blushed, pushing your phone away and trying to gather strength in your legs to stand. Phone chiming, you were getting a call from your brother. **  
**

“Hello?”

“Hey, I am calling to check up on you after your fall?”

“I thought we agreed we wouldn’t speak about that.”

“Well it’s just that things are going really well down here, and her family has their own traditional celebration coming up and well– they invited me to participate. Would it be–”

“Of course you have to stay. These are your new inlaws we are talking about, you have to make a good impression” you teased your brother, hoping to embarrass him.

“We aren’t married yet.”

“Yet?” You grinned. Thomas got all tongue-tied trying to take back what he said. “Just have fun Thomas, I will see you when you get back.”

The phone call was kind of refreshing, you however were physically not, it seemed cuddling all night with Taehyung made you sweat. It left you smelling like you had run across a desert at midday.

You gathered your things, finding a clean dress and undergarments. Namjoon had a very selective style; this was a going out dress that you might see at a club not an at-home one. You smiled that all the underwear were colorful lace that didn’t match the bras at all. You found a few pairs but you knew he didn’t particularly pick them out on purpose, he just grabbed what caught his eye.

You headed to the bathroom, clothes under your arm as you leaned heavily into your cane to support your muscles, stiff from lack of use overnight. “Hey, would I be able to borrow a towel?”

“Sure,” Jungkook nodded, walking you to the linen cupboard outside the bathroom. He pulled out a towel and handed it over before stopping. “Are you planning to take a shower?”

“I was, is there a problem with me showering?” You looked around him to the empty bathroom behind him. “What if you slip?”

“Look I wasn’t planning on it, but if it happens I will leave the door unlocked and trust you boys to be respectful when you help me,” you shrugged, “We can’t predict the future and there is no use not doing something because there might be an issue. Should I never eat again because there is a possibility I might choke?”

He nodded and stepped aside, gesturing for you to walk into the bathroom. He followed you inside, “The shower has a preset temperature here and you only have to turn on the hot water. That temperature will come out constantly and if it is too hot you can add cold but if it is too cold I can change it for you” He smiled.

You froze and he looked at you, gesturing to the shower, “Tell me if the temperature is okay?” You nodded, turning on the tap and placing your hand under. 

“This is perfect Jaykay, now get out.”

He pouted and left the room. You undressed and stepped into the shower. While washing your hair you got soap in your eye. You tried to grab your towel but slipped and landed on your butt, a few bottles falling from the shower caddy.

Jungkook busted into the room, hearing the crash. He threw open the shower door and grabbed your face, seeing you frowning. Quickly he looked you over before looking up at the tiles on the wall. “Are you hurt?”

“No, I am okay. I just got soap in my eyes and fell” you mumbled. He grabbed your hands, lifted you onto your feet, and tried to help flush your eyes. “Ah– thanks Jaykay that feels much better.” 

Looking down you saw his white shirt and sweatpants were drenched and stuck to his chest; his broadness on display, contrasting only with his tiny waist.

~

It was a long day at your PT session and you were struggling; your leg was shaking and giving out more than ever. It seemed last night’s games, though fun, had weakened your leg. When your leg gave out on the small three-step stair activity, you were reduced to tears. You had been pretty good up till this point with little setbacks in your progress. Even if it was small, every day you still stood longer, took one step more, or completed the small course in a shorter amount of time.

But today was the first backwards step and you were distraught. It made you question: ‘what is it all for?’ You called ahead and told Doctor Lee that you couldn’t speak to her today. She gave you a little phone consult asking why and thanking you for being honest, wishing you rest and recovery.

You texted Namjoon asking him to pick you up. Seokjin dropped you off that morning and told you to text or call Namjoon when you finished. The vehicle pulled up and you quickly climbed into the back of the car. Namjoon was nowhere to be seen and you sat in the back of the van trying to hold yourself together, squeezing your hands.

Once you arrived in the parking garage you took your time getting to the elevator and made the long and painfully slow journey to the apartment. Your leg shook and you weren’t sure how much longer you could hold yourself up with just the cane.

But you pushed until you arrived at the apartment door. You knocked, hearing some shuffling from inside, and then there he was on the other side of the door. You hugged him around the middle, letting your legs give out from underneath you. Both legs felt weak; one from the previous injury and the other from trying to support all the weight off of the first.

Namjoon caught you before you fell, hearing the broken sob against his abdomen and how you all but screamed into his sweater out of frustration. Scooping you up he could feel the way your legs were shaking even though they hung limply over his arm. He was careful not to hit you against any walls as he walked you to his room. He shut off the lights, climbed onto the bed and laid you down on the covers, laying behind you and wrapping his arms around you.

“We don’t need to talk. When we talk we tend to argue, so let’s just lay here okay? Let me be here for you.” His words were sweet, his body supported your’s as it curled up wracked with sobs. He lifted your arm, slipping something soft against your chest and when you blinked back the tears you saw Koya. You hugged the stuffed Koala tight and cried yourself to sleep.


	56. 02/06/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am still posting I think we might post weekly I know I am going back and back but I promise it is worth it... I forgot to post this chapter though so sorry about the long wait.

The next morning brought with it a new determination. Namjoon took you to your appointment and he awkwardly walked in with you. You didn’t mention anything,, letting him explore this foreign area of your life. 

He seemed almost disbelieving how these little things, like steps and a balance beam, were so hard for you to do. 

You pushed yourself, not wanting to appear weak after seeing the look in his eyes, the pity they held. You moved faster and worked harder to prove him wrong, but his expression never changed. 

Why was it such a constant battle? Every time you thought you had come to terms with where you were at, you felt some sort of closure, something else brought it all back. Why were things so repetitive and trying to bring you down?

~

“You look exhausted, how was your training?” Doctor Lee said, getting up to fetch you a cold glass of water “You must remember to stay hydrated and rest when your body needs it”

“I might have pushed a little too hard?” The sheepishness was evident in your mannerisms. Waiting for her to scold and reprimand you for doing so.

“Sometimes it is good to push yourself, otherwise, how can you improve? But you must always on your limits. If taking fifty steps is comfortable and sixty leaves you crippling in pain, then I think fifty five is a good limit, don’t you?” She smiled, noticing your disbelieving eyes “I think it is good that you are showing so much enthusiasm and dedication to your recovery.”

There was a moment of silence before she laughed heartily “What seems to be the problem, are you shocked that I am encouraging you?” You nodded slowly, biting your bottom lip. Yes. Yes you were. “What is on your mind? You look like you are thinking too hard.”

“Why am I constantly circling?” Her eyebrow raised at this strange phrase, curious as to what you were trying to ask. “It’s like every time I think; ‘I can do it’, ‘I don’t care what others think’ and ‘I will get there eventually if I just pace myself’ the next day I am kicking myself for not being able to do what everyone else can. Then all I can think is ‘They are pitying you’, ‘You aren’t doing enough’ and ‘Why can’t I walk yet? will I ever walk?’. It’s frustrating”

“Frustrating and yet so very human, things that many of us face. There are some issues and problems we all face that can be solved like, your sense of self worth, you have learned to put yourself before others. On the other side, there are problems and issues we face that spiral down. Not to say they can never be solved.” She sighed carding her hand through her hair. “Imagine being caught in a whirlpool and you are spiraling to the bottom, you can swim out, that is always an option, but sometimes, just as we are feeling like we are out, we stop or get tired of fighting and we get pulled back down. They can be lifelong scars and traumas we carry with us.”

“I think that even if you carry it for the rest of your life, you don’t feel this way all the time, it is normal to feel emotions. Some days you are happy and others you are sad. We can’t be happy all the time or how would we express our sadness, anger and fear?” Doctor Lee hummed tapping her fingers against her knee in thought. 

When she seemed to find her answer she returned her gaze to you. “Emotions are like Yin and Yang or a scale. It is best when you balance the good with the bad. Not all good is happy and not all bad is sad.”

“Regression to the mean” You whispered and she smiled

“Everything can’t be bad forever nor can it be forever good, that’s a really good example” Doctor Lee watched you drink from the glass and concluded the topic with a final statement. “Though not all problems can be solved, we learn to cope with them as opposed to working to erase them”

~

Pat-Pat-Click. Pat-Pat-Click. Your foot falls were almost silent and stealthy, only giving way for the distinct clack of the can on the marble flooring as you carried your toothbrush in your hand to the bathroom. The light was off, but when you stepped inside, searching for the light switch, you heard a sniffle and saw a figure curled up on the floor. Hooking your cane on the towel rack and leaving your toothbrush on the bench, you made the slow journey across the bathroom tiles.

Using the tub to sink to your knees on the floor, wincing at the tight stretching feeling in your thigh, you hadn’t exactly been kneeling since you had been shot. Maybe you would add it to the repertoire of stretches. You held your arms out to the shadowy figure and they hugged you, crying into your neck, letting some tiny hiccups escape as the tears dampened your shirt.

“Jimin, baby, you don’t have to talk about it, but if you want to tell me what is wrong, I will listen.” He didn’t speak, he just cried into your chest. You let him undisturbed, protecting him from the world while he was vulnerable.

~

Yoongi walks in, switching on the light, pausing when he sees you and Jimin sitting on the floor, the latter breathing softly as he has fallen asleep. He walks over and scoops up the younger man in his arms as best as he can and for someone so lazy and appearing weaker than the others, he moves him with ease.

You wondered if it was that Yoongi was truly stronger than he let on or if Jimin was so light that anyone could pick him up without any strain. Taehyung stepped into the bathroom and held out his hand, helping you up off the floor and your legs had gone asleep from sitting on them for so long.

He noticed and lifted you, carrying you to the bench where he sat you down so you could brush your teeth. He watched you reach across the sink for the toothpaste and took your toothbrush from you. “Jimin has some troubles. Please, don’t let it change your opinion of him.”

“I don’t think my opinion of him could ever change, he is too sweet” Taehyung smiled softly and put a small amount of toothpaste onto the bristles.

“I am glad” He turned to you, taking your chin in his hand “say ahh?”

You froze, watching him and letting your mouth fall open without the sound. He grinned, taking the time to brush your teeth, diligently, telling you all about Jimin’s fight against his body image and explaining that they try so hard to help him and when they think everything is alright, he falls again and they have to help him back up.

“It isn’t easy and sometimes it is tiring, but we love him and he is worth it every time” He sighed “We just want him to be happy and healthy, I wish he could see himself from our perspective”

Thoughts drifted back to the words your psychiatrist said and suddenly you felt a deeper connection and understanding with Jimin, you knew what he was going through and how helpless he might feel falling back into the spiral. 

Your eyes flickered to Yoongi’s as he stood in the doorway; you weren’t sure how long he had been there with his jaw slack. While you were distracted, you felt toothpaste fall from the corner of your lips, only to be swept away by Taehyung’s thumb. He pulled back with a huge square grin. “This is the only time I will ever ask you this, but I need you to spit”

You choked the toothpaste, burning your lungs as you washed your mouth out with a cup of water. Yoongi was silently laughing at your expression, before letting out a content sigh. “Are you two all clean now? I want to shower.”

“I think so?” You said, starting to wiggle your way off of the counter. Before you even made it to the edge, Taehyung grabbed your chin once more and kissed you. His breath was equally minty, making the kiss feel so clean and fresh. Kissing him was like stepping into a completely different world.

He just made you forget everything, he created this new world that had no fear, worries or evil. You wanted to kiss him forever; he brought back innocence and a purity you hadn’t experienced in many years.

“You shouldn’t kiss someone like that” You admitted “It gives me false hope that there might be something there between us. I still think you plan to kick me out when this is all over”

“I promise I will never leave you” He said, holding your face and you saw Yoongi nodding behind him.

“We don’t plan to let you escape that easily” He grinned. Taehyung helped you onto the tiles and the other boy gave him a quick look. He nodded, walking out to go find Jimin so he could cuddle with him.

“Hey” Yoongi caught your arm by the bathroom door “You know we really don’t plan on letting you go, right? At this point, the maknaes are all pretty attached to you and I know you told me to forget what you had said in the elevator last week, but…”

He brushed the loose strands of hair from your face, looking into your eyes, trying to decipher your emotions. “I haven’t stopped thinking about it and I want to hear you say the words. Hell, I want to say them so badly”

“You shouldn’t say it” You warned and he hummed deflating.

“Then I shall wait” he pecked your lips gently and stepped back slowly, closing the bathroom door, leaving you alone with your own thoughts in the hallway.


	57. 08/06/2020

That night you were sitting in the lounge alone, everyone had already gone to bed, and you were left without an assigned place to sleep. Deciding to get comfortable on the couch, you heard the faint pitter-patter of feet down the hallway with the fresh scent of clean, soft soap.

Yoongi leaned over the back of the couch and looked over. His damp hair produced a few little droplets that fell down onto your face. “Come on, sleeping beauty, stop faking, and come to bed.” 

You opened your eyes and huffed, he broke into a grin walking towards the hall, before stopping and beckoning you along. He watched you using your cane and started calling out to you like you were a racehorse. “It is a slow start from the couch, but number eight is slowly making her way around the first bend, ladies, and gentlemen. This is going to be a slow race, get your popcorn, and get comfortable. There is no chance of whiplash in this event.”

He moved further down the hall and grinned as the door on your left and right opened Jin and Hoseok stepping out, pretending to race in slow motion beside you. You were in fits of giggles. “Look at the form on number four, he truly is the horse among men.”

Jungkook opened his door and handed Yoongi a roll of toilet paper, which they unrolled to make a ribbon for the finish line. You were in stitches, your body on the verge of collapsing from the fierceness of your laughter. “Number one looks a little more like an Alpaca than a horse, but it isn’t against regulations.”

When you finally made it to the finish line, Hoseok and Jin were giggling and making exaggerated horse sounds. A sleepy Jimin and Taehyung poked their heads out from the bedroom, leaning heavily on the door frame and watching the scene with curious expressions.

“Alright horse race is over, it’s time for bed, you all need some rest” Everyone followed Namjoon’s orders seeing the fond smile on his face as he nodded to you as a form of goodnight. You walked into Yoongi’s bedroom, the scent manly, and the room darkened completely.

You watched him remove his shirt and pants, and he stood there in boxers as he looked over and paused, “I sleep like this.”

“That’s okay,” you said and sat on his bed and slid under the blanket and felt yourself sink into the mattress. Your muscles were tired and aching from your work out earlier that day. It reminded you of growing pains you would feel when you were a late teen, how you would lie awake for hours feeling odd.

Yoongi fell asleep quickly, and it seemed odd to see him actually sleeping, he always seemed tired but never sleeping in your mind. With his constant, soft breathing being a reminder of his presence, you found yourself comfortable and drifting off yourself.

~

Allan had to visit some men from the underground community. He followed trails of real and fake until he finally got access to a few files. It was strange that a foreigner had three files: medical, military, and education. According to her visa she’d only been in Korea for four months and planned to stay with her brother for a year while she found a job.

Her medical records said she had been shot, with details regarding the gunman and spending 13 hours in the back of a car bleeding to death.. She was now receiving physical and mental therapy because of it. He put that file away, not wanting to have to use this information at all. He opened her education file; and it seemed she received a fully paid scholarship to Korea's military academy to study to become a doctor or nurse he wasn’t sure yet.

The third file was the hardest one for him to receive, it contained her deeds during the lockdown and that she was going to receive a Civil Merit Medal. He smiled. She was a nice young lady who hadn't done anything wrong. He got to the last page and found that there was a small statement saying she wasn’t accountable for the murder of Mister N. Choi.

So she had killed a man during the lockdown. He frowned, looking at her passport picture and let out a hum she looked so young and naive that he couldn’t recognize your face. He had met you, and you looked completely different. The things you must have done whilst out in the fog.

~

The next morning, everyone was going about their day except Jimin, who had refused breakfast and hadn’t left his room. You trekked down to his bedroom door and gave it a quick knock. You saw him dancing in the middle of the room, which was bare for this very activity. Two dancers in one room, you believed they valued a little floor space. The stereo was playing music, and you hummed stepping closer to the sweaty figure, and he stopped his routine. 

“I am okay, really,” he sounded as if he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince you, and you touched his arm, “I promise.”

Traveling your hand down to his wrist and then to his hand, you intertwined your fingers and threw your cane onto the bed. “Dance with me, please.”

His eyes softened, and all of the sickness you saw in his face melted away to a beautiful bright smile. He took your hand, placing it onto his shoulder and took your waist. He moved you around the dance floor, and you stumbled. “Sorry, my leg is hard to lift,” You blushed embarrassed, he lifted you onto his feet and grinned.

“I miss dancing Jiminie; let’s dance like this forever,” You grinned and he hummed, brushing his lips against your collar bone and holding them there for a moment. 

“Y/n?” He whispered against your clavicle, you moved to meet his eyes, but he held you tight in his arms, “I love you, and I am sorry for the inconvenience.”

“What do you mean?” You paused trying to settle your racing heart as it beat heavy in time with his, and you felt his face warm your skin. “Why is that an inconvenience?”

“Because you like Hobi, he told me you two had kissed,” He said softly. “You even kissed Jin, Yoongi, and Jungkook. They are all better than me, so why would you want to love me?”

“I feel called out about kissing everyone, but did you forget I kissed you too, Jimin?” You breathed and tried again to look at his face, and he hugged you tighter, his hand holding your head to his shoulder. 

“Please don’t look at me. I am pathetic” His cold laugh was full of shame and anger, he was upset that he had revealed this to you.

You chewed on your lip the words there on your tongue, and you gripped his bicep tightly. “What if I told you I love you as well?”

“Don’t.” He sighed in an angry plea, “I don’t want you to say things out of pity.”

“Good because I am not saying it out of pity,” You kissed his jaw and whispered into his ear. “You are the first person I cuddled with, the one I opened up to the quickest, you are handsome and manly and cute and oh so charming. I love all of you boys so much, and if I wasn’t a nobody and it was possible, I would be with all of you and show you love every day.”

He pulled back his eyes glassy, staring into yours searching for the joking glint within them, but finding no such thing. The swaying of your dance stopped, and he asked you if you meant it. “Yes, I love you all, but please don’t tell the others. I can’t admit it. Remember, you are a world-famous celebrity, and I am a nobody.”

“Y/n-”

“Jimin, please promise me?” You pleaded, “Nobody wants to hear that I’m madly in love with you and your entire group.”

He smirked, “What if it’s just me and Taehyung that hear it?” You froze, feeling hands wrap around you from behind and lips to your neck.

“I would love to hear you say it,” Taehyung whispered.


	58. chapter 57.1 08/06/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is smut.
> 
> Warnings: fingering, nipple sucking, almost oral (female receiving), a little degrading, voyeurism, group sexual activities, fingering (again), flavored lubes, spanking, sex toys, oral (female receiving again).

“I would love to hear you say it,” Taehyung whispered, his teeth grazing against the back of your neck, and his hands ran up between you and Jimin until they stopped under your breasts, and he whined, “Say it?”

“I love you, Taehyung.” For some reason, that fear you held at revealing your feelings eased when you said it to Jimin and Taehyung.

“Do you love us both?” Taehyung smiled, his thumbs running along the underside of your breasts. You heard the ‘yes’ before you even thought about answering him. “Do you want us both?”

“God, yes.” You whined, feeling both of their erections pressed against you. Taehyung ran his right hand down over your hip, gripping the flesh of your thigh and lifting your leg up, hooking it over his forearm, so Jimin could press himself against the heat radiating from your core. 

It was a mess of hands under fabric, which had caused both males to raise their eyebrows because not only were you wearing Yoongi’s sweatpants and shirt, you were wearing his boxer briefs as well. 

“You dirty girl, what would Yoongi think if you did such lewd things in his clothes. How will he react if he finds out you have soiled his underwear?” Jimin groaned equally at the thought.

Jimin didn’t bother lifting the thin white shirt you had taken from Yoongi’s wardrobe. The smell of their hyung, who would never let them defile him in this way, made the whole thing more exciting. Instead, he removed your bra skillfully from underneath and attached his lips to your nipple over the shirt. The soft fabric, growing wet, sticking to your breasts.

Jimin made sure to give both your nipples attention, one at a time in his mouth. Taehyung and Jimin would periodically claim your mouth with theirs, giving lewd kisses as they rutted their hips against you in time. You were out of breath, their stamina was impressive. Taehyung's thick fingers were working magic, curling forward to reach the most sensitive areas within you. 

The petal-pink lips were the gateway to the fires of his mouth. It was so hot, and you wondered what it would feel like to have his scorching tongue and lips between your legs. The thought, making your squirm on Taehyung’s fingers.

“You like the feel of Jimin’s mouth? You want his mouth here, don’t you?” Taehyung's voice came out as a deep growl, his fingers making the most elicit wet sounds between your legs. “He is good with his mouth, isn’t he baby?”

You didn’t answer, and he stilled his hand, “Answer the question, baby!” His voice is heavy with dominance before meeting Jimin’s cold gaze and flashing him a boxy grin.

“I want it, yes, it feels so good,” You mumbled.

You felt the pressure low in the depths of your core. It was a fullness,so intense your legs locked up. Taehyung's hand was pulled firmly from between your legs, Jimin had a firm grip around Taehyung's wrist, bringing it up to his face, licking and sucking his fellow 95’ers fingers.

He sank to his knees, and grinned up at you pulling the pants and underwear you had borrowed to your ankles. Taehyung sat you on his lap on the edge of the bed, pulling your legs over his so you were almost doing the splits. 

Just as Jimin had started, he was interrupted by the bedroom door opening, “give me a second you definitely lent it to me Wednesday. I will ask Jimin if he has seen i—”

“What do we have here?” Yoongi asked the sight of your exposed legs spread leaning against Taehyung’s chest as Jimin knelt before you ready to devour you entirely. The two young men turned to face their hyungs, and you used your hands to pull down the front of the white shirt you were wearing to cover yourself. 

“What do you think you boys are doing in my room?” Hoseok accused them, and they had lowered their heads almost ashamed for their actions. 

“It’s my room too, hyung.” Jimin said, pouting, and Hoseok raised an eyebrow. 

“What was that?” He walked over until he was face to face with Jimin, the younger man cowering in front of him. 

“Nothing,” Jimin’s voice was so small, “sir.”

“Lay down,” Hoseok sighed, almost disappointed you watched as not one, but both of the young men removed their shirts and pants until they were only in boxer briefs. Each lowering themselves onto their stomachs, arms tucked underneath their chest. 

“Y/n?” Yoongi said, taking off his slippers and hoodie, leaving him in a basic tee and his dark lounge pants. “Did Hoseok give you an order, or would you rather not be a part of this. We need your consent.”

You grinned watching Hoseok join Yoongi in only his baggy street pants, his lean chest the color of soft caramel. The only thing you were wearing was Yoongi’s shirt, which had wet patches on the breasts. You stood there shirt pulled down to cover your privates, contemplating letting this happen. Weighing the pros, and the cons and it seemed the only con you could think of was your fear, fear of being rejected. 

“You got my consent,” whipping the shirt off. You were completely naked, lying on the ground between the two and mimicking their position. Your heart was racing, but you just did it, you weren’t sure how you did it, it almost felt like you had blacked out. 

Jimin’s giggle brought you back to reality, he enjoyed your bold reaction and rewarded you with a kiss. “Oi, hands to yourself. That’s your second warning.” Yoongi hissed.

~

You, who was already hot from the previous activities, had Yoongi’s fingers pressed inside you curling and pressing heavily against your most sensitive areas. He was moaning, seated on Taehyung’s thighs, straddling them while rutting against him. They had each made sure on multiple occasions to check that everything was okay before they tried anything.

Hoseok was knelt behind the three of you, his knee between Jimin’s thighs rocking the younger man against it. His hands were busy digging through a box he had pulled out from the walk-in closet. He removed a few dark bottles and placed them in front of you all, “alright, three flavors for three naughty little whores.”

“I think our sweet girl can have the maple syrup,” Yoongi smirked, placing the bottle in front of your face. “Jiminie can have the Candy apple, and Taehyungie can have the Strawberry.”

“We are going to have a lot of fun,” Hoseok picked up the bottle which had been placed in front of your face. Hearing him open it, you didn’t have to wait long before the cool liquid poured onto the small of your back.

“Don’t move, princess,” He warned you, and you held still as it warmed into a small pool. Yoongi gingerly removes his fingers from your pussy. His fingers brushing upwards until they were dipping in the now warm puddle on your lower back. He would scoop a small amount of the slippery liquid and let his coated fingers plunge back into your depths.

“Is she ready?” Hoseok asked, placing something hard and cool on your back. Moving it around in the lube, you tried to look over your shoulder only to receive a look from Hoseok, who waggled his finger and tsked. “I am going to spank you Jagiya, is that okay?”

“Yes,” You were more confident to reply now, knowing that if you sounded even a fraction hesitant, they would hesitate as well. Asking you a few more times to truly be sure you were okay and knew it was all your choice. They would stop at any time that the play became too much. You felt a gentle spank to your ass; he was testing the waters. “Is that all you got?”

The four males in your presence collectively moaned in response. Taehyung’s hand snuck across the floor, grabbing you firmly by your chin, he turned your face to his and gave you a heated kiss. 

Taehyung’s hair was pulled by Yoongi, and you looked at them, biting your lip. “Next time kitten, I will be more strict on you, but for now, because this is new, I won’t punish you.”

Hoseok asked you seriously if he could use the toy he had placed on your back. You couldn’t agree fast enough.

Ready to cry when you were brought to yet another almost orgasm, this went on for about twenty grueling minutes. The three of you on the floor pleading for release each of you squirming. Yoongi must have taken pity on you, lifting you by the hips and tasting the sweetness of your dripping pussy with your permission.


	59. 22/06/2020

Allan heard his son come home from the park and he was talking to someone, their accent strange. He closed up the folders he had been searching through and stepped out to see who had paid them a visit. “Hey Mal-chin, who is your friend?”

“Oh Dad, this is Y/n, she is the one who carried me to the hospital when I was sick,” his son smiled and he felt his heart drop, this was the person his son looked up to. 

Allan was torn. He could either crush his son’s hero, crushing his dreams, or he could let this young woman be a positive influence on his son but force him to give up his dreams for university. Either way, his son would be hurt. 

“Ah, how about I make some drinks and some snacks,” he gave a fake smile, “and you can tell me all about what happened?”

“I can help” you smiled, following him into the kitchen and helping prepare the drinks while he plates up some snacks. 

You all sat down as you began retelling the story, “I couldn’t slow down or stop. My arms felt like they were going to drop off but I got there just in time, any later and he might not have made it.”

“The surgeon said they got him just in time. I remember sitting beside his bed waiting, and when he woke I reassured him as best as I could. I was still new to Korean and he was so patient with me even if for the first part he was confused about what I was saying” you smiled.

“She is really cool, and said she knows Bangtan Sonyeondan, and she got shot in the leg,” Mal-chin gushed, “She is so tough.”

“That must have been difficult?”

“It was harder when I didn’t have a choice but, eventually, when I joined the clinic I had the freedom to do whatever I wished and it happened. I really wanted to help others.” 

“You are friends with that popular band, are they nice?”

“Of course, they are gentlemen, I was in the BigHit building with my brother and his girlfriend, Areum, and we all hung out together watching Korean dramas and dancing.”

“I used to love dancing but when I got shot I lost a lot of muscle in my dominant leg, so I don’t know if I will ever be able to do that again. It is probably the hardest thing to accept and I haven’t accepted it yet but it’s still early. I will work up until the day I cannot improve further. I will make it work.”

“Ah, I should get going. I am supposed to be getting ready for dinner tonight,” you smiled, picking up your coat and pausing, “Oh that reminds me, I got you this for when you become a doctor, okay kiddo?”

You handed him a small thin box which he opened to reveal a stethoscope, “I want you to work hard and maybe one day we can work together. I will teach you everything I know until you surpass me. How does that sound?”

“Okay!” He grinned and you walked out of the house. You texted Jimin before heading down the street to the therapy office. Jimin was already waiting for you when you arrived, ready to drive you back to their apartment. Parking in the garage, he ran around the car opening your passenger door and holding out his hand. 

“My lady?”

“Oh Jimin, you are so fancy today” you kissed his cheek as you exited the car. He giggled, shutting and locking the car, walking hand in hand to the elevator where he pressed kisses on your face and neck. 

~

You grinned, stepping into the apartment and heading for Hoseok and Jimin’s room. You got changed and tried to do something with your hair and face. You wore one of the few matching sets of undergarments Namjoon had accidentally thrown into your bag before carrying your concussed form to this apartment. You slipped on a dress before stepping out into the lounge room. 

“Do you boys want to go out for dinner?” You looked at them, stepping out dressed in one of the dresses Namjoon had packed. It was a navy blue and you felt a little plain without all your hair and make up items. 

The converse high-tops didn’t really help the look but with the way the boys were looking at you, you thought it couldn’t look so bad. Jungkook began singing something about converse and you shrugged it off. 

“I owe you anyway for everything you have done and for the inconvenience of a scandal.” 

“While we get dressed you have to go fetch Yoongi and Namjoon. They are in the studio and office,” Seokjin waves down the hall before practically skipping off to get dressed. The prospect of food brightened his disposition significantly. 

Walking down the hall, you rang the doorbell on the studio door. It opened to a blank looking Yoongi, who poked his head out the door. 

“Uh, we are all going out for dinner. Do you want to come along?”

“Sure, I’ll grab my coat and put some pants on,” your eyes widened and he laughed, “I am not doing anything weird, I just get comfortable when I am trying to compose songs.”

“No I get it, pants really restrict the creative process,” you laughed and he broke into a gummy smile, “I should go ask Namjoon.”

You ran off, heart aching from the sight of a soft smiling Yoongi, and headed to the wolf’s den. Knocking on the door, you heard him call back before you entered.

“Hey Namjoon, we are going to have dinner at a restaurant. You know I promised,” you held up your pinky and he sighed. 

“We shouldn’t be going. We just had one scandal and the company is asking us not to create anymore,” he stood up a little furious, “They are willing to revisit our contracts. If something goes wrong instead then we might just be disbanded. Do they understand what’s at stake? Do you?”

“Seokjin reserved a small restaurant for us, so I assumed there wouldn’t be anyone there but us?” You argued, trying to get Namjoon to stop following orders for once and just have fun. 

“Photographers can still turn up unannounced; it is not something you will wish to gamble on.”

“Okay well, are you finished yelling at me? Do you want to come to dinner or not?”


	60. 02/07/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took so long I was working on somethings. Thank you for your patience with me.

“No, I am going to stay here,” he turned his back to you and sat down once more at his desk. “I can’t believe I sided with the boys on keeping you around.” You stomped out of the office and rounded up the rest of the band members heading to the restaurant via the big van. 

You tried not to dwell on the feeling in your chest, the rejection that made you want to spiral down again. Trying to ignore Namjoon’s harsh words, he really had to learn to think before he spoke. 

Jungkook, who sat beside you in the back, was looking straight ahead, his face tense and slightly pink. Yoongi was sitting sideways in his seat talking about fishing with Seokjin and noticed your feet tapping to a song on the radio and laughed. 

Singing quietly about how he hated converse and you frowned, pulling your feet back offended, and Hoseok and Jimin pointed laughing, reenacting your face. 

“We made a song called converse high and Yoongi raps about how he hates converse because he thinks they take too long to get them off of a girl,” Seokjin laughed, you giggled wiggling your cute sparkly blue converse hightops and gave a coy smile. 

“So just don’t take them off,” the van stopped at the restaurant, and they all turned, their cheeks red, and you blushed in response to their stares. “I’m just saying if you want to be with a girl, don’t let her shoes stop you, unless they are really dirty, but look, mine are so pretty and clean, and the blue sparkles are cute, no?”

“Gwiyeom,” Taehyung grinned, licking his lips, and Jungkook shifted confused. You had arrived, and each of you stepped out of the van. It seemed the van drew a bit of attention as some people looked, and pointed as you walked briskly into the restaurant, a few individuals took pictures. 

Your thoughts drifted to Namjoon, who wasn’t present, and you wondered if you should bring something back for him. Maybe they delivered, and you can have them deliver him something to eat. 

You were sitting in a private room. The whole restaurant was supposed to be closed, but it wasn’t, only the event hall. There was a gathering crowd of people coming in to have dinner. Each clearly there for the spotted celebrities and not because they heard there was a particularly good chef’s special.

You were each having a good time eating and chatting. But the noise outside was making quite the commotion, and it started to make the boys nervous. The internet was filled with #Bangtan_Restaurant, and it seemed the pictures of you with the boys had spread like wildfire as well. 

Maybe Namjoon was right, and you should have waited, he said that the board of directors specifically asked them not to create another scandal while they were revisiting the contracts. You sighed and looked at the boys taking a deep breath. The meal was good, but you all started to feel sick with dread. You looked at the back window and sighed, looking out, you could probably escape out there with them.

~

Namjoon received a call from one of the crabby old men from the board of directors, he listened to him prattle on about the social media news and trending tags. How a man of his age knew how to work a social media platform and knew what a hashtag was, was beyond Namjoon. 

He told him he would fix it and called for a cab to the restaurant. He was worried about what might happen to the boys without any security. It was a truly reckless move. Why hadn’t you listened to his warning?

He is on the phone to security, telling them to send some bodyguards to the restaurant to clear him a way in and out. He was going to have words with you when you got back. Tomorrow, your brother would return, so it was straight back to the way things were before you were staying at the apartment.

~

Allan and his son were sitting in the restaurant and had noticed the commotion, it seemed that you and those band boys were all here having dinner. He was quick to ready his camera so as not to miss any opportune moments.

That was the thing about being paparazzi, you had to know what was a good shot or not, you had to read someone’s actions before they knew it themselves. Allan stood up and moved to the toilet with his son inside the restaurant when a familiar head popped out of the event hall.

“Ah mister Fire department, can you help us?” Jimin smiled softly

“Uh, of course,” he said and slipped into the room with his son, “what exactly do you need help with?” 

Security guards began showing up and started creating barriers trying to let civilians out of the restaurant without being mobbed. 

The security said they would take you out one at a time, starting with you. You stepped out, and the crowd went silent staring at you with your cane, and you took about three steps before they tried to close in, they stole your cane, and you fell resulting in a few girls stomping on you. 

Someone’s foot slammed down onto the wound on your thigh, and your vision went white as you let out a blood curt long scream. The crowd froze in fear of what had happened, sure they wanted to maim you, but they weren’t ready for the response they got. 

Someone dragged you back inside while the crowd fought, some shouting that ‘you should die’ while the others were calling you the ‘Bangtan Angel’. 

~

Mal-chin grabbed his father’s arm and demanded he help you, he nodded to his son running out and retrieving you from the crowd of crazy fangirls and pulled you inside as quickly as he could. He saw the pained expression on your face as you clutched your thigh. 

Allan could empathise with you there, he knew what it felt like to be trampled by fangirls. Being a foreigner himself, he knew how hard it was to fit in the crowd. 

He was unable to help snap a picture on his phone stealthily. He couldn’t risk using his camera here, it would blow his cover and they would just smash it. 

Mal-Chin looked at his dad with such an admirable expression, and he felt guilty that it felt nice to have his son be proud of him. 

Usually, he said his dad was an evil man snooping in on other people’s lives, but at this moment, showed how he was capable of doing good, a sentiment he hadn’t thought of in a long time. 

~

It was when you heard a bunch of squealing girls chanting Kim Namjoon that you started to get worried. Turning, he raised his hands and flicked them either side with a glare, and the crowd parted with ease. 

His eyes fell on you as you hurriedly wiped the tears from your cheeks, and he snatched the cane from one girl in the crowd. 

“This girl saved Jungkook’s life, and this is how you repay her,” he growled and continued walking toward you, his eyes locking on yours. 

Who knows if they will have a job tomorrow or not, but he walked in the doors shutting behind him, curtains closing, and he apologised and thanked the store manager for his cooperation. His eyes never leaving your form, his jaw clenched. 

“Namjoon,” your voice cracked as his long legs cut through the distance like a pair of scissors. He grabbed you by the face and kissed you hard. 

Throwing caution to the wind, he just wanted to kiss you, wanted to know you were okay. That scream had chilled him to the core, and the thought that you had gotten hurt scared him more than the board of directors. 

Namjoon was a good kisser, he held a lot of control, how fast, how deep. He knew what he wanted, and he took it, when he pulled back it was with a frown. And you had to physically stop yourself from chasing his lips. “I am sorry I should have asked if that was okay, was it okay?”

“It was unexpected,” you breathed trying to not appear like a hot mess, “but it wasn’t bad.”

Namjoons kiss was addictive, and it clouded your mind. It was like there were only two moments in your life. 

Moments kissing Namjoon and moments waiting for it to happen. 


	61. 14/07/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am still here still writing, I am just trying to write some more chapters so I stay ahead of the story so I can post better. I am here for you during the quarantine. This chapter brings up just briefly but will be explored more. the idea that people can be born in your country but have physical features that you would assume they are a foreigner. Basically treating people equally. I will go further into this issue and more as we progress.

The group led by Namjoon headed back to the car escorted by the security and the flares of Namjoon. Once in the van Namjoon pulls you to sit beside him in the very back. He doesn’t speak to you just sits beside you messaging on his phone one leg crossed over the other. 

Lonely once more, you watched the city brush the windows, the street lights illuminating the vehicle momentarily. And you would catch their eyes on you in the dark. 

Genuinely surprised when you arrived inside Hannam the hill, you were sure he was taking you back to your brother's apartment. 

In the parking garage, everyone exited the vehicle silently and in single file except Namjoon who didn’t budge. So you sat there waiting for him to say the words to tell you he was disappointed in you. 

You felt like perhaps you could offer him a few valuable internal organs to make up for the trouble. 

It was when you went to speak that he turned to you effectively killing any words planning to escape your mouth. “Show me your leg?” He hummed taking the hem of your dress and sliding it a short way up your thigh to see the rapidly blooming flower petals across your smooth skin. 

Each petal a new shade of blues and purples he thought if you were a flower you would be lavender. He gently laid his palm on the bruise and looked up into your eyes. “I don’t want you to ever scare me like that again.”

He leaned forward stealing another kiss, hands getting lost in your hair. You felt like a weight had been taken off your chest like for some reason the idea of Namjoon not like you had been weighing you down like a rock tied to your ankles and you were on the bottom of the ocean.

It just seemed impossible to be truly happy with the boys -some of whom you had already confessed to and others who had confessed to you- if Namjoon was against you being around. Your hands gripped his jacket desperate for him to love you but knowing it was wrong to ask that of him when you two barely liked each other. 

Sure you had an attraction between you and when you had been close in the BigHit building you both enjoyed each other’s company greatly enough for a budding romance to begin but when his personality shifted because of management and his contracts you two were driven apart. The attraction and longing had been burning stronger every day and finally the relief that spread through you when he touched you when his lips skimmed yours. It was indescribable. 

~

Allan sat in his car beside his son, driving back to their house. He was trying not to speak or do anything that might reveal what he had done. Pulling into the garage shutting the automatic door behind them shrouding them in darkness. Allan hung his head over the steering wheel and let out a long sigh. 

“What is it, dad?” Mal-Chin asked and he looked over and gave him a small smile. 

“It is nothing Buddy, I am just trying to think through some things. Your dad is just tired,” he patted his son's hair and told him to go inside and get ready for bed. Mal-Chin nodded getting out of the car and heading inside. Allan reached to the lapel of his suit and removed the small camera disguised as a regular pin and frowned.

~

Finally, back in the apartment, you felt relief, you felt safe you showed this by bursting into tears. Namjoon scooped you up so your chests were pressed together and he held your thighs in each hand being delicate so as to not injure your bruised leg any further. 

He sat on the couch with you straddling his waist and held your head to his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” you cried “I’m sorry, I’m sorr-”

Namjoon shushed you, holding you against him securely, he had dealt with this before, with a few members. Seokjin drapes a heavy blanket over the two of you and Yoongi played soft unnamed piano pieces on the stereo. 

The boys sat around waiting for this to pass when the song shuffled to the next and they laughed singing. 

Don’t wanna be fool wanna be cool

Wanna be loved same love as you

“Baby I want it.” Jungkook sang out the last note and you had turned on Namjoons lap you head tucked under his chin, you enjoyed listening to the vibrations in his chest as he rapped. The quiet tender moment had to be ruined by the sharp ringing of Namjoon’s phone, he sighed, lifting you off of his lap and placing you into Seokjin’s arms. 

Watching Namjoon go until he could no longer be seen, Seokjin turned your head to face him and gave you a soft look. 

“You should find me more comfortable. I have more space right here to lay on and if you listen you can hear my heart beating just for you on your right you get this lovely handsome view.” 

“Hmm, I like the view but do you come with a pool?” You mumbled and he laughed happily. 

But when the laughter died down all heads and eyes turned to the hall wondering what was being said. 

~

“There are rumors and photos across every social media platform right now and we want to know why?” Bang Si-Hyuk asked with a disappointed sigh. Namjoon felt guilty he should have stopped you, it is all his fault. “Why is it when I ask you to stay out of trouble, the next day you are all over the web doing something I specifically warned you about.” 

“I am sorry we weren’t thinking. We forgot for a moment that we were idols. We just wanted one night out,” Namjoon knew his voice sounded pitiful but he couldn’t hide it, he was feeling pretty pitiful.

“Look just come in tomorrow and we will discuss this properly, you know I am not hard on you cause I want to be. There is no point in crying over spilled milk. Just bring everyone including the girl to the company and we will hold a meeting,” Namjoon listened to his boss explain.

“I understand,” Namjoon spoke softly. The phone line went dead and he sighed, dropping the device on his bed and backing away from it until his back hit the wall. Signifying how he had nowhere to go. He had made his decisions and he had to face the consequences. He couldn’t spend his life switching to whatever seemed like the better option. Life was full of uncertainties he didn’t get the luxury of knowing and picking the winning team. He had to make his decision and deal with the consequences, just like everyone else. You couldn’t win at everything and you couldn’t please everyone.

Namjoon knew it stemmed from the fact he got so many hate messages and the fact he wasn’t accepted into the hip-hop or the idol world. He never learned how to settle, he never learned how to pick one side. He just wanted people to like him for who he was, so now he had to choose who could do that. Who could love him for him, the company who shaped him helped him grow to the person he is today, or you who literally saw him at his best and worst and still wanted to be a part of his life.


	62. 20/07/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a fun chapter while things get serious.

You woke the next morning sleeping in Hoseok and Jimin’s bedroom; the two had pushed their beds together, so the three of you could cuddle. Namjoon woke everyone early telling them they had a meeting with the board of directors. Sitting up slowly, your body was heavy with sleep. Rubbing your eyes in an effort to bring the world into focus once more. 

“Come on sweetheart time to get up?” Hoseok smiled and whipped the blanket off you; it wasn’t long before a tall figure snuck into the room and crawled into the bed beside you. 

“Ya, Don’t hide with her, She has to get up too. We are all going to the meeting,” Namjoon growled, you thought it best to get up; after the trouble, you caused the night before you would listen to whatever they said and hopefully you wouldn’t ruin things again.

So dressed in one of your pretty going out dresses, you followed the boys to the garage and stepped into the starex van. Sat between Jungkook and Seokjin who were playfully bantering, Jungkook called the older member a grandpa and laughed heartily in response.

It was a half an hour drive to the company and you were all enjoying each other company, talking about your schedules for the day. Jungkook occasionally slapping Seokjin on the neck, only for him to return the smack to the maknae. “On the way home, I am not sitting between you two” you scoffed

The van pulled into the underground parking and the group exited the vehicle going to the elevator. It was a roomy elevator even with all eight of you inside. The elevator rose up to one of the highest floors. It was a slow ride Hoseok and Jimin were dancing some new choreography and Jungkook chimed in about certain aspects in the choreography that he thought would be difficult for those not in the dance line. 

Yoongi stepped forward doing the dance as best he could remember hitting most of the moves. “Oooh, B-Boy Suga!” Hoseok cheered him on. Soon the whole elevator was dancing and you smiled going to join in when the cane in your hand seemed to grow heavy as if made of lead. 

The elevator pinged and the group exited slowly into the reception of the top floor, it was pristine. The marble floors and indoor plants. The whole office was a modern theme with abstract art on the walls and strange sculptures and water features. The reception desk was a curved shape, behind which was a small minibar filled with water and other mini beverages. 

The receptionist was a young woman with a tight bun and equally tight pencil skirt. There were no clear indications of her age, she looked practically timeless. Standing and walking around the desk with a professional smile she greeted the boys with a small bow of her head and they replied with a slightly deeper bow out of respect for her position or age. You weren’t sure but you followed their lead bowing a fraction lower just to be safe.

She held her hand out to the corridor before turning and walking ahead guiding the group into the furthest meeting room. Upon entering you were met with the familiar face of Mister Lee, who you hadn’t seen since escorting him through the fog to the hospital during the lockdown.

Everyone bowed and you sat down watching as they followed almost relieved, you looked at the boys nervous that you had done something wrong sitting first, but they had gestured for you to sit. Namjoon smiled at you reassuringly. 

“You seem tense,” an older gentleman asked; he sat to Bang PD’s left and had a swept comb over and round glasses, on closer inspection they all were quite similar yet unique gentlemen. “Would you like something to drink?”

“If I may, Could I interest anyone else in a drink while I am up?” You smiled standing and walking over to the small minibar you took note of the amount of yes’ and grinned taking the small silver tray and placing the bottles on top and carrying them over placing a bottle in front of each person “I must apologize that I didn’t think to memorize your names before, I recognize Mister Lee and from what I have heard Mister Bang.”

“Good Morning… Sir?” You were unsure what to call him and you bowed your head in respect and he smiled, shaking your hand after you placed the water in front of him.

“Good morning, Miss Y/n,” Bang Si-Hyuk the CEO of BigHit looked like a normal person. It was almost surprising how he looked but there was still a barrier around him built on respect that made him seem almost untouchable.

“Ah, yes. I am Lenzo Yoon, a pleasure to meet you,” Lenzo grinned, holding out his hand, you took it shaking firmly lowering your head. “To my left is Mister Jiwon Park”

You smiled and shook the man’s hand dipping your head. He had a deep comb-over and round glasses. A polite exchange of ‘how are you?’ and you turned to the man you remember well. You placed the water bottle in front of him. You had started with Bang PD and worked your way down the table politely hoping not to break the hierarchy. “Mister Lee we meet again. Did you buy a new car recently?”

“I did in fact,” he smiled as you placed the tray down and opened his water for him. “Thank you again for what you did?’

“I am curious, are you looking for a chauffeur?” You joked and he laughed, “because I am available.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you, mister?” This man had his hair pristinely combed and his eyes beady, he looked like he envied the other men in the room and he hated the sight of you.

“Dong Mi-Kwan,” he said bluntly, no handshake, not even a polite nod. You gave him his water bottle and went around to the boys and handed out their drinks. Before sitting with your own. 

“So there have been some rumors traveling around the social media platforms about you boys taking interest in a certain young lady, which I assume would be yourself.”

“Yes sir,” you nodded 

“Miss y/n we are heading into uncharted territory, the idea of the boys having female friends could make or break their success. The boys are supposed to appear available to show devotion to their fans.” Mister Bang sighed, drinking water slowly. “I have nothing against you being friends but I think if you stay out of the limelight for a week or two long enough for us to come up with a decision on the matter, we can give you a definite answer on the types of meetings you can have.”

“Of course Sir, we will try to stay out of the limelight,” Namjoon said politely the boys all agreed to keep out of trouble. 

“Luckily it is only a few rough photos and a few civilians account on what they saw, if this had gotten out we would have been ruined,” Mister Park said.

You all laughed and began getting up to leave. “Would you like a job here at our company, it seems the meetings run smoother and things get done faster with a foreigner,” they grinned. 

“If ever you need me to progress a meeting call me,” you smiled politely and bowed before turning to leave with the boys.


	63. 08/08/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am going to get this finished and update more frequently now. I hope you will continue to enjoy and follow the story. I was having some trouble with beta schedules. But now I am planning to update every day again. because I love and miss you all and want to support you during this though time.

Since it is so early, you tell the boys you will slowly walk to your PT session. They assure you that it is no trouble but you wave them off. The stroll through the streets feels kind of nice, alone with nothing but the cool breeze and your thoughts. 

People dotting the junctions between sidewalks and buildings, coffee shops releasing aromatic roasts and blends that turn your head as if they are calling for you. The busy main street like the trunk of a tree each street, court, and avenue the branches spreading out into more quiet back roads. 

The urban life in this sense was kind of beautiful, it wasn’t hard to follow the flow of footsteps that moved about like birds in the sky or like a tide in the ocean. You welcomed it, something kind of reassuring of being surrounded in this moment made you feel safe. Watching masked figures in designer coats walking together. Stopping only for a plethora of brightly colored cars, which parted the flocks of people as if they were predatory felines in nature. 

It was interesting, you walked along the street and stopped looking at the large intersection waiting for the green pedestrian light.

Like a movie the memories played out in front of you, hazmat suited figures running. Seokjin struggled on the ground and the deafening gunshot that didn’t seem to startle any of the people except you. 

Once you arrive at the building, you sign in not long before doctor Han called for you to go into the therapy room. The equipment all had handlebars and most of the people who came here for therapy were officers who had been injured during active duty. The kind doctor took you through some stretches, casually asking about your weekend. You found it easier sometimes to talk to him instead of your psychiatrist doctor Lee. 

Perhaps it was because you knew she was looking for something, it took a lot of work for you to trust her. Han got you to play a game, the two of you gently kicking a softball around the room. You had a lot of fun but it tired you out quickly. Taken through some stretches it was so routine now that he didn’t speak because you knew the exact movies he was going to do next.

“Everything seems to have progressed well, these past few weeks, we have reached the first milestone and I would like to refer you for a CT so we can see the extent of the damage and how it is healing over time” Doctor Han smiled handing you a letter and patted your shoulder proudly. “I got you an appointment today if you are interested but only if you want to of course.”

“No, that is perfectly fine, I will go to the appointment, I too would like to see where my limits are” Collecting your coat and bag with a drink of water you had your walking stick in your bag but you like to wait until you were getting tired.

“Well here is the address and this is the time if you would like I can get someone to escort you?” He said putting the address into your phone and showing you on the map. 

“Funnily enough, I know this area like the back of my hand, I could navigate it blind one might say?” As you made the joke about navigating through the fog a part of you felt lighter for it. Like you were truly closing that chapter and perhaps it would be fine to talk about everything that happened. 

Shaking your head you told him that you would walk. It was symbolism you were healing moving on and every day the memories and pain grew less and less. As you walked you opened your cane and continued with the extra support. Each step through the clear clean streets was like unmasking the demons you thought you had and realizing they were only shadows.

The small clinic was dedicated to x-ray, CT, MRI, and Ultrasound technology, signing in at the desk you used the sanitizer as you did religiously upon entering a building and sat between an expecting mother and an elderly man.

It was a long process and while you waited you decided to ask the two on either side if they would like a cup of water. They both agreed, thanking you almost surprised that you were able to speak Korean. Taking your time you headed along to the small water cooler and grabbed two plastic cups and carried them back over to the two people you had been sitting with.

The old man was intrigued to know everything about your home and you were happy to tell them about everything you could. The pregnant woman soon began asking her own questions and the three of you got into a wonderful discussion about what makes a home.

“I mean I think that wherever I am happy and feel safe, that is home, to me?” you smiled, before you may have answered somewhere with a big kitchen and a dishwasher multiple rooms and ensuites. Now it was just that simple, wherever you were happy and wherever you felt safe was your home. The first image that came to mind wasn’t exactly a place but in their arms. 

Cuddling with Jimin for the first time after Taehyung had vomited on you. his plush lips gently pressed against your exposed neck as you slept. His dreams were filled with lazy mornings waking up beside you and hot nights worshipping your body. The way he nuzzled his nose into your hair. The way you rolled over you hugging his middle tightly. His sweet scent of citron, jasmine, and teal wood taking over your senses.

The night Taehyung had rescued you from your tears. How he didn’t hesitate to pull you close and wrap his arms around you. How you fit perfectly in his arms, and the way he would say your name in a soft tone hugging you desperately.

Seokjin took one of your hands and held you to his chest, you buried your face into his broad chest. The way he kept you grounded in one of the most terrifying situations of your life. How he sang to you, declaring his strength and asking you to depend on him within that moment.

You remember laying with Jungkook in his bed after a night of sneaking forbidden snacks. He felt comfortable and you liked to press yourself closer against him. His muscles which were so firm when he tensed were very soft to lay against while he was at rest. There was no tension in his figure but the thickness of his arms held you tight against him.

Hoseok was warm, so very warm, he would move in his sleep brushing his fingers along his arms gently tickling his skin in a way that soothed him. Sometimes his fingers would continue unbeknownst to him and travel up your side and cause your skin to prickle.

You could never forget the night Namjoon began finding himself, his true self. He whispered sweet words and cradled your body against him. He lifted your arm, slipping Koya the plush koala against your chest You hugged the soft toy tightly drifting off.

The oddity of seeing Yoongi sleep was coupled with the fact he seemed to seek you out like a cat finding a warm patch of sun. His arms wrapped around you and his long pale fingers slipped under your shirt splaying out against your skin. His fingers played against your stomach each digit moving to an unheard melody. He hummed burying his face between your shoulder blades.

Each moment held a special place in your heart, each moment was your home. You were called in for the scan. The technician was very kind.

“That is everything we will email the results to doctor Han and he will explain everything clearly about your progress and expectations” You nodded stepping from the building onto the pavement. Taking a deep breath of the fresh cool breeze you smiled before hastily pulling on your mask.

Before even getting the chance to take a step your phone began ringing, the number was private but you answered anyway a little cautious. 

“Hello?” You asked, waiting for the other person to declare who they were. So you could finish this call quickly. Something about this call and the private number didn’t sit right with you.

“Hello miss y/n, this is Mr. Dong.” His voice was serious. “I was wondering if you have finished with your scan if you would like to join me for coffee?”


	64. 10/08/2020

You looked around slightly alarmed before your eyes locked on Mr. Dong. There standing by his car with a phone to his ear was Mr. Dong. In an all-black business suit you couldn’t help but feel his dark personality bleeding through. 

He waved, a gesture one might associate with a friendly greeting, this was no more than beckoning a dog. You felt your nerves increase. He waved you over once more, you knew you couldn’t refuse. Chewing on your bottom lip, and nervously bowing your head in a formal greeting you disconnected the call. 

Pushing one foot in front of the other, approaching the inevitable situation. As you got closer you felt this pressure. He was powerful and he was trying to show you just how powerful he was. 

No words were exchanged; he just opened the back seat and motioned for you to climb inside. This is how people were murdered in movies, you were going against every natural instinct to sit in this enclosed vehicle with a man you barely knew. 

The driver took you both to a cafe near the BigHit building. It was a beautifully modern business and all the glasses were clear so you could see the barista’s magnificent work. 

The waitress came over her hair cut short the curls styled magnificently with a deep plum tint under the lights. It was a short back and sides look, with a fade, and a shaved line along the part. A very modern style. The waitress smiled but Mr. Dong looked a little skeptical.

“ _ I am sorry, I don’t speak English _ ?” He said in English your eyes widened and you met the girl's eyes with an apologetic look. You ordered completely in Korean and didn’t fail to mention how much you love her hairstyle and her glowing highlight.

“Ah... I order it online from America because Korea doesn’t exactly have an extensive range of shades, and especially not for darker skin like me” She smiled, being polite when the older gentleman opened his big fat mouth again. 

“Ah you are from America, How long have you been in Korean?” He asked her now speaking to her in Korean but adopting some slow gait as if she was a stupid foreigner.

“I have been here all my life sir, born here my father is Korean” Her polite smile was better described as a barely patient grit, you knew she had heard it all before.

“It must be hard having to explain it all the time, just because you don’t look like the typical Korean.” A dry laugh let you know just how bad it was. 

“The worst is that they always think I speak English but I really don’t” She sighed “I guess it is the same for Koreans born in English speaking countries”

“People really have this stigma no matter the country, don’t they?” looking through your bag for your business card. “Hey, if you ever want to hang out give me a call”

Finished with your orders, she dashed off to deliver the order to the barista behind the counter. 

This left you no choice but to turn back to the older gentleman at the table. Why was he trying to talk with you? What could he possibly say that he didn’t already in the meeting? You gave a polite smile intertwining your fingers and taking a business stance.

~

It was a long talk of pleasantries and you tried to seem clueless to what he was saying. It was when he slid an envelope across the table that you got offended. Should you slap him or throw water in his face? You were livid but hid it well, trying to play it cool. Looking inside the envelope saw an extensive amount of money. It was your phone ringing that pulled you from the shock of holding a fist full of money, you answered your phone. 

“Doctor Lee, I am running a bit late. I am just having coffee. I will be there very shortly. Okay, thank you.” You hung up and grinned, using your phone to record the proposition if not for your safety but to use against him.

“I will make you an offer of fifty million won. You take this.” He paused, “and you go back home where you belong?”

The grin you gave could rival any villain, you knew you had him. Easily taking the money and pocketing it. He was an idiot, no contract, and his clause had a series of flaws. Wondering what exactly you could do with this much money. 

Leaving the cafe immediately, You stepped out onto the sidewalk and headed to Doctor Lee Sejin’s office. It began with a small greeting quickly followed by a lovely in-depth conversation about the boy’s and how you finally accepted that this was your home anywhere they were, was your home. 

“Well I am going now, the boys will finish practice soon and I would like to be there when they are done. Plus I think Jin and I are going to watch a drama tonight”

“That is so sweet” She smiled. “You have grown so close and you have grown so much”

~

With your new pile of money, you wanted to buy things you didn’t need for the boys and yourself but decided against it. You smiled sitting on the couch in the lobby waiting for the boys to return from practice. 

Somewhat infamous around the building, there were people bowing at you as you sat casually. A few employees asked you about how you had been and some recent employees confusedly bowed and whispered to their superiors asking why you were so famous. 

A group of young boys sat in the waiting area with you. The young men were sitting on the opposite couch trying not to look at you and trying to act casual. 

“Ah y/n, How are you?” The voice was from one of your brother's choreography team, it seemed the whole team came over. 

“Your brother is gone again?” They frowned “we just want to continue dancing?” 

With a smile, you said “I can teach you today, head up and get ready, I will be there shortly”

The group cheered and headed back into the depths of the building and you hummed sending a text and folding up your van and hiding it in your bag. You moved trying to perfect a natural gait but it was taxing. 

You took the kids through some choreography and they put it together really well which made you proud but caused emotional as well as physical pain. 

They thanked you and left and you began playing black swan wanting to revisit the choreography you had made during the lockdown. 

You found the old camera and dimmed the lights not sure you wanted to face the harsh reality of a mirror. You danced but something was different you changed moves to accommodate the old injury some of the moves gave a good stretch of the muscle others gave a nasty ripping feeling. 


	65. 12/08/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter is smut you don't have to read it if you do not wish to. It doesn't progress the storyline only the relationship development and it is super metaphorical and up to your interpretation, you could say the reader is dreaming she is on the beach or that she is doing other things with ???????.

A text came in and you were quick to read it out loud “Hello it is Yeon-woo, but you can call me Wendy” you smiled, texting back slowly saying the words as you typed them, glad to make another friend. “Wendy, that’s such a cute name, How was work?”

Your only friend besides the boys, who you considered much more than friends was Areum. The only problem was Areum spent her time now with your brother. A spark of curiosity lit a small flame inside you as you selected your brother’s contact on the phone and called him. The dial tone rang out in your ear and eventually he answered. “My dear sister, to what do I owe the pleasure of hearing your voice?” Thomas sounded happy and you couldn’t help but smile.

“I was just wondering how everything was going?” You sat listening to his experiences in Areum’s hometown. 

“Well, they are all so amazing they all spoke to me teaching me how to take care of their farms and chickens and such. The food is great as well” He laughter turned into a soft content sigh and you knew he was in love with Areum “They keep asking when we are going to get married”

“And what did you say?” You teased

“I said I would marry her tomorrow if I could but I want to buy a house first” You looked at the money in the envelope and took a deep breath. “So if you get a house you two will get married?”

“Of course I love her, I am not silly to let a pretty girl like Areum walk away” He hummed in thought as you pressed him for what type of house he would look for, while your phone was on speaker you searched the internet on your phone for a house. 

He began describing a dream home, you searched until the pincode lock on the door sounded, and you told him you had to go and quickly hung up. Suga walked in first and flopped onto the floor beside you laying his head on your lap and looking at the house on your phone screen.

“Ooh are you buying a house?” Yoongi asked, looking up at you.

“You are buying a house where?” Jungkook asked and they crowded around to see and comment.

“Bit small, how will we all fit?” Hoseok bumped you with his arm as Namjoon looked at the house in question. 

“It isn’t worth that much I promise you” Namjoon began delving into the property market and the area and how much money per square meter. You listened to all their comments, Seokjin said it was an ugly house and Jimin said he would save up and buy you one that was better”

“It’s not for me guys, but thank you, Thomas said he wants to marry Areum but he won’t until he has a house for them both, and I happen to have some money. You threw the money on the coffee table and Jungkook opened it, his eyes widening in shock.

“How did you get this much?” Yoongi sat up intrigued. 

“Mister Dong tried to pay me out to leave you all alone? but the idiot doesn’t know anything about making a deal.” You played the audio clip to the room.

“I will make you an offer of fifty million won. You take this.” He paused, “and you go back home where you belong?”

His voice always made you feel gross, he was a shady guy. “Do you guys know what he did wrong?” You played the clip again. “He didn’t specify I couldn’t see you nor which home I should return to you. I told Doctor Lee today that I consider anywhere you boys are my home. If you say I belong here with you then I have fulfilled his unclear conditions for taking the money and I can buy my brother a house to get married” 

Your voice died and Namjoon said “All those in favour of Keeping Y/n and that she belongs with us” they all raised their hands and you blushed.

“Let’s find them a house?” Jimin grinned

You got into the states van and headed to Hanam where you all took up residence on the couch. 

“It has to have a few rooms for visitors and when they have babies” You grinned and Namjoon wiggled happily screen sharing his laptop to the tv and you all sat reviewing houses until you found the perfect one, it was a little over budget but all the boys said they would put in the left over it really wasn’t that much for them.

You yawned following Seokjin to his room and laid down while he played dramas on a projector to his roof, you had a lot of fun watching the shows.

“This is what they do, they give you an offer and you splash water in their face?” Seokjin smiled “I mean it is a romantic gesture but you took one of our board directors money and found a way to stay.”

“Oh if he presented me with a legally binding contract I would have definitely splashed him with the whole jug of water in the cafe trust me” You pretended to dump water on Jin’s head.


	66. 12/08/2020 Part 2.SMUT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> don't feel the need to read if you don't like smut but this really isn't explicit. Rough and lustful scenes are nice but this one needed to be romantic and gentle love.

“This is what they do, they give you an offer and you splash water in their face?” Seokjin smiled “I mean it is a romantic gesture but you took one of our board directors' money and found a way to stay.”

“Oh if he presented me with a legally binding contract I would have definitely splashed him with the whole jug of water in the cafe trust me” You pretended to dump water on Jin’s head. He launched across the bed and pinned you down straddling and tickling your sides. 

In a fit of giggles you wiggled trying to free your legs, kicking his knee accidentally causing him to fall forward. His face a mere breath away from yours causing the giggling stopped. He searched your eyes and pushed himself forward with his knees and elbows until your faces lined up perfectly. 

Tilting his head to the side Seokjin leaned in enveloping your lips with his, kissing you softly. You felt warm, there was no rush in his demeanor. It was a slow kiss but in no way lazy. You always said Seokjin’s kiss was like the tide lapping at your feet. 

His hands gently brushed against you, brushing under Jungkook’s shirt; You had borrowed and changed into when you returned home. His fingertips like soft petals grazing up your sides gently pushing the shirt you were wearing up as well. The kiss was never broken but you didn’t need to see to pull at the buttons on his RJ pyjamas.

Once his shirt was open down the front you placed your palms flat against his warm muscles. His chest was broad and strong. Rolling your hands up over his shoulders you pushed the rest of the pyjama shirt down his arms. He broke the kiss kneeling over you and removing the offending garment before letting his fingers ghost your exposed stomach marveling at how soft your skin was.

You always said Seokjin’s kiss was like the tide lapping at your feet —trying to pull you out to sea. His hands moved like the ocean, which stripped away all pretenses. The warm blankets felt like the warmest waters caressing your skin and making you feel so small. 

Seokjin was really looking at you, taking you all in, you could see his eyes traveling over your face and down your form. There was no hiding from the watery depths of his dark orbs. Blushing you reached out and covered his eyes, “Stop looking”

His larger hands cupped your wrists, and he kissed each palm as he pulled them away. “Why, can’t I look?”

“Some of us aren’t as beautiful as you?” You whispered; he chuckled softly leaning down kissing your injured thigh, before placing a small open mouth kiss over your rapidly beating heart. His voice was soft telling you how beautiful he thought you were and how much he loved you.

Pulling back waiting for confirmation of your desire. Once you had spoken those words he kissed you slowly and softly. This was like the waves had come in engulfing you. The water that was once at your feet and had now risen to your waist. The two of you were wading through your emotions together slowly testing the waters. 

Seokjin held you without restraints and he moved you in time with the tide, no matter how strong the push and pull of the ocean got Seokjin kept you safe against his chest. The waves got bigger and he promised to keep you safe, happy, and loved.

For the briefest moments, he pulled you under, the flowing sheets of water That were rushing over you. Letting the two of you get caught in a strong current that shook you both immensely and just when you felt like you would drown. He brought you back to the surface and the water was still once more serene and you felt like you could float all day with Seokjin. 

He held you to his chest, the two of you exhausted.

“I love you Kim Seokjin” His ears went red.

“I love me too” He laughed “But I love you so much more”


	67. 20/08/2020

The tolls of last night’s drama marathon had you particularly sluggish when you woke. Where was Seokjin? He must have left earlier that morning. The mystery was solved when the sticky note stuck to your cheek gave you promises of breakfast. Seokjin was so sweet. With all your might you were soon sliding out of bed with a groan.

Deciding it would be best to take a hot shower in the en-suite. Once your muscles in your back neck and injured thigh eased you found it hard to not sing in the shower. Something you hadn’t done since you were younger. You must be particularly happy to be belting out some sweet songs of love.

You emerged dressed in a soft cardigan and pair of long dark pants. Today was a big day, firstly your brother was planning on returning that evening, and secondly you were planning on surprising him with a fully furnished home. 

The boys were bustling around each getting ready for the day, they were wearing casual clothes but even dressed down you could tell they were celebrities. Seokjin placed a plate of breakfast in front of you and kissed your temple before heading down the hall to get dressed. Jungkook was on what you believed was his third plate of breakfast and was eyeing some of the items on your plate.

Playfully hissing and slapping his hands away the two of you were stuck in a childish game where you were slapping each other’s hands away. Yoongi watched with tired eyes and his mouth pressed into a line watching you both over the rim of his coffee cup.

That man was obsessed with Iced Americanos and you didn’t see the bitter appeal. You preferred your coffee a little different. Once you had surrendered you leftover breakfast to the vacuum that was Jeon Jungkook you went to collect your shoes and bag ready to go.

Namjoon stepped forward and the group were all dressed in disguises which made you laugh, they were so obvious. With a shrug, you all climbed into the Starex van and headed to the city to the realtor that you had booked an appointment with. Namjoon led the group into the realtor company waiting room and they immediately brought you into a luxurious office.

You would be lying if it didn’t make you feel good getting better service but you also felt guilty for jumping the queue. “I feel the same way.” Hoseok whispered taking the small of your back and leading you into the office. His hand was so warm burning through your cardigan and making your cheeks flush.

It was such a simple gesture but a romantic one, that he initiated in public. Disguise or not, it made you feel special.

“Good morning, I will be with you in a minute,“ an older gentleman asked, not looking up at you. Not understanding the hype of the group like the reception staff had. “How can I help you today?” 

“I would like to buy a house in full today” You spoke and he looked at you shocked. The boys seemed to beam at the way you were so confident and powerful when asking. Namjoon placed his hand on your thigh and when you turned to him he gave you an encouraging grin. “This house.”

“Well get the owner on the phone?” The man said, taking the advert with a shaking hand and looked at the price. “Would you like something to drink?”

After some paperwork everything was soon paid for and you were handed the keys and shown through the house. You each wrote down a list of items you wished to purchase to make the house a home, this included new bedding appliances and such.

Hoseok and Taehyung went to purchase the bedding and decor, Yoongi and Jin were going to find some appliances. Yoongi had a real appreciation for new technology. Jungkook and Jimin went shopping for groceries and Namjoon and yourself were organizing movers to help bring your brothers things over. The moment the old apartment was empty you could cancel his lease, and luckily there were some kids in the choreography team that needed a place to stay and were happy to share.

It was truly a beautiful home and you hoped he liked it. Everything was paid for. Being cryptic you told your brother to go to the address, as you were having a meeting with some people and needed them both to come over. 

While you were waiting you got a call from doctor Han, answering with a grin his next words made you freeze. “y/n I have some bad news and some good news”

“What is it?” You walked away from the room where everyone was setting up a party and sat in the master bedroom where Yoongi was curled up sleeping.

“The bad news you lost about fifteen percent of your strength and move ability in your leg but the good news is that you have currently only gained back half, it is healing nicely and as you keep working it will strengthen the Doctor said you will walk and move almost like normal.The only problems will be it will get tired easily if you run or exert the muscle and you will have some weakness with stairs but otherwise you will be working at almost ninety percent.”

“Oh.” Unsure whether to be happy with the outcome or sad that your injury was now measurable. He sighed and explained that you were lucky and that perhaps you could pull another miracle and beat their odds as you had done time and time again.

“Yeah I guess you are right” Your shoulders squared but you didn’t feel ready for the challenge, you actually felt kind of pathetic. “Thanks Doctor Han’s I will see you for our next appointment.

“Well that is the other thing I wish to call about, since you are getting better and you are following the stretches and activities I have given you, I think we might hold our appointments twice a week instead of everyday, still completely covered by the Military of course, you don’t have to pay a thing.”

“Well I guess it will be nice to have some free time” The words weren’t convincing and he gave a soft chuckle.

“You are doing amazing Y/n. Please have some more confidence in yourself.” He said “I will see you at the same time in two days okay?”

“Okay, thank you,” disconnecting the call you sighed trying to process all the new information. You admittedly didn’t get far when a hand pulled you down to the bed and held you in a lazy hug. Yoongi didn’t say a word, he just hugged you. Letting you work through your thoughts, just not letting you do it on your own.


	68. 08/09/2020

The house was pristine and looked like one of those home catalogues, the boys had decided on some very nice colour schemes all working together. If they weren’t Kpop Idols, you wondered if any of them would pursue home decoration. The place looked amazing and you could just see it now; a place for them and their children to put their bags, shoes, and coats.

A big enough bathroom to help their children through the bath. Here is where they would have family dinners. You were tearing up, Yoongi hadn’t let you go since the phone call, he wrapped his pinky around yours and kept you close to him. How anyone thought he was scary was beyond you. Of course he had his moments but he was just so soft and sweet.

The lights of the taxi appeared in the driveway and you grinned as they knocked on the door. You opened the door with a cheeky grin and said, “Sorry we let ourselves in, we wanted to surprise you”

They stepped inside looking awkward rolling their bags along behind them. “Who’s place is this, I feel weird?” Thomas took off his shoes and saw his slippers and Areums.

“Don’t worry you know them” The collective grin you all tried to suppress made Areum and Thomas suspicious. “I just hope the owners let us stay more often, it is such a lovely house”

“Is that my coasters?” Thomas froze and you shrugged acting nonchalant

“Must have the same ones?” You answered flippantly trying not to give anything away. Hobi was giggling in the background. “Come sit down and we can talk about your time away.

“Jimin and Jungkook collected snacks and drinks and you all sat around listening to them tell some funny stories.

~

“…So it turns out, it wasn’t a hurt animal, it was Areum’s drunk aunty snoring in the barn.” He said and the room erupted in fits of giggles. 

~

“Should we order food to your house?” you said subtly dropping the ‘your’ and the boys bit back their laughter.

“Sure, Who’s house did you say it was again?” Areum said looking around examining the decor and the beautiful furniture. “It is beautiful”

You shrugged and the conversation picked up again distracting them from their curiosity. The evening progressed with food drinks even more infectious laughter. Until it was getting late.

“Well I should take Thomas home and sleep before work early tomorrow” Areum said 

“Hey we get it we will be out of your hair.” You smiled and pulled out the key. “I sold Thomas’ home and moved all his stuff in, but enjoy your new house together”

“Wait what?” Your brother screeched from the dining table. “I knew that that was my calendar on the wall, and my coasters and my dvd’s.

“I bought you this house and well I wanted you to have a stable life so you could perhaps one day marry Areum and make her my Sister-in-law.” You smiled

“How did you pay for this?’ Thomas asked, horrified looking around. 

“Well I got a lot of money and well it is expensive for a house near Seoul but I got you a really nice place I hope you like”

“Like it, I love it.” Thomas said

“I am speechless,” Areum said excitedly as the two ran about the house in a frenzy. 

Thomas hugged you multiple times and told you he would pay you back, but you refused to listen. Deeming it time to go home you collected the boys and headed back to Hanam where Yoongi took your hand and led you to his room. The two of you cuddled and just as you got comfortable, he asked.

“Are you okay?” His voice was soft and rumbly “it is okay to be sad, and scared but only if you never let yourself feel alone”

~

Waking the next day late feeling a lot like you were hibernating away from the troubles of the world. Yoongi stirred softly and began running his hands through his hair and sighed looking across the dark room into your eyes. His eyes were squinting even though the room was pitch black.

You opened your mouth to say good morning when your phone rang, searching for the device you answered trying to sound like you had been awake for hours. “Good morning this is Y/n speaking?”

“Hell miss Y/n, This is Major Won-Shik formerly Captain Won-shik from the Republic of Korea Armed Forces. How are you this morning?’

“Very well thank you” You laughed “You got a promotion sir, since last time I saw you”

“That is good to hear, and yes ma’am, I did receive a promotion. But I am calling today on in regards to the award ceremony that will be taking place in a week’s time and where you will be receiving an Order of National Security Merit. Are you aware that you were going to be awarded for your deed’s within the lockdown?”

“Uh… yeah,” Your words seemed to fail you, you knew you were getting an award for your services but not a national security award.

“That’s good to hear, if you have free time. We would love to see you at the rehearsal and there are two young men who would love to see you. They talk about you often and are very persistent, especially Tae-U.” He grew softer and less business-like as he spoke fondly of his subordinate, but promptly fell back into his professional persona. “So Sun-ki and Tae-U will pick you up, please dress warmly as this is only the rehearsal but remember on the day you will need to be dressed formally as you will be meeting the president as he is the one presenting the award. And the whole award ceremony is televised.”

“I will have to get a nice outfit…” mumbling to yourself thinking about the things you would need to do, Yoongi who was now sitting up beside you touched your shoulder with a reassuring smile. Gosh, he must be still asleep if he is smiling at you this early in the morning. The poor boy must be in some sort of delusion that he is still sleeping. “Ok, thank you. I will see you at the rehearsal tomorrow night”

You both laid back and one by one more of the boys crept into the room and climbed onto the bed squishing their way onto the mattress. “Y/n, we are going to be out late tonight we are doing a rehearsal performance for an award ceremony, apparently since we had so much help from the military, Mister Bang said tha we should perform to thank them.”

“Yeah, Y/n is getting an award, she needs to get something nice to wear and you might have to help her prepare a speech” Yoongi groaned opening his eyes to see a grinning Taehyung looking back. “Aish… Can you all just get out and let me sleep.”


	69. 09/09/2020

You nervously pulled at the dress, you hadn’t anything nicer but it was just a rehearsal. The boys were all in sweats and you could have sworn Yoongi was still wearing his pajamas. Hoseok was a little upset you weren’t riding in their van but you assured him it was for the best as there would be press waiting as they stepped out and it would be best to go with Sun-ki and Tae-U. 

They arrived and Tae-U engulfed you in a hug, he looked you up and down and giggled. “You look like a girl Noona”

“That is because I am a girl, you realise that right?” You laughed but guessed it must be a change from hazmat suits which weren’t very flattering and left almost everything to the imagination. And underneath those you wore hoodies and sweatpants still nothing that would allude to your feminine form.

“Well yeah, but… not this girl” He gestured to all of you, making you raise your eyebrow. His embarrassment was so strong and you were basking in it with power, the fact that your presence had him so flustered did wonders to your pride. It had been a long time since you had worn a dress. “You have…”

“Oi, stop gesturing at her body.” Yoongi growled his Daegu accent coming through making you grin stupidly, he was trying to intimidate the young man and it must have worked as Tae-U’s hand retracted from mid air and went to scratch the back of his neck, his face red. 

“My apologies,” he stammered, “You just look nice and I am not used to it.”

“Well don’t get used to it” Jimin sassed, swinging his arm over your shoulders and turning you to face him where he whispered into your ear. “Don’t let your guard down, all men are wolves”

“You included?” The question was teasing back trying to get him to retract his words, but he didn’t, surprising you further by agreeing with his statement.

“Me especially” His giggle faded as he climbed into the Starex van.

Waving to the group of boys as they climbed into their van and drove off, you entered the military escort car with the other two, Sun-Ki was driving and Tae-U had turned on the radio singing to all the pop songs on the radio.

The palm cards in your hand were heavy and you felt like the letters were losing meaning and were a bunch of squiggles. “You look stressed,” Sun-ki asked, turning down the music making Tae-U’s voice die off in embarrassment.

“I am nervous, yes,” You wiped your palms on your dress and hoped you would be dressed more appropriately tomorrow a sundress wasn’t exactly formal for an award ceremony played on every television in South Korea. “This is probably the most important event I will ever be apart of”

“Relax, I am sure everything will be fine and if they aren’t they would just say it was cause you were a foreigner and you didn’t know any better” Tae-U laughed as if that would ease your tension, it made it worse now you had the expectation to uphold South Korea’s opinion of foreigners.

“Did the boys give you any tips about being on stage and on television,” Sun-ki asked, his eyes meeting yours briefly in the rear view mirror and you looked down at your hands again. “Picturing the crowd naked, or something?”

“Eww.. and yeah, Soekjin said to make sure to show my good side and to smile, and Namjoon said something about talking slow and being polite” 

When you arrived there were some pictures and people asking your name and why you were there. You stepped inside and was immediately grabbed by Seokjin who grabbed your hand and led you to their waiting room. “Ahh, I have been standing there for ten minutes what took you so long. They told me to do it because they said I need less make up time. Which I guess is their way of saying I am perfect so I can’t complain too much about that, can I?”

It was like his presence eased all the stress and you relaxed instantly, listening to his ramblings made it seem like this award ceremony and speech would be a total walk in the park. Seeing all the boys and discussing the stage and alterations to their performance you were at ease.

You sat and watched the boys practice and there was a practice of the speeches, your name was called and you shook the hand of the stagehand who was standing in for the president and went to the podium, they adjusted the size of the microphone for you and wrote on a clipboard that this would have to happen after the boys performance. 

“You tried to read the speech and the words were fumbling and Namjoon took your free hand which had been clenched into a tiny fist on the top of the podium and pried your fingers open and laced them with his. Jungkook rested his head on your shoulder reading the words quietly and Yoongi took a hold of the hem of your dress as if to reassure you he was there.

They were so sweet and the tension eased automatically letting the rest of the speech flow.

Namjoon spoke with the stage directors and asked them if they could be present during the speech and they were politely refused. Having to wait backstage. You wouldn’t lie, the boys were like your safety blanket, there was so much you were relying on them for and the idea of doing this alone without them was scary.

Having not been this alone since the fog, but not being able to see back then the fog was your safety blanket though you couldn’t see out no one could see you. This was so exposing you were not only able to see the audience they would be able to see you. So vulnerable.

Finishing up for the day you received a text from Wendy, she said that she would be happy to accompany you dress shopping for the Award ceremony as Areum was busy with some work projects. With a cheeky smile on your face you sent back a time to meet at her work and you would go to the shops and look for something that would fit the attire requirements.

~

With your collapsible can in your small bag in case you needed it on your search for the perfect dress you said goodbye to the boys who frowned and insisted that they wished to come with you.

You believed this was something you needed to remove your dependency on them and to ease some of the PTSD you had with the world. There were things you had to face and overcome to resume your previous lifestyle and habits. It was unhealthy to keep using the boys and you had this speech to prepare for.

Dressed so brightly in blue denim shorts, yellow top that matched her yellow sneakers and a pink bomber jacket, Wendy took you to all the cool shops trying to find you something formal and yet still stylish. She said she didn’t want you looking like an old woman in an unflattering dress.


	70. 10/09/2020

It was the night you had been dreading and working towards, your tiny friends group had been talking with you and hyping you for this very evening. Each saying they would be watching to see you, this included Mal-chin and his father Allan, Myunghee, and Wendy.

As if that didn’t increase the pressure, you snorted bitterly as you sat in the waiting room with the others getting awards, it was some sort of comfort that Won-Shik, Tae-U and Sun-Ki were all accepting awards of their own. 

People reciting their speeches were starting to get on your nerves as you could barely hear yourself think, The boys had two of their stylists work on your hair and make up before and they would help you if you ever needed a touch up. 

You were walking out of the waiting room and lined up backstage, as you were the first and most important award of the evening, the pressure was weighing upon you. The boys entered onto the stage and began dancing, they were putting their heart and soul into the performance and you couldn’t help but feel a multitude of emotions. Everything from the loss of dancing to the gain of friends and finally acceptance and some complicated relationship with these amazing young men.

It didn’t take long for you their performance to be over and they walked past each brushing their hands and fingertips against your palm. Namjoon stopped and looked at you, we will be right here waiting for you, he gestured to just off stage to your left and you took a deep breath.

Nodding weakly he grasped your shoulders. “You got this.”

The ceremony began and the first award your award was presented, you shakily stepped out in your dress was an elegant fit and flare waist, with a mock neck line of sheer lace and soft cap sleeves. The dress was in a rich purple and as you stepped across the stage your small black kitten heels click clacked.

You shook the president’s hand and he placed the award around your neck and thanked you for your services and he gestured to the podium, only the first and most important awards got to make speeches and you wished you didn’t have to but you had to thank them for the honour of receiving such an amazing award.

“Good evening ladies and gentleman…” Looking up at the crowd felt like a punch to the diaphragm. You lost your breath, the pressure was on and you couldn’t catch your breath. “My…” 

Your voice cracked and you took a few deep breaths looking to the side of the stage where the boys all made fists in the air and mouthed ‘Fighting’, there were tears in your eyes and you couldn’t look up any more. The president stepped over and smiled gently.

“Take your time, and breathe slowly” He said in English in that moment you saw him as very fatherly and for that you were grateful.  
“Can I bring Namjoon on stage to help me?” he nodded and you turned to the group of boys and the president gestured to them to come over and they sheepishly stepped out each smiling and standing behind you. Stealthily Yoongi held the skirt of your dress away from camera’s and Jimin gave your shoulder a pat. They were trying to reassure you without giving too much away to the people.

“My name is Y/n,” the speech went as planned “I gave protection to those who needed it, I brought food and brought new life into this world and it is something I will never forget. I lost, I lost myself along the way, who I was and what I wanted to be, I lost my ability to dance but, I found friends and a home, I found a new career path and new opportunities and new things I never would have if I hadn’t made that choice that day. So I thank you for this truly amazing award and all it means.”

The boys were all very supportive and you were able to successfully finish the speech, but not before saying a word that made the crowd laugh and Namjoon corrected you. “Gwiyeom” Taehyung giggled hugging Jimin who licked his lips pressing them together to stop himself from laughing. The damage was of course done and you would be the laughing stock.

~

Backstage the boys were teasing you and said your pronunciation of the word was like a very cutesy baby way of saying the word and you blamed Wendy who used the slang word often. If that was all the errors you made you were not mad, that was something that you could handle and you were able to loosen up enough on stage with the boys silently cheering you on and even looked the audience in the eyes.

The boys performed one more time and even gave a thankyou speech where they addressed your friendship and support during the lockdown.

~ 

There was a small after party where you all got to have a small glass of champagne together and mingle and Tae-U was trying to get you onto the dance floor proclaiming that it didn’t take much to sway but Yoongi had a firm hand on your thigh and a fierce glare in his eyes towards the young man.

The group soon headed home and you took two different cars and your phone was blowing up with a collection of text messages about your cute fumble within your speech. Entering the boys apartment they all sat in the lounge with bright smiles, “there is the rising star.”

“You have made quite the impression tonight, the Army think you are adorable, something about you really made them fall in love.” Seokjin smiled, waving his phone at you.

“That can’t be true there has to be some Army that are not happy with me for being so close to you” You tried to call their bluff and Hoseok laughed pulling you onto the couch.

“Of course there are always a few” Taehyung sighed “But most of them call you the Bangtan Angel especially after we addressed what happened to Jungkook tonight and your help, they are all thankful for what you have done.”

“They also thought you were really cute and funny, some even started shipping us, hell even Bang PD is thinking about putting you on a run BTS episode to talk about what happened and play a few games.”

Your phone rang and your brother’s name was on the screen and you answered. “Hello my sister, you are famous, my students are all talking about you,” without a chance to answer him for his light hearted teasing he continued. “Did you by any chance put my name into a work raffle to win a holiday, because I just won a holiday for two to Jeju for a romantic get away”

“No I didn’t but congratulations, take Areum and have some fun” You snickered into the phone.

“We just got back but, this is such a good offer we might have to take it.” He laughed, “We leave tomorrow and work has already issued our leave so I will see you in two weeks”


	71. 15-09-2020

Stepping out from your appointment at the physio, you saw Mister Dong leaning against his car. He hadn’t noticed you had seen him thank gosh. Immediately you became suspicious, what was he doing here, you glanced around casually and checked your phone only to see it ringing. It was his name on the screen. Could you pretend it wasn’t ringing? Would he know you were lying? Would you care if he knew?

Sighing discreetly, you answered the phone, “Hello?” You asked starting to walk to the cafe Wendy had said she would be working but you were there to meet with Mal-chin. He had asked to see you and it seemed kind of important.

“Ah miss y/n, how are you this morning?” His voice was condescending and you knew he was hiding something and trying to lord it over you.

“Kind of busy, I am meeting a friend for lunch?” You said politely and yet still with authority.

“I was wondering if you had time for a quick chat, your brother and his girlfriend are going on a get away holiday are they not?” He said smugly and you bit your lip and continued to walk away, that asshole. “Do you still not have time to-”

You cut him off, “Hello?” You said trying to sound genuinely confused “Hello, Mister Dong are you there?”

“Hello, yes I am here?” His voice came through clearly and you held your phone up in the air having muted the phone and started shouting that the service was bad while muting and unmuting the phone stealthily with your thumb. disconnecting the call in the middle of your talking “Hello are you the-”

That ought to keep him busy for a while, you thought continuing down the road without looking back. But what he said really hit you, he had faked a get away holiday for your brother and his girlfriend, you dropped Thomas and Areum a text and they understood your warning that Mister Dong planned it to get them away from you. They agreed that they would keep an eye out for trouble but would definitely use the trip anyway for a free trip and paid leave from the company.

There wasn’t much time for thought as you arrived at the cafe, Wendy waved to you from behind the bad her Plum coloured hair standing out amongst the other staff members. She was such a bubbly young lady you honestly couldn’t fathom not meeting her. She reminded you of yourself when you were not so – for lack of a better word – Damaged.

She was a good influence, she reminded you to be happy in the moment, and not to dwell. Sure your mind was full of what if’s, but if you were out having a good time with people you love and trusted; she taught you to push the worries aside. If for a moment and have fun, it surprised you how afterwards you would think over the events. All the things you had worried about leading up to the events, seemed irrelevant, they were all for nothing. 

Mouthing to her and gesturing to her beautiful make up she blushed and looked down concentrating on her pour. Giggling you turned to see Mal-chin sitting at a table, his knee jutting in away that reminded you of a young teens impatience and boredom. His hair was on the longer side, with the whole quarantine thing, he wouldn’t have time for a haircut. Even when you met it was a tad shaggy, like your dark phase in highschool or the fourth year in harry potter.

Mal-chin gave you a brilliant smile and you took off your coat sitting down, you didn’t miss his glance towards your choice of shirt, it was a v neck but you didn’t think it was distasteful. The boy was a teen of course and he was respectful enough to quickly look away. It reminded you of Seokjin’s whining that morning about your choice of shirt.

“Hey Mal-chin, how is your dad?”  
“He is good, he has been a little busy though,” He smiled. It mustn’t seem bad to have some space at his age. “I have been working hard and look here at my text scores, my teacher says if I keep this up I will get accepted in the S Medical University.”

“That is so exciting,” You smiled as Wendy came over to take your order. Mal-chin Ordered a Chai latte with cinnamon on top and you ordered a dark chocolate mocha iced. The conversation and banter between you three was great, they brought up your speech and cute phrase and you blamed Wendy. Who when she finished her shift she suggested you three go to the movies and watch some new romance comedy.

Looking at Mal-chin making sure he wasn’t uncomfortable he was smiling brilliantly, and the two were off leaving you to try and catch. They were walking along and window shopping and you received a call from Bang Si-hyuk who asked you to come for an important meeting.

“Hey guys, I have to go back early. I got a meeting but you too have fun and tell me how the movie goes” You grinned racing back to the Bighit headquarters and were ushered through security and up to one of the top floors for the meeting.

Everyone was there and waiting, bowing politely you rushed to your seat, “Sorry I am late, I came as fast as my leg allowed”

“Miss y/n, I saw you on television delivering a very powerful speech,” Mister Bang smiled cheekily, “We all have our memorable speeches”

Flushing as you remembered your fumble on stage in front of millions, “Ah yes, I have learnt the correct phrase now and will remember it well”

“We are here to revisit your relationship with the boys and I must say recently you have been in good favors with the Army and well, it doesn’t seem like they would be against you dating a member, we are thinking we can use this as a test. To see how they react to someone dating a member.”

You nodded listening intently “As Seokjin is the oldest, we are thinking perhaps he could be the other party public advertised in the relationship and then your presence with the band won’t be questioned. Of course we expect to lose some of the fan base but we want to know how many exactly still support the band.” Mister Bang sighed before taking a drink of water.

“We don’t want a Hyuna and Edawn situation on our hands, if you can still be successful we won’t kick you out, if the effects are to negative we will deny the allegations and say you were working together for an upcoming project,” You watched the CEO discuss your relationship feeling kind of exposed but kept quiet. “If this works you can publicly move with the band if not, you will move behind the scenes in secret” 

“That sounds fair sir” Nodding to show your understanding he smiled before turning to the bored

“Before we finalise this does anyone have anything to say on the matter, I want the band, the company and yourself to be well represented.”

“I think you should see this sir,” Mister Dong said showing an article that had your picture on it dressed in a Hazmat suit with a gun and the article was exposing you for killing someone during quarantine and not being a saint or saviour. 

“This complicates things. I am so sorry, I cannot bring this onto my company and group, perhaps when everything dies down we can try again.” He said with a deep sigh rubbing his face “Ah… I was actually so happy and ready for you guys to start dating.”

“Hey whatever she did was self defense and we can have the article taken down and marked as defamation of character, we can say it was an attempt to tear her down.” Namjoon said standing and you slumped into your chair, head tilted back. This was like an earthquake, splitting your world in two. 

“It would be best if you aren’t seen entering our building for a while and I ask that you don’t stay with the boys anymore it is too risky to have you seen, it is funny how one little thing changes everything” Mr Dong smirked eyeing you with mock pity he walked around the table and touched your shoulder. “I will drive you home.”

“Hey y/n, before you go don’t lose hope, look everything is up in the air again let’s give it a week and revisit the decision” Mr Bang said trying to reassure you.


	72. 23-09-2020

Mister Dong walked you to the elevator and you took out your phone and began recording hoping to catch a confession to use against him. “Did you tip off the press?”

“Not me, But it happened at the right time, someone else ratted on you, before you could affect the boys career.” He sneered

“You’re an asshole, you know that right, I perpetually hate you,” you smiled at him as you got into his car. “The anger is bubbling inside me and I hope you know I won’t go down without a fight”

“I know, that’s why I have an ultimatum, you leave for good from South Korea and take this money and I will let your brother and Areum keep their jobs” he smirked, “think about that.”

“So you’re threatening me and my family, that if I don’t leave the country you will fire my brother and his girlfriend?” You were beyond furious with the man, what the hell did he think he was doing, why was he trying to sabotage the boys and yourself. What the hell did he gain? The more you pondered the more you wondered if he was actually working for another company.

He pulled up outside your brother’s home and you stepped out phone ringing. Answering you gave mister Dong the finger as he left in his car. “Hello Mal-chin are you okay?”

“Are you okay?” His voice was shaking, he sounded close to tears but not from sadness, he almost sounded like he was in shock “that article, I just saw it. It’s from my dad’s Pen name. He is a reporter. I didn’t think he would do something like this, I am so sorry?”

“It’s okay, I hated being treated like some kind of saint and getting awards, whilst keeping such a big thing a secret” There really was something freeing about finally getting the judgement you deserved.

“You don’t hate me?” His voice was so tiny and unsure, you smiled softly, no longer feeling the weight on your shoulders but you felt a little sick. Sick that he had to deal with the negative sides of his father’s work.

“No I don’t hate you” you sighed, phone buzzing, “I have to go I have another call”

“Hey, Y/n, don’t worry, we have just posted the official article about what happened. The new report says our officers are responsible for shooting the man and you were just present we spun the story a little to pardon you from the limelight” 

“I am sending a statement, read it and memorise it if any reporters ask you to tell them exactly what is written” you agreed and quickly hung up. 

“I was there, with former captain Won-shik and his team, mister Kim Seokjin and we had just rescued Jeon Jungkook, who had been taken by Mister Choi’s people we were heading back in a peaceful rescue mission to retrieve him when we ran straight into Mister Choi he held a gun to Seokjin’s head and told us to stay back. As we were trying to negotiate I got to close and he shot me in the leg while the soldier shot him before he could kill anyone else” You mumbled it felt a little like a lie but the officer on the phone said you were working with Major Won-shik and a part of the team so they consider you in that moment a soldier and are keeping it ambiguous. 

Thanking that you had a spare key to your brothers new house, you headed inside and took a seat on the couch. Jungkook facetimed you, you could see him and Taehyung sitting on the couch in the living room. “Can you sneak over?”

“Not tonight boys, Mister Dong has banned me from seeing you. He is threatening Areum and Thomas’ jobs, I am wondering what I should do?”

“What do you mean wondering?” Yoongi hissed snatching the phone and looking at you through the screen. “If you are even contemplating it then clearly we are dispensable and you should just leave”

“Woah Yoongi that is harsh,” Hoseok said as Jimin tried to calm him down.  
“We all were contemplating quitting for her and she isn’t thinking the same way?”  
“Listen if it was my job on the line I would, but it is my brothers and his girlfriend. I would never kill someone to save myself’

“That’s funny, the news says you would” He spat, throwing the phone onto the couch you assumed he left judging by the others calling out his name, Taehyung called your name but you hung up.

Everyone was too stressed but that was such a childish way to handle the situation. You called your brother, hoping the three of you could come to a decision. Needless to say the two refused to let you sacrifice your happiness for their jobs.

~

It had been almost an entire week since you had spoken to the boys, of course they texted you and you texted politely back but you were working through things. Mostly paperwork with Doctor Chang at his little clinic and your liaison with the Korean army was Major Won-shik who was filing the paperwork and you were given a full military scholarship to be Doctor Changs apprentice.

Finally on the friday you were meeting Wendy and Mal-chin after work the three of you were having a wonderful time, eating frozen yoghurt and window shopping, Mal-chin’s hair was still so long and you couldn’t see his eyes.

“Hey do you want me to get you an appointment for a haircut?” He didn’t seem to like that idea as in a split second he blanched before trying to tame his expression. “No, it’s okay if you don’t want to, do you want me to pin your hair out of your eyes?”

He nodded and looked up at you softly letting you move his hair to the side retrieving a pin from your hair you frowned, “I only have a little bow clip, is that okay?”

“It will be fine, I don’t know anyone here besides you two. Just don’t make me look silly.” He smiled and you placed them into his hair. He checked his reflection and deemed it appropriate before you each continued on.

“Let’s have some dinner” The three of you had dinner and you walked Mal-chin to the train where he returned the clip.

“Thank you for letting me borrow it” He smiled, “I just don’t want to cut my hair yet, a lot of guys my age have long hair so I want to fit in and make friends”

“I get it, try all these fun things, while you’re young, it’s just hair and you have the rest of your life to change how it looks and the color–” Cut off by a big hug your last words a wheeze.

“Thank you for everything, for just being here even though my dad…” He sniffed eyes watering and he wiped it on the corner of his dress coat sleeve. “If ever you need anything, I will help however I can”

“Well actually, I know your dad is a good reporter, perhaps we can do business, I have someone I want him to look into” 

~

The meeting was called at the end of the week, on Saturday and officially your name was cleared. There wasn’t much to do that morning, Wendy and Mal-chin had already helped pick out a business outfit, ‘something powerful like the girls in Kdrama’s’ Mal-chin had proposed when you presented them with the challenge of appropriate attire.

So here you were feeling badass with some heels and it had taken a long time to be able to walk in them again and tight black business pants and a deep purple v neck with cap sleeves. You had your nails and hair done as a group, Mal-chin obviously sitting out when it came to the salon but sporting a navy nail polish.

But you were ready and you meant business, this was going to be one meeting they wouldn’t forget for a long time. Because you had the information they didn’t know about Mister Dong.


	73. 20-10-2020

Walking into the meeting room dressed in your professional attire, a cane in hand you saw the boys eyeing you up and down. Even Yoongi who hadn’t spoken to you since the disaster of a phone conversation. You don’t bother sitting but nod politely.

“Let’s get this over with shall we?” You asked  
“Look things have been rocky and I think that it would be best if we instead give you a position with the idol trainee’s for a year while things settle. Then we will spread some rumours of Seokjin dating whilst he is in the army and see how the fans react. That gives us time to evaluate whether it is a good or bad decision for you to go public with your relationships” Bang Si-Hyuk spoke formally, discussing every aspect methodically.

“No!” You said firmly making the boys turn and look at you “I believe Namjoon once said Love ain’t a business rather like a fitness. Meaning love isn’t something you can calculate, it is something you have to work on and push for physically. No amount of scenarios will prepare you for what will actually happen if a relationship is or isn’t revealed.”

“All the more reason we should prevent this from happening, we have no idea how this could go. There are too many variables.” Mister Dong said gesturing at you “The boys are successful now, the top of the industry, if you add in a dating scandal then they could be gone overnight”

“What if we all die tomorrow?” You frowned “There are so many what ifs and you can sit there and bubble wrap your boys or you can let them be free and happy, they might work harder, or write better songs. I am not saying I want the relationship public. Let me be viewed as a member of staff and have an excuse to be in their presence and when the doors are closed we are all happy in private.

The CEO nodded slowly rubbing his chin, “You both make important points. But I think the only way I will allow the boys to date secretly or otherwise is if the contract becomes null and void”

“You want to throw away the band that made your business what it is today your company is worth 1T korean won” You stressed, “You want them to leave, they have their small fortunes and their name to make their own company which will outsell yours any day, do you want that?”

“If you want I will quit right now,” Seokjin said “I know I am not the youngest or most talented, but I won’t sell my happiness for greed.

Yoongi’s voice was soft “For the first time in a long time I am happy. I have done worse and I don’t care how many fans I have, I think I would prefer not to have the devoted fangirls pushing me to be something I am not. Suppress my life for this image that I am their boyfriend, I am a human and a producer and rapper, I don’t like being exploited as anything more.”

“I have never been someone who would give up my dream for someone else” Jungkook mumbled, “But what is the point of working towards a dream, if there is no one to share it with”

Namjoon nodded “We are either all in with Y/n or we are all out with Y/n”

Mister Dong began a heated argument, “Why would we put our profits in danger, when we can continue working as we should better yet the boys are estimated to begin their decline through fame within the next two years. Clearing the way for other bands to take their spot.”

“You would say that wouldn’t you, Mister Dong,” You smirked retrieving a manilla folder from your bag “Or should I say Mister Shin Jae suk from SYP company”

To emphasise your point you threw the folder open on the desk. Images taken by Allan the whole investigation with his legal Identification and phone records. “He has been selling information to the competitors”

“Is this true, Mister Dong?” The CEO turned looking unimpressed, “you have been selling information to the SYP company?”

“You have no proof!” Mister Dong accused pointing a finger at your face “This bitch is trying to weasel her way into the spotlight and ruin this group’s fame and fortune, she will be the downfall of the company!!!”

As he was flailing wildly, voice hoarse, security came to retrieve him upon the quiet request of Mister Lee. The man stood up and spoke quietly making sure you were okay after the rather aggressive behaviour of the undercover spy.

After a ten minute interlude where you and the boys all sat drinking tea and relaxing Bang Si-Hyuk and the other chairman returned. Sitting up straight out of respect for the CEO he smiled “We are sorry for all the runaround, we were being fed lies and deception from a man we thought we could trust.”

You accepted the apology, and they sighed “We were thinking about rescheduling the meeting but, I can see how much this means to you and the boys, how far you will go?” He smiled softly “You think that I don’t want those boys to be happy, I have seen them grow, they have gone through the good and the bad and they always followed my lead. This is the first time, I have seen them truly fight for what the want and believe in”

The boys cringed, “And for that how can I say no, they are growing into fine men and I have you to thank. So I see no problem in offering you the job we previously agreed on, because you have taught them so much, I want you to teach them more, the good and the bad. Shape them more, give them the closest thing they can have to a normal life and a normal relationship.”

The boys smiled eagerly at each other cheekily. “You will have to all sign this contract and Non disclosure agreement” You leaned over the desk to sign when a hand softly brushed your clothed thigh. Turning to see Yoongi looking shy he mouthed an apology and dropped his hand. You leaned over and he softly spoke under his breath. “I am sorry, I don’t deserve you but, I would like it if I can sign and be a part of this relationship?”

“You put the pen in his hand letting your fingers brush over his arm to the shoulder as you passed back to your seat. Where your phone was vibrating in your bag. Taking out the device you answered swiftly.

“Hello?” You asked smiling when you saw the caller ID

“Hey y/n” the voice was watery and broken “can you come get me…”


	74. 21-10-2020

“I can come get you Mal-Chin what happened?” You asked into the phone, feeling your heart break at his quiet sobs, “Tell me where you are”

“Please come get me,” He sobbed, a notification of his location appeared on your phone and you hummed scooping up your bag.

“I am leaving now, I will be there in fifteen minutes, is that okay?” You asked and the phone hung up. Something was wrong, something big and you ran for the door when Jungkook grabbed you by the arm. “Jungkook, not now okay, I have to go” 

You followed the directions and arrived at the end of the directions you were given. Your phone said he was here but all you saw was an empty Alleyway taking a deep breath and against your better judgement you walked down the shadowed road between the two tall buildings. “Mal-Chin, Honey are you here?”

“Y/n?” He called back weakly from a pile of rubbish, you pulled the bags aside and felt your heart drop, Mal-chin was battered and bruised both eyes swollen and you gently lifted him. He felt thinner since the last time you had to carry him to the hospital. You took a cab to Doctor Changs office and you carried him inside.

“I have to go back and see if there was any footage of who did this?” You explained to Doctor Chang after the two of you patched up Mal-chin’s face. Mal-chin was already sleeping and this gave you a clear chance to escape long enough to see what happened.

Taking a deep breath you asked the shop clerk to show you the footage and once you saw it, you paled. They were kids from his school bullying him, grabbing him by the hair pushing and punching him. You got a USB out and downloaded the footage, when you arrived back Mal-chin was awake and nervously looking around as best he could with two swollen eyes.

“Mal-chin,” You whispered sitting beside his bed, you noticed how he cringed upon hearing his name. “Those boys were from your school right, they were wearing the same uniform,”

He nodded not speaking, biting your lip, you moved to sit on the bed softly pulling the boy into a hug. Rubbing his back softly hoping not to irritate any of his injuries his arms slowly wrapped around you clutching at your shirt. “You have to tell me their names, honey”

“No, it will only make it worse,” The soft sniffles breaking your heart as his torso shook lightly, he was breaking down in your arms and you shushed him trying to calm him “Don’t worry”

“I can stop them if you tell me their names” You stressed, taking his hands in yours his “I am not going to tell the principal, that would only make things worse, no I am going to blackmail their parents, I have footage and if they ever step foot out of line I can make sure none of them get into university, I can have them Blacklisted”

“Unnie you are scary” Mal-Chin sniffed, your heart skipping a beat as a realization hit you. You hugged Mal-chin as they listed the names of the students who had been a part of the trouble.

Taking Mal-chin home, the taxi pulled up in the driveway. You turned to the injured teen and guided them out of the vehicle. “Hey honey, listen no matter what happens you have a home with me, you have a safe place with me and Wendy okay?”

Looking at you from between swollen eyelids Mal-chin nodded, slipping their smaller hand into yours. Guiding the two of you to the front door and knocking waiting to be let in. The door opened and Allan looked at you guiltily, his eyes flickering down to avoid your gaze only to land upon his with horror.

He ushered the two of you inside and you were quick to help accommodate and support your young friend through their moment. Taking the role of the older sister you felt like even though the age gap between you and Mal-chin was significant you couldn’t deny that you felt protective.

It was a long night of explaining what happened and what your next course of action was, Allan seemed to be all for the idea of blackmailing the children involved and their parents. Saying he would happily expose the group and play them as the villains in a rather degrading article.

Halfway through the heated discussion where Allan was fuming listing how the school and the teachers needed to work harder to stop bullying. He turned to his child and asked the big question, “Why are they bullying you anyway, what has my son ever done to them?”

You looked encouragingly to Mal-chin and squeezed their hand hoping this would go down well. The young teens hands were shaking in your hands.

“Dad, I am a girl, I mean, I don’t feel like a boy and I don’t want to be a boy, I want to be a girl cause I feel like a girl” Mal-chin rambled nervously. “I want to be a girl, in my head I am a girl, I want to wear dresses and paint my nails and have my hair long”

“Well that’s just stupid!” Allan shouted “Why would they beat you up for that, there is nothing wrong with being a little different,”

Mal-chin was a mess crying, not sure what he expected from his father but happy with his positive reaction. “If my son, wants to be my daughter thats okay, I will buy you all the clothes and shoes and makeup you need”

“Well dad, me and my friend Wendy have been seeing a Doctor about me getting some hormone medicine” Mal-chin said softly, “And we were thinking of some names and well, I remember you said when Mum was having me that if I was a girl I was going to be called Misha and well, I was thinking maybe I could make that my new name?”

“I think your mum would be proud of you no matter your decision. I know, I am not around much and I can’t even begin to know what to say or do, and I can’t guarantee I won’t say the wrong things sometimes but I promise you I will try” Allan smiled pulling his daughter into his arms. “I will try everyday because you are my child”

They had you stay for dinner and you smiled talking about all the things you could do together and Misha smiled excitedly finally feeling comfortable getting all these secrets off her chest.


	75. 22-10-2020

After a delicious dinner you stepped into the bathroom, trying to find a bit of privacy to make a call. Taking out your phone, you called Yoongi. It took a few rings before he picked up, his voice was like when you poured honey, slow and thick. 

“Hello?” You felt your muscles relax from just the sound of his breathing, let alone his gravelly greeting. 

“Hey Yoongi,” You breathed nervously playing with your shirt buttons, “Do you want to go get something to drink?”

“Uh, sure but we will have to drink in private, we can’t really go to a pub” Yoongi said “We could go to the studio and drink?”

“That sounds like a lot of fun,” You smiled at the door, a few drinks and a deep and meaningful conversation in private to cover the issues that had rose between you. You were trying to deal with your problems instead of running away, but it was always hard to remember especially in the heat of the moment when all you wanted was to run away from the conflict. “Would you um… be able to pick me up, I can send my location?’’

“Of course, I will pick you up along the way,” He paused “Is everything alright? You left in quite a hurry?” 

“Yeah things were pretty bad but they are better now, I am really excited” You smiled “I just want to relax”

“I am leaving now I will only be a few minutes,” Yoongi assured you, the faint sound of his keys jingling in his hands through the phone. You didn’t hang up and he coughed “Uh, do you need anything else?”

“No, I just miss you and don’t want you to go” You whispered blushing and he cleared his throat trying to act like he didn’t care but you could tell from his voice that he would be blushing.

“I will be there soon, hang up” He whined and you giggled wanting to see what he would do when you didn’t, “Fine, let me put the bluetooth on so I can drive”

You giggled hearing him grumbling but you knew it was all for show, he was trying to act tough when really he was just as reluctant to hang up as you were. You said good night to Misha and her Father and stepped out the front, it wasn’t long until Yoongi arrived in the dark van. 

You climbed in and he drove to the BigHit building where he showed his ID unnecessarily to the security, who waved him in after seeing his face. Yoongi pulled into the underground parking garage and the two of you stepped out hands full of bags of Alcohol and snacks. 

Crossing the parking lot and stepping into the basement corridor with the elevators you grinned taking Yoongi’s hand and racing down the corridor to your secret base. 

He watched you curiously and he pulled a key out from around his neck, your jaw dropped, he did not keep the secret base key around his neck. “How long have you been wearing that?”

“Since we had them made, Namjoon got the locks changed and we each got a key” Yoongi frowned “Oh I wasn’t supposed to tell you it was a surprise”

“It’s okay, I can act surprised and I am genuinely happy” You sniffed feeling your eyes water.

“I think we need something to drink” He led you inside and you saw the place was decorated beautifully. The furniture was new, there was a plush rug and a coffee table, everything was pristine. The boys’ art was on the wall and then there was a wall of their albums which had been sitting in the merch pile for a long time. 

As you walked along you noticed the plants, “They are indoor plants that don’t need much more than a bit of light, Namjoon comes in here often and waters the plants. “We have started doing our live streams in here too”

“it is looking really nice,” you saw the guitar in the corner and smiled, “Who is playing?”

“I am painting. I was supposed to do a live stream tonight,” He sighed. 

“I want to see you play” You whispered, “I will sit behind the camera”

“Fine, but it won’t be long cause I want to relax,” he said as he took a seat and set up the camera and he began slowly talking and playing random songs at one point he started singing and you wanted to melt on the couch opposite him.

It wasn’t a particularly long live stream but it was a beautiful moment that you would cherish, the way he strummed passionately the notes filling the space and your head. Perhaps you had had too many drinks off camera you felt fluttering in your tummy that could have been from the sweet alcohol or the sweet notes from the young man serenading you and all the other fans present.

He signed off and turned the phone completely off with a sigh, “I get paranoid that the live hasn’t ended so I switch everything off completely.”

He reached for a drink only to see they were all empty and you buried your flushed face in your hands, making him sigh. “You should have some water and then a nap?”

He was true to his word, getting you some water and he led you to the daybed and tucked you in, “I will be in the studio, if you need me?”

“Wait, stay here until I sleep please,” You pleaded and he sighed, taking the guitar and casually strumming while you fell asleep. He had struck gold while you were drifting. He had written a whole new song that he was itching to produce and present to you.

“Thank you love,” he whispered, pulling the blanket up higher on your chest and brushing your heated cheeks with the pad of his thumb. “You have given me so much to live for, I don’t know how but you make my world feel a little more warmer”


	76. 23-10-2020

You woke feeling simultaneously the best and worst you have ever been in your life. There was something about the way you just knew everything was okay amidst the feelings of sickness from the previous night’s drinking endeavour. 

You went to sit up when you felt Yoongi sleeping, his head resting on the daybed as he sat on the floor. If the fans knew that the boys were human like this would it burst their bubble of this so called perfect men. Or would it be the fact that you were in the picture that would ruin the picture. 

Perhaps they would be okay with their idols being human as long as you weren’t the reason. Everyone since they are young wishes to sing and dance and act and be popular and rich and famous, it is conditioned that if you aren’t those things you are nothing.

But you have finally realized how comfortable you are in your little bubble. Sure, you had your dance career you loved and strived for and you would be lying if you still don’t imagine yourself on a stage performing. If you could one day dance again you would dance for you in your room in the studio and close your eyes and pretend there was an audience and that was enough.

The idea that what you were doing, what the boys were doing was for themselves and their happiness is much more important than these roles and expectations that are put on people. As long as something brings you joy then that is all that matters, it’s no longer a chore, if it brings you happiness it isn’t a job. If it brings you love, it’s not something you should hide.

Brushing your hands through Yoongi’s hair, “I used to dream that some handsome young man would fall in love with me and we would be together. I used to dream I would sing and dance on stage in musicals. I dreamt of fame and fortune and I watched all those dreams crash and burn as I got older”

“I am sorry I am not handsome.” He yawned with a sneaky smile “But I am really rich”

“Are you kidding me, you boys are out here defying my expectations, making me feel like maybe it’s okay to have dreams” You whispered “There is something so fairytale about this whole situation” 

“You can be a princess,” Yoongi sat up, stretching his back, “We are all at your mercy anyway”

“Yoongi, we have to talk about that phone call and what you said,” You whispered and he froze coming to sit beside you, “That was easy?”

“I don’t want to but, I know you are right, we are both learning and I guess it helps that you are so open and unbiased with your feelings, the fact that you know our downfalls and have stuck by us deserves effort from us to work just as hard to maintain good communication.” He rubbed his face unable to look at you, “In plain words, I was wrong and rude to use that against you, I knew it would hurt you and I wanted you to hurt because I hurt at the idea you didn’t want us anymore, at the thought you would leave and put our relationship second to your brother and his girlfriend”

“It was selfish,” You took his hand in yours and smiled gently asking him to look at you and when he did you kissed his lips softly.

“I am glad you were honest with me. Maybe next time we can work on voicing our feelings instead of retaliating and hurting each other, it’s something we both have to work on.” You sighed kissing him again “We aren’t mind readers and it’s a relationship meaning more than one person communication is what is going to get us through these rough times”

“I keep breaking my promises, I keep promising not to hurt you and then I turn around and say something stupid and ruin it” He mumbled watching you drawing patterns on his palms. “I don’t want to hurt you, I want you to be happy with me”

“I understand that and as long as you apologize and you are open and honest about your feelings, I think I might be forgiving everytime,” You were quick to add a clause, “Only if you don’t actually mean to hurt me, if you say something in the heat of the moment I will forgive you if we talk it out, if you have malicious intent or you know it will hurt me, I might not be so forgiving”

“Ultimately I don’t want to hurt you at all so let’s work on open and honest discussions,” He stood up holding out his hand to help you up off the daybed. “We could talk every night if you would like before bed, it makes me feel lighter talking to you”

“But for now let’s get coffee,” He said, rising from the daybed where the two of you had been discussing rather important matters. There was a sense of relief that came with being honest about their feelings.

Yoongi led you both to the service elevator and out onto the street where you strolled along towards the cafe where Wendy usually worked. Walking inside you saw Wendy’s plum coloured curls tied with a brilliant emerald green head scarf. She rushed over to take your order, her broccoli earrings dangling as she bounded over excited.

“Hello Wendy,” You grinned, taking in the gorgeous green and gold eyeshadow Wendy was sporting. “You look good today, what is the occasion?”

“I was just feeling a little sexy this morning, I thought I could put in some fun accessories, broccoli has got me feeling a little mother nature a little poison ivy” Wendy gave a cheeky grin eyeing you and the mysterious figure covered in a black cap and face mask.

You didn’t miss the look Wendy gave or the way she mouthed ‘who is he?’.

“Wendy this is my uh… this is” You froze confused leaning across the table “How do I introduce you to my friends?”

“With the truth,” He laughed awkwardly, “I am Yoongi, Y/n’s boyfriend”

“Oh my god!” Wendy slapped a hand over her mouth looking left and right and shrinking so she was close to the table, you and Yoongi leant in as well on instinct. “you are dating, Yoongi from BTS, you sly girl, can you help me meet Mark from NCT.”

You were stunned Yoongi even more so it was like a second of dread and then a punch line you weren’t expecting.


	77. 24-10-2020

The boys sang We are bulletproof: The eternal and Jungkook’s eyes met yours over the camera as he sang the last few lines. You felt like he was talking to you personally with the way he smirked.

They all waved goodbye to the camera before rushing up the fake mountain that sort of resembled the pride rock from the Lion King. The camera’s shut off on que from the director and the boys moved slowly across the stage passing you by each one of them glistening in sweat but their eyes were sparkling with happiness.

You followed after the boys getting some towels and water and helping hands them around, you took ice packs and went around offering incase someone was hurt injured or in pain. “Did you like it?” Jimin said laying on the ground ice pressed to certain joints just as a precaution for any swelling that might occur from overuse.

“I did Jiminie, what type of Assistant manager would I be if I wasn’t watching how you performed?” You grinned, grabbing a small towel and sitting beside him as he tried to calm his racing heart from the concert.

You ended up drying the sweat off his face, neck, and chest and gently pouring water into his mouth so he didn’t have to move. After a while when the panting in the room stopped you opened your phone playing videos for Jimin to watch whilst on the ground. 

The group thanked the staff, camera crew and producers and dragged you off to their bus where Jimin convinced you into the seat beside him and you were happily humming letting him lay back across your lap. The boys were exhausted and tired and there was nothing you wanted more than to take care of them. When they came home you made them rest in their rooms and prepared them some fresh cut fruit and glasses of cold ice water to help them feel refreshed.

You ended up falling asleep with a needy Taehyung who couldn’t let you go. This was not a bad thing except it made getting up and ready for the next day that much harder. 

Why were you getting up so early?

You had your first class, you left quickly unable to prepare breakfast or you would be late. The class was good. They started from the basics and you were feeling really confident, until you crossed campus to biology, chemistry, and anatomy and physiology. That’s when you felt like you were in over your head.

But you took notes and spent the afternoon reading at the library having turned your phone off ignoring the boys while you caught up reading the textbook and taking notes trying to process what was discussed in the class that afternoon and what would be discussed in the next week’s class. You had googled and watched youtube videos explaining each aspect you were confused on until it all clicked in your head. With a grin you had finished the next week’s work and looked at the time.

3pm

You could definitely move on to the following week’s work and get ahead of everything, you started and you had finished the homework book for the science subjects and was ready to head home. When the military said they would pay for your things and brought you a stack of books as tall as you were you thought they were crazy but you were beginning to thank them for the help, you would definitely sit and read what you needed to know in order to get through this degree.

You obviously wanted to know as much as you could before starting your internship, it wouldn’t be good to just jump right into something and get someone killed, you obviously had done it before but with heavy guidance from Doctor Chang and the circumstances called for it.

Now you were obligated to study and learn in order to practice medicine legally and uphold standards as people had the right to safe medical practices. You finally packed up your books and headed to the entrance of the library, your phone in your hand trying to text the group chat for someone to come get you.

You had been so concerned with your phone you didn’t notice the person in front of you until you bumped straight into them dropping all your books. Taking a moment to restack books you apologized to the other girl who picked up her books with a huff and took off out of the library as well.

Your phone dinged with an alert, Hoseok was coming to pick you up. You smiled walking out into the car park, you saw the girl and her posse waiting for the bus. Feeling like perhaps they were talking about you, you tried to smooth out your hair and skirt when you heard a honk of a horn.

Turning to the waiting bay you saw Hoseok in the driver’s seat grinning waving at you, the car was beautiful unlike the van the boys usually took and your jaw dropped. Hoseok leaned out the window wearing a cap and mask, you ran over and pulled down his mask and kissed him. He took your books and twisted in the driver’s seat to place them on the back seat. 

Running around the car you threw open the door, just as you went to jump in you caught sight of the girls glaring at you whispering under your breath. Trying not to dwell on them and their gossip only guessing the type of things they were insinuating. You slipped onto the leather seat and Hoseok laced your fingers together bringing the back of your hand to his mouth where he placed a soft kiss and drove off at a ridiculous speed.

“How was your day?” He smiled “You didn’t tell us you were starting classes this week or we would have been there for you, the boys said they wanted to have dinner tonight but the boys are packing to go record their performance for billboard tomorrow we leave tonight.”

You nodded thinking about wanting to get more school work completed and perhaps this would be a good thing, so you weren’t distracted “Do I need to come with you? You know as your assistant manager”

“No,” He laughed squeezing your hand “Since there is no audience and that because of the pandemic it makes things easier, so normally yes but for now you are free to concentrate on your school work.”


	78. 25-10-2020

When you reached the boys apartment you found yourself stepping into something you could only describe as organized chaos. There were suitcases in the lounge and yet there was a small cupcake and one portion worth of dinner and side dishes. 

“Congratulations on your first day of school” They cheered, and you dropped your bag. The books had been taken from your hands from Jin who made a face. 

“What are you trying to do?” He scoffed dropping the books on the counter top with an emphasized thud. He hit his fist against his back and shoulder being dramatic and everyone laughed.

“Carrying those books around you will beat me in an arm wrestle Noona” Jungkook replied cheekily, the boys sat talking for a few minutes before they received a text from their manager.

They all bid you adieu before heading out the door, leaving you in the empty dining room with a half finished dinner and a lot on your mind. Honestly you thought you would be lonely or even bored but it was peaceful on your own and your head was filled with your school work and determination.

~

After the delicious dinner and cupcake, you were excited to get stuck into work, you spent the night focusing on one class which was biology which you thought was a great place to start. Sitting in Namjoon’s office working in his comfortable desk chair. Losing track of the time you rubbed at your eyes which were itchy, noticing that the room had gotten a little lighter as the sun was rising.

You laughed not having pulled an all nighters since you were younger, taking a moment you began stretching on the bed making sure you thoroughly warmed up the muscles that had gotten stiff. 

Bookmark in place you decided to take a shower and get ready for the day. Heading to the kitchen you could practically hear the boys saying how important it is for you to have a filling breakfast to start the day. 

Slicing up different fruits you put them over some yoghurt and went back to your laptop where you had been transcribing notes. You were actually getting the hang of it and hoped it would forever be this easy. The week was rather productive and you had actually finished a fare portion of your work while also, visiting Doctor Lee and participating in your physio sessions with Han.

As the week was coming to a close, you met with Wendy and Misha for your friday fun day as Wendy so lovingly dubbed your weekly scheduled hang out. “This is the place,”

The three of you headed into the Karaoke buying the room for three hours and singing to your heart's content. It was relieving to let out some energy from the minor stress that was studying. It felt good to stop thinking and enjoy yourself.

The group had a lot of fun taking photos and singing songs when Misha sighed, “I don’t know if I will get into the university I have been hoping for, I graduate in a month and well my grades aren’t horrible but they aren’t spectacular”

You listened comforting the young girl and thinking about the boys, they would be returning home and you had left your bra and shorts on the couch, while you were trying to get comfortable watching movies the night prior.

Feeling your cheeks heat up you tried to push away the thoughts of the boys coming home to see your laundry. Dinner was filled with swooning as Wendy explained that her boss had proposed. The two had been dating for four years. Heading home on such a high note you were bubbling with the excitement of seeing the boys you had honestly forgot about you washing.

Finally you had your name listed as a resident and therefore were allowed through the front gate of Hannam the hill. You were singing in the elevator and arrived at their apartment, pressing your thumb to the lock pad and it buzzed to life, a little green light flashing.

Stepping inside your jaw dropped, there was Jin standing in all his broad shouldered glory. He was wearing dark trousers and a pink sweater but was also adorned in your denim shorts and red lace bra, he hadn’t seen you too busy laughing like he was aggressively scrubbing a mirror.

“Why are you so embarrassed about my bra Jungkook, don’t you think I look pretty?” The group was laughing, you hummed catching the door before it made a noise and pulled out your phone recording. You would definitely get some use out of this video. Whenever you were feeling stressed from school work you could hit play and smile at your light hearted boys.

Rushing passed the group quietly to Namjoon’s room, where you had kept your suitcase you stripped off into one of Namjoon’s shirts. Collecting all the bras packed in your suitcase before you snuck behind the couch throwing them at the boys.

“What the heck?” Hoseok laughed “Brassier” 

You were giggling too hard, that meant you were easily found by the group, who didn’t hesitate to throw your bras right back at you, “Why didn’t you tell us you were home?” Seokjin shouted his ears, chest and neck bright red.

“You were enjoying yourself Jin and honestly red suits you,” You giggled, “I am however a little offended at how you think I sound. Either you are terrible at impersonations or I screech like a cat”

Yoongi casually started picking up your bras and hanging the straps on his finger inspecting each one and pausing on a pretty black one with lots of sparkles and Diamontes which seemed to catch his eye. 

Humming appreciatively he continued picking up the undergarments before handing them back to you, “I like this one, it matches my microphone” He was an honest guy, and he didn’t really see anything embarrassing or suggestive about the item. Not to say he didn’t know the appeal, it was only a bit of fabric to him you guessed, but you knew if you put it on he would like it that much more.

“Sorry I left the house a mess,” You carried your washing away down the hall before quickly returning “I honestly didn’t think you would arrive back home and I would have time to clean”

“It’s good to know you are comfortable and that you have been eating, though perhaps we will leave you with some food as you can’t live off ramen every time we leave.” Jimin mumbled “It would make you sick”

“I can and will and you can’t stop me” you pouted hands crossed over your chest and Jimin pinned your arms and tickled your sides “okay, okay.”

“Okay?” Jimin raised an eyebrow leaning down to be eye to eye with you he had a smirk on his face.

“I will try to eat better when you go away” You huffed

“Better yet come with us,” Taehyung laughed


	79. 23-11-2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am finished up to 80 & 80.1 and will be continuing to write to finish the story honestly things are getting really good.

It was a workday and honestly, things weren’t going too well. When you first started, the online concert was pretty much planned, meaning you were just sitting pretty in the corner, waiting to help but no one really expected anything from you as you were so new. 

But this time, you felt helpful, you fetched costumes and props for their new music videos that would come out in November. You also helped run errands and liaison between the crew members for example taking messages back and forth between lighting, sound, and the boys about their cues.

You were on your latest mission, to retrieve a shirt from costumes and bring it back. As this was a film studio, it was built for huge sets so most of the doors led to unused changing rooms. Some were filled with hair and makeup others held the prop teams or the staff and extra’s taking a break between sets and takes. 

Heading down the wide corridor, you had a long trek to get from set to the costume department. The journey was pretty good; you gave hellos and waves behind your mask whenever you passed someone. The boys would wave at you when you passed and sometimes help you run the errands when they could. 

“I am just picking up Jungkook’s new shirt from costume for the next scene,” you said, ducking your head into the boy’s change rooms where they sat, chatting. 

“It’s my shirt, I think I can help you carry it back,” Jungkook raced after you as you started down the white corridor, sliding down your shades. The flickering fluorescent lights were blinding. He turned to face you, never missing a step; the man was a dancer after all. Only he could walk backward and still look effortless doing it. “Did you see the choreography I did earlier in rehearsal? Did you think it was good? I tried something new.”

You were trying to look over his shoulder, trying to make sure he didn’t trip or run into anyone. “Uh… no sorry, I was having a talk with the lighting guy.” Though you wished you had seen the rehearsal, you knew that you were working hard to prove you deserved this job. When his head came into view, you couldn’t help but huff a small laugh and tilt the other way to look around him. “I can’t wait to see the finished product. I know you boys have been practicing a lot.”

His head tilted back into your view, obviously feeling playful. You quickly leaned the other way to peer over his broad shoulder again only to have his head follow, catching your eyes and not letting them go. “You like the job, love? The best part is we can have moments like this all day, every day and no one will suspect a thing.”

He made an elaborate spin and fell into step beside you, slipping his hand down from your elbow to your hand, his fingers stroking across your palm and settling between your own. You traveled down the corridor until you reached the costume department where they were making elaborate last-minute changes to the costumes.

“Good morning, I am here to pick up Jungkook’s shirt?” You smiled, glad that Jungkook waited in the hall. Though they were staff and professionals, you knew, or at least assumed, his presence would interrupt their job. Even if he was your boyfriend, — one of the seven — he was still a world-famous Idol.

“Sure, here it is! While you’re at it, would you be able to take this bag up to the props department? It’s just some clothes they need for the background of the shop scene.”

“Of course,” You smiled, securing the heavy bag of prop clothes in your hand and the fancy shirt of Jungkook’s in the other. Stepping back into the corridor, you could hear them almost gushing about how cool foreigners were; how you were straight to the point and wearing sunglasses inside. You didn’t know whether you should blush or work on your professional image.

Feeling accomplished and somewhat useful, you felt like everything they threw at you, you could do it with enthusiasm. Deciding to leave the overthinking and critical analysis to later when you were home alone with a glass of wine, you focussed on the task at hand as Jungkook snatched the bag from you, leaving you with just the shirt and a light conversation to carry down the halls. Even if the rest of your day was spent getting coffee for the boys and the crew, it was still nice to spend a little time feeling important.

During your lunch break, you called Misha, asking her how things have been going. She sounded so happy as she eagerly told stories about shopping with Wendy. “We found this pretty shirt. Wendy thought it would be cool to get matching jackets but like we didn’t know if you would be into that but if you are, let us know…. Oh, and I forgot to tell you the best news. I did well on my tests! I was in the top ten students in the grade!”

“Misha, that is wonderful, I am proud. You are a genius,” you choked for a minute on your lunch, trying to wash down the rice with a swig of juice, “I can’t wait you will be going off to university S in a few months” 

“Well, dad and I are thinking of perhaps taking a break between now and Uni, just so I can have some time to transition in peace.” Misha sounded so excitable with the way she was gushing on the phone barely taking a breath. “Dad has been super supportive; he has been reading books and watching documentaries and using all the right pronouns and stuff! I can’t believe that before all this, I really thought he didn’t care about me, that he only cared about his job but I know now how wrong I was. The only reason he was in this job was to support us the best he could.”

“You deserve the best Misha, you are an absolute angel,” you smiled, thinking about how at the start of the pandemic, not six months prior, you carried this moody teen, who was scared and in pain, through the fog. Your only thought at the time was that if anything should come from your suffering, it would be that this child thrives and is happy. 

If you could help one person like Misha find themselves and become happy, then you were definitely choosing the right career. You were proud of yourself for being a part of this, but more importantly, you were proud of Misha for her discovery and her willpower on her journey.

“I will be with you every step of the way Misha, you are beautiful and strong. I will always praise you on your achievements, whether it is something big or something small,” You sniffed, tears falling, the emotions pouring from you. “I am sorry, I am so emotional.”

“Hey, Y/n!” A voice shouted, gesturing you back inside.

“Misha, I got to go, they need me, let’s hang out soon.” Even though it was a short conversation, it really lifted your spirits.


	80. 23-11-2020

Arriving at class early, you dropped your bag under your desk, feeling exhausted. You had skipped out on coffee as ‘that girl’ was there. She was in all of your classes and though she was polite, it seemed fake. You kept to yourself; honestly, you really had no time for that right now.

It was not detrimental to your life that this person liked you; that’s the thing - sometimes, some people just love to hate and you are the target. The best thing to do was to forget about them, be civil and polite, but out of sight, out of mind. When they left your presence, they shouldn’t occupy your thoughts if you didn’t occupy theirs. Especially considering there were nicer things to fill your mind with like thoughts of your very handsome boyfriends and Misha’s transition. Truly, things were going great who cared if this one busty brunette wanted to start drama, you wouldn’t react to it.

Her name was Seo-Yeon. Always well dressed, she could be found talking to the professors before and after class. At least it seemed like she was putting in the effort in her work to get good grades.

“In week thirteen, we will be presenting group presentations on ethics in nursing. I will post the groups onto the online forum in two days, so please make sure you get in touch with your group members there, or you can exchange numbers in class, whatever is easier.” She sighed, dismissing the class as she stood and packed up her things.

The professor was a lovely woman, very professional and chic. “You work as a team; that means if you are having trouble, do something about it, don’t sit around and let the work rot, understood?”

Your phone buzzed with a notification from your group chat. It was a cute picture from Namjoon; he was posing in what appeared to be a bathroom mirror in the BigHit building. Raising your phone, you took a quick selfie to send back, however, the sound of the camera click had you wilting in embarrassment. Quickly gathering your things, you left as fast as you could to the library. 

The campus was huge and luckily, everyone was wearing masks and adhering to the government safety regulations. Using the hands-free sanitizer spray, you stepped into the library, rubbing the alcohol solution into every crevice between your fingers. Wondering how the world was coping, you couldn’t comprehend other people’s situations as you weren’t there. Maybe you would do a bit of research on the state of things when you finally got inside.

Even scanning your University ID into the little computer felt like another unnecessary task. Sometimes you wished you could cut corners but you knew the importance and that sometimes, you have to make sacrifices for the things you wanted. A few extra minutes to get into the library seemed like a reasonable cost for preventing a worldwide pandemic. Stepping up to the mark on the floor, you awaited your health screening - the final step to being allowed into the Library. Once your temperature was taken by a forehead scanner and there was no evidence of a fever, you ventured further inside. 

The place was quite busy so your next mission was to find a seat. You were actually lucky enough to score a seat from someone who just started packing up. Getting settled into the space, you spread out your books and opened your laptop and notebook. 

Partway through your studying, someone bumped into your chair, accidentally spilling their cold coffee on your white shirt. You looked up to see the young man apologize profusely, trying desperately to wipe the coffee stains from your blouse. You tried to reassure him and you watched him walk away quickly, heading straight for a group of girls at a large table. You almost got ready to forget the incident, reserved to the fact that you’d have to change when you saw amidst the table of women was Seo-Yeon, who handed the young man a handful of money.

This area of the library was used solely for studying and everyone was too busy studying to care about what happened. A flash of anger filled you and for a brief moment, you contemplated ripping your shirt off over your head; you were wearing a crop top, and where you grew up, it was not uncommon for people to wear midriffs or tank tops. Instead, you exhaled, trying to calm yourself before you snapped a pouty picture for the boys, hoping that they would understand that your day wasn’t going very well. It seemed you set off a few hotheads in the group and you had to mute the chat. 

After almost 2 hours and many back cramps later, you were startled by a cough beside you. You turned to see, in a hat, mask, and sunglasses was a very fine-looking Seokjin. His shoulders were so broad in his white button-up and his tight black pants sat snug on his waist.

“This place is like Fort Knox, I waited in line for thirty minutes,” he huffed, handing you a paper bag and gestured to the bathroom. He took your seat so that no one would steal your things or worse your seat. 

Heading into the bathroom, you wondered what Seokjin had brought you, hoping that it wasn’t some outrageous outfit. It wasn’t. Everything was luxury brands and you blushed as you slipped the items on. There was no doubt in your mind who chose this outfit for you; it was all very high-end fashion and Taehyung and Hoseok were nothing if not bougie.

Feeling like a princess, the sweet pink dress framed your body delicately. The fabric was so soft and flowed around you with every step. Seokjin was breathless. “The others are waiting in the car, do you want to come home early?”

“I shouldn’t, I really need to keep studying,” You protested, jaw-dropping as Jimin’s figure could be seen strutting into the library, gaining unwanted attention. If a few people had been staring at Seokjin, everyone was staring at Jimin, dressed to kill and walking like he wanted nothing more than to do just that.

“Where is this punk who bumped into you?” He called, his Busan satoori filling the silent study space. You know he was doing this on purpose, trying to intimidate the guy. Seo-Yeon and her friends a few tables away seemed to lean forward in their seats, eyes trained on Jimin’s form, whispering amongst themselves. 

“You look stunning, let’s go.” He kissed you without hesitation before throwing you over his shoulder.

“Wait, I have to study,” You whined, flailing for your things. Seokjin nodded, scooping everything up and chasing after Jimin. Your giggles were promptly shushed by fellow students and the librarian reserved a harsh glare that had Jimin bowing apologetically before racing out the door.

“You are creating a scene,” Seokjin pouted. This is why he was sent in; the others were too loud and dramatic. “What if people recognize us? it was supposed to be m e.”


	81. 24-11-2020

Doctor Chang smiled, watching you mess with your new uniform. He had a funny look in his eye, like remembering an inside joke. It was nice to see him so happy, like the effects of the quarantine and lack of sleep had all been reversed since the lockdown. You were glad he was able to bounce back so quickly; it was honestly impressive.

There was something in the back of your mind that felt like it was closing in on you but you were trying to push it away, trying to train all of your focus into concentrating on the practical skills you were expected to learn. At least you were comfortable in the clinic; having spent time there during the lockdown had you familiar with the layout and staff.

“Alright, today we are going through all the basics. I will have you go through the steps of documentation and the patient’s rights, and then we will learn how to administer basic injections. Don’t worry, it won’t be on real people.” He smiled, pulling out an artificial, flimsy arm you could use.

You were sitting in the corner, listening to Doctor Chang walk you through what to do with different patients and conditions, and techniques of nursing. “Sometimes we can’t provide cures, sometimes all we can do is ease the pain and this is an important lesson that you must never forget.”

You nodded, filing it away. You couldn’t help but imagine some of the boys suffering through chronic pain. It was true; some conditions could never be cured, perhaps not even your own. However, even though you couldn’t cure the boy's pain, you could definitely be there to support them, tend to them and try to ease their suffering. “I am sure it means a lot to the patients at that moment to receive some relief,” you commented.

“Exactly.” He grinned, putting a chart away between patients, “Do you know what the job of a doctor is?”

“A doctor’s job is to restore mental and physical health to their patients via experienced medicine and a qualified education.” You practically recited your textbooks, the words printed into your head.

“That’s the textbook definition, yes,” He nodded slowly, turning to you and rubbing his chin which was neatly shaven unlike when you had last seen the doctor. “What about in your own words?” 

“I don’t know how to put it into words. It’s more of a concept of helping make people happy and healthy when possible and it’s complicated. I think I am still learning what it means,” your voice trailed off and you winced. You sounded pathetic and unprepared.

“That’s perfectly fine, I believe even I am still learning what it means to be a doctor. Never stop learning. Something I will tell you are the famous words we doctors live by and I want you to remember them, no matter the situation, no matter the patient or the circumstances. Remember these words” Doctor Chang said with a serious face, “Do no harm.”

“Do no harm?” You hummed, pondering the statement and likening it to medical situations, understanding the depths of the words, before nodding back. “That is very important”

“You will find many situations that come up that will make you second guess those words, but live by them, even if you wish to save someone. If you put someone at risk then you are not a doctor. Sometimes people can’t be saved. It’s sad but that’s life.” He peered into his coffee cup, noticing it was empty. Frowning, he gave a stretch, standing up from his chair. “We are not gods, we have no magical powers, we do what we know. If you don’t know how to do heart surgery, don’t do it, otherwise, you will only endanger the patient.”

He stood before you and held out his hand. “You are a really good teacher,” You laughed, as he pulled you to your feet, the two of you ventured out of the office to the kitchenette where he looked over your notes while the coffee brewed.

“You are very concise, that’s good. After this, let me teach you how to do some fancy stitches,” He grinned. When you returned to the office, he picked up the small soft pouch full of silicone wounds and packed a suture kit, and passed it to you, making sure to initial the module in our workbook, stating that you were, in fact, competent. “Take these home to practice. Even when you’re comfortable, keep doing it.”

“I will, thank you.”

It was during a consultation with a patient that you and Doctor Chang noticed something odd. The patient's voice was a little slurred, and you couldn’t catch what he was saying. Doctor Chang immediately checked the man's vitals, frowning the entire time. He seemed to confirm something and call the front desk, asking for an ambulance. Sitting up straighter, you watched, confused, and intrigued. It wasn’t until the two paramedics wheeled a gurney in that you realized what could be wrong.

“A stroke?” You asked, catching Doctor Chang’s eyes and he nodded solemnly, waiting with you in the hallway.

“It’s often misdiagnosed but people at this age are more prone. The younger they are, the harder it is to diagnose.” He checked his watch. “You can head home now, it’s three. Your prac shift is over, but I will see you again soon.”

When you finally stepped out of the clinic, the bag in hand, Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jungkook were waiting in the parking lot. Jungkook was in the driver's seat, door open and the three of them looked like they were thoroughly enjoying their ice cream, oblivious to you approaching. You knock on the van door and Yoongi’s eyes snapped to yours. He helped you in and Namjoon handed you an ice cream, which you accepted gratefully, though it had obviously been defrosting for too long.

Struggling with the rapidly melting dessert, you told them about your day and asked them about theirs. They explained that they were going to be shooting concept videos and photos for their new album. You couldn’t wait to be a part of the process; it would be something you would treasure, fInally getting to work with the boys and actually make a difference.

As Jungkook drove, you checked the online class noticeboard and found your group members, sighing deeply when you saw the name Seo-Yeon.


	82. 29-11-2020

It was the start of the photoshoot for ‘BE’ the new album. The director was in charge of making sure everything fit the aesthetic of the pandemic. But it wasn’t really what you expected, everything was just too glam. That being said you weren’t really anyone important so you didn’t feel like saying anything would do anything or have an impact. 

So you fetched costumes and makeup pallets, took out rubbish, collected delivery food and ordered coffee from the van. It took a while to carry the drinks in one by one. Upon return you found the director standing beside a tall woman the two talking fondly. 

Trying to find an opening within their conversation to hand him his coffee order, you heard the young woman call him ‘appa’. “Ah, sir, I have your coffee” You smiled handing over the cardboard cup and froze momentarily. It was her. Seo-Yeon turned to you, her smile turning sinister. 

“I will just get the next costumes ready,” you nodded to the two and left, it was better to walk away, not to get involved. That’s what you told yourself. Walking down the hall you came across the boy’s dressing room and slipped inside.

Jungkook smiled offering you some of his toasted sandwich, they were all talking about the concept asking you questions. “Did you like my pictures?” Jimin asked, leaning down over your shoulder to eat some of Jungkook’s toasted sandwich.

“Uh, yeah they were nice,” you smiled trying to think about something else other than school-work which you were reminded of because of Seo-Yeon. 

“Nice?” Jimin wilted noticeably. 

“Yeah everyone looks really nice, it’s just well,” you turned so you were facing the entire room, all the boys’ eyes were on you. “It’s meant to be an album that expresses the struggles of the pandemic and that life goes on and we are all facing the same hardships. It just seems a little insincere, a little too glam. While others are stuck in their rooms you are all taking photos in suits.”

They all thought for a moment, “Yeah, I thought it was a bit much, but we will see what the photographer and director come up with before we decide on changing anything. I know we have to give the army some really good clean concept photos but otherwise, the army will be upset with the pictures.

You nodded looking around the group all dressed up nicely in their suits, you looked in the mirror and fixed your hair puffing your cheeks out a little annoyed. You weren’t feeling it today and there was nothing wrong with that. Someday’s people just don’t feel as confident or as pretty as they usually do and that’s okay.

Today was just not your day. Puffing your cheeks out, before stealing your expression, you had to be ready to go back out there. There was a knock at the door and Jungkook, pulled you into a change room and lifted you onto the seat so for any reason your legs wouldn’t appear under the door.

You heard the director enter followed by Seo-Yeon who he promptly introduced, “You all look amazing out there.” You rolled your eyes and sat waiting for everyone to leave. It wouldn’t be odd for the director to see you with the boys as he knew you were their assistant manager, however, his daughter Seo-Yeon would not see this the same way. 

It wouldn’t be good to be caught knowing or even interacting with the boys as she may get the wrong idea or even cause you more trouble at school. The last thing you needed was for her to recognize the boys from when they picked you up from the library and have rumours grow right before the release of their new album. 

Jungkook watched your face and how you reacted to what the young woman was saying, “So, do you boys, get to hang out much. It must be hard when there are fans and paparazzi around trying to take your photo and start rumours.”

“Yeah, it is kind of difficult,” Seokjin hummed, not really interested, but using his polite tone.

“If you ever wanted to go to a couple of exclusive parties to relax, my father and I hold a few a year the guest list is pretty tight but we can probably fit you in.” She was flirting you could tell by the coy tone of her voice.

The boys laughed and through the small crack in the door, you saw her getting a little too close to Hoseok, being a little too forward. Hoseok didn’t seem to notice and Jimin was blatantly flirting back which made you a little upset. 

Jungkook grabbed your chin turning your head from the scene playing through the thin slither of the door and to his big doe eyes looking deeply into yours looking amused. “Don’t be jealous, jagiya,” his whisper was deep and kind of husky due to the low and breathy sound he was trying to create.

“I’m not jealous,” You breathed and he suppressed a giggle trying not to give anything away. He gently tilted your chin up leaning in when there was a knock on the door. The two of you pulled back, your head colliding with the wall he held your head and pulled you into his chest where you closed your mouth tightly to keep from whining.

“Hey Jungkook, we are just getting some coffee, we will be back soon,” Yoongi said through the thin wood before footsteps could be heard walking away.

“Yeah, I will be out in a minute, get my usual.” He smiled kissing the crown of your head trying to make the pain going away


	83. 29-11-2020 SMUT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a SMUT do not read unless over the legal age.

He was close and smelt like the softest fresh linen, he cupped the back of your head smiling fondly when you winced at the tender spot you had aggressively through into the wall. His fingertips gently massaged the area, pressing into the scalp just enough to make the pain lessen and a tingling sensation spread like warm water being poured down your back. 

The door outside the change room clicked shut firmly in it’s latch and you felt an electric charge pulse through you both, you and Jungkook had long awaited to resolve the tension between you both. It was becoming harder and harder to breath these days with how strong it was growing.

You were still sitting crossed on the bench to prevent peeping eyes to see your legs in the gap of the change room door. Jungkook’s hands rested on your knees, his eyes flickering between yours, he was looking for an answer, but it seemed more of an internal struggle than something he could search for in your features.

Whatever he was searching for, his eyes quickly regained their focus and settled onto yours boring deep into you, seeing through you and he wasn’t repulsed. He softened his hands sliding down from your knees, along the seam of your outer thigh and sliding under your butt where he lifted you. Pinned to one of the many mirrored walls he stepped between your thighs, the curve of his pubic bone pressed firmly against the apex, pressing you into the wall so as to make it easier to hold you. The two of you were a series of giggles and soft hands as you tried to stay quiet. Jungkook was growing harder against you and groaned when he tried to readjust you up the wall. You wiggled from his grasp and sat on the bench once more. 

Your hands moving to his hips and nimble fingers making short work of the button and zip on the tight suit pants. He pressed his palm flat to the wall above you, his breath shaking quietly. 

“Please” he whispered softly running his fingers through your hair, whining into his sleeve. It was a cute sound, you wanted to hear it again, wanted to make him feel special. Taking him in your hand you gave a firm squeeze, running your thumb on the underside. Looking up to see him biting his jacket sleeve. 

It was time for you to take him in your mouth, sliding your tongue over him a few times and letting him grow accustomed to your lips and tongue before settling him into your mouth. Sliding your hands up his shirt and letting your hands brush over his abs and pectorals pressing into his soft skin and kneading the muscles underneath.

“Ah,” he choked on the sound, you weren’t ready to let him get what he wanted, edging him on and off as best you could and he panted the mirror in the dressing room fogging up with every exhale. “Fuck please,”

Undoing the top buttons of your dress and undoing the front clasp of your bra, he looked down at you his innocent eyes turned into a sexy glare, and moaned with pure elation before his hands cupped your breasts massaging them and indulging in the sight as he pressed them together. 

You decided to let him finish cupping and massaging his balls he was shaking just from the sensations alone, but when his orgasm hit you swallowed thickly and practically had to catch him before his legs gave out from underneath him. Sitting him on the bench beside you.

“How was it?” You blushed as he grabbed your face, leaning down to pinch your nipples and snickered at your animated reaction. How your cheeks were tinted with the softest dusty rose and your lips swollen and red like a plump strawberry. He kissed your lips biting into the sweet plump flesh. 

“Amazing, can we do it again?” He looked hopeful his big doe eyes a contrast from the sharp glare he was giving you earlier. Jungkook emerged from the change rooms as the others stepped inside with cardboard and plastic cups, “The coast is clear”

Stepping out you had tied your hair back into a ponytail as Jungkook had unintentionally messed it up. The boys all froze looking you over and started laughing. “Jungkook!” Jimin shouted and patted the maknae’s shoulder.

The two of you blushed as Seokjin handed you a large plastic cup filled with an iced beverage, “Oh what did you get me?”

“Iced chocolate,” Namjoon sighed from across the room, “you have been having a lot of coffee and energy drinks lately and I was hoping you could take a break, maybe get some sleep tonight”


	84. 29-11-2020

Meticulously styling your hair, you wondered what your friends had planned. You were feeling really pretty, playing ‘Blue Orangeade’ in the bathroom and feeling like a giddy school girl again. It could have something to do with the fact you were practically dressed like one. Dancing around the ensuite, adding different accessories trying to complete your look you spotted Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook filming you from the doorway. 

“Wah!” Hoseok cheered, sweeping into the room first and dancing with you as you cleared the benches and put your stuff away. The moment your cheeks cooled down the next song came on and you didn’t want to fangirl but you really liked the song a lot. It was almost too natural for you to swing your hips in time to the beat.

It was a cute little moment, an impromptu dance party in the bathroom, “Jagiya, you have been playing TXT’s album all morning?” Jungkook pouted from behind the camera. “Why not our songs?”

“What do they have that we don’t?” Jimin said sincerely Hoseok lifted you onto the bench and the three stepped closer ready to interrogate you.

“Well they are just young and fun, and I feel cute and giggly, so it really works,” You looked down at your skirt playing with the hem when you caught sight of the scar from your bullet wound. The happy vibe you were living on slipped away and you were immediately hit with a self-conscious feeling. Pulling the skirt down as best you could to cover the wound.

“No, baby,” Jimin grabbed your hands and pulled them away from the wound “don’t hide it okay,”

“I don’t like it,” It was like you were back to square one, and it infuriated you more than anything. 

“You don’t need to prove yourself, you don’t need to cover up or dress or fit the perfect image,” Jimin spoke knowingly, “You tell me every time I am feeling this way how much you love me and how much it hurts to see me destroy myself, what you feel when you see me like that is what we feel when we see you like that. All seven of us hurt when you hurt.”

“I am sorry, it’s just it reminds me of just everything that happened,” the words died out and you tried to push the thoughts aside.

Jungkook left and Hoseok helped you off the bench and they led you out, “Do you have a coat? It might get cold.”

“No I haven’t, but that’s okay, it’s pretty warm today anyway, I doubt I would need one,” Shrugging as you spoke, you hadn’t noticed the two young men looking until the silence stretched further than normal and you turned to see their stern faces. Giving off a laugh as you walked down the hall to the living room calling back to them, “Maybe, I might think about bringing one just in case.”

Jungkook stepped out of Namjoon’s office giving him a break from writing lyrics and the resident genius walked out holding a bit of lace. He sat in the armchair and gestured you over with a soft look and a wave. You felt your heart flutter at the sweet expression and moved closer until you were standing in front of him. 

He placed his hand behind your knee and lifted it until your foot was on his knee and he took the lace and stretched it around your foot and up your calf until it sat on your thigh the thick elastic band covering your scar.

“This is cute,” you touched the frills and sat on the arm of the armchair and inspected the pretty lace pattern and the little jewelled charm. “I might cry.”

Before you could even shed a tear a text came through telling you it was time to meet the others at the address they gave you. 

Seokjin offered to drive you and along the way he seemed really awkward. He cleared his throat, as he stopped momentarily at a set of lights. “You look beautiful.” It was such a timid compliment but it made you feel happy, the location was a day spa and Wendy and Misha sat out the front waiting. Unbuckling your seatbelt, you pressed a soft peck onto his cheek. His ears went red, you slipped from the vehicle and raced to your friends throwing a wave back.

Wendy and Misha spotted you, waving you over-enthusiastically, “Hey, you are here, come on we have a big day ahead of us,” Wendy led the group inside and stopped at the reception. “Good morning, we have a reservation for y/n?”

“Ah yes, here are your forms, there are a few extras you can choose from, we are providing lunch and all the beverages, we are ready for you when you are done signing in.” She smiled

“Wait, this is expensive?” You said looking at the woman confused there was no way you could pay for this package. 

She looked up with a smile, “Mister Min said you would say that, your boyfriend made sure everything was paid for so that the three of you could have a good time, he booked out the whole spa and asked you three to just relax, and enjoy yourself.”

“He what?” You frowned, pulling out your phone and making a quick call. After a few rings, he picked up.

“Hello Jagiya,” He called through the phone, “Before you even start complaining, I am a billionaire, hang up and have a good day.”

“Wait Yoon-” The line went dead. Taking a few deep breaths you turned back to the form and sighed “Alright don’t complain, have a good day.”

You laughed at some of the options selecting the ones that interested you, manicure and pedicure, skin treatments, waxing, hydrotherapy massage, hot stones and the hair package with treatments. You looked at the box with hair colour and you lingered over it for a moment before ticking the box. Though you weren’t sure what you would get, you thought perhaps you would try something fun, maybe a cute colour on the end of your hair.

The others smiled ready to get inside and be pampered, heading into the change rooms you understood why Yoongi closed the spa down for the three of you, It was for Misha. So as she could feel comfortable in the spa even though it wasn’t in the body she truly felt comfortable in. You washed and dressed in the sweet gowns as was regulation for covid safety. 

It was somewhere between manicures and massages when Wendy told you excitedly she was engaged. Gushing over the romantic story of how her and her fellow colleague had fallen in love and proposed. The three of you toasted and sipped champagne eating delicate fruits, rich chocolates and cheeses in celebration.


	85. 03-12-2020

Musing on the boy’s reaction when you came home from the spa, you let the classroom fade away. Jungkook was sitting in the living room, watching some of the home footage he had been recording lately. Jungkook wanted to present the director his idea for the music video, the teasers looked good but the two of you were on the same page that the music video should have a more home vibe.

“You are back,” Seokjin said from the kitchen, he seemed to be making himself an afternoon snack, “you hair looks really nice.”

“Yeah I got some highlights, I was going to dye it, but well I didn’t know what colour would look nice and that you boys would like?” running your fingers through your hair nervously. Hoping this change wasn’t too much.

Jungkook had placed down his laptop and was walking over, his hand wrapping around your waist and he hugged you taking in your scent. “You smell funny, what did you do today?” He laughed, trying to pinpoint what he was smelling on your skin. “Where have you been?”

“What do you mean, I went to the spa?” You frowned smelling your arm trying to determine what he was referring to. “Does it smell bad

“No, it just smells a bit like chemicals, it’s nice, just different” He hummed hugging you a little longer, “It’s not what I am used to”

“I am sorry,” unsure why you were apologizing, it just slipped out. He looked you over with a soft gaze leaning in to kiss you but bumping his nose with yours setting off a round of giggles between you.

“Don’t be sorry, I hope you had fun,” He kissed you properly this time turning his head so his nose brushed softly against your cheek as his lips brushed delicately against yours, you were thankful for all the facials and treatments as your lips felt so soft after the berry hydrating mask.

Pulling away he had a goofy smile on his face, his eyes hazy like he was drunk from just one kiss. You pecked his lips once more and slipped from his embrace, “I have to go see Yoongi”

Yoongi had been sitting with Hoseok in the second lounge, you raced over hugging him happily, “Thank you so much, I had an amazing day at the spa,” you heard him whine at you to get off but you knew he secretly loved the affection, you could tell as his ears turned bright pink.

Giggling at the thought, you were forcibly removed from the sweet memories by books being slammed onto the desk. Seo-Yeon sat down with a disgusted look on her face as she led the rest of the group to sit down as well.

“I hope you won’t be weird like this the whole time” Seo-Yeon muttered, flicking her hair over her shoulder, you looked at your group and tilted your head back at the roof for a moment trying to gather enough patience from them. You had to remind yourself that they never experienced the same traumas as you had. They weren’t as well versed in fighting for their lives or others. Their reasons to be doctors weren’t the same as yours.

Each member of the group was on their phone, other than yourself and Seo-Yeon there were her two best friends Bom and Soomin and some guy you had rarely seen in the tutorials by the name of Young-chul. You didn’t know much about him as whenever he opened his mouth he was always talking about women.

Seo-Yeon began with some sort of spiel about how the leader should be someone who works hard. You were almost positive that she was going to nominate herself into the position but was surprised when she suggested that you take the lead.

Each person was quick to decide the parts they wanted to contribute, and it was clear why you were made the leader, you were given the biggest portion of the assignment, while you were composing the whole project, the others were doing smaller portions like making the powerpoint with your information and the speech based on what you composed and Seo-Yeon was going to present everything on the day having done nothing.

The only person who seemed to be doing any sort of work was Young-Chul who was seemingly confident that it was going to be a walk in the park. This made you think he didn’t know what he was in for but hoped for the best.

Not dwelling on the group project as it only gave you a heavy foreboding feeling, you traveled home on the bus, walking to the security gate that protected ‘The Hill’ from the paparazzi. You smiled at the guard and flashed your ID, even though you knew the two of you were well acquainted.

You checked the mailbox before heading into the building. There was a stack of envelopes for the boys. Taking the stairs slowly in a way to prolong your journey home, there wasn’t anyone waiting for you anyway. The boys were recording some dance performances for live shows.

Shuffling through the letters wondering if there was anything that looked important that you should probably text the boys immediately about. Upon entering the apartment you dropped your coat on the rack and took off your shoes, shuffling you saw a pretty purple envelope. It was addressed to you which was surprising, opening it quickly you unfolded an elegant letter. Promptly texting Namjoon asking if he could read it to you as you weren’t particularly good at reading handwriting and you also wanted a break from reading.

Dumping your things you raided the fridge looking inside, there was some left over cake and half a bottle of wine. Grabbing both you quickly ran a bath hoping to soak for a while and forget everything.

Slipping into the bubbles you received a call from Namjoon, “Hello?” You answered and heard a giggle, that makes your heart flutter. Namjoon when he was under no pretenses was a cute and endearing young man. He fumbled and stuttered and grew shy. So hearing such a genuine laugh from him was always something you would cherish.

“Hello, I just received your text, let me open the picture and read it for you,” you placed your phone beside the bath and relaxed listening to him read, “and that is why, I would like to ask you my best friend to be my maid of honour”

“Wait,” you sat up water splashing around you, “She really asked me to be the maid of honour”

“Yes, she really asked you to be the maid of honour” Namjoon started to stutter, “are you in the bath?”


	86. 09-12-2020

You were late. Not just you, all the boys as well. It’s not like you didn’t warn them either, but no playing around with the camcorder was better than going to their scheduled music video shoot. 

Did they get in trouble? No. But, Oh boy! You did. The director was furious, which meant you, their assistant manager, was to blame. There was a tiny part of you that assumed that perhaps it was because his daughter liked BTS and he wanted her to be happy even if it meant trampling on everyone in her way.

“y/n” he called for the utmost time making you huff. The grip on the broom increased, the holo thin metal crushing between clamped fists. You had been sweeping the set, upon his request. 

All day the director would call your name or whistle and wave you over, only to tell you to do something that not only wasn’t your job but was a meaningless task. You had seen the table get wiped down but you had to clean it again. 

You were sweaty and dirty, having to scrub and clean and dust and they were changing sets from their Music video set to their performances, they were scheduled to perform on a few american TV shows and so they were filming them all in one go.

There was a scene with snow which was pretty, but after the snow you were sent to sweep it up. There was nothing you could do but work hard and keep your head down, the idea that the work day was almost over was what was keeping you going.

You stopped to see the boys and a few staff watching the music video they had made and whispers began how it was too glam and showy. Yoongi’s hands were pressed together; he hated it. 

“The song is supposed to be about everyone around the world going through the same things. Sitting at home and being bored. Like the video’s we make at home.” Hoseok muttered his lips in a signature upset triangle.

“Hey, it’s your song, you can tell him you don’t like it,” You whispered trying to bolster them, give them the reassurance that they are the ones in control, “I would, but, he won’t listen to me, I am just your humble assistant.”

Namjoon laughed and the boys were quick to tease you, “Humble? Never.”

“You are more than th—” Taehyung poked your side, you had to suppress a giggle as you heard the familiar whistle from the director. Rolling your eyes was an automatic response that made Seokjin laugh heartily.

“Y/n, I have a job for you,” The director called you aside and you nodded apologetic at the boys and scurried off after the director. He was sitting with the producers and a few people from each team trying to discuss the next concept and they were all on the same page.

“You called for me sir?” You were waiting for him to tell you the next outrageous job he could come up with. 

“I would like you to clean the floors,” He dismissed you with a hand.

“I believe the cleaners have come in and are currently cleaning and they are more qualified than I am in the area of cleaning, I don’t know how to use the equipment or what chemical should be used where,” You pushed back not letting yourself be treated like a dog. “But I will happily relay any messages to the cleaners and oversee any areas you have particular concern for sir.”

“You are a distraction to those boys, how am I supposed to be filming a somber Quarantine scene when you are out here all smiles and laughs with the boys?” He sighed, throwing down the pile of concepts for the live performances.

“My job as assistant manager is to make sure the boys are happy and healthy and being heard by the production team and the director and frankly, they aren’t happy with the concept you have chosen for the ‘Life goes on’ music video.”

Wincing at the wording you chose, you saw him go bright red, a vein in his neck popping out. Surely this man had an underlying heart condition or something, people don’t just go that red and disgusting when they are angry.

You took a step back as he shouted in your face, “You know nothing about film, did you go to university? Did you study? Go do what you are good at assistant manager, go get coffee and on your way past tell the props team we are done for the night” 

You turned and walked to the door maintaining a regular pace; you wouldn’t show him that you were afraid of him. He was just a little man trying to be big. Filming huge celebrities and never getting to be them, you knew why the music video was filled with cars and chandeliers, because that’s the life he wished for. 

Telling the prop team that they are done for the night they packed up and thanked you before leaving. You ordered the coffee and waited outside, the nights were getting colder, it was weird to see a year pass and feel like nothing and everything were happening at once.

When the order was complete you headed back inside and you arrived at the directors room and handed out the coffee’s. He didn’t thank you and you didn’t expect him to. “We will go with this one, get it ready” He sighed and they all left, you were heading towards the door when he called you back.

“My daughter says you like rich men, is that why you hang out with those pop boys, are you hoping they will fall in love with you like some cinderella. That’s not how this works, they will marry other rich girls like my daughter.” He eyed you from his seat, “Seo-Yeon mentioned you had a few partners, perhaps it’s because you are exotic, I wouldn’t go so far as to call you pretty but there is something about you.”

“I know you are just speculating, but this is classed as workplace harassment and I won’t stand for it sir,” You walked to the door knowing your exit was important. Turning back, “If you even think about saying something like that again, I will personally report you without hesitation.”


	87. 09-12-2020

There was an old saying out of the frying pan and into the fire. If the odd jobs from the director were the frying pan this was the fire. The prop team had gone home as you were directed to tell them, but it seemed the director changed his mind and wished to continue filming and told you to do the prop team’s work.

Taking boxes of props back and forth to the set, just trying to make everything go faster so this hell of a day can end. The director is continuously asking you to fetch this and that and you were so close to just throwing the boxes down and leaving. Your eyes catch the boys getting their makeup touched up as they slip into the next costumes, they were laughing happily.

Don’t make a scene. Don’t ruin this for them. Don’t act out. Because even though you mean something to them, you were a nobody, and making a scene would just solidify the difference in class. Besides they had been in this position working hard doing the dirty work and getting little reward. You heard the stories of how they would perform and never appear on broadcasts and how they were shunned. 

If seven of them could do it and be successful then so could you. Moving faster you carried a box and slammed it onto the table a little way away from the director. The sound alerted a few more people than intended, making you wither a little, you were standing your ground against one man, not the whole set.

“Anything else, sir?” You said smiling through gritted teeth. 

“Get the box with the white sheets to hang over the furniture.” He waved his hand, shooing you away.

You walked back, ignoring the looks following you. The hellishly long corridor was your saving grace at this moment, such a juxtaposition from the grueling times you walked back and forth. Now you couldn’t wait for the journey the longer the better if it meant having time away from the spotlight. 

Ever since you were young, dancing on stage became a mask and persona that wasn’t you. It was what you thought you wanted to be. What others told you to be. But, it wasn’t you.

You were afraid of attention, nervous before all the performances were not anticipation butterflies, no it was the sick feeling of anxiety you were well acquainted with these days.

You arrived at the prop room wiping your brow of sweat whilst looking through the boxes to find the specific one with the white sheets that the director had requested.

~

“Hey, is Y/n okay?” Hoseok asked, concerned he looked at the others who also looked after their assistant manager and girlfriend.

“The director seems to be asking a lot of her,” Jungkook added sitting in the hairstyling chair. The group had stopped laughing, now collectively discussing how tired she looked and whether or not to approach or support her. 

“The director told her to send the prop team home, and is now running her back and forth,” One hairdresser spoke to the other working over the boys’ heads, “I heard he did this to a girl before when she refused him. So he made life difficult until she quit.”

“He is really shady,” one of the makeup artists said with a resigned shiver, “he always touches your waist when he comes over, As long as the two aren’t left alone we don’t have to worry.”

“Well, actually, he left after her about ten minutes ago” Another makeup artist who had been awfully quiet spoke up, “Should we send security or someone.”

“I mean she is a foreigner aren’t they like tougher?” One of the makeup artists shrugged before she was pushed aside with a shriek. “Hoseok!”

He ran down the corridor hearing the footsteps and calls of the other members behind him, they were all nervous, their hearts were racing and their blood felt cold. The icky feeling increased the longer they ran, why was this set so big.

That’s when they heard a clatter, Hoseok opened the door to see you swinging your fist into the director’s nose. He froze as the other boys huddled around him, the sight of their pompous director on the ground and holding a bloodied nose.

“This is an outrage, I was trying to help, carry the boxes and your manager punched me. I will sue her for assault if you don’t have her fired immediately.” He shouted and made a scene. While you lunged at the boys holding them back from the pathetic old man on the ground, the assistant director burst in and began apologizing for the director’s behavior. 

“I will contest to whatever you wish to report, I have worked with Director Gwan many times now and he has hurt many people over that time with no remorse. I am glad that we didn’t arrive too late and that the young lady was able to protect herself” He bowed again “I am just glad you are a safe young lady”

“You have no proof,” The director laughed, his teeth stained red and his eyes bruising from the injury.

“Actually, I had made sure every room had a portable camera placed,” The assistant said, I didn’t know who the next victim was so I kept all the unused rooms locked and bugged the rest.” He picked up the box attached to the wall. “You have been caught.”

~

“Y/n, hey come here” Hoseok pulled you aside, you were startled eyes wide, head-turning whenever there was a slight sound. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I am fine,” You winced talking was tight because you weren’t breathing correctly your chest was too tight. “Just a little spooked, I guess.”

“You’re stiff as a board,” Seokjin sighed let these broad shoulders protect you. He held out his hand and you started to sob unable to take it, unable to move your hands wrapped around you. 

It had taken a long time to accept and trust people again after all the incidences pertaining to the fog. Why? Why was it right when you had felt safe and that the world wasn’t as scary as it had been during that time had this happened.

Sure he didn’t do anything but say a few words before you punched him. It was honestly your fight or flight, you panicked not giving him a chance to speak further, step closer or act before your fist was planted into his face.


	88. 11-12-2020

You had the day off which was probably for the best, you threw yourself into your work to prevent yourself from thinking about punching Seo-Yeon’s father and Director for being sleazy. With the upcoming group project, you made sure to get all your work done. Sending out a message to see if anyone else had finished their work and asking if they were all available to meet up at a cafe. They each were not available which you could understand, it was last minute but you all had decided to meet in two days at the cafe to work on the project together.

It may have been for the best, that you took a break, reaching out to Wendy, you both got onto the topic of wedding dresses. The two of you agree to go later that day, inviting Misha out as well, it doesn’t take long to hear back from a shop that has a vacant place for dress shopping.

You each met up for lunch having an hour to waste before your appointment at the dress shop. Taking turns talking about recent events trying to catch up on all the things you had missed. 

Misha was excitedly talking about the future and her plans for the official graduation that was still postponed for the pandemic to pass. “Oh but I started getting IPL so I can minimise hair growth and we have a lot planned we hope to have most of the physical transitions complete before I start University.” She smiled “I am booked in for a breast augmentation and even a trachael shave, you guys don’t know how happy I am.”

“You are already so pretty misha, you are going to outshine us soon,” you grinned at the young girl, “We will be working together at the hospital and everyone will be asking for you to nurse them.”

“We can never tell you how proud we are of you and your decisions, it must be so scary on your own have you found anyone else to talk to about this anyone going through the same or similar things?”

“I have joined a few groups” Misha smiled, you both smiled encouragingly as she wiped away her tears, “I was so nervous every night looking at the cost on different websites and wondering if I would be alone and I know some people do it while they are alone. I am grateful for those around me and even if my father hadn’t of accepted me, I would have moved out and saved the money on my own.” 

“It took so much and yet, I never regret telling people who I really am. It hurt losing my small amount of friends, and it hurt that some of my relatives whom I trusted know longer acknowledge me in the family, but I have my dad and my best friends and that’s enough for now.”

“Hey, we love you,” The two of you hugged Misha cooing over how beautiful she was and how beautiful she will be when she finally feels comfortable and confident in her own skin.

“That’s enough about me what about the wedding plans,” Misha laughed and the topic changed with a few water smiles.

“Well, the wedding colour scheme is ivory, blush, and peach it will be whimsical and so I want a dress that is like a fairytale…” 

It was the perfect day the three of you playing with veils and getting emotional everytime Wendy stepped out in a beautiful white gown. 

It was the day you were supposed to meet the group to discuss and formulate an end result for the group project. You had decided not to stress believing in the other members and enjoying your weekend their was two weeks left of the project and you had been there. In highschool you had been the one who would procrastinate until the last minute, but you always managed to wrap it up at the last minute and perform greatly on the day.

You walked into the cafe waving at Wendy as you approached the counter, Wendy introduced you to her fiance, long time friend and the store manager. The three of you were talking about your day. “I am meeting some kids from Uni and we are discussing our group project and basically putting everything together”

“Oh, how has that been going?” Wendy’s fiance Sangwoo smiled preparing your drink. 

“Well, this is our first meeting and I haven’t heard anything from them since we were assigned the project so… yeah I am trying not to think about it” 

Taking a seat you waited for them to call your name, you opened your laptop and got to work, half an hour past and it was finally the designated time in which you were supposed to meet. No one showed, you were a little nervous when another half an hour past and still no one showed. Brushing it off and trying your best to continue, another two hours past and you were working hard on your own trying to focus and work on your own.

You messaged everyone but no one answered and no one showed. What the hell? Packing your things you took out your phone, calling Jimin. You wanted to listen to his soft voice telling you everything was okay. There was a sting behind your eyes but you forced it down, when you heard the call connect.

“Hello! Love, how is your group study going?” His soft sweet voice really did soothe you the tension relaxing from you chest but all it did was push the problems aside and for now thats all you could do.

The plan was to forget about it today and ask them tomorrow before class. You wouldn’t stress yourself on someone else’s work tonight, for tonight you were going to hang with the guys. “Can you pick me up?”

“We are getting in the van now, we will be there soon.” He smiled “How do you feel about going on a date?”

The night was amazing, the boys took you to get a new dress, you tried to refuse but they said you needed to look the part where you were going. Thank gosh you listened as it was one of the most famous restaurants you had ever been to and you were amazed by the food.

After dinner and dessert you were taken to han river where you boarded a beautiful Yacht. The eight of you drank wine and danced in the sunset, when the light faded on the horizon twinkling lights came to life around you. All thoughts of the group project and the director lost and you were happy and carefree once more.


	89. 13-12-2020

You had such a wonderful night, it was perfect and you had forgotten everything for one beautiful evening. Only to have everything crash land upon you once more when the sun rose accompanied by your alarm clock.

You had an hour before you had to leave for class and you began thinking of the project some more, the dull ache in your chest growing. First, you would ask why no one showed up or messaged you about the study session yesterday. After that, you would see what they had, and if it wasn’t up to standard you were not shy of kicking them from the group in class.

Your phone buzzed on the counter and you saw that Twitter had blown up with news of the Director, it seemed he was being charged with multiple counts of harassment. Your name and statement and even some footage were put up online and you paused contemplating whether or not you would even show up to class today with everything going on.

On the plus side, multiple people were stepping forward and testifying against him. You were happy that at least something good came out of it but you were starting to get sick of being a martyr. There would have to be a point when you drew the line when you told people no when you said that’s not my problem. 

It seemed like that moment was closing in fast, and if your group members didn’t pull their weight well, you would take a stand. During the quarantine whilst they disinfected the streets and you were the scapegoat, you weren’t going to shoulder anyone else’s burdens anymore.

Stepping off the bus, you walked through the campus glad you didn’t have to pay for parking. You made your way across the campus, the walk was short but your bag was heavy making it seem like a grueling task. 

Many welcoming sights included the cafeteria and library, two of your favorite places to chill and study respectively. You had a few labs that morning, where you made sure to focus on your work for that class. Not allowing the group project to come between you and your other classes.

Your schedule was better than most, your first class started at ten and you had three, one-hour labs back to back and then a two-hour break before your last class. This gave you two hours to study. Grabbing some snacks you sat in the library checking through your emails trying to find anything from the other group members.

No luck. They seemed to be ghosting you. It really was getting on your nerves that the people assigned to your group were not only unprepared and unwilling they were refusing to even communicate about it. You would have been happy to accommodate them, even taking on some of their workloads if they just spoke up and participated.

The hour drew near, setting off to class you recited all the points you were intending to discuss with the other members again. Whilst also trying to remain rational, you knew sometimes things could surprise you and maybe they had a good excuse as to why they couldn’t show up.

If they did you would for sure let it slide without so much as a rebuttal, but if their excuses were as flimsy as their attendance you would consider contacting the professor.

The class room was plain and you liked it better that way, less distractions. It meant that you could really focus at the tasks at hand and retain information, unlike at home which had seven gorgeous boys who were always wanting to have your attention. 

Slowly unpacking your things you saw the members of your group entering one by one their heads low, you were not having a bar of it. “Hey, why weren’t you at the cafe last night we all agreed?”

“I got really sick, I am so sorry” One of the girls said and you nodded fair enough she sounded sincere.

“Okay can you send me everything you have worked on?” You smiled and yet she worried her bottom lip with her teeth. 

“I haven’t actually started, I am so sorry,” She stood up, “I will head home tonight and I will get it done, I promise” 

You nodded and moved across the room to catch another member of your group sinking in his chair.

He smelt of alcohol badly so you knew where he had been the night before. You were reprimanding them in a professional and yet polite manner. Asking them to join you at your table in hopes of getting some sort of work done during class.

“Listen, I have done my part, I am not doing anymore than that so just finish your parts and we are done and honestly it’s not that hard.” You heard a laugh

“You must feel really tough huh, bossing people around, I made you the leader because I thought you would be good at it. I was right you boss people around all the time and when the don’t listen you beat them, don’t you?” Seo-yeon crossed her arms her charm bracelet jingling on her thin wrist. Brandishing a photo of her fathers face. “He is in the hospital if you must know?’

“You have something to say?” you sighed “I am not in the mood, all I want is to do this assignment”

“That’s all we want but you don’t listen, we are trying our best and things happen but you are getting mad, what kind of leader are you.” She sat down brandishing a handkerchief to dry the imaginary tears from her eyes. “You beat my father, after he refused to give you money and got him fired from his job”

“Believe what you want but the evidence doesn’t lie” You rolled your eyes, “just get your work done”

“I know you have three men you are seeing and they buy you things, is that why you are with them, because you use people to get things you want” She sighed 

“Actually I have more than three men that I am happily in a polyamorous relationship with,” You sighed, “think before you say stupid things”

You got a text midway through class and you got an idea, texting back your plans to have the boys in disguise pick you up from class. They were concerned and you told them the truth about Seo-yeon saying things about you and spreading rumors. 

They couldn’t agree fast enough.


	90. 15-12-2020

You sat in class eyeing the door waiting for the boys to arrive, you thought you saw a face appear in the small window but you couldn’t be too sure. When you received a text from Namjoon, declaring you were there outside accompanied by a picture of the boys in their best disguises. They looked really good, behind the masks and caps they were all posing in front of your classroom door and you couldn’t help but giggled and try your best to continue working. 

“Alright class next week you will be presenting your group projects and I can’t wait to see them.” She smiled packing up her things and you texted the boys to come in “Remember to take breaks stay hydrated and be safe”

“Oh sorry, are we interrupting,” Namjoon spoke in English they all bowed, “We are just here to pick up, Y/n” 

They bowed again as the Professor exited the classroom with a bow of her own. Once the teacher left the boys all walked over, Jimin sat atop your desk picking up your book and flicking through the pages. “You working hard baby?”

“I am working hard,” You grinned, as Jungkook stole your bag which you had just finished packing, and put it on his back. “Hey, that’s my bag,”

“Yeah, I am being a good boyfriend and carrying it,” he laughed kissing your cheek, it was like everyone was moving at once, Seokjin took your hand and pulled you from your seat.

“You must be Y/n’s group project members, you should get your stuff done so we can take our girl out to dinner and have fun,” Namjoon said shaking hands with everyone, the boys seemed to dodge Seo-Yeon’s eyes, hoping she didn’t recognize them.

“Love it’s your turn to choose dinner tonight, but I really want japchae,” Taehyung whined hanging off your sleeve tugging it gently until Yoongi pushed him off.

“It’s not your choice,” Yoongi scolded, putting his hand on your lower back and guiding you from the classroom, “We have to go early, I can’t eat after eight tonight, I have surgery tomorrow, let’s go”

Dinner was in fact Japchae, it seemed after it was mentioned by Taehyung you started to crave it. You ate heartily with the boys and Yoongi went for a shower and ducked into his studio. You had decided to more on the project, you had a sneaking suspicion that someone in the group would let you down, so you started reading some journal articles cited and referenced some in the essay, you even started the speech and PowerPoint. 

Thanking Namjoon for letting you borrow his office, the boys were watching movies in the living room and you would just get distracted. The time passed slowly and the ache in your neck grew to a fierce cramp, by the time you had finished the minimum requirement for the journal articles. 

It was time for a break, maybe some coffee to keep you going seeing as the clock showed that it was well after midnight. There was a lot you still had too, heading to the kitchen you wrote a list while making a coffee. “Speech, PowerPoint, final touches on the essay, Wendy’s wedding, the boys have their comeback, Misha’s official graduation, Yoongi’s surgery, final exams, Thomas and Areum’s engagement party, starting prac at the hospital and Christmas.” You whispered, there was so much you had to balance school, work, friends, family, and loved ones.

You had poured the hot water into the coffee mug and a hand took it and tipped the contents into the sink, “it’s past midnight,” Yoongi mumbled, “you need sleep, not caffeine.”

“I have assignments to finish,” You huffed, tapping the paper in front of you, Yoongi read over the list and sighed, giving you a reprimanding look.

“This is too much, why don’t you sleep and do more in the morning,” he stated rather than asked, taking your hand and guiding you to his room and cuddled with you in bed, “Are you doing okay?”

“You are the one going for surgery, are you going okay?” You whispered eyeing the rapper in the dark, he looked like he was unable to sleep due to the anticipation. Your eyes were heavy and it was a struggle to keep watching him, your voice fading to a mumble he chuckled in response, “What’s so funny?”

“You can hardly keep your eyes open love, you need to take breaks otherwise you will only run yourself into the ground.” He tickled your arm drawing patterns into your skin and trying to encourage you to fall asleep, he wanted you to get some rest. 

Honestly, he may have been afraid of his surgery but now he was afraid of being bed-bound whilst you were on the edge of a breakdown. He could feel the anxiety and overwhelming sense of dread rolling off of you and knew the impending breakdown was going to be fierce and he just wanted to be there for you.

“I can do it, just one job at a time,” you breathed attempting to sit up, “That reminds me I have to go to the physio and psych tomorrow, I need to get my stuff ready.”

“Go to sleep and you can deal with it in the morning,” Yoongi placed his hand over your eyes and hummed in your ear a soothing tune that had you drifting off in his arms. “While I am in hospital you can call me whenever and I will listen.”

You were running late and in your hometown, you knew everyone was waiting for you, the Professor, the group project members, Wendy, Misha, Doctor Chang, the boys. Lost and running around without a sense of direction. You tried calling any of them, but no one answered. 

It was a nightmare and when you woke, it was ten-thirty and Yoongi was gone. You sat up checking your phone calling him but there was no answer, you were upset but couldn’t allow yourself to waste time, pushing the feelings down and heading to the office to continue working on the project.


	91. 15-12-2020

You were part way through the PowerPoint and speech which you were working on together so you could talk about each slide and not forget important points you wished to make. Jimin stepped in explaining that Yoongi had just gone into surgery and it would be two hours for the surgery and an additional hour before he would be back on the regular ward. 

“They are reconstructing the shoulder labrum. It’s a long surgery and will take about 6 to 12 months to recover.” You let the medical knowledge slip and blushed when the boys grinned at you. Though you hadn’t said a word or asked about the surgery it seemed you had done your own research. 

“Yoongi would be touched to know you were concerned for him,” Jimin smiled, you chose to ignore Jimin’s statement not sure you wanted to think about Yoongi teasing you. You were in the middle of working on the assignment stuff when you got an email from the guy in your group saying he was dropping out of the class and you sighed taking it upon yourself to do a little more research and add a couple more journal articles to the project.

At some point Hoseok arrived, playing with Jimin and the two were slowing down your work process you didn’t get as much as you wanted to before you had to leave for the physio, it was a nice afternoon appointment that not only seemed pointless but also ate away your afternoon which left you bitter at the thought of all the work you could have gotten done.

But the longer you stayed with Doctor Han made you relax and the feeling faded slightly. You lost sight of the impending things and focused on what was at hand. He seemed proud of your achievements, “You have been stretching and doing the light exercises I asked you to do?”

“Most of the time when I can remember?” you admitted with a laugh, causing the man to relax as well he had sensed your unease upon your arrival. 

“That’s good, it seems to be working,” He pressed certain areas around your thigh trying to feel for any tender areas or degeneration of the muscles since the incident. “You could honestly be looking at a ninety, ninety-five percent recovery rate which means you could rejoin the performing career, if that’s what you wish.”

You thought for a moment about what he was saying, you could go back to the way things were as if nothing ever happened. Push it away and live the life you did before, unspoiled from injury and trauma.

Leaving the physio and heading to Doctor Lee’s office, the session looming over you with everything going on you knew it was important to discuss but you wanted nothing more than to run away.

“Hey, Y/n come in,” she waved you in and gestured for you to sit, “how have you been with work and school?”

“Uh…” the words caught in your throat drying it out, you took a few deep breaths feeling your eyes sting and tried to pull your mouth into a smile to appear fine. You came clean about everything that had been happening, school, work, friends, events, family, friends. Ninety. Ninety-five. You could be Ninety-five. You could. Ninety-five percent recovered. Ninety-five percent normal. Couldn’t you.

Things crashed down around you. No matter how much you wished for it and wanted to be only five percent damaged you realized that you couldn’t. The damage wasn’t just a little wound on your thigh, no it was like an infection causing through your body that had rotted your brain. 

“What upsets you the most?” She asked, writing things down on her clipboard “The amount of things you are dealing with or that you don’t think you have the same worth as others? That you think because of all this you don’t deserve love.”

“I just don’t understand how anyone could want me when I am like this, Doctor Han said that I can have a ninety or ninety-five percent recovery, he said it would be like nothing major had happened and I could be like I was before” You breathed, taking some tissues from the coffee table and drying your eyes “But I can’t, I don’t know why but I just can’t be who I was not anymore”

“Okay well let’s talk about your progress with your rehabilitation. That isn’t a small feat regaining that much mobility you are significantly lucky, resilient and hardworking to make it this far.” She smiled “so what do you think about being able to dance again? Will you go back to the way things were before?”

“No. I can’t, things are different, I am different, I can’t be that girl again” You hummed the words sinking in, you didn’t know if it was relief or sadness that washed over you, “I think this wound made me realize what I really wanted to do with my life and as much as I love dancing. I was never happy performing for others. I wasn’t happy dancing on command and smiling when I was sad for the crowd. I think this forced me to look at what was important to me.” 

“I think that perhaps we should end things today, but I have homework for you,” She began writing something down. “I know that you think you don’t deserve everything you have, so what I want you to do is to go to your partners and ask them one question. ‘Why do you love me?’ It can be a loaded question so you could ask instead ‘what is your favourite thing about me?’”

You nodded, taking the piece of paper and heading into the waiting room, as the boys didn’t expect you to be finished for almost a whole hour you walked to the BigHit building. The breeze was cold and the breeze misted from the cold, bringing with it an anxious feeling and memories of the fog. 

Pulling your coat tighter around your shoulder you saw Taehyung on the street camera in his hand, he turned to you and his face split into a bright grin as the flash sparked across the frosted air between you.


	92. 16-12-2020

You ducked your head in embarrassment, not expecting him to take a picture of you whilst you were walking through the street. Taehyung smiled, leading you into the building parking lot where you were escorted to the boys’ starex van. No one was there and Taehyung pulled you onto the backseat and sat you on his lap hugging you and trying to warm you up from the cold winds outside.

“Tae, this might be a little weird but, I was told by Doctor Lee that I should ask you boys a question, do you mind?” You mumbled laying your head on his shoulder. Genuinely scared after all the things these boys had ever said to you, the good and the bad you were worried. Emotions scattered and a part of you was broken after the things they had done.

To then get pulled back in and to start a relationship you couldn’t be sure they weren’t manipulating you, but you trusted them with your heart and believed in them wholey that what they said and did and their intentions and feelings towards you was real.

“I don’t mind what is the question?” Taehyung smiled, running his large hand up and down your back in slow circles. It had the desired effect of calming your nerves and you took a deep breath.

“Why do you love me?” You asked quietly hoping that he wouldn’t hear it, he took a deep breath and hummed low. It scared you to know he was taking this so seriously and thinking about it. You hadn’t realised that the other boys had gotten into the van or that the other guys had heard your question. The van rumbled to life as the boys all sat for a moment thinking over the question you asked.

“Well, I love you because you are playful and caring, you have such a big heart and you expect nothing in return, not only that you treated us like normal people when we met, you didn’t know the extent of our fame. You are dangerous and wild and flirtatious and fiery and I was mesmerized”

“You are so forward and stubborn and love a challenge and ready for anything,” Jungkook said, making you turn to see the other boys had arrived. Well all except Yoongi which drove a sharp pain through your chest, you wanted to see him, “you were super sweet and when you had something you would share it with us, little things, bedding, food, secret showers, even these” 

Jungkook held up the square foil packet and grinned when your face went red, Jimin interrupted his teasing by adding, “You were not only unaffected by my flirtatious ways you actually beat me at my own game, flirting with me and making me flustered. You were a mystery and I loved the chase but I know you now and it’s like the feelings I felt the attraction to the mystery have just intensified because you were so sweet and cuddly and had such a brilliant smile”

“We had the same interests and sense of humour,” Seokjin voiced his feelings. He gave a small laugh and shuffled from foot to foot whilst helping you out the van, “I don’t know exactly what it was, the way you smiled, the fire behind your eyes. The jokes and banter, the time just sitting beside you where we did nothing but watch dramas and the connection grew between us”

Hoseok smiled, taking your hands. Pulling you close to his chest he swayed you side to side, “It wasn’t something we just dove into, we started off as friends, I found myself wanting to care for you, wanting to make you laugh and make you happy, because you cared for me and made me laughed and showed me so much love how could I resist falling in love with you as well.”

“I will be honest, you were my type, smart and funny and witty and we had some great conversations, half the time they were intellectual and the other half they were so simple and you knew what I needed and how to make me destress and feel better and it was so beautiful and amazing.” Namjoon was flustered and yet he didn’t stutter at all he maintained eye contact and smiled softly.

The boys lead you inside the hospital and further into Yoongi’s private room where you saw him resting on the bed, he was sleeping and as you got closer you started to cry. Seeing him so pale, tired and bandaged broke your heart. He seemed to stir as if hearing your distress and the sound of you sniffling. 

“You can’t cry, or then the maknae’s will cry,” Yoongi struggled to sit up and held out his good arm patting the mattress softly, “Come sit down,”

You sat down and he pulled you to his chest laying your head on his good shoulder and letting you cry softly against him, “you’re okay”

“Okay,” there was a pause and Jimin smiled bringing over some tissues and wiping your eyes.

“You can’t cry you will wet Yoongi’s shirt, but while we are here” Jimin smiled moving around the bed caring for the two of you diligently. “Y/n wants to ask you a question”

“What do you want to ask me?” Yoongi’s thumb was rubbing against your hip trying to ease you as he always did, he was affectionate but it was always small little gestures that meant so much to you.

“What do you love about me?” you buried your head in his neck and tried to hide your face embarrassed, he wasn’t one to talk about his feelings he was stoic and so cool and well it made you feel lame to express your feelings.

He shrugged, pressing his fingers into your side a nice pressure, even though a small amount of doubt filled your chest. You couldn’t expect everyone to love you, that was unrealistic. The nurse came in and hummed “Visiting hours are closing,”

“Can she stay the night?” Yoongi gestured to you and the nurse nodded, saying she would get a cot to sleep in and the boys all waved leaving. You went to slide out of Yoongi’s arms when he leaned down putting his lips to your ear and whispered quietly, “because you are you and that means everything to me.”


	93. 16-12-2020

You felt a little better seeing and taking care of Yoongi as he was recovering, but that didn’t ease the pain you felt seeing him wince whenever he moved. You spent the next two days with him working on your assignment and even making a call to your professor letting her know that you were the only one who did any work for the project and you would present it on your own as well.

She was proud of you for not only getting it done on your own she was proud that you took a stand and allowed the others to fail the assessment which was worth a little over half the grade. You had of course showed her evidence with the document receipts and also the text messages that left you alone at the cafe.

You had everything already for Monday and now that the project was done you had a chance to focus on the next line of business. The BE comeback was the next day and Yoongi couldn’t be there. He seemed a bit upset but you set up the laptop and sat beside him waiting for the broadcast to start. The boys were amusing and you both had to hold in your laughter so as not to cause Yoongi any more pain.

You smiled at the final product of the music video, Jungkook, and the assistant director had made a really good music video between the pizza and video game scenes to the homemade videos recorded by Jungkook and yourself. Yoongi hummed happily and laid back on the bed, the comeback was a success and the good wishes for Yoongi continued to roll in.

He started getting used to you taking care of him and even started to lean his head into your touch like a cat, he seemed to enjoy the head massages you gave. He would even start to hum random melodies you had never heard of before. 

You were helping him set up his equipment, you were actually really good at it now and even knew what it was all for, having done it so often. As you finished setting up the system you looked over to see him grinning brightly, his gums on show.

“What is it?” You looked at the work and mentally reviewed the wiring and placement of the equipment and looked back, “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, it’s perfect,” the smile fell and he cleared his throat softly so as to not jar his shoulder, “You did really well.”

You were feeling a little better about things you had the weekend with Yoongi and then you would have to go to class and present your project which would be fun considering you had kicked everyone off the project and were presenting it by yourself.

You had arranged for Yoongi’s favorite food to be delivered to the hospital and even snuck in a small bottle of his favorite whiskey and shared a drink with him. Even if you coughed and spluttered the first few sips at the strong burn in your throat. He thought it was cute the way your cheeks flushed pink and he couldn’t help but silently laugh every time you grimaced.

“You are so cute,” He smiled placing his hand on your head, “Thank you, it really has made me feel better, I wished I could have been there with them, but now I am happy to have some time with you, cause I can’t do this in front of a camera” 

He pulled you closer and pressed his lips to yours a gave you a sweet kiss like caramelized brown sugar and the burn of the alcohol. It seemed he was feeling much better. Taking the rubbish and evidence from the room.

“You are a sneaky one, bringing alcohol into the hospital,” He laughed “That’s why I love you.”

The statement didn’t shock you as much as it did the first time he let the words slip, he was now taking it upon himself to say it every time after you did something that made him happy. At first, you would be rendered a blushing mess but now you just smiled fondly and let him pat your head.

The two of you had a great day but that night you had to go, you had the presentation the next day and you wanted to get a good night’s sleep. The smile on his face told you something else, yes he was happy but he didn’t want to be alone. He must have seen the hesitation on your face as he gave a soft chuckle and looked out the window.

“Get out of here and take a shower you are starting to smell,” he laughed, you could see he was trying to be funny and indifferent but he wasn’t exactly selling it. His lips settled parted slightly, the corners downturned as they naturally sat. He had no emotion within his expression, you knew he didn’t want you to go. 

Sliding around the bed you took his chin between your finger and thumb and lifted his face so you could plant a soft kiss on his lips. “This Yoongi is why I love you. Rest you get to go home in two days and we will make the house cozy for you with a warm soft bed and your favorite foods. Besides, I think you might actually walk out of the hospital if you hear me recite my project speech one more time.”

“I like to hear you talk, but you are right, if I hear about the ethics of nursing while in a hospital I will actually run out the front door.” He laughed, giving you another kiss and gently pushing you away. “Two days and that bed better be warm”

“The warmest.” You picked up your bag and gave him a final smile and wave walking from the room, you took a cab not wanting to bother the boys, and recited your speech from the palm cards hoping that the presentation would go well. You were looking out the window when you saw the sweet coffee shop that wendy was working at. 

You had to call her, she had left you messages and calls and all you had was excuses. The moment the presentation was over you would call her out for lunch and discuss wedding plans further. You were the maid of honor meaning you were the one to plan the bachelorette party. 


	94. 19-12-2020

Namjoon laughed at you as you paced around the coffee table repeating your speech over and over practically off by heart. Jungkook was sitting on the kitchen bench, his legs crossed, he had his chin resting on his palms and his elbows atop his knees looking at you with endearing eyes. 

You got stuck on a part and Jungkook grinned looking at the collection of boys standing at the counter watching you “in the best interest of the patient” The maknae prompted and you looked at him confused for a moment before looking down at the palm card and reading the line. “Which is in the best interest of the patient, should I stop?”

“It’s only your fifteenth time reciting it,” Seokjin laughed, gesturing to a plate of food each item looking especially tasty, “Come eat before you have to leave”

“Alright,” sitting down, you began devouring the rice, vegetables and the small piece of fish Seokjin had prepared for you, looking up at them you let your thoughts run wild. “What if they get pissed that I kicked them from the group project?”

“They knew what they were getting into by not helping, remember all the headaches and crying and stress. Why should they party and play around for two months,” Namjoon grinned, putting your jacket on and wrapping a scarf around your neck. “It wouldn’t be fair on you or the people that will one day be their patients if they passed without actually doing the work.”

“Wait, are you sure about the scarf?” You asked, looking down at yourself, you had never been one for scarves, even in the coldest climates you had been in you never wore a scarf. 

“I think you look really pretty,” Jimin said, retying it for you as Namjoon had done so with little finesse. “There you look so professional.”

The bus arrived sweeping you up and traveling onward towards the University reaching into your pocket you found a tiny little coin purse. Opening it to see a note inside, “Buy yourself something warm to drink ~ Jungkook”.

He was so sweet and you took his advice grabbing a mocha and adding a dash of peppermint for something a little more festive. Your morning was spent in an exam you had been preparing for as well but even whilst circling the answers you were reciting your speech silently lips moving non-stop with every word.

The exam was good. You felt confident that you knew what was being said. There was a small handful that threw you off track but they were trick questions specifically designed for that. You only had to read the question again slowly and you knew what the answer was.

Checking your phone you saw some encouraging messages from the boys, including Yoongi who had both his arms in the air with the caption, ‘Physio is going great, and your presentation will be great too. We both might be damaged but that’s another reason why I love you.”

You clicked the last slide and concluded your final points and smiled pocketing the palm cards that you hadn’t even really needed by the end of it. “Thank you for listening, does anyone have any questions?”

“Uh, yes I have a few, with the journal articles you put up I saw you had cited one for ten years ago and a new piece from last year, when reading them did you notice any significant changes between the two research pieces?”

“Of course as the previous article centered around the patient’s health the newer article was centered around the patient’s rights and even if it goes against our own thoughts, emotions, and ideology we must respect their decisions.” You smiled and she grinned back.

“Well, I think for someone who did this project all on their own you have done splendidly.” She took the final copy of the speech and patted your arm, “I can’t tell you your mark for sure but you have definitely passed however the same can’t be said about your ex-group members. I will be seeing you next semester”

“Wait did you say on her own?” Seo-Yeon asked standing ready to cause a scene and honestly, you were feeling a little smug. How could she think you would let her get a grade for not helping. “We are in the group too.”

“From the evidence submitted with a complete history of emails texts and the document history, not a single one of the other members in the group submitted any information or appeared at group meetings.” The teacher stood up having packed everything up, “Miss y/n spoke to me explaining the situation and I agreed that she could in fact remove you from the group and she has thrived on the project by herself.”

The other group mates seemed pissed and turned to her, “Why would you do that, we helped?” Seo-Yeon shouted, “She is obviously lying, she had threatened us after I exposed her for beating my father.”

“Seo-Yeon, I am happily in a relationship and your father is not in a place to say he is innocent, the evidence on CCTV shows exactly what happened and if you want I can play it for the whole class to see,” You bluffed gesturing towards the computer and projector. “There is sound too so you can hear the vile things he was saying.”

“You framed him, you have been after me ever since we met, you think because you sleep with multiple guys, that makes you trustworthy, no it makes you desperate, desperate enough to start a lawsuit against my father.” She stormed out pissed and you sighed and packed up your things. 

“When cornered people often like to lash out,” You sighed, swinging the strap of your bag over your shoulder and wrapping the scarf around your neck the way Jimin had done earlier that morning. “When they lie they look up and to the right, it makes me laugh how knowing little things like that can make someone’s argument seem totally different.”


	95. 19-12-2020

Once Exam week was officially complete. You made sure to catch up with Wendy over the phone. Starting with an apology for being distant, you spent the whole phone conversation trying to gauge the things that she liked. The questions began with her favorite color and branched off to things like hobbies and dream holidays and favorite foods. 

Writing everything down, the boys began searching for fun activities and hotels and different locations. Hanging up, you asked them what they had come up with; Jungkook and Taehyung were showing you fun activities like hang-gliding, horse riding, and rock climbing, Hoseok, and Namjoon found great locations and views. Jimin seemed to be looking up some spa locations saying he remembered how much you enjoyed your last spa day.

Jin was showing you funny party items and making you laugh. There was a text and Namjoon sighed, “Yoongi is ready to be discharged from the hospital, does anyone want to go pick him up?”

“I will go,” Hoseok and Jimin said at the same time and you hummed shaking your head and heading for the shower, once you were all clean you got into some cozy pajamas and laid down in Yoongi’s bed. You waited and Yoongi arrived back tired. He walked in wearing slippers and pajamas and he couldn’t help but grin.

“Is the bed warm?” He asked playfully, you snuggled further into the blankets.

“The warmest,” He laid down beside you, and as he settled his head on the pillow he frowned at the ceiling.

“It’s cold,” He pouted and you pulled him closer careful of his shoulder, and smiled wrapping your arms around him, “That’s better, you are so warm”

With classes over for the semester and the newest album dropped, with Yoongi’s gentle recovery and everything that happened with the director. The only thing left was the clinic and seeing as you were free from all other engagements you were taking extra shifts and learning more life and career lessons from the sage himself Doctor Chang. 

He loved the help and taught you everything from natural remedies to more invasive medical procedures. Your favourite one was a cure for indigestion, he had shown you one day after you had eaten your lunch too quickly. The relief was instant and you looked at him in shock. 

“How is this a real thing?” you stared at your thumb as the pain in your stomach lessened to nothing. He was grinning at the shocked expression, “What is this magic you wield Doctor Chang?”

“Magic, wives tale, acupuncture, placebo effect, or, Pain dissociation,” He hummed cleaning the wound and held a small cotton ball to the wound. He checked that the bleeding had stopped and grinned. “It is a mystery yet to be solved but it helps,”

“It really did help,” You laughed, giving him a sideways glance, making him laugh and protest adamantly that he was in fact ‘just a doctor’ and ‘not a wizard’ . “Whatever you say Doctor Chang”

You went to see doctor Lee, this time feeling a lot better and unable to hide your smile. “You look better. How have things been since we last saw each other?”

“Well, I did the homework and the responses I got were overwhelming and at the time I wondered why they said such nice things, but recently I feel loved and have learnt to accept and return my feelings honestly.” You laughed, “It is silly, that I was afraid of something so wholesome as love” 

“Something that might be okay with one person, may be scary to someone else. Love is such a strong emotion, that takes over the body and makes you feel like you are losing control. It is only natural to feel scary, and on top of that you have seven partners. Handing one person everything is a big step full of trust.”

She began explaining something while watching the snowfall out the window with a soft smile, “Handing over everything seven times and then being entrusted with the seven hearts and emotions of seven men. It is really nerve racking. You were brave and though there were some hardships you succeeded and are so very loved”

Turning back to face you she gave you a brilliant beaming smile “Now you just have to learn how much you have in your bank, your emotional bank and your energy bank each have a limit per day, you have to find the limit and not go overboard, it is okay being in such a big relationship to step back and let one of your other partners deal with an issue.” 

“Say you talk with one of the young men in the morning and it costs one third and you talk with two more and it takes a slither you argue about something in the afternoon and it spends the rest and then late that night you wake to hear someone crying, you don’t have to be the one to comfort them, you can but you don’t have to.”

“It’s okay not to be okay, and it’s okay not to help when you aren’t okay. Let someone who can devote their emotions to the situation. If your emotion is spent then wait until they are replenished before approaching them and showing support.” She explained handing you a few plastic wristbands each with a sliding plastic piece. 

“Get your partners to wear these with you and have them slide the piece along the bracelet regarding their bank and yours. It will let you each know who is able to help and who needs to recuperate and regain their emotions.”

“That sounds like a really good idea,” You laughed slipping it onto your wrist, “I don’t think we could use these forever but definitely for a month to see how we all react to living with each other. It will get me in tune with my capacity of interactions and maybe for them as well”

“I heard you will be starting prac, how do you feel about this?” She smiled

“Well it will be my first time in a real hospital and so I am a little nervous but, it is kind of familiar in a way. I am kind of excited” you hummed, “It is silly but, I feel the closer to becoming a doctor I get even though it’s been one singular semester, not including my experience and all the modules I have been working through with Doctor Chang. I just feel like things are falling into place and it just seems right.”

“That is wonderful” She smiled “Well how about you tell me a bit about how things are going at home with the boys, it has been four months since you moved in, have there been any memorable moments good or bad?”

“Yoongi got out of hospital which was nice” You smiled, “We have spent many afternoons cuddling and watching television, or writing songs.”

“And you have enough time for the others if you haven’t been neglecting anyone.” She asked and a thought struck you, had you been neglecting anyone. Immediately your thoughts went to Namjoon and you hummed you had moments with all the boys hanging out, having fun or even sharing a few kisses. But you didn’t exactly have a lot of one on one Namjoon time.

“I definitely should keep an eye on my distribution of time” You hummed “I don’t want to neglect anyone.”


	96. 20-12-2020

It was yours and many other first-year med students’ first day of Prac at a real hospital, you each piled into a large auditorium and sat hearing the facilitators discussing the importance of wearing the correct uniform as well as working within our scopes of practice. 

You were going to be working in the overflow ward, basically, any extras that had no room in their wards would join your ward. You were unfortunate enough to work with Seo-Yeon who was still pissed off you had failed her in an ethics class and she would have to do it again. 

Following your facilitator, you sighed trailing behind Seo-Yeon who was already becoming close friends with her. You knew now after watching her with all the professors at uni it was all an act to get a good grade. 

“This is where you will come in the morning to drop your bags, the bottom lockers are vacant, pick a locker, and set a code by typing it and hitting the hash key.” The facilitator gesticulated towards the aforementioned lockers. 

Everyone bent down at a locker and you typed in your most common 4 digit passcode, whispering under your breath, “two, two, six, four,” the meaning behind it was BANG. You giggled and headed out to take a tour of the ward. It was so excited you almost a twinge of upset you hadn’t been here earlier to nurse Yoongi.

The day went by really well, when you weren’t being bossed around by Seo-Yeon who was making it her lives goal to make you seem incompetent. She was quick to answer and flirt with the facilitator who seemed to fall for her charms instantly.

Whatever it wasn’t your problem if she didn’t like you, you only needed to take care of your patients and that’s what you did. After doing the rounds and working with the other doctors, they all seemed to notice your natural talent. The way you already knew how to do most things. 

This was a first placement after your first semester in your first year, it is mostly just to see what doctors do for four weeks and be a helping hand. But you were instinctively handing the doctor the right solution without being asked.

You were holding a small childs hand talking to them about dinosaurs while the doctor cleaned his head wound. “Oh no, The dinosaur has a bump on his head let’s clean it” You said handed the boy a small cotton pad to clean the dinosaurs head.

“Don’t cry Stegalasaurus,” the boy said shushing the dinosaur as he rubbed the cotton ball over the toys head.

“He might need stitches,” Seo-Yeon said peering at the boys head.

“It doesn’t look deep, looks like a glue job, save the boy the trauma of needles.” You hummed, looking at the boy and letting him dip the cotton ball in spare solution.

“You are definitely correct, are you sure this is your first prac?” The doctor laughed asking Seo-Yeon to collect some glue she huffed storming off.

Who does she think she is? Purposely undermining me and now I am doing errands like some dog. This is so embarrassing. I wish there was some way I could just get rid of her. Seo-Yeon hated you and that much was obvious, most of it stemmed from the fact you weren’t intimidated. That you didn’t bow to her beck and call. 

Used to getting everything she wanted and everyone in love with her; Seo-Yeon hated that she couldn’t have you, that you didn’t worship the ground she walked on. Grabbing the glue the facilitator came over gently touching Seo-Yeon’s wrist taking the bottle.

“You can take your lunch break I will take this to the room,” He smiled politely, “You looked a bit angry, I know some people get a little annoyed when they get hungry”

“Ahahaha, sorry, I must have missed breakfast this morning,” Seo-Yeon laughed, cursing herself for wearing such a sour face, her father didn’t pay for her to look this good just to wear an angry expression. “I will go eat,”

Racing off to the lunch room, Seo-Yeon took out her lunch and sat watching the television, it was showing the latest scandal, BTS wearing hats and masks getting Japchae and who trail behind but a blurred face woman in a familiar outfit.

She brushed her hair back and there was those stupid pumpkin earrings. Seo-Yeon’s head started to spin with the rush of thoughts. You worked as BTS’ assistant manager, she knew this. But in class seven men in disguise entered and began kissing and hugging you. Were they pretending to be your boyfriends or were the eight of you actually together.

Seo-Yeon took a deep breath and abandoned her sandwich, she needed evidence. The question was; how would she get some substantial evidence? Idols were already experts at undercover relationships with only a few slip ups here and there.

Seo-Yeons phone pinged and she froze looking at the message from her latest boyfriend sending a sappy text. An idea hit, she ducked down to the lower lockers and looked at the door concealing your things inside. Taking the lock in hand Seo-Yeon laughed.

The idiot siad the numbers out loud and Seo-Yeon wasn’t going to do something petty like steal but she had remembered the number sequence so as to perhaps slip some off milk into her locker. Opening the locker Seo-Yeon opened your bag and took out your phone, of course their was a passcode on it.

Cursing Seo-Yeon tried the same digits in the hopes of getting lucky. What an Idiot. Seo-Yeon had gotten into the mobile device and had arrived at the messages with a group chat called lover boys. They were all talking about the first day of prac and there was a bunch of pictures of the boys with you one where you were asleep on jin’s chest and him smiling. There was another of you smiling with Jimin in the mirror, Jhope shirtless behind you both wrapped in a towel.

Seo-Yeon went to your photos and saw pictures of wedding dresses and paled. There was no way in hell you were all getting married. This was just crazy. Transferring photos and conversations. Seo-Yeon threw her head back laughing. What luck I have, Time to make your life hell like you did to me with the project. 

“Hey, you okay?” You asked stepping into the room. Pausing to see the locker open and your phone in Seo-Yeon’s hands. “Is that my phone.”

“I know you and the BTS boys are dating and I have you photo’s and messages, I will leak these if you don’t do as I say” She smiled “Consider it payback for having me repeat that class”

“You are joking?” You hissed snatching your phone back ready to punch a wall.


	97. 21-12-2020

You had seen way too many dramas with Seokjin, and the main character always bows to the other persons will and you remember saying to Seokjin every time that if that was you, you would say no, nothing was worth that much usually if the main character just told someone they were being blackmailed the whole thing would stop. 

“Just snatch the camera from him, he doesn’t have any backup!” You shouted at the tv, the boys laughing at you. “Why doesn’t she just grab it?”

“Calm down drama’s are different to real-life” Jungkook shrugged, “No one would let someone blackmail them when they could just deny it, photoshop is a thing”

Boy was Jungkook wrong, there were situations where things were at risk, and you had an actual decision to make. Something was echoing in the back of your head growing louder as you felt unsettled. Finally, it hit you and your head shouted at you to take the phones.

Snatching the phone from Seo-Yeon’s hands but it’s not the one she expects and as she is stunned you grab yours too and run out of the staff room dumping the phones into the fish tank in the patient lounge. She shrieks when the fish try to nibble on her arm and she storms off, you pull them out not minding the tickling feeling of the fish trying to nibble your arm and you take her phone and pocket it. 

Both the phones were waterproof anyway the newest models of phones, so thank gosh for the fish that scared Seo-Yeon away. Now you would have to call the BigHit legal team to have a word with her. One non-disclosure agreement later and if she breached the contract would result in her giving up her entire fortune and some.

You got a response quickly from Mister Lee who agreed and said he would be waiting to escort miss Seo-Yeon to the BigHit building once her shift was over. You were quick to change your locker pin, getting back to work quickly and frowning.

It wasn’t until the end of the shift did you have some sense of relief. Seo-Yeon was escorted from the ward by Mister Dong and his security team. You handed over Seo-Yeon’s phone and he nodded and left. Weird how saving someone’s life can make you friends.

There was nothing much you could do, except wait. Wait for results or wait for the world to turn against you. You arrived home dropping your things and stepping into the lounge and pausing the show standing in front of the TV. Ready to explain to the boys exactly what happened.

“You know how in dramas, the main character is being blackmailed and is stupid,” You asked and they nodded from their seats on the lounge, each curious as to what you had to say. “I got blackmailed today and…”

After the whole conversation, you slid the little circle on the bracelet to the end and slumped on the couch. “I am done with today, I can’t anymore”

“I will run you a bath,” Hoseok smiled.

The boys had taken the bracelets very seriously and when someone had reached their limit they all stepped up and took care of one another. It was really good to gauge how much people had to give. 

Jimin and Hoseok seemed to have their numbers go up all day, it seemed even the smallest moments by themselves or a pleasant conversation with the other boys had them feeling better. Jungkook and Namjoon had a slow decline throughout the day with peaks around mealtimes. Yoongi’s only shifted daily, whatever the number was when he woke up that was the number until he fell asleep. 

Jin and Taehyung had high numbers and one argument would have them zero out really quickly, it took a lot of time in their rooms listening to classical music or playing video games to regain some back.

Yours fluctuated at times and stilled at others, it depended on the day, the situations, and the discussions. But you had never given yourself a zero until today. The boys were attentive and soon you were in a warm bath. The warm water soothed your muscles and soon you let your body relax. 

“Mister Lee called it seems Seo-Yeon has been taken care of,” He said and your mouth fell open.

“They killed her?” you sat up quickly water sloshing in the tub. 

“What? No, she signed the contract and swore not to tell a soul” Namjoon explained, chuckling at the alarmed look on your face, Hoseok gently pushed you to sit back down. Namjoon continued tapping the bracelet on his wrist, “Stay here and relax, we will give you some alone time”

The bracelets were truly a god send, nobody questioned the reasoning but they respected the numbers. Perhaps you might keep them a little longer.

Stepping into the cafe, you had received a call from Sangwoo after work. Wendy was crying and it took a moment of soothing the woman before she finally was able to talk coherently. She was upset that some of Sangwoo’s family weren’t coming to the wedding because they didn’t approve of Wendy.

“They said that Sangwoo should marry a Korean girl. Just because I am black doesn’t mean I am not Korean.” She huffed, you felt guilty for not being there for her again but you assured her that everything was getting better exams were over, so you had no excuse not to be there for her from now on. 

You made sure to tell her the days you had selected corresponding with each of the bridal parties schedules. “You said you were free that weekend, is that still okay?”

“Of course,” She smiled “Thank you so much for planning it, I hope I am no bridezilla, I don’t want to be crazy”

“No, you aren’t,” You giggled, taking another bite of your blueberry muffin, “But, speaking of Let me tell you about crazy”

The two of you delve into the story about Seo-Yeon stealing your phone and trying to blackmail you. Wendy was shocked, her eyes wide as she shrieked, “She didn’t!”

“She did!” You replied eyes equally wide to show your disbelief with the situation.


	98. 22-12-2020

You were finishing up for the day. Two weeks had past and brought with it a team building field trip to Busan where you would be able to attend a seminar regarding public health and the paying systems and financing of health care.

On your way out to the bus you saw a young woman walking out from the day clinic, she looked oddly familiar. Searching her bag for something, she must have been successful as when she looked up she was clutching a set of keys.

“Areum!”

“Oh, hey Y/n” She laughed “I had forgotten that you were working here, We haven’t seen you in a while, we wanted to ask you over for dinner it’s the least we can do for you buying us that wonderful house.”

“Well I am not free for a least two and a half weeks” You sighed “Prac and a bachelorette party”

“Yeah that’s why we hadn’t asked, last time we talked you had a long list of things you had to do. We didn’t want to bother you. You just had your exams right” She smiled

You heard your name called by the facilitator and readjusted the bag. “Areum, Two and half weeks dinner, I will be there. Sorry that I can’t talk, I am running late.”

“Oh, no worries,” She waved calling across the huge lobby, “we will catch up then”

The bus ride was long and the bus was small meaning you had to share your seat. Lucky for you the young lady who sat next to you was cheerful and had a plethora of snacks. The two of you didn’t see much of eachother apparently she was in pediatrics and loving it, the two of you swapped stories.

Her name was Lee Suzy and she was a brilliant young woman who reminded you a bit like Seokjin with her terrible terrible puns. When you finally arrived the two of you decided to share a hotel room, what was unexpected was that Seo-Yeon joined you as the final person in the room.

You looked at her apprehensingly and sighed whatever, it was two nights there wasn’t anything she could do. Well that’s what you thought, the first night past without an issue the seminar was amazing. You had texted Namjoon at lunch saying you missed him and he should escape and come see you. That night you all went for the team building portion of the weekend, the group was going out drinking.

It was a good night and you were having a lot of fun, but you noticed when you began playing a drinking game to get to know eachother Seo-Yeon was picking on you, you were four drinks in, but lucky you had a high alcohol intolerance.

You messaged the group chat and told them what was happening, Namjoon didn’t seem to happy. You told them you were eating so the drinking would slow down for a half an hour. They didn’t seem happy but you put your phone in your pocket and resumed your dinner. Half an hour past and you ordered a dessert trying to prolong the drinking again as Seo-Yeon was eyeing you from down the table. 

It didn’t take long for the drinking to start back up again and you giggled along playing games, trying to beat Seo-Yeon at her own game by taking every drink she through at you. 

“I am just going to go to the bathroom and wash my hands,” You were in a stall closest to the alley way behind the restaurant. You could smell the smoke rolling in, and voices talking about nothing of importance to you.

That is until you hear your name, you focused on your sense of hearing, “I am trying to get her drunk and maybe I can get one of the other guys to lay beside her and I can get pictures. Frame her and send the evidence to her boyfriends.”

Pulling out your phone you sent a message, ‘Seo-Yeon is trying to frame me in bed with someone, I don’t think I was meant to hear her plan but I did so whatever.’ You hit send and hurried to get out of the bathroom.

The party continued but you got crafty trying not to drink anymore, but it seemed the damage was done. You were lethargic your eyes heavy lidded and you heard a familiar voice but in and a hand grab your arm.

“Let go.” You said the man who had dragged you outside turned you to face him and when he pulled down his mask you saw it was Namjoon looking down at you concerned. 

“How much did you drink?” He asked “I am glad I took the first flight after you said you missed me because otherwise you would be in bed with some other man.”

“I am sorry, i didn’t mean to drink so much” You mumbled, he seemed furious as he lead you to the taxi and the two of you were on your way back to the hotel. During the taxi ride you had snuggled up to Namjoon. He seemed less angered and by the second and more protective, letting his hands wrap around your waist he kissed your temple and told you to rest.

“Thank you,” Namjoon whispered getting out the car and scooping you from the back seat carrying you bridal style against his chest, he walked into the elevator and headed to the top floor. As the elevator ascended slowly he held you against the wall to relief some of the weight from his arms and back.

“I am sorry, am I heavy?” you tried to get out of his arms but he held you firmly to his chest.

“You are just right, I am just resting,” He kissed your nose making your eyes cross, “You are cute,”

Once in the confines of a private room, Namjoon sat you on the bed and went to fetch something to drink and some pain killers hoping you wouldn’t get sick. He came back phone pressed to his ear, “She is okay, I got her before anyone else could land there hands on her. Yes, I know, I won’t let that happen”

“I am sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worried” You frowned leaning your body forward and resting your head on Namjoon’s shoulder. “I should have thought more about you guys.”

Namjoon brushed his hand across your hair and whispered softly before tucking you into the bed.


	99. 22-12-2020 SMUT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a SMUT chapter do not read unless over the legal age.  
> It is actually more mature but I am saying smut to be safe.

You don’t know how long you had been sleeping for but at some point, you woke feeling hot, you sat up and thanked Namjoon for giving you painkillers and water as it had eased your hangover before it began. 

You walked to the small bar fridge grabbing a bottle of cold water you pulled off your dress and huffed, drinking the water not bothered if the cold liquid dripped down your chest.

Namjoon was quick to notice your absence from the bed, he was a light sleeper and always knew when things weren’t peaceful in the night. “Hey, are you okay?” Namjoon asked, walking over his eyes scrunched from the light of the open minibar.

The light illuminated your shapely legs and soft stomach, he could see you were only wearing undergarments and he looked away for a second trying to push the images aside. “Would you like one of my shirts to sleep in?”

“It’s too hot for shirts,” Your voice was husky and it made Namjoon’s head overheat with ideas, he turned to the thermostat on the wall and set the temperature a little lower, and sighed leading you back to the bed.

“How are you feeling? Have you got a headache or nausea from the alcohol?” Namjoon was doting respectfully and he sat beside you letting you lay your head against his shoulder. He rubbed your side hoping to soothe you and it was working, skin prickling with the change of temperature.

One shiver alerted him to the fact you had gotten cold, he pulled you under the blanket and you slipped your cool hands up his shirt pressing your palms against his soft stomach. “You are so cold?”

“Maybe you can warm me up?” You grinned, he captured your lips in a kiss that made your heart skip a beat, he wrapped his warm hands around you, and as he went to deepen the kiss he kneed you in the leg making you laugh. 

“Oh, I am sorry, did I hurt you?” He asked looking at you, sitting up you reached behind your back to unhook your bra. He was stunned for a moment and you grabbed him by his neck and fell back onto the bed dragging him after you, the two of you head-butted each other lightly prompting even more giggles.

“I am sorry,” Namjoon said again out of habit, making you grin and kiss his chin.

“That was my fault Joonie, I am still a bit tipsy” You laughed, “I can’t control my strength or coordination, as well as I, normally can”

It seemed that was the theme of the night, giggles and fumbling in the dark, whispering “I’m sorry’s” as the two of you accidentally bumped and bruised one another.


	100. 22-12-2020

Misha was graduating, the school finally approved a closed ceremony. It was live streamed and you and the boys watched Misha step onto the stage and collect her certificates before posing for a photo and walking off stage.

Alan had contacted everyone and made sure that they were all available for a celebratory dinner, the boys wanted to go to congratulate Misha but they made sure not to let slip their whereabouts so they could enjoy the party.

Misha arrived at the small rented hall and you grinned seeing some of her friends, they were all super nice. Everyone was having a blast, Misha was dancing on the floor in her stunning purple dress. The boys who were hiding behind the DJ booth had just hooked up some microphones and they put on the back track and began performing for Misha.

Misha had to collect their things from the school and texted you saying that they were the talk of the school, word got out that BTS were at the after party.

It was your second last week of Prac and you were excited to get busy, stepping onto the ward you heard someone shout “Hey, it’s you!” Freezing, the students, the Doctor and the facilitator all stopped looking at this small group of doctors.

“Oh my gosh it is you, right?” The shaggy haired doctor beamed “You’re the girl in the hazmat suit who carried patients through the fog to the hospital, and you fought alongside the army against the gunman, You even started delivering food to those who needed it”

“I thought she was a bit sadder,” another male said “We used to call her dead eyes because she was emotionless”

“Of course that is her,” A young doctor with a short bob nodded “You look much better now”

“Ah yeah, that was me,” You chuckled nervously, not used to having such an enthusiastic fanbase. “I just helped where I could it wasn’t really that great”

“You were like wonder woman,” ONe of the women laughed, “I heard you saved Jeon Jungkook from BTS”

“I heard you took a bullet for him” One of the men said excitedly

“It wasn’t for Jungkook, it was Seokjin,” You laughed thanking you had worn a pencil skirt as you raised the side of the skirt and showed off the wound. “I got shot, hid in the boot of a car for eleven hours and then drove into a pole outside Doctor Chang’s clinic and he patched me up. 

“That is so cool,” They laughed. “You are like a real life wonder woman.”

“What was it like to get shot?” 

“Maybe we could talk over coffee?”

“Are you still friends with the Boys from BTS?”

“Did you meet any other idols?”

The facilitator ushered you away and the Doctor you were following gave them a quick chat about professionalism. They scurried off and the other Med students were confused about what you had done and others put it together.

“Ah you were on TV, the one who was using baby talk in your speech” The med student laughed.

“That became a meme” they laughed together, making your cheeks heat up.

The next event after the Graduation was the bachelorette party, you had tailored it to Wendy’s personality. She wasn’t big on drinking or clubs, so you had booked a brilliant hotel and parasailing over the water, the next day you would have high tea and then finish the day by doing a sip and paint, where you would all drink some wine and paint some flowers in a vase. 

Misha and you were the only two who didn’t drink, Wendy’s sister and two sisters in law were also coming so it would be fun for everyone. You had the action, the funny and the elegant. Her bachelorette was going amazing and you knew she was going to love the final activity, a massage.

She was relaxing while you all swam around in the pool and you could see from the smile on her face she was happy and she thanked you all so much for making it such a lovely weekend. 

It seemed many of the big events were slowly being checked off your calendar all that was left was Wendy’s wedding but that wasn’t for a few more months. Taking your leave you crawled into Yoongi’s bed and turned out the light looking at your phone and texting Areum who was excited to see you the next day for dinner. 

It was going to be good, you hadn’t spoken to your brother or his girlfriend in a long time and it would be nice to catch up and tease them a little for sure.

Thinking about your brother made you think about your parents who you hadn’t seen or heard from in a really long time. It’s not like you were ignoring them, both sides were just content knowing the other existed, the moment someone voiced concern they would be the first to message about your safety.

Your parents just weren’t the type for idle chit chat, nor did they have the need to contact you everyday to discuss pointless everyday topics. Honestly you preferred it this way it gave you more to talk about with your parents when you did catch up.

Despite this you sent a text, just checking in making sure everyone was still healthy and staying safe, you would have to wait for a message back as the time difference meant they were in bed already. Placing the phone on the bedside table you shrouded yourself in darkness and fell into a pleasant dream.

Within the dream you could walk the streets with the boys and hold hands and kiss and nobody batted an eyelash. The boys were so loving and kind you started to cry, you were gently woken to see Jungkook standing in Yoongi’s room.

“I came past to get a drink and you were whimpering and crying, was it a bad dream?” Jungkook sat down wiping your eyes on his sweater. “Can you tell me about it, love?”

“It was a really nice dream, we could walk down the street and hold hands and we could kiss and touch and no one on the street cared” You huffed wiping at your eyes harshly. “If only it were that simple.”


	101. 22-12-2020

You spent the whole time after you returned from work, trying to wrangle the boys into appropriate attire. “We are supposed to leave in half an hour” you shouted, taking the freshly pressed shirt to Yoongi and helping him into the sleeves gently. It was going to be a long night at the rate everyone was going.

Jimin was trying to find the perfect pair of dress pants but if they got any tighter you were scared his muscular thighs would bust the fabric if he even thought of dinner. “Jimin, if you can’t do the splits in those pants you can’t wear them out”

“That’s easy,” he laughed, dropping in the hallway only to hear a rip of fabric. His laughter ceased and his mouth fell into an impressively plump pout. Turning tail to change into another pair of trousers, you smiled seeing the hint of the bright blue fabric of Jimin’s underwear.

“I love those high waisted ones you wore the other day…” Fixing Yoongi’s collar you gave him an apologetic expression, “Wait let me find them, they are my favorite on you, they make you look like a prince”

“Which shirt should I wear?” Namjoon showed you the two button-ups as you lifted some pants off the bed and threw them at Jimin who was sliding out of the torn trousers.

“The dark one, if you spell anything on it, we will have a better chance of removing the stain,” You smacked his butt as you ducked past to Namjoon’s office and shut the door, you had to get ready. Taking a deep breath you started on hair and makeup before slipping in something a little daring, you hadn’t worn dresses often. 

You preferred wearing suits, but this one was a classic black dress from the movies and you matched it with silver jewelry and heels. Taking a moment adjusting to the heels you bit your lip at the uncertainty in your scared thigh. You would have to strengthen the muscle some more.

With a sigh, you were brought back into reality hearing the boys running around the apartment. Opening the door to the office Jungkook was rushing down the hall full speed at you, trying to stop but his dress socks caused him to slip. You stepped over him and he let his hand run over your smooth calf.

“I like the view,” He giggled, you blushed walking away only to be trapped by Seokjin who was dancing in the Lounge room exaggeratingly a de-thorned rose between his teeth. He took your hand spinning you around until you were dazed and dipped you low.

He wiggled his eyebrows to the music and you couldn’t help but giggle, “We are going to be late”

The group sat putting on their shoes and you leaned against the wall admiring the seven young and very handsome men dressed up to have dinner with your brother. You smiled walking around kissing each of them on their heads and knelt in front of Yoongi who looked like he was struggling. 

You knew he didn’t want to be doted on and treated any differently but you couldn’t resist helping him into his shoes and smiling up at him. “I think the shoe fits, Sugarella, we must be wed”

The house brought back pleasant memories and you were quick to share a giggle with the boys, they straightened their suits and smoothed down any rogue strands of hair. You pretended to look at your watch which made Taehyung laughed and smacked your butt playfully.

“Oi! Hands off” You made karate hands at Taehyung trying to act tough.

“Exactly, hands off my sister,” Thomas said, “Now that all the Fog stuff is over and everything has settled down with family work and the house, it is time to have a little chat with you boys.”

“Alright, but can we have the chat inside, it is cold and they are going to freeze their butts off,” Areum led everyone through the door, Seokjin took your coat before you were dragged further inside. “I am so glad to catch up, I haven’t really had anyone to talk to and it is actually so boring sitting around. I thought we would at least pass each other in the BigHit building as you are the boy’s assistant manager.

“That’s just an excuse so that I can be seen around him, also speaking of seeing each other around, I saw you whilst I was at work the other day.” You said sitting in the living room watching Jungkook, Hoseok, and Jimin were dutifully helping pass around drinks and platters of nibbles. “You were stepping out of the clinic.”

“Have you been feeling under the weather with the change in season?” Namjoon asked looking at Areum who blushed.

“Well, perhaps it is time to tell you that…” She began and you turned looking at her in shock, “We are having a baby?”

“A baby!?” You shrieked inhaling a cracker, Yoongi lazily patted you back with his good arm and Taehyung gave you his glass of juice which you drank enthusiastically. “How far along are you?”

“I am now two and a half months pregnant and everything looks good, the baby is healthy,” Areum got emotional and you got up hugging her, “I am sorry, it’s the pregnancy hormones.”

“It’s true, she cried watching home alone last night.” Her body shook with a mix of laughter and soft sobs. “We wanted you to be the first to know.”

“I am really excited for you, that’s so nerve-racking and exciting” You smiled “Have you bought anything yet?”

They showed you to the nursery and you let out a small whine at how adorable the room was, there wasn’t much but it was enough to see what they were going for. Namjoon cooed over the little items and he patted Thomas on the back and congratulated him. “You are going to be an amazing dad.”

“Thanks, it really means a lot,” he shook Namjoon’s hand officially and held it a little tightly, “You, the boys, and I have to have a little discussion while Areum tells Y/n about our theme and the baby names we have been thinking about.”

You heard a collective gulp from the boys as they followed your brother from the room.


	102. 23-12-2020

It was the day of Wendy’s wedding, everyone was getting ready, it was a very Private event and Wendy had given you an invitation with a plus Seven. She included she understood if the boys couldn’t make it because of how public it was but you had grinned when the boys got excited and took their suits to the dry cleaner. 

You looked at the boys and sighed there was something adorable about how excited they were, they seemed to be loving the spark of freedom to go to parties. They didn’t really go to clubs as it was usually a mess that ended in scandals.

There was a surprise that had taken a lot of work with you, Sangwoo, and the BTS boys all helped you make it happen and you were so excited. You were with Wendy getting your hair and makeup done, You looked soft and the makeup style was different from what you were used to it was pretty, slipping into the soft chiffon dress you took a picture of the fabric and your heel and sent it to the boys and your phone blew up. Ping ping ping.

“What is happening?” Wendy asked concerned

Misha looked over whilst getting her makeup done, she was looking stunning and the color of the dress really made her skin look velvety soft. Her hair which was naturally to her shoulders had extensions and her long legs were perfect for the style of dress.

“Relax, I just sent a picture of a portion of the dress and they are going off,” You grinned 

“What did they say?” She laughed and you opened the group chat and laughed. “There are spam messages from the boys saying more more more more, then they say they are so excited to see how pretty I look and oh no, Yoongi told them to calm down I am not the one in a wedding dress, um…”

“What is it?” Wendy laughed at the horrified look on your face.

“No they are arguing about how good, I would look in a wedding dress, they are sending me pictures of wedding dresses they like and have decided that we should have seven weddings because they want to see me in all the dresses” You wanted to bury your head in your hands but you were wearing a full face of makeup.

“Seven Weddings!” Your voice cracked, “we have never spoken of marriage and now we are having seven weddings, you are having one and you are stressed, imagine six more.”

“Oh hell no” She laughed “Tell them you will have only have seven weddings if they are the ones who plan them”

“It’s nice to have seven handsome men who adore you, you are honestly my hero” Misha laughed, her smile lit up her eyes and made your heart soar.

You walked down the aisle before the Bride and caught sight of the boys their camera’s out recording the moment, your cheeks flushed and you ducked your head so that you could do your job properly.

The ceremony was beautiful and you all went out for photo’s, after an hour the bridal party drove over to the venue, which the boys had been setting up. When the bride and groom arrived everyone clapped and you located the boys moving over to the side and the song began, it was just a generic love song. 

But the catch was it was being sung by the ten members of NCT127 who Namjoon had kindly asked to perform and they happily obliged. It was amazing and the boys revealed themselves and it took no time for wendy to spot them. 

Wendy’s face lit up and Mark congratulated her on her wedding. She kissed her husband and the two spun around the dance floor. After dinner, you were guided onto the dance floor when the dinner music had ended and the dancing began by Hoseok who was being so playful making you giggle.

“You look so pretty Jagiya,” He smiled “I love you so much”

“And I love you” You giggled as you saw Jungkook catch Hoseok’s arm and ask if he could interrupt to have the next dance, as Hoseok stepped back Seokjin stepped in taking your hand and swaying with you gently he grinned cheekily over your shoulder.

“I am older,” He said to Jungkook

“Yeah, you are ancient” Jungkook laughed and missed a swinging limb from Seokjin, you calmed him before he could go after the maknae. Yoongi stepped in his one arm still in a sling and he apologized.

“I am sorry, I can’t hold your hand,” his head hung low, “Or spin you,”

“I like this better” You grinned placing both hands gently around his neck playing with his hair. “It looks like we are two teens at their first high school dance.”

He pulled a face, not liking the image you presented him, “I should let the others dance with you I guess” 

You looked over his shoulder and saw them watching you, Yoongi stepped back and Jimin pushed his drink into Jungkook’s hand and raced forward. Jungkook looked betrayed holding the drink and Yoongi held your hand out to Jimin who took it with a grin. 

Jimin moved so smoothly around the dance floor guiding you around and you grinned as he spun you into Taehyung’s arms and he swept you up and continued dancing. You couldn’t help but laugh it was such a smooth move and you were happy the boys were having fun. After a really silly waltz from Taehyung, he seemed to be feeling the music and adding some flamboyant kicks and spins dancing to his own rhythm.

Namjoon went to cut in but was interrupted by Mark, the boys grinned “Hey thanks, we might have to head out now but, thanks for the party and cake. Oh, would you like a dance?” 

Namjoon smiled whisking you away before Mark even had a chance, but when you looked over it seemed Winwin was asking Misha to dance. Namjoon’s footwork was a little clumsy and he stood on your dress at one point but you loved it. His expression eased his shoulders relaxed and as he moved you around the dance floor it became less and less clumsy and more refined. 

“You look so pretty, Jagiya,” He whispered in your ear, his breath tickling your skin gently, “this color looks really nice on you.”

“Thanks, Joonie.” He picked you up and spun you around before continuing dancing.

You were approached by Jungkook who held out his hand, you took it and was pulled into his arms from the reluctant Namjoon. As you went to take the first step the song faded out quickly and it was announced that the bride and groom were cutting the cake. 

“We will dance later, Kookie” You grinned, the cake cutting was done and dessert was served, everyone sat and enjoyed their desserts. Misha couldn’t help but fangirl over the NCT boys who all took turns dancing with her, during the last song. Speeches began next and then it was the bouquet toss. 

You stood at the back of a group of young girls waiting for the dreaded scramble and when the bouquet was tossed. What you didn’t expect was for it to land in the lap of Jimin who was in a fit of giggles from the pure shock of catching a flying bouquet. He tried to hand it back but Wendy and the other girls shook their heads and told him he won. 

“Oh well now we will have to marry Jimin,” You said sitting at the table

Yoongi looked at the table and smiled softly, “you two would make cute brides,”

“No!” Jimin huffed, Hoseok was trying to get Taehyung and Jimin to dance with him, but you weren’t sure how that was working out. The night dragged on and the DJ called for the last dance and played a slow one.

Jungkook sat on his chair playing with the edge of the table cloth downcast, standing you walked over, reaching down to take his hands, “Spin me around the dance floor?”

He looked up with big eyes and tried to downplay the bright beaming smile on his face but it was no use, you could see how happy it made him. It was the cheesy love song from dirty dancing and the two of you spun and swayed slowly enjoying being in each other’s arms. 

Almost everyone had gone home so Jungkook didn’t think twice before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips. The group climbed into the Starex van and Taehyung removed your heels as you let out a yawn. “What a long day.”

Jungkook buckled you in and Taehyung pulled your head onto his shoulder. You couldn’t help but laugh as halfway home the two on either side of you had fallen asleep. With the soft rumbling in Taehyung’s chest, you were quick to follow falling asleep with all the memories you made during the night.


	103. 24-12-2020

You woke instantly checking your Instagram feed, there were pictures of Wendy and Sangwoo at the cafe and Areum’s belly with the ultrasound and blue balloons announcing it was a baby boy. The pair were soon to be married and you were excited about their upcoming wedding, a little nervous about seeing your parents again.

They hadn’t met the boys but you had recently told them you were in a polyamorous relationship. Your father didn’t really know what it meant but laughed saying seven incomes were better than none. You happily reminded him that it was eight incomes and even if none of them made money you would still be with them.

The boys were lounging around the house, it was almost Christmas after all and they were watching home alone again. You had watched it together a week ago and you couldn’t help but think they were a little obsessed.

You arrived at the Uni library it was the last day it was open, you had taken a few fast track courses between semesters and so you wanted to utilize the time as best you could. Misha sat across from you at the library and was dressed snugly in a scarf and long jeans. 

“Hey, how is the studying?” You asked, Misha was fast-tracking courses as she was at an odd stage of transitioning and didn’t really go out much. Meaning she had more time to study and took on a few more courses. Only recently getting discharged from the hospital she was about to be in the hospital again for another surgery that she was super excited about.

“Ask me how many days?” she squealed holding her phone up facing her.

“How many days?” You asked and she flipped the phone around to a countdown that said  _ ‘11 days’  _ in the middle of the screen. The two of you studied for two hours, getting work done and gossiping about boys. 

Seo-Yeon passed your table, last you heard her father was recovering and she had settled down a lot becoming more reserved. Your phone vibrated on the table your alarm appearing and you shot up out of your seat piling books into your bag.

“Oh, I have to go or I will be late” You breathed, Misha, smiled wishing you luck as you raced out the front door to the parking lot to see the boys there.

“You are here finally, we almost thought we would have to go in after you.” Jumping into the van the manager took off and you headed to the large building, you were sat in hair and makeup as were the boys. 

Everyone was laughing and giggling the boys started singing and you joined in having a good time. One of the stylist Unnies pushed you into the change room and were given a pretty pastel blue dress with a cute soft white sweater.

Once all the boys were dressed and ready you stepped onto the set, “Hello and welcome back to RUN BTS I am the new Host Y/n. It’s time for  Dallyeolaa ...” You grinned as everyone joined you in saying “ Bangtan!”

“It has been so long about 5 months now,” You laughed and the boys grinned

“A lot has changed as you can see we have a host which means we all get to play in the games and participate because we have a designated MC and we also get a new friend to hang out and play with on set.” Namjoon smiled

“We haven’t seen each other since the award show a few months ago” Hoseok smiled lying for the sake of the fans.

“So much has changed, Jungkook’s hair is longer, Yoongi had surgery on his shoulder and you released a new album topped the Billboard charts and you got nominated for a grammy.” You laughed

“Before we get started there is a penalty from the last pajama episode” YOu laughed sending Jimin and Namjoon off to get changed and the two came back making you laugh.

“Wow, stunning, is this the cover of Vogue?” You smiled making Jimin pose, the games began and everyone was having fun and working hard. “Today you will be doing sixteen missions with thirty-minute breaks in between. If you complete five missions you can go home early. 

The group was playing games and you noticed Yoongi doing a puzzle and sat down beside him, you hadn’t told anyone but you were insanely good at puzzles. You had formed all the side pieces in a matter of five minutes while Yoongi had put four pieces together.

“Wah, what is your IQ!?” Yoongi exclaimed when the timer went off at thirty minutes you had finished half the puzzle.

“I have never tested my IQ, I just really like puzzles. Haha,” You laughed standing ready to MC again.

“Team Jump rope,” You giggled remembering your past with dancing “Strange fact but when I was in middle school I was part of a Jump rope dance team. We did all sorts of tricks”

The boys watched you do some tricks with the jump rope and you hoped that you seemed worthy enough for the show a mix of entertaining, funny, skilled, and nice. The boys were great at jump rope and you were proud to see them win they circled you in their huddled and started chanting jumping around.

It was while everyone was eating that you and Jungkook climbed the basketball machine and started giggling quietly while fabricating the high score. Jimin started laughing and the two of you were exposed.

Heading back to the table you sat down and saw a dish you were unfamiliar with.

“What is this?” You smiled gesturing to the dish.

“Try it!” Jimin grinned and you could hear Hoseok giggling behind you, part of you knew you wouldn’t, because of Jimin’s mischievous look and Hoseok’s giggling but you wanted to appear funny for the fans. “You will like it!”

Taking a bite you immediately felt the spice on your tongue and you started to cry a little, thanking the stylists that you were wearing waterproof makeup with a strong setting spray. Jimin frowned “I am sorry, I didn’t know it was that spicy”

They brought you a tub of ice cream and you began eating it sniffling. “It tastes really good it just burns”

“It is the hottest dish at the restaurant,” Jimin said, “Last time, Hoseok and Taehyung tried it and Taehyung vomited”

When the two episodes were officially finished the eight of you walked off set hugging, kissing, and holding hands as you saw fit. Jimin giving you kisses in apology for the spicy food. The boys quickly got changed into their own warm clothes and you followed, wrapping yourself in a warm coat. Once in the Starex van, you all headed home so you could cuddle on the couch and watch ‘Home Alone 2’ again.


End file.
